₦airaland Forum

Toks2008:
She will out grow it.
Just continue to be nice and forget divorce for the sake of the kids.

See bro. No marriage is perfect. You can marry another lady and reAlize that her own wahala is a child's play.

he is the only one in the marriage. Let him be single abeg

You may wait and part peacefully, when you will be forgotten inside six feet bellow, with your siblings left to mourn you. I wonder why some men choose to be goats to their wives. Did the Bible command that you eat your wife's poo instead of a separation from her wickedness?

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

Nigeria women. Why do you think abuse is only when someone hits you? You Nigerian women will go on and on verbally and emotionally abusing a man but you don't see it as abuse. Can't you see that the man said he was diagnosed of high blood pressure already. This was caused by the verbal and emotional abuse he has being subjected to by the wife.

If the man hits the wife now, you all will crawl out from your hypocritical hole and start screaming abuse. Nigerian women born after 1980 irritate me

Talib2803:
Bros, with due respect sir, you said you were diagnosed HBP 2 years ago.
I must say your still being alive with that kind of woman in your house is by GOD'S infinite grace.
If u know u want to live longer, pls find your way out of that marriage.
Flee from the marriage sharp sharp,because if u die today, she will move on with her life.

Gbam. Some men sef. U are passing tru all these and u still call her your wife. Since u are stupid enough not to know what to do, let me tell u... Pack ur essential things, go rent another flat. Then on a good morning, just walk outa the house. That way, no one will accuse u of sending your wife away. If u see her on your doorstep, give her a very sound slap and bang your door. She won't come near u again.

Marrying a woman who is
estranged from her father & father's
people is always a problem.


such women lack morals & are
difficult to submit to a man.


Your marriage is a dead end,
remaining in it will take your life.


Cut your loses & end it.

enemyofprogress:
I admire your kind of person. Come make I buy you beer and find you one babe for tonight as take away

thank you so much

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Pathetic excuse for a man at ur age..grow some balls oga..my gf dares not forget my birthday let alone fiance let alone WIFE..

I always tell me friends, I believe in divorce,I can't kill myself just because we have kids in the marriage.
If I try all my best and thing still remain the same, abeg pack and go.

The foundation is always problem, guys tend to over look a lot of things due to love but they always forget that love is never enough.

Op, the decision is yours to make.

Have been married for 5 years and we are blessed with two children, the truth is, you married a total stranger, why didn't you make your findings before marrying her, why did you allow your emotions to control your sense of reasoning, don't you know that many people are invited for the ceremony, you live with your problem. I don't even know my wife's birthday and i didn't bother to ask her, because that is not a priority in my marriage, as a father, my family's welfare is my priority and not birthday. When you were courting her, why didn't you ask after her father and uncles, why didn't tell her to take you to her father?
You jump into marriage, you can't jump out, remember you have children, do you want them to also end up like their mother?
Live with your problem, don't divorce her.

What you need is a Christian marriage counselor or coach who is not familiar to the both of you and can frankly speak the truth to you and your wife sir.


I know this could be a very painful situation especially at this time in the country.

If you still want the marriage to work, I would beg you to still put a little effort as divorce is not an option in a Christian marriage.

BY the grace of God my husband and I have been enjoying our marriage that's because we have God and we have a family mentor/coucellor (FAMILY BOOSTER MINISTRY) who we can seek help from when the need arises.

FAMILY BOOSTER MINISTRY is an interdenominational ministry dedicated to help families/marriages not only to remain but to enjoy their marriages.

Send this same message that you sent to nairaland to askbisiadewale@gmail.com

God Bless you.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Ishow7:
I totally disagree with you. Marraige is not equal to manage it rather marriage = sacrifice and effort from both parties but its obvious based on the op narration that it's one sided. And with the medical condition, he needs to quit before he becomes a once upon a time.

from BOTH PARTIES? which nigeria do you live in?

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HOW OUR GIRLS ARE EXPECTING MEN TO DO ALL THE SPENDING THESE DAYS?

NO MARRIAGE IS WORTH DYING FOR..... Life was simpler 20 years ago... NOT TODAY.

