₦airaland Forum

Ezemust:
Me wey dey fear snake naim i come go my inlaw house as we dey inside naim we come dey hear people dey shout snake o snake o.instead wey i go jump window naim i come dey form man at home.i cum rush go find stick nd as i dey fear de doam i no notice say d stick wey i carry no strong.na so i come rush hit snake with all my pawa naim d stick come brake nd i come fall ontop d snake.na so i just shiit 4 bodi.my inlaws just dey luk me

brainhgeek:
..so, I was siting next to the Pastor's roll for that vigil. Everywhere was so quiet save for the preacher's gentle voice. Then came this moment when one Kain demonic breeze blew that made me doze off for few seconds. The next thing I heard was a thunderous sound that shook my chair and overshadowed even the voice of the preacher using microphone. Brethren and sistren in the Lord, I farted!
I couldn't deny it. It was so thunderous that it was the vibration that deported me from dream Land. I couldn't run out of the church, I was almost at the front roll. I couldn't enter the ground, I couldn't lift my head up. The preacher became silent and the once silent congregation erupted into murmuring and laughter.
I waited till it was time for people to start binding their village people in prayers. I jejely sneaked out and located one pathmos where no one could trace me. Immediately the vigil was over, I didn't wait till day break, I sneaked out of the church like a thief.
The trauma of that shame is s hunting me till date. I can drink one #300 coffee anytime I am going for vigil.

Silas6:
This morning as i wan comot 4 house, i wear my tight Jean and I no too like to dey wear boxer under tight jean, cuz e no dey give me joy. So as usual, i no wear boxer or pant, just my tight jean.
Rain fall well well for Ikoyi this morning and una know as Island be, water everywhere...everybody dey find where to hide make rain no touch dem...i see one bank Atm shade for the other side of the road, na dia people stay and space still dey.
But water dey infront of the place so you go need walk down the end of the water to cross the water...me sef bin wan walk to the end of the water oh...naso i see say na fine fine girls dey inside the ATM place...e go make sense if fine boy like me jump the water instead now. Actually, the water no too wide, na something wey person fit jump but nobody just wan take the risk...me i go take am, if i jump am, this fine girls go trip..
Naso i move backwards small....the babes dey look me, me sef cut eye for them come lick lips...i move back well well...come run..as i reach the water, naso i spread leg finish take jump...na ontop the water i dey when i hear Kpraaaaaaa!..my brothers and sisters, i hear kpraaaaaaaa!!!!
...i think say na clap people dey clap for me say i jump wella, my head swell...i spread legs wider..i come notice say fresh air dey enter my body from under, both front and back....i look down see Lagidigbo Akanni Outside dey sing Rain Rain go away...What is your problem u this preeq, did i buy you nursery rhymes book.
E tear reach back, my yansh black well well for under light..i no even know which one to cover, front or back and My people, i use hand hold my problem front and back...come fall yakata inside water siddon dia oh... � � �
...these babes dey look me dey laugh..why do bad things happen to the good ones? ....I need a towel
...Mooomooo Miii
How i wan even take off am give tailor sew?
. Heaven i need a hug ooooo!

SwagPower:
...Watch your health though..That much coffee might be harmful in the long run..

OlawaleBammie:
Shuu!! Like are u just resuming home since morning?
U lives in Lagos?
Is ur work dat tym consuming??

MissJoy29:
No for all questions.
Even when I'm off duty, I'm still busy.

Ishilove:
Trust me, I'm not. You were probably still in primary school or JSS class when I was in 100 level.

Ade24682:
Back in camp. We were doing that man o war drilling, that part where you all had to climb high rope. Na so my khaki trouser tear for middle, Mumu boxer didn’t help, all the girls saw my **** as everyone was standing under waiting for their turn.
That day messed up camp till I left.

NobleAngell:
Huh?! Who Are You?

bilulu:
I am me.... from Apo

NobleAngell:
Name, pls... or at least a clue.

