One month relationship and you are already a maid being commanded up and down.Na wa o.
Isn't this the time when the man should still be all over you wining and dining you?
You are already pounding yam and cooking like say na mama put job dem put u with proposal of future cooking assignment for his mother.
My dear this one na bad market
3rd grade okirika na im u buy
Run away fast.This will get worse and 100X worse in marriage

MrBrownJay1:
bring food and no drinking water, no wash hand water?!?!?!?1 baby girl, you failed o! you should have stayed home!

U ve said it all,,make she dey blow englais there

dominique:
You toiled in the kitchen for a man you barely know but you're upset that he asked you for water? If you can go and cook for a man you just started dating, what is water that you cannot serve? As much as I detest traditional men, I stand with him on this. It is highly improper to serve food without water to go with it

Tell am

Hathor5:
I think the story is cooked up but let me give you the benefit of the doubt.

When you serve people food, you serve whatever is needed to enjoy the food along with it, be it water to drink, to wash hands, napkins or spoons. If you need someone (your boyfriend) to lend you a helping hand then you simply say "Babe, can you please get the water already?/ Would you please be so kind and get the water?/Can you help me a little please?"

Now I don't know how he asked why you didn't bring them water because the tone matters but the question is justified. Why not? If you feel that you should not bring water because you came to his place sweating then maybe you should not have come in the first place. Doing something for someone you care about should not feel like a sacrifice neither should it stress you. If for some reason his request is inconvenient, you can always say no for whatever reason. You are his girlfriend, not his slave. But please don't do anything and then complain. Give cheerfully or don't give at all. Do what you have to do properly or don't do it at all. If you can only do half, communicate why you want support.

Your choice of words is also revealing. You said that "since morning hes been disturbing" you. If he is such a nuisance, why are you two together?

What I find disturbing about your boyfriend though is that he wants you to cook for his mother at your first visit to his parent's house.

@vikky1425
here is a reasonable wife advising u.
I laughed while reading ur post but
ehn buy this quoted idea. E get Y. see we men can b funny at times.
To me u should av completed what u started with Joy, in that scenerio of embarrassing u in front of his friend, next time look at his face eyeball to eyeball then go and do the walk. save him from disgracing himself while with his Friend. His Ego is needed.

But please let him know u aren't cool with him embarrassing u in front of visitors and beg him not to do that again. He will tell u nothing much but tell him 'babe I'm sorry but don't just do that to me again'.
he ll reason with u and b careful to try that next time.


Beside, hope u av paying job and also the brainy (not rude) type??, he need to see reason why he should respect ur person.

shallom

TheArchangel:
1 month dating and you are already on call duty as a chef.

Naso she see am o, so what's ur advice??

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

I'm convinced this story is fake and written just to instigate gender war. But to give you the benefit of the doubt, I wonder why you chose to come here to rant rather than discussing with mister boyfriend.

You said he craved the benefit of a wife without acting like a husband. In what way has he not acted like one? Does he not provide? If he does alright, then take your role as the 'weaker vessel' and sit your sorry ass in the kitchen . He is your lord.

danilmo:


@vikky1425
here is a reasonable wife advising u.
I laughed while reading ur post but
ehn buy this quoted idea. E get Y. see we men can b funny at times.
To me u should av completed what u started with Joy, in that scenerio of embarrassing u in front of his friend, next time look at his face eyeball to eyeball then go and do the walk. save him from disgracing himself while with his Friend. His Ego is needed.

But please let him know u aren't cool with him embarrassing u in front of visitors and beg him not to do that again. He will tell u nothing much but tell him 'babe I'm sorry but don't just do that to me again'.
he ll reason with u and b careful to try that next time.


Beside, hope u av paying job and also the brainy (not rude) type??, he need to see reason why he should respect ur person.

shallom

I have told him I wasnt cool with it and then he said very soon he would bring his many friends to the house so i can cook for them all. I am not an unreasonable person. I really love my space because i am an introvert, going out of my way to do that means a lot to me. This is my second visit and I cooked the first time too.
I agree I should have served them water, but would it be much of a big deal if he does only that one.
He isn't trying to get to know me at all. It has been food and sex talk since day one. Do I have to base my respect for him on his kind of job too?

Vikky1425:

I have told him I wasnt cool with it and then he said very soon he would bring his many friends to the house so i can cook for them all. I am not an unreasonable person. I really love my space because i am an introvert, going out of my way to do that means a lot to me. This is my second visit and I cooked the first time too.
I agree I should have served them water, but would it be much of a big deal if he does only that one.
He isn't trying to get to know me at all. It has been food and sex talk since day one. Do I have to base my respect for him on his kind of job too?

Hmm. omoh, e b like say the guy no one gentle o. The best part of me is saying u should tell him u can't continue like this, tell him u are afraid of ur fate if ur early courtship days is like this. Something like an Irresponsible Man meet a responsible woman. So he doesn't know how to responsibly treat her.

at least he should b doing everything possible to kpatakpata pretend to b a good nigga.. ur status is still reading someone's daughter and not someone's wife. hence likely to get worse wen una marry..