Government, Work, Business, School..... has given us ENOUGH STRESS.... THEN MARRIAGE THAT SHOULD BRING REST gives another one again... ABEG IT IS NOT BY FORCE

Dude, I feel for you. I will go straight to that point.

1. Your wife feels she is superior and may be possessed unknowingly and may belong to Egbe Orun.

2. You are not a weak man, you have good spirit.

3. The pragmatic solutions here is to stop seeking her
affection and attention. Get a female friend ( think of those your old female friends you had good rapport with growing up), divert those energy towards your female friends.

4. Don’t have sex with her again henceforth. Break the spiritual hold ... gradually her grip over you will wear off.

5. Focus on your inner self for re-birth, cleansing of your troubled soul .... listen to music that make you dance a lot as kid, to bring back your joyful youthful memories ... positive energy

6. Avoid argument and confrontation with her to maintain your health and BP

7. Focus on your job / enroll in an online course that will help your career.

8. I will not encourage it .. but start flirting with ladies to get your mojo back..

Don’t pay evil back with evil ... stay clean and be good.

Ekun ti o rin bi ole ... ko kin Shey ti O jo...

Olodumare a gbe’o

My 2 Cents

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Sir please look at how beautiful your life should've been without her troubles, it's time you tell yourself the bitter truth, she's killing you slowly. If you die today, she's gonna mourn for a month or two, maybe three..buh guess what? Her life fvcking moves on, she's gonna get married again, and you have died and decayed.

Please Divorce and don't let your emotions cloud ur judgement. Na once dm deh bear the pain to press boil burst.


My opinion

Na Ekiti woman be that.

Ekiti means divide.

Eulalia:
Both of you have issues and need to work on yourselves. I could deduce this from what you said about the birthday present she got you. Someone took the pain to get you a present and you rejected it on the grounds that it was three days late. That could be very hurtful ( rejection). The you left ii in the parlor and was expecting her to bring again to you in the room. Is she a magician to know you were ready ro accept it now? Then You picked offence because she didn't bring it. Who's at fault here? You. I mean...even if the gift came late, it still better than never.

One needs to hear from her to be able to advise accordingly. As for her malice keeping attitude, thats a no no.

You guys should try and act mature and learn to overlook some trivial things.

Do not divorce her. Instead, show her you're bigger than all that childish act. You're the head.take charge and begin to act like one.

Mtcheeeewww!

[quote author=bukatyne post=89149605]You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.
[/quote




Best advice so far

This one really got me. As a man like yourself, you deserve to be happy in life. You have only one life to live. I know the type of your wife. I nearly married one like that, she was more stubborn than stubborn grass and never apologized for anything. I thanked God that I drove her away.

Pls and pls, do the needful. You will be fine!

noakchukibadan:
Hmmmmm, I have done most things, for 8 years , I do not think she has apologized more than 3 times on any issue. Like I said I have prayed, and fasted. I have cried, and begged.

ikh777:
IF THIS WHOLE STORY IS TRUE, Then sir, you have tried. you need a clean break.

BAD CHARACTER is like TOOTHACHE... you may have to remove the tooth.

See, the pastor and family deceived you. This is why I hate how marriage is done in Africa, THEY LIE TO SINGLES CLAIMING AFTER MARRIAGE TILL WILL GET BETTER only to marry then they start preaching to you to MANAGE.

In NIGERIA, MARRIAGE = MANAGING.

So, I can not say it is a spiritual matter, but with all you have said I feel you should prayerfully divorce her. And move on with your life lest you die early of HBP.

Just advice,which one is of its true. All ur advise tO me is useless

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Guy your problem is probably because you married a woman that you love more than she loves you...
That said, it's also good you've accepted responsibility that you noticed these red flags ab initio and still made your choice.

