₦airaland Forum

DateMynd44:
sleep don really hold this one

its 7;50 pm here

lefulefu:
its 7;50 pm here

where

OKOATA:
Your wife is an evil monster that should be treated as trash and neglected forever and let her fuvk off. Keep managing till you die of HBP and am sure she’s even waiting for that. If you have her name as your next of kin change it, if it’s a joint account remove her name from it, anything joint this joint that remove her name from it, stop begging and crying, I even hate it when a woman cry’s and begs me because I find it irritating, since the first time you started crying and begging like a little child she took advantage of you, what you don’t know is that women hate men that cry and beg, it was my own mother that told me this. Stop prostrating before a woman, stop kneeling and begging a woman, I swear that thing is irritating like shiit. My advice to you is to just end this evil marriage, you said you developed HPB and you are still managing. A man did the same in my area and he died while driving his in car, the woman he left behind is sleeping around like a dog now. Separate from this evil witch you call a wife, let her be since it’s glaring she doesn’t love you anymore, focus on yourself and your health, go to the gym, eat healthy, make enough female friends and am not saying you should start sleeping around but if you find a woman around, hang out with your friends and families. About her birthday fuvk her day and May she burn in Hell. Any man that treats a woman like egg bet it they don’t appreciate and am sure she’s even cheating on you with a real man that’s she no send you. You need to start acting like a real man bro. Woman hate simple men, men that are too nice but if we keep telling men they say women are golden, women are eggs bla bla bla, Free that demon you called a wife, she deserves no mercy. Don’t listen to those people telling you to manage her like that bla bla bla, I can bet she won’t change and you will keep doing the same thing over and over till you die of HPB. Bro she’s not the only woman in the world o, there are still good women out there o. A word is enough for the wise.

its obvious dem force the woman marry op.from the way op described marriage she is not also happy in the marriage

Has she ever told u, u bhav like a woman?
You really do whine like a sissy.
Take charge of ur home
Be a man not a weak man

DateMynd44:
where

dominica island

lefulefu:
dominica island

southern America?

If you aren't willing to try Bukatyne's approach within the marriage, then I think you know the answer.
It's time to cut free and then do the things that Bukatyne suggests, after the marriage.
Good luck.

DateMynd44:
southern America?

no north america.its dominican republic that is located in southern america

lefulefu:
no north america.its dominican republic that is located in southern america

yeah I thought as much. My gf or should I say Ex is studying over there

DateMynd44:
yeah I thought as much. My gf or should I say Ex is studying over there

did u say ex? bro u better try and get her back oo ..she is an asset

The last two lines is the final LEAVE THAT MARRIAGE you will get.
I'm from Benue State and I hereby disown that woman. Your family needs you alive bro.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

[s]

solmusdesigns:
i can bet my balls the lady is from ekiti... crazy fayose people, stuborn like mad... one almost killed me with this wahala until I ran away, and the sad part is they don't do all this to hurt you, its just their useless strong head

[/s]

If all you've said was true, bro, then I'd suggest you call the marriage quit so you don't die prematurely. From your narration, it is clear your wife has attitude problems : -haughty, disrespectful. Have you ever tried to find out why she possesses such unwholesome attitudes? What triggered her to walk such a path? There's gotta be a reason. Good luck, bro.

dotungoke:
People with good background won't subscribe to divorce, they will work out their differences, so I don't blame you.

Good background my foot. Keep deceiving yourself with good background and be living a miserable life in a relationship that is not working out. Nonsense!

OGA, divorce dis woman or u die before ur time

Edosir:
The worst is they don't accept excuses from others. Always right people

its crazy mehn...

We can deduce from your epistle that your woman is from Ekiti. They are hard headed and at times irrational.

1. Commit yourself in prayer to the Lord Jesus.
2. Initiate daily morning prayer and daily verse reading in your home no matter the misunderstanding between you.
3. Never miss a day of morning prayer
4. Use the period to patiently discuss issues with her and everyday hug her and tell her you love her.

You will eventually begin see the changes.

God help you as you do.

If you are have not committed your life to Jesus Christ yet, please say this short prayer.

Almighty God, creator of all things, i recognize and agree that you gave your only son Jesus Christ to die for my sins so that I and my house will be reconciled to you forever through your blood which cleanses us.

Now lord here I am, cleanse me and my household, come into my life and take full control of my heart, my soul and my household in Jesus holy name
Amen.

Congratulations as you begin daily devotion with your family.
God bless, favour and honor you
Amen

ikh777:
IF THIS WHOLE STORY IS TRUE, Then sir, you have tried. you need a clean break.