Aunty , I don't wish bad for a nigga cox I b Man too but I ll advise u run if u are young and not desperate for marriage.

igbowoman:
One month relationship and you are already a maid being commanded up and down.Na wa o.
Isn't this the time when the man should still be all over you wining and dining you?
You are already pounding yam and cooking like say na mama put job dem put u with proposal of future cooking assignment for his mother.
My dear this one na bad market
3rd grade okirika na im u buy
Run away fast.This will get worse and 100X worse in marriage

[/quote]
Thank you
He smokes and drinks, he promised to stop. wants to bring his friends over so I can cook, because he likes people around him and he cannot buy food outside neither can he cook. I am just fed up. I'll call it quit. We are clearly not compatible. Toxicity is of different shades

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

set awon kitchen material

My question is how did you end up with this guy?
Seeing how you are just pointing out all his bad traits. What attracted you to this guy?
I hope it's not money, because if it is, then I'll say carry your cross.
This is someone you call your boyfriend yet you can't mention any good character.
Maybe what you'll say is 'he takes care of my bills that's why I love him'.


Back to your concern, many guys see food as something they can benefit from a lady in a relationship. It's something they look out for - a girl who can cook for them. So if cooking and giving him water is a problem, you'll have to find someone that is fine with sharing cooking duties.

Is age no longer on your side cos you sound a bit desperate?

Better wise up and know what you want and stick to it.

How you go give person food no water
And washing hand....
Very soon
You go serve rice without spoon.....

What's my own
I cook my food
Wash my cloths
Clean my house regardless if gf is present or not...
I dont to hear you still dump me after I cooked, washed and clean for u....

@OP... How do I say this....or let me present it in form of a question, ARE YOU STUPID?

Vikky1425:


Thank you
He smokes and drinks, he promised to stop. wants to bring his friends over so I can cook, because he likes people around him and he cannot buy food outside neither can he cook. I am just fed up. I'll call it quit. We are clearly not compatible. Toxicity is of different shades

He's a big red flag, I pray you're able to go through with your threat. he's a bullet, Dodge it!

Vikky1425:

Thanks. I will talk to him about it and observe him too.

There is no need for any talk. He has shown you in clear picture the content of his character. Your talk will not change his belief, disposition and views about the position of a woman in marriage.

The options you have is either take a walk now or learn to live like a maid if and/or when you marry.

You don't marry someone with the intention that he or she will change. That will be an injustice you do to yourself and unborn children.

I know you're probably in your 30's or mid 30's that's why you're trying bto force yourself to Endure and pretend that you're Wife Material, ... I Can Swear with my Balls if you were in your Early 20's or mid 20's, you would have dumped that Guy since you said the Relationship is barely one month according to you,

So Why the Pretence??... If you cant be Feminine in the Presence Of Masculinity,..better go and Find another Weak Man out there, am sure alot of them are Sliding in your Dm Daily

Vikky1425:


Thank you
He smokes and drinks, he promised to stop. wants to bring his friends over so I can cook, because he likes people around him and he cannot buy food outside neither can he cook. I am just fed up. I'll call it quit. We are clearly not compatible. Toxicity is of different shades

It even gets worse.
He smokes and drinks.Dont mind him he wont stop.If his mother couldn't make him stop na you you go do am?.
Will drink and beat the hell out of you,vomit and pee everywhere and want to have sex.Liver cirrhosis and lung cancer about to happen.You don't want to be a widow this young do you?.
Please run away.The second hand smoking you are inhaling is bad enough.Give him back his keys inmediately if he gave you his keys
I say run far far away.Run Vikky run

Vikky1425:

I have told him I wasnt cool with it and then he said very soon he would bring his many friends to the house so i can cook for them all. I am not an unreasonable person. I really love my space because i am an introvert, going out of my way to do that means a lot to me. This is my second visit and I cooked the first time too.
I agree I should have served them water, but would it be much of a big deal if he does only that one.
He isn't trying to get to know me at all. It has been food and sex talk since day one. Do I have to base my respect for him on his kind of job too?

You are serving him your body and food just after one month? What respect do you seek seeing that you gave it away yourself? Gosh! What is wrong with you?! What's the incentive here? Don't you have men (Fathers, Brothers, Uncles) in your life that can advise you?

My Sister, you can take my words to the bank; this guy will use and dump you. His friends already know the drill that's why there's no reason for him to lift you up nor cover your errors before them. You will come and go like the rest! If for some strange reason you end up with such a tactless and proud man, it will be a lifetime of misery.

Pfft!

Vikky1425:

It's not a fake story my sister I just got home now and cant stop thinking
I just dont want to share the chat we had before I went over to his place. He said him and his friend ate light food to sleep last night, I should have left my place earlier to come make them food

That man only needs a cook.Isnt this obvious to you yet?.I hope you havent been dickmatized yet.You dont need a face to face break up with this one before he wounds you .If you have your bathroom slippers or clothing there just go and collect it discreetly,go back to your place and send him a short text ,no long grammar.

