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I Was A Husband: My Experience - Family (21) - Nairaland

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My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? / How Do I Handle A Husband Who Wants To Have Sex Almost Everyday? / Wife To Husband: ‘my Pregnancy Isn’t Yours’ (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by SirMichael1: 3:25pm On May 14, 2020
seunlayi:



marriage is cool, interesting and a blessing, it depends on our choice.

@Op, sorry that it took you too long to understand your proud wife, I thank God for helping you out of it all. Take care of your child and move on. As for your wife (if I were you) that is the end. I can bear 1000 men with evidence of sleeping with my wife before I met her than just one man that slept with her after I married her.
Take care of your new job, relax from your former relationship before starting another

Oga don't lie about how you can bear 1000 men sleeping with your wife before you met. When you didn't marry a Hoe? Fact that you're her 1001th dick doesn't stop her from adding another insignificant one to the numbers.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:25pm On May 14, 2020
OriOko88:

Don't mind that ybaby. You never knew what's happening in her family. Believe what u read on social media at your peril. Be submissive to your husband, you don't hv to look for equality. A good wife must be submissive.

Poor man rant.

I made a post that I love being submissive but will never be submissive to an infidel

Do you want to be feed by a woman and still have ger submit to you??

You are her son she will not submit... she will just yimu when you bring your ideas? Why ? Because you are worse than an infidel

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 3:25pm On May 14, 2020
funmisticqueen2:
I hope to have a marriage like the picture you painted one day.
keep dreaming. No one does such for ugly fat ladies

7 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by OriOko88(m): 3:26pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:


Keep selling your pussy to d highest bidder, I hope to have my share someday.

And I will.

Don't mind that effing ybaby. She's been ranting here since, thinking her opinions are d best. Ignore her. She may even be a single mother, cajouling people with her misleading posts

8 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Asuito7(m): 3:27pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:


I appreciate your lines and I thank you for making me understand a lot of things I might not have known. Also permit me to look at your feedback line-by-line and word by word.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My bro every man has a 3 months grace to get his shit together:

If it takes 3month for a man to deliver to his family in time of tribulations and challenge. What time frame might we allocate to woman to heal after being involved in a life threatening accident that took away all her great attribute for performing any role as a wife? Can we say 3month, 3years etc. Same question can go the man what if?

Life happens and most wives especially in a society like NG prefer to be married at least for appearance sake so for a woman to go from angel to witch ... it takes 3 months.:

Are you telling that marriage is so Artificial that the society need to redefine its requirements... Maybe there should be a law that states explicitly - that considering the natural state of mind woman and the maximum period for a woman to go from an Angel to a monster... A divorce proceeding can commence after one year when either of the party is not able to provide a certain percentage of material expectations, Maybe it should be a criminal offence? Maybe we will all sit and think well before we get into an "artificial contraption".... pls just saying. Are your telling me that WOMAN is inherently weak and deprived of any sense of good judgement and GRACE? Are you indicating that the WOMAN is mentally and spiritually WEAK by nature. My parents, in the face of the worst situations they have lived together for 55years, even they still hold hands till date. I take inspiration from their life. My mother at no point in time said anything bad about my father even when we knew he was wrong, neighter did my father. I am not perfect, but I have foundation that kindles my believe. Even the best and the richest people have their problems?

Now for better for better not worse ..... that statement does not supersede the man being an infidel or worse than an infidel when he cannot provide. They will be together but he will leave by himself when the fury of hell is brought on him:


If the man is infidel because he cannot provide, what is a woman who cannot BELIEVE and see through the situation. The word INFIDEL as used in the Quran needs not be taken out of context context. Muslims on the forum can expatiate. I would like to know.

