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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) (16695 Views)
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Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 1:29pm On May 11, 2020 |
fieryy: 1. Can you quote anywhere on this thread I said women should choose between having a career (job) and marriage? 2. Where did I say marriage stops women from achieving their goals? 3. Can you give specific examples? |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 1:32pm On May 11, 2020 |
Posts have been banned. Can these trolls stop derailing my threads? |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 1:34pm On May 11, 2020 |
Kaamisha: Get a job Miss. Or a husband. 6 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 1:37pm On May 11, 2020 |
Plead: How in God's name can someone feel 'directed' by another person's post online? 1 Like |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 1:42pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:I can answer this Someone is sitting/standing/laying down right next to them as they read your posts, and that person is holding a gun to their heads and saying... hey biitch, you must pay attention to what Bukatyne is typing, she's wiser than you for ages and you must take her opinions as gospel or you die... * Cocks gun * Now read, learn, and abide...you biitch with fungus for brains That has to be it, else I can't see how anyone's words on the internet or on paper can be interpreted as direction or you forcing your will/opinions on them. Perhaps when people feel incomplete, every opinion that doesn't align with their perceived reality (real or not) will always appear like an attack. It's not you Bukatyne, it's them... Trust me 6 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 1:53pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Temi yemi I understand myself and I have a focus. My topics are to pass across a message so I will not let them distract me. I do not have any 'gang' or 'group' so there is no need to 'feel among.' Unlike them, I live in the real world and see people's concerns: I see ladies in their late 20s, 30s and 40s with good jobs praying for husbands; I see people with well paying jobs burn out and resign looking for that thing; I see people only focused on families feel empty at the end of the day; I see people who regret their choice of husbands and tell everyone to look well; I have seen women dragged back by bad husbands; I have seen directionless youth and girls just drifting looking for an anchor. A lot of people were just laid off due to COVID-19 which has actually been a wake up call to others that you need to find yourself, what you are here for etc. How this topic became marriage vs job/career is beyond me. @ThothHermes: You asked a question, can't find it anyone. My message is to the Nigerian youth/woman and so NL is the best platform to share it. These threads are permanently there. If it transforms the life of just one person, I am grateful and happy. Leave the noise makers alone. My people say you don't mind the distraction of the noise makers, you face the person you are bargaining with. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:00pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:I'll be honest about something here though. Perhaps you should do better to gather your thoughts before presenting them in writing. The way you would talk about a topic orally is certainly not the same way you would write about it. I tell you this not because I don't understand your OP, I get what you're saying...but if I was someone who previously had some kind of bias against your person, I would not be patient enough to try to understand where you're coming from... I will simply react based off what I feel about you and not the message you're trying to pass across. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:02pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Toor. So what areas in this OP is a trigger? 1 Like |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by Nobody: 2:04pm On May 11, 2020 |
Finally some truth. Like I've always typed, Las Las everybody go dey alright. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:09pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:I'm not seeing the trigger, remember I'm NEVER one to get triggered by your posts. You can only see what you're expecting to see. Another solution is: Leave your writing as is, and don't change a thing. Simply insert a caveat at the beginning of your threads stating, this is my opinion, based off what I see around me... It won't stop ratchets from getting triggered though, but at least your only response would be to direct them back to the caveat. 6 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:12pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Thank you for the feedback, I think the caveat would work just fine for this one. It was created from my phone so the short sentences. |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:25pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:It is definitely about them for two reasons: 1. They just don't like you 2. What you're saying hits them like a brick. For instance, I know for a fact that Nigerian women (majority) have more aspirations towards a successful marriage life than careers. As a matter of fact, everyone knows this. The ones attacking you, most of them having been dreaming about big weddings and the life of being married right since the first strand of pubic hair appeared on top of their vagînas. Ask a sizeable number of Nigerian women where they see themselves in 10years, 98% will tell you how they see themselves as a wife and mother blessed with a loving husband, only 1% will tell you how they hope to become CEO of a business or permanent secretary in a federal job, or a well-known politician fighting for women's rights. The remaining 1% don't even know where they'll be. So yea, what your thread is advising is actually how they already feel...but agreeing with you will expose them as nothing more than women with no larger aspirations than having a family, neither will agreement favour their dislike for you. Most are okay at just earning a stable income at a good job, without the stress of having to think about becoming CEO, president, or astronaut. Let hubby be the one with lofty aspirations and they will support him, is more like it. This is the reality... Remember, not many people even have a career. What a lot of people have are jobs, that's about it and that's fine too. 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:31pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Which was why I did not even talk of a career; A company of 1,000 employees would have only one CEO, CFO, COO, CTO etc who would serve a number of years. 90% of employees would sadly not even have a career at the end. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:36pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:There you go. An alternative to getting to that apex in an organization would be owning your own business as a woman. You are boss to yourself. And guess what, this even favours your argument because such a woman will definitely have time for her family whenever the hell she wants, and she will not even need to focus more on her career (or business) at the expense of her family. That's what being your own boss is about - you get to control your own time. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by Kaamisha: 2:38pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne: When you get an education. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:40pm On May 11, 2020 |
Kaamisha: If you were indeed educated, you would have better composure. 2 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by Kaamisha: 2:44pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne: I am very composed. Actually enjoying myself. You got defensive from page one because as always you recycled opinions you were fed with but got overwhelmed when you had to explain and back them up. 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:44pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Funny, I don't even think being your boss gives you more time (except if it is a business for sustenance.) My CEO spends more time at work/working than I do and I am sure most people will say the same. It is not even about having time for family (which is another discussion), it is about not loosing sight that a job/work is just a means to an end. 1 Like |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:48pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:Right, but guess what? Your CEO can decide she's not going to work for the next two weeks simply because she wants to stretch her legs at home with her family, and no one will question her. Can you do that? 3 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:50pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Why not? |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
bukatyne:An alternate. 3 Likes |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by crackkhaus: 2:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
Re: Placing The Wrong Emphasis On Work (aka Earning A Living) by bukatyne(f): 2:53pm On May 11, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Of course yes |
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