ThothHermes:
So why e dey pain you now

E dey pain am gidigan ni

Plead:


E shock you

Not surprisingly though . . . . Giving the OP’s history of this kind of threads.

Na today?

KanwuliaBaby:


Not surprisingly though . . . . Giving the OP’s history of these kinds of thread.

Na today?

But wait oh... how many accounts you get sef

freecocoahubby:


E dey pain am gidigan ni

It fascinates me all the time.

They are supposed to be the "sophisticated", " modern", "independent" career women. But somehow, threads by a woman who is not as modern as they are supposed to be continues to bite them.

You've seen the OP's name, so you already know what to expect. The easy thing would be to ignore the thread. But for where, they'll read the thread and make notes. The truth continues to frustrate them.


As the good book says: "we can do nothing against the truth but for the truth"

Kaamisha:


It's a poorly written text with no sources, no coherence, poorly composed 'paragraphs', inappropriate tone and so it ultimately fails in appealing to her target audience by far. With this sentence at the beginning "Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because" she has further revealed her motivation behind this thread and many others she has created on this forum, whether she herself is aware of it or not. The fact that she has a poor style of writing, which you learn in secondary school, coupled with such a sentence, which is full of mockery, shows that she despises what she doesn't and maybe can't have. These threads reflect her need for recognition hence the attempt to portray her marriage as an achievement and marriage in general as the answer to all social problems. In short, it is envy.

The discourse would be a totally different one if she tried to open up a discussion which addresses the Herculean task of juggling a successful career with family responsibilities but she can't have these discussions since career life is not something she has any experience with apparently. Then she gets all emotional about marriage, quoting from the Bible like God asked her to create threads on NL and gets defensive when people call her out on inexperience, ignorance and lack of exposure which come from sitting at home and watching the Kardashians.

My God.

See pain.

ThothHermes:
My God.

See pain.

Stale.

Kaamisha:


Stale.

Truth is eternal. Never gets stale.

ThothHermes:
It fascinates me all the time.

They are supposed to be the "sophisticated", " modern", "independent" career women. But somehow, threads by a woman who is not as modern as they are supposed to be continues to bite them.

You've seen the OP's name, so you already know what to expect. The easy thing would be to ignore the thread. But for where, they'll read the thread and make notes. The truth continues to frustrate them.


As the good book says: "we can do nothing against the truth but for the truth"

Hasn't she addressed "the modern woman" who considers her career and the options she has? The "modern women" reacted, now you, a man, who has no place in her write up complains. What the fck are you doing here Captain save a hoe? She knows by now that she is a failure in addressing her fellow women.

ThothHermes:
Truth is eternal. Never gets stale.

Your truth is that I am pained? Deep.

Kaamisha:


Then she gets all emotional about marriage, quoting from the Bible like God asked her to create threads on NL and gets defensive when people call her out on inexperience, ignorance and lack of exposure which come from sitting at home and watching the Kardashians.

I honestly can't take that woman serious. There are women out there who aren't interested in marriage, and a happy marriage doesn't and should not stop you from having a successful career as lot of women have already proven and still are proving! I don't know what makes her think a woman has to choose between both.

If you have a partner (not a grown ass man baby), ready to support you and your career and by that I mean a man, who wouldn't be intimidated by your goals and wouldn't expect you to give up on these for him, achieving your goals shouldn't be a problem.

All her threads are about losing yourself into marriage: giving up your goals, not being too much, not being too ambitious, not being too outspoken etc. Basically everything to please a man in order to uphold a marriage status.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the traditional wife, but with all due respect not everybody wants that kind of life. To be honest, I think it's a quite pathetic life to live.

Besides, you're right about the lack of exposure. I think she also lacks the ability to think beyond the horizon.

Stating things like 'the average lady has her B. Sc. before getting married.' Lmaooo

Considering the fact, that the average lady is not the same as the Nigerian average lady, that claim is already bullshit. Besides, how many ladies in the world do have a B. Sc to begin with? Especially if you consider ladies in developing countries. Even in Nigeria

The world's population is growing exponentially. An overpopulated world will lead to an increase urgency in terms of global climate, ressource and waste issues.

Yet this woman is stating

'The children part is contributing your own quota to the world'

The world would actually do better without that lol.

This is not to say people shouldn't have kids of course, but no you're not contributing positively (if we were to think rationally) to the world.

1) most people can do both with a supportive spouse. That’s what I’d encourage if anyone asks my opinion.

2) I agree that unflinching focus on work can lead to emptiness in other areas of life. (Family life mostly).
I also think that the same focus on family can lead to under fulfillment in other aspects of life. Which includes but is not limited to career life.

I don’t know many people who would disagree that creating a balance between the two is the optimal solution. Hence, I don’t think we even really need to be talking about the issue as if it’s a matter of either this or that. It can be both.

Instead emphasis should be created on more supportive husbands who don’t box their wives into a frame. And encourage women to know they can do more if they wish to and be successful at it too.