Vivonose:
Lol...when I was sleeping in church,and they asked divorcee's to stand up,that's how ur single sister stood up.lol,and my brother quietly pushed me to sit down, meanwhile my mum and other members in church were starring at me in wonder...

Dagger111:
When i was in SS2 around 2007, i was sent to buy #500 MTN recharge card by my dad. So i went to a nearby Cafe to get airtel instead of MTN, i did it deliberately. The lady gave me the card, while on road, been that i jst got a phone with airtel sim, i decided to look the recharge card underneath smartly without removing the pin. I did it successfully, copied the numbers and loaded it. Then i return to the lady and said the person said MTN nt Airtel, seeing the card that it was intact and unpinned, she gave me MTN and i went back to gv my dad. Few days later, my dad send me another #500 card, i went to same place in aim of repeating same fraudulent act, as i gv the lady the money, publicly in the cafe, she shouted; that's the money of the last recharge card u came to buy which u loaded and returned empty paper. I wanted the ground to open, so i could enter bt no way. I have to start begging money at the road side to get another recharge card for my dad, it was an embarrassing one i won't lie.

mumu9gerian:
Thats not embarrassing , its the consequence of thinking u were smart.
I hope you have stopped such terrible acts

Dagger111:
Lolz. Yes o.

Ishilove:
Year 1, undergrad. I was forming sisi eko and refused to wear my medicated glasses. I was....

DriggityDre:
Ishilove, Forgive me o

Dagger111:
When i was in SS2 around 2007, i was sent to buy #500 MTN recharge card by my dad. So i went to a nearby Cafe to get airtel instead of MTN, i did it deliberately. The lady gave me the card, while on road, been that i jst got a phone with airtel sim, i decided to look the recharge card underneath smartly without removing the pin. I did it successfully, copied the numbers and loaded it. Then i return to the lady and said the person said MTN nt Airtel, seeing the card that it was intact and unpinned, she gave me MTN and i went back to gv my dad. Few days later, my dad send me another #500 card, i went to same place in aim of repeating same fraudulent act, as i gv the lady the money, publicly in the cafe, she shouted; that's the money of the last recharge card u came to buy which u loaded and returned empty paper. I wanted the ground to open, so i could enter bt no way. I have to start begging money at the road side to get another recharge card for my dad, it was an embarrassing one i won't lie.

BKsoul:
no wonder.... It has been in the blood, you graduated from stealing to full armed robber, criminal claiming army. Dem go gun you down ni.

donstan18:
I've got many, but I'll tell one.

During my 100lvl registration then in school. Any graduate or student can relate how stressful, tiring and crowded it use to be doing registrations.

It was so sunny that very day with crowd of freshers everywhere, i got tired at some point and decided to get some rest under a tree. Unbuttoned the first two buttons of my long sleeve shirt for air while getting some rest

Some minutes later, a very big yellow-headed lizard fell from the tree and found its way inside my singlet[Singlet was tucked in my jeans], I screamed so high and got the attention of 99% of students there, while trying to make way for lizard by pulling my singlet from my jean, I ended up opening another way for the lizard to jump inside my boxer. At that moment, I shouted and nervously got confused that I couldn't differentiate my prick from the lizard in my boxer because both of them were dangling and dancing around as I was screaming and rehearsing makossa dance in public, jumping around the tree shouting and behaving like a mad man. People couldn't help because they don't know how to, rather, some were laughing and shouting in amusement.

As God had it, i successfully dragged the lizard out, it jumped out, nodded its head and was there looking at me like a fool instead of running, out of anger of embarrassment, I chased the lizard with my tattered clothes and ended up falling down while the lizard escaped. People were laughing as I was, just so FVCKING EMBARRASSED and PISSED that I was so ashamed to even stand and clean my cloth.

Fortunately, two ladies from the crowd stepped forward, helped me picked my scattered files and cleaned my clothes[Thou they were smiling and laughing while helping], and I had to laugh too in shame.

Nna eh! I just jejely gather morale waka comot, find okada begin dey go my lodge

Registration no be by force!!