BAD CHARACTER is like TOOTHACHE... you may have to remove the tooth.

See, the pastor and family deceived you. This is why I hate how marriage is done in Africa, THEY LIE TO SINGLES CLAIMING AFTER MARRIAGE TILL WILL GET BETTER only to marry then they start preaching to you to MANAGE.

In NIGERIA, MARRIAGE = MANAGING.

So, I can not say it is a spiritual matter, but with all you have said I feel you should prayerfully divorce her. And move on with your life lest you die early of HBP.

Seems she is the one from Ekiti, very stubborn, strongheaded people... Just like the father that refused to allow his son stay and the son that used stronghead to travel when popsi told him to stay in Lagos. Oga as per advice, you said for better or worse, Mr man handle ya wife. Abuse her back, emotionally, mentally and verbally(I for say physically but the law is against that) then she go know say khaki no be leather and craze pass craze, she will either ask for mediation with a sincere heart or she will call it quits, either way you are better of.

andyanders:
You nailed it here. Op too has got an attitude problem himself. Why complain about Birthday issue and when she got one and presented to him, he never appreciated it 'cus she didn't get it done when he wanted it.

Op, u knew her character b4 getting married. Try live with it since u don't fight each other. No 2 perfect people on the face of this earth.

Abeg park well Odoyo

follow my advice pick your best clothes and necessary luggages go and lodge at an hotel.... till you can rent a house... find another woman and marry for god sake.....you can Continue putting up with her if you wish to die young.......what i stated up here is for the kind-hearted kind of man you are.



if na me they in this kind of situation i will send her away without pin from my house and marry 3 more wives and I'll make sure she doesn't leave with my children... we'll settle that in court

Did you read the post at all?

kodix:
Sorry my dear but honestly you have to over look some many things to make your marriage work,there is no perfect person you don't even know whom you will get next, don't attach so much important in so many small thing(e.g just know she is not a birthday person,not carrying grudges that she don't use to rem it),always forgive, don't act quarellsomely for e.g not accepting her gift BC ur birthday escape her mind,why will you even reject her gift expecting her to beg u b4 collecting it,Are you God! You're even the cause of some of your problems with her,learn how to appreciate and complain less,ignore so many things no body is perfect.all the best.

kodix:
Sorry my dear but honestly you have to over look some many things to make your marriage work,there is no perfect person you don't even know whom you will get next, don't attach so much important in so many small thing(e.g just know she is not a birthday person,not carrying grudges that she don't use to rem it),always forgive, don't act quarellsomely for e.g not accepting her gift BC ur birthday escape her mind,why will you even reject her gift expecting her to beg u b4 collecting it,Are you God! You're even the cause of some of your problems with her,learn how to appreciate and complain less,ignore so many things no body is perfect.all the best.

I tire o. The OP seems to me like a nagging man even from his one-sided account. Whining on and on about birthday.

Finance been okay can only make you comfortable but will NEVER give you Peace of Mind.

You need your peace my brother, I'm not am advocate for divorce but I will advise you to SEPARATE from her to get your sanity back and peace. Plan your your exist!

From your story that woman will never give you peace, I have personally come across people like that..


You need to stay alike for the sake of your kids and general family.

Shegzy8:
This one pass suru!! you be mumu (no pun intended). you worse pass op.

The reason I said i have seen more than that. Let me tell you something, God works in a way we don't understand. I see it as a way of God using her to refine my meekness virtue. Like what happened about pounded yam and bottled water some men would have been fighting, but meekness would make you ignore her and move on.

Clearly you've given her too much attention and some women tend to misuse that.
Act like she doesn't exist in the house if she doesn't notice your change in behavior and decides to change then you atop acting and make it real witha clean nice DIVORCE!!!

OKOATA:
Your wife is an evil monster that should be treated as trash and neglected forever and let her fuvk off. Keep managing till you die of HBP and am sure she’s even waiting for that. If you have her name as your next of kin change it, if it’s a joint account remove her name from it, anything joint this joint that remove her name from it, stop begging and crying, I even hate it when a woman cry’s and begs me because I find it irritating, since the first time you started crying and begging like a little child she took advantage of you, what you don’t know is that women hate men that cry and beg, it was my own mother that told me this. Stop prostrating before a woman, stop kneeling and begging a woman, I swear that thing is irritating like shiit. My advice to you is to just end this evil marriage, you said you developed HPB and you are still managing. A man did the same in my area and he died while driving his in car, the woman he left behind is sleeping around like a dog now. Separate from this evil witch you call a wife, let her be since it’s glaring she doesn’t love you anymore, focus on yourself and your health, go to the gym, eat healthy, make enough female friends and am not saying you should start sleeping around but if you find a woman around, hang out with your friends and families. About her birthday fuvk her day and May she burn in Hell. Any man that treats a woman like egg bet it they don’t appreciate and am sure she’s even cheating on you with a real man that’s she no send you. You need to start acting like a real man bro. Woman hate simple men, men that are too nice but if we keep telling men they say women are golden, women are eggs bla bla bla, Free that demon you called a wife, she deserves no mercy. Don’t listen to those people telling you to manage her like that bla bla bla, I can bet she won’t change and you will keep doing the same thing over and over till you die of HPB. Bro she’s not the only woman in the world o, there are still good women out there o. A word is enough for the wise.