1. Please I would appreciate the thread is kept clean;
2. Bukatyne stands for some things, coming to my thread over and over and over again to rant makes no sense;
3. Alternate monikers trolling me is stale. Imagine I read a post of someone saying they have always known bukatyne bla bla and the person just registered a week back? Did the person spend the whole week going through all my posts here?

I will be back to answer posts on the thread shortly.

Good morning everyone.

Kaamisha:


Hasn't she addressed "the modern woman" who considers her career and the options she has? The "modern women" reacted, now you, a man, who has no place in her write up complains. What the fck are you doing here Captain save a hoe? She knows by now that she is a failure in addressing her fellow women.

You know she'll create another thread right? And it will still be along these lines. Will you ignore it the next time you see it?

I know say you no go fit.

fieryy:


I honestly can't take that woman serious. There are women out there who aren't interested in marriage, and a happy marriage doesn't and should not stop you from having a successful career as lot of women have already proven and still are proving! I don't know what makes her think a woman has to choose between both.

If you have a partner (not a grown ass man baby), ready to support you and your career and by that I mean a man, who wouldn't be intimidated by your goals and wouldn't expect you to give up on these for him, achieving your goals shouldn't be a problem.

All her threads are about losing yourself into marriage: giving up your goals, not being too much, not being too ambitious, not being too outspoken etc. Basically everything to please a man in order to uphold a marriage status.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be the traditional wife, but with all due respect not everybody wants that kind of life. To be honest, I think it's a quite pathetic life to live.

Besides, you're right about the lack of exposure. I think she also lacks the ability to think beyond the horizon.

Stating things like 'the average lady has her B. Sc. before getting married.' Lmaooo

Considering the fact, that the average lady is not the same as the Nigerian average lady, that claim is already bullshit. Besides, how many ladies in the world do have a B. Sc to begin with? Especially if you consider ladies in developing countries.

The world's population is growing exponentially. An overpopulated world will lead to an increase urgency in terms of global climate, ressource and waste issues.

Yet this woman is stating

'The children part is contributing your own quota to the world'

The world would actually do better without that lol.

This is not to say people shouldn't have kids of course, but no you're not contributing positively (if we were to think rationally) to the world.

It would be interesting to discuss how some women (I believe they are exceptional) have succeeded in having a happy family and a successful career. It would also be interesting to discuss, with an open mind and heart and no judgement, why some women decided to do either or. This would be, by far, a much more fruitful approach than her patronizing and disparaging attempts at preaching. But this requires the intention to learn, open-mindedness and the ability to root for others and wish them the best in whatever choices they take. I feel she is better off roaming the Romance section than talking to grown ups who won't be talked to anyhow by someone who does not show for any expertise whatsoever.

ThothHermes:
You know she'll create another thread right? And it will still be along these lines. Will you ignore it the next time you see it?

I know say you no go fit.

We will see. Will you jump on it too even if it doesn't concern you?

cococandy:
1) most people can do both with a supportive spouse. That’s what I’d encourage if anyone asks my opinion.

2) I agree that unflinching focus on work can lead to emptiness in other areas of life. (Family life mostly).
I also think that the same focus on family can lead to under fulfillment in other aspects of life. Which includes but is not limited to career life.

I don’t know many people who would disagree that creating a balance between the two is the optimal solution. Hence, I don’t think we even really need to be talking about the issue as if it’s a matter of either this or that. It can be both.

Instead emphasis should be created on more supportive husbands who don’t box their wives into a frame. And encourage women to know they can do more if they wish to and be successful at it too.

Cococandy:

Can you point in my OP where I even talked about women focusing on marriage at all?

I stated on this thread that work is a means to an end; I also stated that marriage is a means to an end and why I think focusing on marriage to the exclusion of other things is because one will bring up kids that will leave a lasting legacy.

If one accuses me of saying we should focus on our purpose or calling, ok.
If one tells me not everyone has a purpose, that is another discussion.
If one says some people's purpose is marriage (someone said that on a thread I opened years back), I would say I don't agree.

The above are points I would expect anyone who read the OP to understand to bring out.

Kaamisha:


We will see. Will you jump on it too even if it doesn't concern you?

I like reading her threads. Duhhh...

Expecting some archaic responses to our posts

ThothHermes:
I like reading her threads. Duhhh...

Who told you not to read? You told women, who are the subject of this thread, not to respond when it is not your place really to respond if anyone should be counted out.

Kaamisha:


Who told you not to read? You told women, who are the subject of this thread, not to respond when it is not your place really to respond if anyone should be counted out.

This one like quarrel o

ThothHermes:
This one like quarrel o

Who? Bukatyne? Yes. She always creates threads where people argue and get very very angry. By their fruit you shall know them.

You stated that there is advantage of focusing on marriage over work.

My belief is that there needs be no focus on one over the other. Just a nice balance. Don’t get me wrong I’m not belittling family in favor of work.

