Hello Mr, please do not take every advice that you see here. Some of us here are not married while some of us here are even not better than you.

But base on some advice here, if you know deep down you that you are clean, kindly involve her own relative(s) (a trusted one to the best of your knowledge) to report and warn her, only if you guys are genuinely married o.

But if you have done the above mentioned before,then it is time for you to be a man!

I am a man and this has happened to me before. Certainly, i think you are older than me but i am more brave here.
In this present world, don't let it look so obvious that you are disturbed about your wife turning your children at you. The more she notices it, the more she finds pleasure punishing your heart, emotions and psychology.

You must learn to counter it.

For instance, tell her relatives( if possible all that you know) to warn your wife never to tell the kids to disrespect you again, or else she or the kids will not like it. Secondly, any of you kids that fails to run an errand for you, find a means to punish him or her, but try your best not to loose guards. Let the means of punishment be of correction and not otherwise.

Lastly, you must learn how to use "carrot and stick approach". While you do all these mentioned above, there must be someone out there that she "worships" or respects a lot. Look out for the person to be you intermediary

Things women do everyday. Some can be so angelic before marriage. Once you marry them and they have kids for you. Boom, they will bring out their hidden character. Some of them are on a mission. I think you should try and involve family members in this your case.

Promotions:
Wow!!!... Sir if you don't do something about this, your children won't only disrespect you but your wife as they grow up and may go astray, from your comments you're not so innocent too (cheating and whatever the case may be) your wife on the other hand needs to be counselled cos she's spoiling her kids thinking she's getting back at you...if you can find it in your heart forgive her, show her more love and make her happy...if that doesn't work, talk to her people (parents or who ever she respects).. God help you with your decisions and bless your home Sir..

She would only get worse begging her. Except her mind gets opened to the fact that she is destroying the lives of her kids she wont stop.Not easy dealing with foolishness.

Double your efforts. When you make more money than her,your Children will definitely run after you.
However, they are just behaving like a normal kids.By the time the first one is 17,her mum won't be able to to control her again.

You as a man has failed in your duty as a father and husband. Make up things with your wife.

My brother ,sorry to say you have failed as a man,this is the bitter truth ,there is somebody either advising or giving your wife the guts to do all the silly hell of rubbish,..could be a man.

You have to leave that house ,go away for months ,by the time you are out ,both your wife and your kids will know your worth ,maybe your kids ,not your wife ,..

You need to gain your respect back ,.. don't even beg her please don't ,if it gonna cost violence for your kids to respect you again,then the voilence start ,....pardon any wrong spelling ,l am f.....king angry

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Sinceshe has turned your children against you, turn her children against her too.

Using kids as pawns. Pathetic..why do women do that crap

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Just know it's gonna get far worse when you get older and retired. She'll show you shege to d extent u may die off without seeing any of ur grandchildren. Way out? Try and stop d quarrels or simply divorce and start another family.

just imagine the extent of mischief.. That is how they will frustrate him out of his home now and later call him "deadbeat".

Donno know where some people meet these kinds of rubbish women.

mimimile93:
Sinceshe has turned your children against you, turn her children against her too.

Men dont usually do that... It's sooooooo petty.

Ladylite:


Travel unannounced, for months.

Change your number.

Work, do odd jobs if you must but come back only when she is broken and begging and crying and desperate.... Ensure she begs on phone and each of the children beg and apologize. Do not return unless you are far richer, looking better.


Then travel again just before they get used to you.


She will learn what I have learned, that your potential is unlimited and she is not responsible enough to hold you down. So it will make her humble.

How will the wife begs on phone when you said he shpuld change his phone? They wont beg anything except he is the breadwinner.

Its very easy for wife to turn the children against their Father, especially if you are not so rich and this has been the common case..
So you wonder, is this what u suffer for from wedding ceremony, footing house bills, doing naming ceremony and training your children in schools..
Marriage issue has no solutions, what work for u ,may not work for me...
But if I will advice u, after u have tried for peace to reign, try to leave your house for peace and your health...just be taking care of your children with finances, find another lady that makes you Happy...And be happy ,before you die..
we only live once , so is just happiness is the main thing of this world, cos even if your children treated you well , your two generations to come will still forget about you..so choose happiness

Just end the marriage now, that you still have time, before it will become too late...