@OP: This post sounds harsh but unfortunately I tend to stand with the poster.

In my opinion, your marriage has since crashed; you will therefore do yourself a great service by admitting it and bowing out honorably and alive too. This form and route of suicide is not just ok.com, don't forget you have HBP already.

merahki:
Okay let’s not get carried away and pretend to forget about the effects of a bad man on the health of a woman too. Bad people are bad people, and don’t belong to a particular gender.

Carried away. LOL. This is a question of life and death. There is no gift more special than inner peace and peace at home. This brother has neither at the current moment. I know, I have been through what he is talking about. You became ultra defensive and mentioned gender, which means you must be a woman who feels that this topic is too close to home. No vex, this situation is specific, it has no general application to all women, so unable rest easy pls. We know men get their own shaker too, if that makes you feel better.

OP - life is too short for Wahala ooo. I have a cousin who has BP and has only been married for five years and has 2 boys now. In an argument, the wife tells him ' You want to to argue abi, your BP go increase ooo', At every stage in life, we have options and choices to make.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

You have been a very patient man and God will reward you. If I were you , I will change my pattern it seems you have been too predictable in your marriage. Focus on raising your kids right.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Bro, the Lord God is your Strength.
I am not posing 100% accuracy, yet I'll respond as below.

1. I figure that the woman is from Ekiti.

2. She might be Aires born in (March 21st to April 20th) or rather April born

3. If you really are this passionate and wanting to make your marriage work, see yourself as the one who is to blame for all what you are
experiencing. Reason: it's was your decision to go ahead to marry her despite seeing red flags.

4. Since, finance isn't a bone of contention, you are in a clear to some extent. Now, you need wisdom, God's Wisdom. Pray and ask for it. Ask for
the Spirit of Wisdom.

5. Marriage, is a journey, a journey of faith, holding unto God in faith.

6. Take hold of your marriage in prayers and in authority as the head of the family as instituted by God. Pray with that conviction, assertion and
authority knowingly it's your marriage. Don't be beggarly in your prayers.

7. Don't expect to see magical change from her too soon. But it'll surely come. Be persistently and at your pace.

8. It's likely she has spiritual evil covenant spouse and evil dedication from birth.

9. Your health issue arose from the happenings in your marriage. Just take it easy. Roman was not built in a day. Don't let her attitude or
possible reaction to things bring chills done your spine, or cow you. Do not lay it too much to heart rather regard it as a pinch of salt,
committing all the burdens in your heart prayerfully to God and consistently. Pray and ask for the spirit of boldness and destroy every
domineering spirit or personalty that want to hijack your marriage.

10. Don't you ever allow her push you or force you into doing whatever you ain't comfortable with or that which your spirit isn't at peace with.
Be very firm and that rightly too.

11. Don't allow yourself be provoked to the extent of getting physical with her.

12. Pray always for strength for the journey. As I said earlier it's a journey. Pray for yourself often asking also for peace of mind.

13. Bro, this is your own marriage and automatically your own battle. Be ready to overcome with God. It can't be easily but you'll surely
overcome.

14. Don't be deceived by that fact that she is very prayerfully as you said. You are simply being cajoled by that. You are the spiritual head in
your marriage. Take charge in your prayer life and confidently too.

15. Let the Spirit of God direct you always going forward. Don't allow external influences.



Note to all bachelors intending to get marriage:
Never you stay too far from your own family members and too close to your would be in-laws. It's
highly risky.

You need as much help/advice as you can from your own people (or those whom you regard as
having your interest at heart), because your would be in-laws would only support their own and
polish her before you.

Do not throw out of the window your reasoning faculty. Reg flags don't just go away like that in
marriage except you're ready to bear an AMPLIFIED VERSION of those
red flags.




Stay Blessed.

what happened to for better for worse, she didn't fornicate !!!