I think both are very important and work is for more than earning a living. It’s good for mental health and achievement/surpassing of developmental crises. To mention but a few

bukatyne:


The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.

Marriage however differs in that it affects every other decision and fulfillment of your purpose.

That's why I would rate marriage above work.

cococandy:
You stated that there is advantage of focusing on marriage over work.

My belief is that there needs be no focus on one over the other. Just a nice balance. Don’t get me wrong I’m not belittling family in favor of work.

@bold:

It is better to lose your two months salary than life servings;

My response was to a specific poster which is below in full:
Work is to provide your means of livelihood: Marriage is for companionship, prevention of adultery and raising godly children.

Marriage like work is also a means to an end.

The advantage of focusing on marriage over work is that you train kids who will carry on with your legacy.

I believe this phrase is in the OP:

That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment. That's why even the very rich after they have made money start to look for causes how they can touch the lives of people positively or negatively.

That is not to say we should not be productive or resourceful. Every human should to the best of their ability be productive in a job, vocation or their calling.

This is in another post to someone on this thread:
Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

This thread is sadly not about work vs. family.

It is more of a charge for people not to be so engrossed in making a living that they forget what they are here for.

cococandy:
1) most people can do both with a supportive spouse. That’s what I’d encourage if anyone asks my opinion.

2) I agree that unflinching focus on work can lead to emptiness in other areas of life. (Family life mostly).
I also think that the same focus on family can lead to under fulfillment in other aspects of life. Which includes but is not limited to career life.

I don’t know many people who would disagree that creating a balance between the two is the optimal solution. Hence, I don’t think we even really need to be talking about the issue as if it’s a matter of either this or that. It can be both.

Instead emphasis should be created on more supportive husbands who don’t box their wives into a frame. And encourage women to know they can do more if they wish to and be successful at it too.

For many women the decision is family or career. If you want to climb up high on the career ladder you will have to put a lot of time into building your career. The time you won't get to spend with your kids. Some jobs will take you around the world, hopping planes, living in hotels. When you listen to some women whose careers required them to work extra hours and possibly traveling, you will often hear how painful it was for them to leave their kids in the care of others, supportive husband or not, so the topic is worth having a discussion and as more women aim high and higher, many women will feel they have to choose. We should offer support, seek solutions, not condemnation because it has been a long practice for men to have their career opportunities and wives who would have their backs at home, which led to financial inequality and many advantages for women. For women the situation is relatively new and still very difficult. I like your diplomatic approach though.

Plead:
Bukatyne is too old school.

Another title to my name: Old school.

Ariza:
1. Lol... Op stated that some women place wrong emphasis on "Work". Fine, but what is Wrong?

2. Is it wrong for a woman to choose career over marriage? Well to you it is, to Me it's her choice and to others it isn't wrong. We must learn to respect "Choice and Preference ". We live in a dynamic world, people aren't all equal neither do we all have same desires. I don't think it is right to put everyone in a box and design how they should live or what they should do so far their choices aren't threats to humanity. Because the truth is, Marriage isn't for everyone same as WEALTH isn't for everybody. Discover the one that works for you and move along with it.

I will only respond to points 1 & 2;

1. Yes, I did.

2. Can you point anywhere on this thread (on NL is too wide) where I told women to choose family (marriage) over career (I called it work aka earning a living for a reason)?

It’ll end in tears

Ariza:
Maybe, Maybe not but one thing is certain : If only she works on her presentation of ideas which tend to be more directives than engaging she would have made sense most times and gotten more followers irrespective of gender.

When one conceive an idea, its advisable to think in opposite directions of such ideas I.e other possibilities before coming to conclusions. That way you create a balance then present in the most convincing way that would make people see reasons. It is best to allow people draw their conclusions than impose yours on them. People will revolt! That's what I see happening with Bukat. Yne

The problem you have with my post is not the fact they are 'directives' (every post here apart from opinion polls, real life experiences or issues) actually come out as directives... 'Don't marry a broke man', 'Marry a virgin', 'Cameroon girls are the best in-laws', 'Federal jobs are better than Private jobs', 'APC is crazy', 'PDP is insane' etc.

The problem you have are the content of my posts.

If I said 'women should focus on their jobs' or anything else you agree with, you will be fine with it.

HiFreda:
Maybe I don't understand the thread.
My thought is this.
Discovering who you are as a person is key and the concept of 'purpose' is based on personal interpretation.
While some people believe that they are on earth for a 'reason', some other people believe that you create your own purpose.
This is multifaceted. Not everyone derives joy and fulfilment from marriage, kids, work, and there is no formula to achieving happiness.
.
If you're basing your argument on your religious point of view, not everyone believes in that.
If you're making an argument on
Marriage vs Work= Fulfilment of Purpose
Then it does even begin to cover the idea of fulfilment of purpose, which some people do not even believe exists.

The only thing I am 'guilty' of on this thread is to say only finding and fulfillment of your purpose will give you the ultimate fulfillment.