No one is more resilient than women - she is programmed to carry a child for 9 months - but no matter how.much money she has..... for emphasis I will repeat no matter how much money she has - [b]she is not programmed to shelter, feed or cloth a man least of all her husband:

Yes I agree. As human we are capable of doing what pleases our hearts. I would have believed aside fro wisdom, mental and spiritual resilience takes precedence in all life matters. The consequence of a life without them is glaring. If the WOMAN can see through nine months of excruciating pains and still was able to give birth even when there no guarantees that child will live. What do you think is the lesson learnt? All she does is BELIEVE. It just like attending primary, secondary, university and even spending a lot on master degree for rare knowledge. Still life does not guarantee anything to anyone. Its never weakest or the strongest that wins the race of life. Its our capacity to wait for that CHANCE and TIME that matters. Opportunity come with preparation. Is the resilient WOMAN able to stand FAIR and FIRM. I believe it take a special WOMAN to see this.. There are so many. We have women who are married to the poorest of the poorest men and still come out unshakened. I will share a typical example with you if time permits. There are so many men who are married to women with terrible life challenges long before they got married... So are even disabled and even cant bear children. It takes the special MAN to see beyond the situation. There are so many. I really think you line undermines the natural capacity of the spiritual resilience of a woman. I have a mother you know.. I can still remember events.

See the bible said worse than an infidel - meaning he will be treated worse than an infidel:

Yes it true again.. They are only emphasizing the place of the MAN in a home. His failure is the failure of his family. He has to perfect his ways to enhance his family. Failure to do is tantamount to a gave consequence. There is no point for me to even tell the position of the Holy Books on the woman who betrays her husband... When we use the Holy books for definitions that requires more explanation and we refuse to STANDOUT, we will be digging more holes than we can fill. So I will be staying away from using the Books. We need to remember that our children can either be male of female. Our position goes a long way in shaping their future. If we teach your children to make money we need to emphasized that life is beyond the materialism that come with it, hence he/she might priorities money over affection, and would prioritize lust or love. There are still so many rich who are not happy and there some many wealth married woman who are not. Same goes for single males and females. Rather than living our lives, our deprivation and fights through our children there is need to always emphasis the grace that comes with living with or without the wealth that comes with living. The truth is that any of these does not guarantee any happiness for anyone no matter you status or state of mind in life.

A man is practically useless in a family setting if he is not providing :

I would beg to disagree. It takes a great family to stay together in times of challenges. It takes grace for them to overcome. It takes a wise man/woman to see through the situation. If man is lazy, I agree it is terrible, if a woman is lazy it terrible. But take it or leave it, Living is choice but life does not even guarantee you a happy ending. So behind a a successful woman is a man with grace and behind a successful man is a strong woman. If your read through history most great people rise though the ashes and with the support of the Special people who are able to trust and believe in them. It does go a long way.

My overall take on your position: No aspect of life is guaranteed not even to the richest, poorest, the strongest or weakest. No amount of hard-work will position you. If LIFE chooses they can remain poor for life, for all it cares. Time and chance are spiritual. It for the SPECIAL ones only and its not negotiable. If that time comes and life imposes a marathon on you, you can step aside, continue or start all over again. You can even fill yourself with HATE. Life does not speak our language. I am a living testimony to this. I graduated as computer Engineer (not with the best of grades though). I believed I could never get a job I so desired, not to forget that I had in my SSCE (6 - A1, 1 -A2 and C4 in English). What if I was not educated. I will sit down now and blame myself as if education guarantees wealth. In the face of challenges we all need some one to lean on. I have had my share of brilliance and struggles, have no doubt that either of these can surface at anytime. There are some many of our sisters and brother suffering absolute injustice but because the society dictates how we much react, and who is responsible for what roles, they keep quiet and die in their silence. I started a business which took us so far but was not really promising. Although that was one business I always loved and cherished but life gave it bashing. If the one you married ans trust can not see your struggles but spit it in your face. Its time to redirect your energy not matter the consequence. Thanks to my upbringing and the support of my Aged parents and siblings. If I may tell, my wife too finished with a distinction from Yabatech but all she got for SALARY did not pass for brilliance. She is tremendously brilliant. Still, we lived on the low...

I never realised what I thought was not useful 14years ago was going be my JOKER. I was forced to go back, dusted my books and fought to be relevant again. On the day of my interview they did not believe I was so CHEAP. The agreed take home with benefit salary was R115,000 naira per month. But to my surprise, the offer received had a different amount. I give God the glory and still cry till date. Never realised I could earn that much despite lack of real profession engagements. I passed test with minimum of 80%. I cried and cried when I saw the results. But grace smiled on me. Please note that I only received my appointment sometimes in November 2019. It was a prioritized position. I asked myself WHY NOW? Not after I have lost everything. I will forever be grateful to friends who stood with me not by me, who saw me responsible enough to feed me when I had nothing to eat, who borrow me clothes and shoes for my many interviews. I thank my my friend who borrower his best Suit for the last interview. I also thank the one that gave me his shoes and tie as well. I did have my times and I thank thank God for the experience. But most importantly my aged parents who said they don't want to hear complain, they wanted me to live again. I am a generally happy person, I am not perfect, I get angry, I cry and I will not claim to be a saint in the challenges that ended my CHERISH MARRIAGE. There is really no gain without pain... It was my journey and I embraced with all sense of dignity. For the record I NEVER HAD ANY WOMAN EXCEPT MY WIFE. Moreover, I did not have time... I was only dedicated to overcoming my challenges.