" Hello Ofiafuluagu, this will not work out between us.It's been nice knowing you these 4 weeks.Take care and God bless".
Sincerely,
Vikky

Vikky1425:


Thank you
He smokes and drinks, he promised to stop. wants to bring his friends over so I can cook, because he likes people around him and he cannot buy food outside neither can he cook. I am just fed up. I'll call it quit. We are clearly not compatible. Toxicity is of different shades

More cooking assignments.
Apart from food, you will clean the house, go to the market, stock the fridge, do laundry and go lay on the bed to fulfil his sexual urges.
He gets a maid and a sex partner almost for free.
What does he bring to the table?

sholay2011:
@OP... How do I say this....or let me present it in form of a question, ARE YOU STUPID?

I am not stupid. I am happy what happened yesterday happened, it's an eye opener.

Vikky1425:

I am not stupid. I am happy what happened yesterday happened, it's an eye opener.

Get ready to cook your whole life. So both guys can't cook to save their lives. My friend. Is that how much value you place on yourself?

Vikky1425:

Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in private rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen sweating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all. I used 'disturbing me' because he kept asking me to come earlier than we both agreed, cos him and his friend are really hungry from eating bread last night.

I don't know where we are getting all this rights mentality from. All over the world if you're playing host you do it properly. I don't know why we support incompetence in Nigeria.
If you are serving anyone you provide him/her everything thing need. We are in Nigeria and the culture is that if you have a visitor to your house you serve him/her especially within the first two days no matter the relationship, even your daughter or son, unless the person volunteers to do the chores.
I don't see what is a big deal in someone who cooked a meal in serving it properly.

foreveryoung1515:
He's a big red flag, I pray you're able to go through with your threat. he's a bullet, Dodge it!

Not all bullet you can dodge

Hathor5:
I think the story is cooked up but let me give you the benefit of the doubt.

When you serve people food, you serve whatever is needed to enjoy the food along with it, be it water to drink, to wash hands, napkins or spoons. If you need someone (your boyfriend) to lend you a helping hand then you simply say "Babe, can you please get the water already?/ Would you please be so kind and get the water?/Can you help me a little please?"

Now I don't know how he asked why you didn't bring them water because the tone matters but the question is justified. Why not? If you feel that you should not bring water because you came to his place sweating then maybe you should not have come in the first place. Doing something for someone you care about should not feel like a sacrifice neither should it stress you. If for some reason his request is inconvenient, you can always say no for whatever reason. You are his girlfriend, not his slave. But please don't do anything and then complain. Give cheerfully or don't give at all. Do what you have to do properly or don't do it at all. If you can only do half, communicate why you want support.

Your choice of words is also revealing. You said that "since morning hes been disturbing" you. If he is such a nuisance, why are you two together?

What I find disturbing about your boyfriend though is that he wants you to cook for his mother at your first visit to his parent's house.

You're the only person that has sense, all the other posters before you were just spitting shit

Kudos to you

sparog:



You're the only person that has sense, all the other posters before you were just spitting shit

Kudos to you

Thank you. Some other people after me expressed similar views to mine though.

You better leave that your boyfriend because this is just the beginning.

Fake Account, Fake Story, Fake Post.....

greenmonk:

I don't know where we are getting all this rights mentality from. All over the world if you're playing host you do it properly. I don't know why we support incompetence in Nigeria.
If you are serving anyone you provide him/her everything thing need. We are in Nigeria and the culture is that if you have a visitor to your house you serve him/her especially within the first two days no matter the relationship, even your daughter or son, unless the person volunteers to do the chores.
I don't see what is a big deal in someone who cooked a meal in serving it properly.

lol but she was also a visitor. It wasn’t her house and she came from her own house to cook. Remember, this was also just a month old relationship and her second visit to the boyfriend’s house. There is nothing wrong in serving water with the food, in fact that is more appropriate but to berate her in front of people like a child is a big NO. One month relationship?? Anyways, people treat you the way you allow them to.

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

...
I think the issue here is - Understanding - You two don't understand each other lifestyle. He might have said that infront of his friends to showoff - yes - very common with guys; it's not pride, it's self-esteem.
My cousin do same to his babe almost every time but she have never for once complained rather she'll smile and apologize.
I can swear this two love eachother unconditional.
Nevertheless, I think you should have a pillow chat with him about the issue if you don't like it, then watch how he'll react to it.

NB: If you really value ya relationship with him. don't let this be an issue.
Thanks.

Raeheemwayne:

...
I think the issue here is - Understanding - You two don't understand each other lifestyle. He might have said that infront of his friends to showoff - yes - very common with guys; it's not pride, it's self-esteem.
My cousin do same to his babe almost every time but she have never for once complained rather she'll smile and apologize.
I can swear this two love eachother unconditional.
Nevertheless, I think you should have a pillow chat with him about the issue if you don't like it, then watch how he'll react to it.

NB: If you really value ya relationship with him. don't let this be an issue.
Thanks.

It’s very shitty to gain your self-esteem at the expense of someone else’s humiliation. Your cousin’s babe is likely pretending to have no issues with it, what will she do? Talk back and create a scene? No human being will like to be berated in the presence of people.

As a correct guy. Lemme open up 2u.

U ARE A SIDE CHICK