₦airaland Forum

Dpaulie:
You are not in marriage but in bondage bro... fire her!!!!

Please tell him

noakchukibadan:
. Well, thanks for the advice, maybe I forgot to say that she places huge importance on birthdays, for her I must throw a party, every year for 7 years, and she can not even remember mine. Just to say happy birthday ?

Please sir divorce her as soon as possible.....Life they say begins at 40 and you're 41 with high blood pressure which you developed from the marriage you're still too young to get worried over irrelevant issues only the creator knows what you'll develop by the time you get old that's if you're still married to her....consider the future of your children they was to see their father happy not dead divorce her and go to your home town let your people find a sensible down to earth lady and remarry you'll be glad you made this decision

Life is too short man , if you try to make things changes and they are not changing . Baba you need enjoy your life .

Both of you have issues and need to work on yourselves. I could deduce this from what you said about the birthday present she got you. Someone took the pain to get you a present and you rejected it on the grounds that it was three days late. That could be very hurtful ( rejection). The you left ii in the parlor and was expecting her to bring again to you in the room. Is she a magician to know you were ready ro accept it now? Then You picked offence because she didn't bring it. Who's at fault here? You. I mean...even if the gift came late, it still better than never.

One needs to hear from her to be able to advise accordingly. As for her malice keeping attitude, thats a no no.

You guys should try and act mature and learn to overlook some trivial things.

Do not divorce her. Instead, show her you're bigger than all that childish act. You're the head.take charge and begin to act like one.

Cosyfaith:
Please if you can't long to come home, then what you have isn't a marriage but battlefield. Life is too short to go through so much suffering and die before your time. I doubt the forever God meant applies to this generation, we are just far out of it. Seek counseling, if it didn't work, please leave as soon as you can. Get Divorced please and enjoy your life.

can you marry a divorcee?

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Divorce her. No be by force.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Look for one Better girl wey go dey keep you company,na that one you go dey take diffuse tension.
I can't shout

Eulalia:
Both of you have issues and need to work on yourselves. I could deduce this from what you said about the birthday present she got you. Someone took the pain to get you a present and you rejected it on the grounds that it was three days late. That could be very hurtful ( rejection). The you left in the parlor and was expecting to bring again to you in the room. Is she a magician to know you were ready ro accept it now? Then You picked offense because she didn't bring it. Who's at fault here? You. I mean...even if the gift came late, it still better than never.

One needs to hear from her to be able to advise accordingly. As for her malice keeping attitude, thats a no no.

You guys should try and act mature and learn to overlook some trivial things.

Do not divorce her. Instead, show her you're bigger than all that childish act. You're the head.take charge and begin to act like one.

AWON FEMINIST... Na Dem

Go on a break man, women don't value what they have until they lose it

enemyofprogress:
must you quote the guy before writing one and half lines?

you are right. I stand to be corrected. I admit I erred. I will take note

noakchukibadan:
Hmmmmm, I have done most things, for 8 years , I do not think she has apologized more than 3 times on any issue. Like I said I have prayed, and fasted. I have cried, and begged.

Permit me to say there could be an item in the mix you haven't considered: Infidelity

For your wife not to care about you could mean her attention is somewhere else.

Baffupdrizz:
Okay Mr. Educated,

You think this is about how exposed you are!
And that the lady is being disrespectful. Can't you read between then lines to know that there are two sides to this story?

ohh! Sorry for the rude response I was angered by his plight seriously I can relate to his pains I apologise

elyte89:
U av been surviving b4 u met her...so IGNORE HER COMPLETELY and live ur life...simple

that's an intelligent & manly decision.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Divorce her in your heart.
Dont chase her away from your home, but dont bother about her for atleast 5 straight Month and see if she didnt change.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Oga Divorce that woman. Please please please.. before one young man go give her morale to poison your food. The way shes behaving she might even have extramarital affairs and you wont know. Rather when u annoy her and she comes back late maybe, you start begging her to let go sef.. Hian!! what has africa turned to? Most of the women here telling you to manage might not be different from her. Inside their mind as they type, dem go say you never see anything. If you are very rich, ild give you an advice.. Build a new 3 Bedroom flat, pack your things little by little without her suspecting. One day, move your kids too and change their schools. Get your mum to come stay with you or your single sibling if you have one. Watch her cry and cry and cry. She go see say some men too na slow poison. Make man no dey where him dey love woman go chop poison weh 32 year old boy give her to put for your food. Ive seen many rich men die this way it has happened to my fathers elder brother and his wife is presently in Prison, but the man don die go. People beg am not to marry, big breast make am dey talk say na small pikin dey do her.. she would change.. now where is he?