We can say whatever we want to say. Life will never pay a good person with evil. It will only test your resilience to see if you can manage the situation. Constituency and dedication is gift I will continue to cherish. I did not let my challenges change my person, I still smiled, even when close friends and family members knew I was not happy. The bathroom was my friend, that was my space to cry and when I am done crying I will leave and smile again. Nobody till today know why I moved out (at least from me) but I will keep it like that. I will have nothing to gain or loose. I only decided to tell my story after many advice on similar issue on this forum. I get taken aback by the comments and wonder why we can sit behind the desk an spit FIRE instead of reconciliation, yet we want to have a relationship or we already have one. In a relationship you will never know the truth. Be quick to judge but be patient to spit it out...

Thank you.
See you really make me cry from this post. Not even your first post on the front page or your other replies moved me as this one. I am moved by your heart touching writing in this post.

You were really brought up by a good and well balanced family that's why you still BELIEVE in the positive side of life, good women still exist and also not trying to paint your wife bad to outsiders. You are a GOOD and POSITIVE MAN, I really really mean it.

May the true God who gives breath of life reward and heal you and if 'possible' gives you a compatible partner(if you still want to marry).

For emphasis sake, if you want to marry please go for a lady with character like yours and who is also meek(...when it comes to a meek person who is not pretending, even if they should get angry, thereafter they will mellow down and they always see their own wrong and try to correct them even ready to accept consequences of their actions). I am saying this because it would not be good to pass through again what you just pass through with another partner though I strongly believe it wouldn't be so.

All in all, I like you and continue to stay safe and happy.

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by zcee: 3:27pm On May 14, 2020
If you want your downfall,just don't go back to DAT woman...

Some of these ladies out there are badluck...
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:27pm On May 14, 2020
Kekereekun123:
keep dreaming

Why? Not all men are infidels like you.

Stop manipulating women to settle for infidels pls

@funmisticqueen2

Amen dear

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by DAYOODS(m): 3:28pm On May 14, 2020
Dyt:


But you need a friend
From your write up, you been through alot

It's ok
I won't persuade you
**that's if you don't have any**

Have a goodnight rest in your lekki suite sir


Indirect toasting,I see you,sharp girl.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:28pm On May 14, 2020
OriOko88:


Don't mind that effing ybaby. She's been ranting here since, thinking her opinions are d best. Ignore her. She may even be a single mother, cajouling people with her misleading posts

Infidels rant

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by OlawaleBammie: 3:28pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Why women dont have sense? shocked

No not laidat!!

They have sense and i respect them, but they are always insensitive with their judgments and all, majority of dem are born with self-centeredness

Not that dey dont know wat is write but wat is write is always difficult for them to do or admit.

they wil b willing to take u for shit but wont allow u to fake dem for urine.

majority of them are confusionists joo, a dey fear dem.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by emmaodet: 3:28pm On May 14, 2020
dayleke:


First of all, let me say I'm sorry for having quoted you in the first place. It was this one I saw first that I quoted to debunk what you said but after reading subsequent quotes, I can only say SORRY.

With this kind of warped mentality and interpretation that you are giving that verse in the bible, I can only say WOW!!!!.