You just need to accept the choice you've made. I also think perhaps you sound like someone who perhaps may be pity sometimes. Check yourself properly and ensure you're not even the one that nags. Come on guy, you said money isn't a problem, go out with the boys and catch yourself some fun and she'll be the one looking for you.
Stop bordering yourself too much over what she does or doesn't do and she'd start wondering what the heck's going on.
In all, be the man, ensure you discharge your responsibilities and give your wife some break.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

1. LEARN TO CONTROL EMOTION OR RATHER IGNORE
2. LISTEN ONLY IN THAT HOUSE AND DONT COMMENT OR AFTER LISTENING CHANGE TOPIC TO AVOID PROBLEMS
3. MAKE YOUR WORD BRIEF AND FRIENDLY BUT FIRM.
4. SPICE THINGS UP BY CREATING THINGS THAT WILL BRING BACK LOVE. EACH DAY DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. LET HER BARB YOUR HAIR. SECOND DAY PLAY CARD OR LUDO. THIRD DAY GO TAKE PEPPER SOUP AND BOTH GET DRUNK. NEXT DAY BUY A MOVIE AND WATCH IT AT HOME TOGETHER...... LIKE THAT AND THAT....EACH DAY. YOU DONT HAVE TO SPEND MUCH TO HAVE A THRILL
BUT IN ALL DONT FORGET 1. 2. 3.

ceeceeuwa:
I feel sorry for you! Your home is where you should be longing to come to after a hectic day at work. But the reverse us the case for you. Your spouse should be your best friend... But according to you ahe is not and neither is she willing to change for the better. To cron it all you are tending towards hypertension. Th ball us in your court. Sincerly from your heart if i may ask, what do you want to do?

He said he wants divorce......

Divorce her straight away. If you give up the ghost (God forbid) she will continue her crazy and garrulous life.

Eulalia:
Both of you have issues and need to work on yourselves. I could deduce this from what you said about the birthday present she got you. Someone took the pain to get you a present and you rejected it on the grounds that it was three days late. That could be very hurtful ( rejection). The you left ii in the parlor and was expecting her to bring again to you in the room. Is she a magician to know you were ready ro accept it now? Then You picked offence because she didn't bring it. Who's at fault here? You. I mean...even if the gift came late, it still better than never.

One needs to hear from her to be able to advise accordingly. As for her malice keeping attitude, thats a no no.

You guys should try and act mature and learn to overlook some trivial things.

Do not divorce her. Instead, show her you're bigger than all that childish act. You're the head.take charge and begin to act like one.

Out of all he said, you only picked the part you felt he was wrong!! criticized him there then went on to say trash. you want the victim to act matured in the face of oppression. you view reeks all shades of bias.

OGA divorce her

and Go for who ll give u peace of mind

u re too gud to be in an uncaring marriage with such person

plz check my signature

newdawn2017:
See my brother, u re with a Narcissistic bitch. This is a case of where d man is d victim. U will bitterly pay dearly should u continue to remain in such marriage, get ur kids & get away from such a an emotionally abusive marriage. Leave d play ground, she ain't never gonna change for no one. Narcissists got no love for not d children of their womb just incase some one here will say y take d kids from her. Here is my ig handle, u will read more there @afriproud3

Correct!

Sailor22:
Just advice,which one is of its true. All ur advise tO me is useless

same to you. You could have advised him better rather than face me and give your needless opinion

Dear poster, call me on 09072720820. I can help

Madam, it's only in Africa they are managing marriage. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not to be endured.

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.

funmisticqueen2:
he is the only one in the marriage. Let him be single abeg

I kinda understand his angle.

Finance is okay!!! that is the main problem. Some women cannot control their ego, when their is too much fund/ food in their care they beging to behave anyhow... Maybe you have been giving her too much money and their is too much food in the house that is the only reason your wife will keep malice with you for that long, Anytime she misbehaves, don't give her any money and make sure their is food in the house but buy snacks for kids only

Poorboy:
if your issues cannot be sloved through comments here on nairaland when it hits front-page, nobody in the world not just Nigeria that can solve that issue.

Just know that today....

Eeeeeeeeeehn?
So Nigerians are born automatically with the gift of guidance and councilling? Tell me more about your people...what if all the solutions you guys prescribed to the dudes were rong but you guys were busy criticizing adesina and abba... I shake my head.