I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month
Mods please help me push this to front page

this is a typical example of a man who thinks the woman must carry all the burden whereas in a relationship both parties must work hand in hand for peace to reign. a times there is nothing bad if the man set the table while the lady cook the food. cooperative is not only in business alone it works in relationships also.

Betakeshi:

Me sef follow u laugh. This guys learned well from their fathers. So many things is wrong and they think it's normal. That's why wife are looking older, from exhaustion

If this ur writeup is the complete truth & nothing but the truth then stop selling ur self short he should simply get a maid or you accept the probational wife status,after all it's ur choice

Hmmm

phrancys001:
If this ur writeup is the complete truth & nothing but the truth then stop selling ur self short he should simply get a maid or you accept the probational wife status,after all it's ur choice

Thanks. I will talk to him about it and observe him too.

First of all you are not yet his wife and you should know your place in his life. You gave him that impression of been a maid, if you know what you cannot endure never give a green light to such actions. Now talk to him about it privately, it's not enough to be angry without achieving a meaningful result.

Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.

Don't get carried away.
You are still his girlfriend not his wife.

Anyway, direct that ‘anger’ towards yourself.

You know he's a ‘traditional’ man but yet you've resolved to please him & seek for his validation by cooking his meals for a wifey title as reward.

Okay well, since you can't ask him to get a maid, next time, don't forget to “put water for washing hands and to drink”.

What is worth doing is worth doing well.

Define yourself then go and learn your role, if he is your fiance, you should start adjusting yourself. But nonetheless, he should not have scolded you in front of an outsider, that's not cool.

U sef phuc up.
he never Marry u, u don dey cook for him at home.
He is just showing u what will be Happening when u marry

I think the story is cooked up but let me give you the benefit of the doubt.

When you serve people food, you serve whatever is needed to enjoy the food along with it, be it water to drink, to wash hands, napkins or spoons. If you need someone (your boyfriend) to lend you a helping hand then you simply say "Babe, can you please get the water already?/ Would you please be so kind and get the water?/Can you help me a little please?"

Now I don't know how he asked why you didn't bring them water because the tone matters but the question is justified. Why not? If you feel that you should not bring water because you came to his place sweating then maybe you should not have come in the first place. Doing something for someone you care about should not feel like a sacrifice neither should it stress you. If for some reason his request is inconvenient, you can always say no for whatever reason. You are his girlfriend, not his slave. But please don't do anything and then complain. Give cheerfully or don't give at all. Do what you have to do properly or don't do it at all. If you can only do half, communicate why you want support.

Your choice of words is also revealing. You said that "since morning hes been disturbing" you. If he is such a nuisance, why are you two together?

What I find disturbing about your boyfriend though is that he wants you to cook for his mother at your first visit to his parent's house.

Lol
Scam (forge forge) thread!
If you served them food, there would have been nothing wrong with bringing them water too. It’s incomplete serving that you did shaa. Do something and do it right. All waters on/around the table, with the food. Or you plain tell him you don’t do serving, instead of doing it half-bakedly. That’s just sloppy I think.
Cheers

DrPurple:
U sef phuc up.

he never Marry u, u don dey cook for him at home.

He is just showing u what will be Happening when u marry

I like cooking. It's something I enjoy doing, but taking advantage of it is what I dont like. I'm just waiting for him to come so I can clear my mind to him.

Your boyfriend did something you did not like and instead of discussing with him, you went through the stress of opening a new moniker on NL?

You are really bored.

;Du All because of what? So that he can marry you? Pele ooo

See the truth is that for most pple it's those things we sacrificed ourselves doing for our partners when in a rltship that hurts the most when d relationship collapse.

It's evident you don't like to be treated like this, so don't take it, cos one day he will tell you that u pretended and changed after marrying you. Call him aside when both of u are together and let him know u don't appreciate the way he spoke to you in the presence of his friend.

He is treating you the way u presented yourself . He his not your husband , so he doesn't have any right over you.

Hathor5:
I think the story is cooked up but let me give you the benefit of the doubt.

When you serve people food, you serve whatever is needed to enjoy the food along with it, be it water to drink, to wash hands, napkins or spoons. If you need someone (your boyfriend) to lend you a helping hand then you simply say "Babe, can you please get the water already?/ Would you please be so kind and get the water?/Can you help me a little please?"

Now I don't know how he asked why you didn't bring them water because the tone matters but the question is justified. Why not? If you feel that you should not bring water because you came to his place sweating then maybe you should not have come in the first place. Doing something for someone you care about should not feel like a sacrifice neither should it stress you. You can always say no for whatever reason. You are his girlfriend, not his slave.

Your choice of words is also revealing. You said that "since morning hes been disturbing" you. If he is such a nuisance, why are you two together?

What I find disturbing about your boyfriend though is that he wants you to cook for his mother at your first visit to his parent's house.

Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in private rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen sweating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all. I used 'disturbing me' because he kept asking me to come earlier than we both agreed, cos him and his friend are really hungry from eating bread last night.

Vikky1425:

Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in privacy rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen seating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all.

Read what I wrote again until you find the answers to all your questions. They are there.

bring food and no drinking water, no wash hand water?!?!?!?1 baby girl, you failed o! you should have stayed home!

bukatyne:
Your boyfriend did something you did not like and instead of discussing with him, you went through the stress of opening a new moniker on NL?

You are really bored.

But you that is on NL 24/7 isn't bored too right? If I become too bored I can create 10 new more in a day

Vikky1425:

But you that is on NL 24/7 isn't bored too right? If I become too bored I can create 10 new more in a day

Oya create na.

Goodluck.

Vikky1425:

Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in private rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen sweating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all. I used 'disturbing me' because he kept asking me to come earlier than we both agreed, cos him and his friend are really hungry from eating bread last night.

What is the big deal there now? This is how he will behave should you two finally get married, so you either accept such mindset or end the relationship but thinking that he will change after marriage is wishful thinking. Either you accept his script or take a walk.

Bola146:
;Du All because of what? So that he can marry you? Pele ooo

I taya o my sister. Wetin eyes no go see

Walk away from that guy else you will regret it

Smh

It doesnt make sense that you can prepare food, serve it, and refuse to bring water along. It is only an insensitive person that will rush to open thread in a public forum that reveals her thoughtlessness. If you were to eat, won't you keep water handy while you eat? I see it an act disrespect to boyfriend's guest. What point are you trying to prove? That you did him a "favour" by cooking for his friend?

Now that you know the type of person you want to marry, it's now left for you to either continue with the relationship or not, just don't come back in the future to create another moniker describing how you're being treated by your husband and his family.


The ball is in your court already.


Good luck.....

You are in a relationship with someone whom you cant be happy to serve ,where is the love. If you go ahead to serve the water will it change name from mgbeke to mgbafor? Sometimes, I wonder the motives behind nowadays relationship. If you can't sacrifice in the relationship, you ship off.

What's the big deal here

You served someone food without drinking water and water for washing hands.

If you don't wanna serve him why not ask him to go dish food from the pot after cooking

Duplipost!