"Eating out of my wife's sweat"?
"An infidel" if I can not provide for the family?
This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
A wife/husband that you both said "in sickness, in health till death do you part"?
So pulling resources together as a family is now an abomination?
Like I said before, what works for you may not work for someone else but do not put the other person down or say their way is wrong.
You live in an environment in which you wanna have a better life for you and your family and you find out pulling all resources together by both of you can make you accomplish that, you call that eating out of the wife's sweat?
Just check this out.
Wife works dayshift, husband works night shift.
Husband gets the kids ready for school in the morning while wife gets ready for work.
Husband takes the kids to school and is home when they come back. Assist the kids with homework and cook for the family before wife comes back from work.(Since he is home, why will d wife who's been working all day will come and start cooking again?). Kids attend public schools cos you pay taxes and they are good schools too.
Husband goes to work for his own shift.
Household chores are shared as need arises.
All bills are paid from a common purse. Everyone is happy. So which one be INFIDEL there now?
If wife's medical insurance plan is better than the hubby's, all family members are put on the insurance including the "infidel".
My sister, if you find yourself in an environment whereby you have to do the right thing to survive and enjoy your life to the fullest, you have to do it.
God bless you and say you wanna do it by yourself and not be an "infidel", na "dead infidel" you go be sef.
In marriage, love and understanding is not enough, good financial planning is needed too.

I wonder what you will say to a man who has been shouldering everything for his family for years and suddenly have a debilitating illness like a stroke or something and can not do so anymore. Should the wife not work and take over the running of the family affairs?
Or she should just go and find another man to take care of her?

Like I said in my first quote, "God bless your family" but please do not use your own yardstick for other marriages out there and please also stop quoting that verse.

Shalom.

Please stop quoting that lady, she has a very wrong mentality and wrong upbringing.
We know such people, if the hubby enters turbulent time, he is finished.
All the i love you, i love you will turn to bag and she will kill the hubby.
A lot of guys should please stay away from such women, they are mobile deadly cancers

12 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Parkleader: 3:29pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


What are you saying na?

I love provider men. I appreciate them. Without such men we will have no roads, no roof.... these men move human race forward

It is infidel men i detest... lazy men who are looking or eating from a woman sweat.

Do you understand now?
Please was Op an infidel man or not? grin

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Nobody: 3:29pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Why? Not all men are infidels like you.

Stop manipulating women to settle for infidels pls

@funmisticqueen2

Amen dear
na u sabi. She is fat and ugly. So which man go want to worship her. I guess u madam ybaby is fine and fair. Tell me if i am wrong

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by thegrace: 3:29pm On May 14, 2020
crackland:

Bro any man that remains in the house eating his wife's money after life happened to him, is on his own.

Same thing I've always stated here.

He ought to move far away from her and only visit occasionally to see the kids.
If it's not against his moral/ethical codes, he can have a side-chic at his new base to release tension once in a while.
Wow! This is so sad. I hope you and cap lock are joking. Not all women are like this. Some of us still see our role as Helpers as sacrosanct. Unless the man is not showing signs of trying to provide.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:29pm On May 14, 2020
PDJT:


-Oh sorry I didn’t know his wife was a prostitute. Ofcos, money for hand; back for ground for women in prostitution.

Joker


Donot rape anyone even your wife... no is no

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:30pm On May 14, 2020
Parkleader:

Please was Op an infidel man or not? grin

Please the bible said a man who cannot provide for his own is an infidel not me.

Check your bible

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 3:30pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Poor man rant.

I made a post that I love being submissive but will never be submissive to an infidel

Do you want to be feed by a woman and still have ger submit to you??

You are her son she will not submit... she will just yimu when you bring your ideas? Why ? Because you are worse than an infidel
madam how much u get no be by noise talk who u be mk we know

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by shedy03(m): 3:31pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.
lols. Your case can be different.
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Premiumwriter: 3:32pm On May 14, 2020
Dyt:


I could have sent a DM if I wanted?
Don't you think so?

And how are you sure hunkle isn't keeping any?
cheesy cheesy grin grin

However, I wasn't asking for myself, I don't even live close plus I am very TAKEN kiss kiss kiss

very taken eh?

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:32pm On May 14, 2020
Kekereekun123:
na u sabi. She is fat and ugly. So which man go want to worship her. I guess u madam ybaby is fine and fair. Tell me if i am wrong

No body God created is ugly. The only ugly being here is you ..... internally you have absorbed darkness and I pray for you today that the light will take over your inside and bring down the wall of Jericho that is making your brain malfunction

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by wirinet(m): 3:33pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


What are you saying na?

I love provider men. I appreciate them. Without such men we will have no roads, no roof.... these men move human race forward

It is infidel men i detest... lazy men who are looking or eating from a woman sweat.