Your wife can never change to her normal self.
Just divorce her and both of you should take care of the children.
The same issue is happening with my dad and step mum,
Such marriage cannot be the same, no matter how hard you try to make it work.
She will keep on frustrating you.

This story is vivid enough to see that this man doesn't completely win the bread for his home coupled with having a bad woman as a wife. Maybe he even had cheated on the woman when it was the woman giving him food and winning bread for the home. Abeg man try to improve your financial capability and no dey bothered about anyone at home again if they don't bother about you.
Stay out.. Get another babe..
Maybe you're destined not to marry or not to have a happy home. Take heart find joy elsewhere .

Ladylite:


Travel unannounced, for months.

Change your number.

Work, do odd jobs if you must but come back only when she is broken and begging and crying and desperate.... Ensure she begs on phone and each of the children beg and apologize. Do not return unless you are far richer, looking better.


Then travel again just before they get used to you.


She will learn what I have learned, that your potential is unlimited and she is not responsible enough to hold you down. So it will make her humble.

no this isn't the right way to go.
If he travels and runs away,doesn't that make him more of a coward?
You don't just run away when you have issues,you look for a solution to the problem.
I totally agree with the solutions bukatyne listed.
Op should also look for someone they both respect maybe pastor or priest and ask the person to talk to his wife.


The wife's behavior is very bad,I must say but things like that don't just start one day.

From ur story, it seems u are not a responsible husband/father. That is why u can't take charge of ur home. How on earth will my wife & children whom i feed & take care of disobey me? Thier mother dares not disobey me not to talk of instigating her children to do so. Am afraid it's too late for u to take charge. The only thing left to u is to start begging ur wife since that is what u are good at.
Note: soon d youngest 2 kids u think they love will soon join there older ones in humiliating/disrespecting u.

silifx:
sorry, brother.

for me, I prefer to make enough money and then a full-time housewife. when a woman is dependent on you, they take instruction from you.

never never never let your wife share your responsibilities with you, the whole world will hear about it

100% right sir.for any relationship to work fine one has to be depending on the other these equality of a thing is not helping marriage.

Thrones:
just imagine the extent of mischief.. That is how they will frustrate him out of his home now and later call him "deadbeat".

Donno know where some people meet these kinds of rubbish women.

Very very bad

Leave the house. Don't fight it. Get another house. You cant win. If you're children come to see you they will respect your house

to marry dey fear me

Your write up made me understand you don't know the essence of manhood, and consequently, this woman has overridden you and enthroned herself as the man of the home and even turned your children against you.

I can tell you're a good man, but I really worry for your kids. See, children need a strong father figure who can help guide them through life. They need a man who instills that discipline in them to prevent them from constituting a nuisance to the society and themselves. The family unit needs a father the wife and kids understand they can't mess with, and you've failed in this regard. How the hell do you send your child to go get you water and your wife asks that child not to do so? You have to put your feet on the ground and act as the head of your home. Failure to do this, your kids will grow up to become humans lacking in that masculine discipline a father brings to the family. And we both know how those sort of kids act as adults.

As for your wife, she doesn't respect you. A woman who lacks respect for you is a woman who doesn't love you. You can't force her to love you, so don't try. If she can't perform her duties as a wife (sex and the rest), then tell her there's no reason for the marriage. She needs to understand that you are ready to walk away from her,as you've done your best to make it up to her.
In fact, the reason she treats you like trash is because she knows you won't do shiit. You need to make her understand that you are ready to walk away from her, before all hell breaks loose.

More importantly, going forward you must ensure you move in the direction that ensures you play an active role in the lives of your kids. Children need a strong father figure to help them attain that level of discipline necessary to achieve excellence. I'm not saying you should go macho on your kids, but they must understand their dad won't stand for indiscipline. And whatever that prevents you from instilling that much needed discipline in your kids, must be taken out.

Finally, if it so happens that the marriage is no more, find for yourself another woman, while playing an active role in the lives of your kids.

All the best.

Bola146:
The foundation is faulty..15 years? How come sudden change? its means and shows that you are not that friendly to your children from onset, yes! I know kids of nowadays, you can play with their intellect, even if are taking them out, bringing only happy hour for them, they will never behave like that. Only God knows maybe your wife is too depressed, she is lonely and frustrated. Your family lacks good and friendly communication from the beginning.

