I agree with only some of the bold. Work can give fulfillment. There are different types of fulfillment. while work can fulfill some aspects of one’s being, the balance with family, social etc life can make up for the rest.

And there was contradiction with the parts I quoted in the previous post above even though it was in response to someone else. But that’s by the way.

my post was in part response to you as the OP of the thread (doesn’t mean that every bit of it was in disagreement) and also more general speaking to anyone who’s reading the thread. Readers often take posts as for or against. So it’s either women should focus on work or focus on marriage. And that’s all they are taking away. No room for balance.

Remember there are other readers and contributors.

bukatyne:


@bold:

It is better to lose your two months salary than life servings;

My response was to a specific poster.

I believe this phrase is in the OP:

That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment. That's why even the very rich after they have made money start to look for causes how they can touch the lives of people positively or negatively.

That is not to say we should not be productive or resourceful. Every human should to the best of their ability be productive in a job, vocation or their calling.

This is in another post to someone on this thread:
Discover your purpose (the hard part), then marry someone who keys into that purpose and vice versa. While at it, you would surely have a work to earn a living.

This thread is sadly not about work vs. family.

It is more of a charge for people not to be so engrossed in making a living that they forget what they are here for.

KanwuliaBaby:


Really?

What is marriage for to you?

We learn everyday.

Bukatyne, you’ve to work on the way you present certain subjects.
You always say things in a way that seems like you’re giving people directives.
The fact that your traditional abi old school lifestyle is working for you doesn’t mean it’ll work for another individual and you’ve to stop bringing religion into things like this when you’re being schooled on how you should present your subjects because it’s not everyone here that is religious.(If you can’t do this,there are two things involved: create your threads on the religion section or add a special tag on the headline of your thread to make people know that the thread is meant for only religious folks.)

Kaamisha:


It would be interesting to discuss how some women (I believe they are exceptional) have succeeded in having a happy family and a successful career. It would also be interesting to discuss, with an open mind and heart and no judgement, why some women decided to do either or. This would be, by far, a much more fruitful approach than her patronizing and disparaging attempts at preaching. But this requires the intention to learn, open-mindedness and the ability to root for others and wish them the best in whatever choices they take. I feel she is better off roaming the Romance section than talking to grown ups who won't be talked to anyhow by someone who does not show for any expertise whatsoever.

I don't think such a discussion can be held on Nairaland, perhaps Quora. Then again what can be described as a happy marriage and successful career is subjective to some extent.

Funny enough about a week or two, I got to know about this amazing woman, who was determined to suport her husband financially. She went from selling used clothes to making millions by investing. She had an amazing husband that supported her and great friends, who didn't make her feel like she had to choose between her goal an her marriage

Her name is Grace Ofure and you can learn more about her, if you start watching the video from 15:51


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WW2VlyMAHhs

Kaamisha:


For many women the decision is family or career.

I agree and it shouldn’t be. We can do both

If you want to climb up high on the career ladder you will have to put a lot of time into building your career. The time you won't get to spend with your kids. Some jobs will take you around the world, hopping planes, living in hotels.

I feel like it also depends on the job in question. Some jobs you can get to your goal without having to be away from your family that much. But I understand that choice is important here.

When you listen to some women whose careers required them to work extra hours and possibly traveling, you will often hear how painful it was for them to leave their kids in the care of others, supportive husband or not, so the topic is worth having a discussion and as more women aim high and higher, many women will feel they have to choose.

I agree. It will take some time though. We need to educate ourselves to stop feeling guilty about sometimes delegating the home front to husbands while we also strive like they are doing to have a fulfilling career life.

We should offer support, seek solutions, not condemnation because it has been a long practice for men to have their career opportunities and wives who would have their backs at home, which led to financial inequality and many advantages for women. For women the situation is relatively new and still very difficult. I like your diplomatic approach though.