Do you understand now?
I don't understand. What happens if the man had provided for you, your children and your family for 30 years, and then for some extraneous reason, (maybe stroke, accident or business tragedy) is unable to provide, either temporarily or permanently. Does he suddenly become an infidel and lazy man to you?
If you are in a better position, does he not deserve eating your sweat?

5 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by abbatoir(m): 3:33pm On May 14, 2020
prettysassygirl:
This is really pathetic,I pray never to be this of person to my husband when things go awry.

Nobody pray so.. it's beyond human control
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ibechris2: 3:33pm On May 14, 2020
My advice for u now that God has blessed u is this,pls start a rugged investment now or never,I am a typical Igbo man that likes money and work for it.

No job in Nigeria is permanent even Ministers,permanent secs and Dg's are all losing their jobs. Pls,save and invest to fully regain ur respect and consider taking ur wife back and I bet u,u will not regret it.

And those who are scared of getting married, earn and save to invest,stop spending money on liabilities such as renting an apartment for ur girl friends and sending their entire family money when u are not sure of marrying her.
If u are a man here and u are 25years and above,start hustling and working towards marriage,because na lack of money dey make some men fear marriage.

If u have money,everything in marriage will bow to ur authority except of course,there is no understanding in the marriage.

Marriage is wonderful!

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by airoport: 3:34pm On May 14, 2020
Just be grateful that you weren't consumed emotionally and/or physically. It's crazy when spouses betray each other via adultery. It's good you handled it well; and your new employment. Take good care of your child and formally divorce her and move on with your life. Many didn't have the equanimity to carry on with life in such circumstances. I knew of a guy who suicided, found after about 4 days in Ojodu-Berger area. Another I know of is sick, wife is housewife but treats him bad despite fending for her and kids past 15 years. The guy is contemplating suicide!
Overall, you really tried, your medula dey kampe! So, I pray you find true love especially in view of your new lease on life via employment/income! Peace.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Ybaby: 3:34pm On May 14, 2020
wirinet:

I don't understand. What happens if the man had provided for you, your children and your family for 30 years, and then for some extraneous reason, (maybe stroke, accident or business tragedy) is unable to provide, either temporarily or permanently. Does he suddenly become an infidel and lazy man to you?
If you are in a better position, does he not deserve eating your sweat?

Ask the bible...
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by OLORIPAPA: 3:34pm On May 14, 2020
@op U try oooo..but there is this thing I am thinking,that the man that is servicing her may have contributed to her promotion....maybe or maybe not who knows or even cares

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Parkleader: 3:34pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Please the bible said a man who cannot provide for his own is an infidel not me.

Check your bible
Lol, i must say age does not come with knowledge, I must say you have been fortunate in your life and i thank God for you. Bye

9 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by joyandfaith: 3:36pm On May 14, 2020
tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

you are a real man. your wife was a pretender before marriage
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by Simbrixton(m): 3:36pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Joker


Donot rape anyone even your wife... no is no
u be yoruba woman sef
Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by biggy26: 3:36pm On May 14, 2020
Obingene:
Hian!!

Cold shivers ran down my spines as I read this.

I'm so not enthusiastic about marriage anymore.
Don't be scared bro. There are still very sane women who are ready to support you come rain or shine.

1 Like

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PrimadonnaO(f): 3:36pm On May 14, 2020
faithfull18:
Hmmn, this sounds like fiction. I don't support divorce but if adultery is involved with evidences, then separation is advised. Biblically, either partners are expected not to marry again but you know in our present world, we read and act upside down.

You know, with the way almost everyone seems to remarry after a divorce, I began to wonder if I didn’t read my bible correctly, or that I lack comprehension. This is because the Bible I know tells me that only death of a spouse frees a person who was once married to remarry.

It is well, sha. All these bad marriage stories. Breaks my heart to smithereens!

2 Likes

Re: I Was A Husband: My Experience by PDJT: 3:37pm On May 14, 2020
Ybaby:


Joker


Donot rape anyone even your wife... no is no

-Have you heard of what prostate cancer is doing to men recently?

-Any wife that doesn’t satisfy his husband sexually should be moved on real quick by a real niggar, the inherent wisdom in our polygamous inheritance has never been defeated.

-But i pity the OP, apparently he married an evening newspaper that went back to her former trade; money for hand, back for ground business.

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