It takes the grace of God to amend things back to normal. Keep begging her and the children, its not a easy as that also be praying for them.

Uhm.

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Let's not bother ourselves with rigmaroles here. It's time to go ur separate ways. If u agree, let's talk.

Oga find your way or else na danger you dey as she and her kids don declare you enemy.
Anywhere you dey,find a way to dey post money for dem. After some years,
dem go know wetin dey.
First rule for life na self preservation. Anything less than this na waste of time.

Develop personal relationships with each of your kids.. Make out time to take each of them out, have an outing with the child and have a conversation with the Child. Make them open up to you, you can tell stories about your upbringing, how you respected and treated your parents well. Kids generally follow the examples we set so you have to treat them the way you want them to treat you. Tell your child how you love them always, play and find out what's going on their their lives. You have to work on having a relationship with your wife. Treat her how you want her to treat you. Make her see how much you love her, don't just tell her. Abandoning 5 kids with her for days will only sow hatred and lack of respect, learn to assert your position in the house without having to resort to arguments and let all of them see how hard you work to make them comfortable. Love your wife and don't insult her in front of the kids. Whenever you go out and buy stuff for everyone, even when u have an argument. Let your "daddy is back home" be filled with good and happy memories. Be active in your kids lives, become friends with them, so that they can tell u anything and they can form their individual opinion of you. Protect and stand up for your kids and they ll protect and standup for you.. They grow up too fast. Lastly, I don't know your religion but you have to get closer to God and bring God into your home. Have daily devotions and pray together as a family. Goodluck

Beb

DominusPrime:
There's something you aren't telling us. Is it just cheating that made your wife like this or there's more? I feel you have really hurt that woman somehow even though your story doesn't seem complete

No matter how hurt she is, he has knelt down to apologise what else does she want. He should leave the house for her for 3 to 5months and her head will reset or rather send her to her family. If she refused. Trick her that you are visiting home together. Drop her with her family and tell them to train there daughter, her head will reset. Don't fall for those advise

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

You married a bad wife.

You never enforced or asserted your position as the head of your home

She has corrupted the first three

Your only saving grace is your last two children. Focus your love, care on them. Lavish genuine love on them.
Once they grow with that deep love for you, irrespective of whatever there mother tells them, they will still always love you.



This exactly happened to a very wealthy man I know from the East.
His wife was controlling all his children.
These where kids that did from primary school to university overseas through the largeese and wealth of there father.


A point came, the man couldn't take it anymore. He married another woman and presently, the woman has given him three children, he is even richer now, with so much assets. And he has willed everything to the new wife with her children.


Women are very powerful
If you marry good one
She will ensure her children are loyal to you
But if you marry the bad one
She will turn your children against you
It's happening in very many homes.

yeyeosoronga:
While you were too busy with your concubines, fire was burning under your roof.
You weren't there for your older children when they probably needed you the most as you were busy spending your time and money with your opekes.
You better don't make the same mistake with the younger ones.
The older ones seem to have given up on you. and have learnt how not to rely on you because you've probably let them down in the past with your absence. They didnt even care you were away dead or alive for 3 whole days.
Anyway, my advice for you is to work on your children one on one.
Let them get to know you individually. Start taking your eldest child with you when you go out, and ask him/her to escort you so you get to spend individual time together. Do same for the others, and don't spend time with them all together but individually till you are able to earn their trust again before you start spending time all together.
It's a long journey, which you can still redeem yourself before your children.
Don't let them see a father that abandons his children for 3 days because he is angry at their mother, don't let them see a father that comes home drunk, don't let them see a father that puts his concubines needs above theirs.
Ask them to come directly to you if they need anything, give them pocket money weekly (yes, the older ones will have some minor needs. It doesn't have to be a lot. Even if it is 500naira for data)
Beating the older ones at this stage will only further alienate them from you, as that ship has long sailed.
Good luck as you make amends with your children. At least give it your best shot.
Unfortunately, your marriage is dead. I'm not sure if you have the energy to revive it, but if you have wronged your wife apologise and ask her what she wants. A divorce to end the misery for both of you or another go at the marriage.

this advise is the key..get it done ASAP