Tell me about it. When I hear anyone argue about how women don’t contribute and I think of the ages of financial oppression that women have had to endure, anyone who thinks we aren’t doing well for how far we have come isn’t a truth seeker. But that’s another topic.

akaahs:
That is a work/job: it gives you money and the fine things of life however, it can never give fulfillment.......
The above statement should be subjective because some people find fulfillment in their work/job e.g doctors, engineers, nurses etc.
So the statement may not be true in its entirety.

The bold in a post I responded to someone else responds to you.

bukatyne:


I don't think you understand the OP at all.

A work which can grow into a career in exceptional cases is not designed to 'fulfill' you.

It is like saying all you were created to do in life is work.

Only a calling/purpose can.

Now, it is possible although rare that what earns you a living is also your calling. That way, you are lucky enough to kill two birds with a stone.

Kaamisha:


It's a poorly written text with no sources, no coherence, poorly composed 'paragraphs', inappropriate tone and so it ultimately fails in appealing to her target audience by far. With this sentence at the beginning "Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because" she has further revealed her motivation behind this thread and many others she has created on this forum, whether she herself is aware of it or not. The fact that she has a poor style of writing, which you learn in secondary school, coupled with such a sentence, which is full of mockery, shows that she despises what she doesn't and maybe can't have. These threads reflect her need for recognition hence the attempt to portray her marriage as an achievement and marriage in general as the answer to all social problems. In short, it is envy.

The discourse would be a totally different one if she tried to open up a discussion which addresses the Herculean task of juggling a successful career with family responsibilities but she can't have these discussions since career life is not something she has any experience with apparently. Then she gets all emotional about marriage, quoting from the Bible like God asked her to create threads on NL and gets defensive when people call her out on inexperience, ignorance and lack of exposure which come from sitting at home and watching the Kardashians.

I meant one that doesn’t have the kanwulia name attached to the id/moniker
That name don too commit

@KanwuliaExtra

Kaamisha:


It's a poorly written text with no sources, no coherence, poorly composed 'paragraphs', inappropriate tone and so it ultimately fails in appealing to her target audience by far. With this sentence at the beginning "Whatever variation of the advise, it generates laughter in me because" she has further revealed her motivation behind this thread and many others she has created on this forum, whether she herself is aware of it or not. The fact that she has a poor style of writing, which you learn in secondary school, coupled with such a sentence, which is full of mockery, shows that she despises what she doesn't and maybe can't have. These threads reflect her need for recognition hence the attempt to portray her marriage as an achievement and marriage in general as the answer to all social problems. In short, it is envy.

The discourse would be a totally different one if she tried to open up a discussion which addresses the Herculean task of juggling a successful career with family responsibilities but she can't have these discussions since career life is not something she has any experience with apparently. Then she gets all emotional about marriage, quoting from the Bible like God asked her to create threads on NL and gets defensive when people call her out on inexperience, ignorance and lack of exposure which come from sitting at home and watching the Kardashians.

This post is very laughable.

With your superior sense of reasoning, you can't even decipher what the OP is talking about.

Because you and most of the trolls read to response and not understand, you conjure all sorts in your head and respond.

Where did you'all get the idea that this thread is marriage vs. work?

Plead:


Bukatyne you should direct that question to this asslicker of yours who labeled ariz a a local champion. Abi you no see am?

Lol... Trouble her no further, with time she will realize our points and see how useless it is to think everyone is her enemy.



Iza very simple sturv

ThothHermes:
It fascinates me all the time.

They are supposed to be the "sophisticated", " modern", "independent" career women. But somehow, threads by a woman who is not as modern as they are supposed to be continues to bite them.

You've seen the OP's name, so you already know what to expect. The easy thing would be to ignore the thread. But for where, they'll read the thread and make notes. The truth continues to frustrate them.


As the good book says: "we can do nothing against the truth but for the truth"

It is amazing, innit?

Kuns84:
Buk atyne the earlier you realise coco candy is not your friend the better for you.

What the F is your problem? Do you perhaps suffer from brain hemorrhage? You must be delusional, I'm sure. Just stop mentioning me unnecessarily.