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.

he can't divorce because he married in the church?
Same church that gave wrong counselling??
So he should remain in captivity of negativity because of church.....lol

Op , you need a girlfriend.
This will make you to careless about you wife's attitude. When you careless, she will change

frozen70:
If you can't stand her any longer, you have to go for a divorce and you can't be living in the same roof and be talking about divorce

Alternatively, ignore her and stay happy by over looking her silly attitudes

You are too young a man to develop BP because of emotional torture and depression

Get a friend and relax your self with your friend if you find happiness in her and let her know everything

If it happens that you want to marry her, team up with your family

Op don't follow this advice. You are too young to develop BP. If you can talk to the pastor that unit both of you maybe she will respect him. Op do don't fornicate or commit adultery, that one as a married man is not good.

I hope it's married persons giving you advice.

Millenniumlady:
Please sir divorce her as soon as possible.....Life they say begins at 40 and you're 41 with high blood pressure which you developed from the marriage you're still too young to get worried over irrelevant issues only the creator knows what you'll develop by the time you get old that's if you're still married to her....consider the future of your children they was to see their father happy not dead divorce her and go to your home town let your people find a sensible down to earth lady and remarry you'll be glad you made this decision

pls expatiate on life beginning at 40.

williams85:
AWON FEMINIST... Na Dem

How does my comment connote "feminism"? please don't ever describe me with such. I'm not!

noakchukibadan:
Hmmmmm, I have done most things, for 8 years , I do not think she has apologized more than 3 times on any issue. Like I said I have prayed, and fasted. I have cried, and begged.

Husband man, you didn't mention anything like love from your post. Do you love your wife the way she wanted to be loved or just the way you think .? Search yourself.
As for me i won't advise you to divorce her because i didn't know her side of the story.
Love her, listen to her, stop ranting, stop reporting her, fix your home, don't ask anyone what to do because deep inside of you, you already know what to do. Shallom

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

There are only two ways out of that conundrum , death or divorce. My marriage was exactly like yours and I was 41 when I supposed to divorce her but because I was claiming I don't want divorce, I allowed her to continue her uncontrollable behaviour till it lead to what would have taken my life. Fortunately for me , God was on my side and she fell sick in 2018 and later died last year. Once a woman doesn't love you , she sees you as a hindrance and an enemy and when she has the opportunity to eliminate you , she would do it with all Joy. Forget she has children with you oooo, women don't reason that.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

You don't need any advice, divorce that woman that all.

So who's happier, this married guy or a person married to either a soap or a vibrator?

Marriage is beautiful but can become chaotic when you have a bad partner



Or










When you are the bad partner.



I'm sure Reverend Fathers and Nuns are living a happier life than OP.

believe me if u don't divorce her u will die before ur time ,if all these things u said are truth I will advice u to let her go u are a gud man u deserve d best ,or better still gv her some distance act like u don't care anymore and see her reaction , I assure u in any decision u take she will b d one to regret it ,who kbwcif she is even planing to kill u and flock Wit her side guys this babes don't hv joy at all

Women loves you more when you are nut and hard on them.. When she don't fear you, don't even expect respect and appreciations from her.. So, when you cry for her, beg and kneel for her like a woman, she takes you as pussy..

yea, another one again. looking for marriage counselling on social media. people will just be looking for confusion to add to their already confused mind and situations. why not talk the first pastor that told u every thing was going to be fine? or ur current pastor or marriage counsellor than bring ur marital issue her? it really appear u dont value ur marriage.

Bro i feel for you men, you should have taken to your heels when you realized she didn't grow up with her dad.

I was in your shoe years back the girl had bad character and showed it in a subtle way, pastors and counselors mentioned she will change once we there.
But when I realized she has no regard for family values nah me pick race, years after we broke up she still single.

LordKO:
Ọ dị ka ị nyere spambot ihe iri ngo, o wepụrụ azịza m nye gị ụnyaahụ ma machibido m iwu. LOL.

No, at least not formally. I'm, however, seasoned because it's part of my hobby and part of few other innate things that I passively practice. . .  . I don't think that I know so much though.

Eyaaaaa....Ndo o?

You have it in you.
Keep it up.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

u r drowning, thank God the water has not reached ur mouth.that is why u can talk now.save urself so that u can give a testimony.swim to the other side.

So sorry, how good it is to marry a wife who loves one more.

For her to apologize before you got married, it means she is aware of her wrongs.

This is where one will appreciate Islam/polygamy.
Because, by the time she realises that you have plans of marrying a second wife...her brain will reset.

I pray, may God give you a good health and may God change her soon - for good.