₦airaland Forum

Some african mothers are too mean atimes SMH.!

Guy, I think you need to go back to your mum when you know she will listen to you and convince her that you are not the one that took her money.
I think she is not aware that you make some money genuinely from home, probably she sees you spending some money she didn't give you and automatically whenever she misplaces her money, you become a suspect.

Secondly, if you depend on her, and still make your own money without her knowledge, she will not be happy with you if she finds out. So this might be a way to get rid of you. You have to be open to her, this will make her know that you don't steal and that you value her and appreciate being with her.

Sometimes, get her gifts from your own money.

Oluromantic:
21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

don't you know that many girls today have sold their sense to buy selfie stick



That one you replied probably sold her brain to buy hair attachment and her brain is now filled with relaxer and shampoo

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psy chology. I'll be 21 by November.

Go to your dad instead. Now you just learnt the bitter truth why your dad stays far off. Continue to grow your skill. November born? Greatness!

Being under your parental guidance has a lot to do especially at your age. Leaving her you might lose focus, get influenced and derailed. Let her be the one to throw you out first. Endure to complete your study. Pending your graduation, sharpen your skills. You have a brighter future so don't be in an haste to leave.

richAgnostic:
u are an idiot. the west environment is condusive for you to lrave the house even at 12. naija environment is not even condusive for adults with good payng jobs ,, now to talk of a 22 yo wey no get any back up/ stop talking rubbish publicly

I'm sure you saw "If" there.

OriOko88:
At what age did u leave ur parents house? Audio rants

OH well, I'm a lady sooo... Why the pain?

TheManOfTheYear:
you're talking off-point maami

me just talk my own

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

You think like a Ram!

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

you are very stupid for saying such to this boy.

Classworked:
A person may leave his parent's house by will , because of necessity or because of a desire for freedom a parent may not grant.

Leaving by will means the young individual packs up , moves out and struggles to earn a living without the support of his parents.

Leaving because of necessity means the individual has to get an apartment in a different town because he doesn't want to stay in his school's hostel (for formal education) or his master does not provide shelter for apprentices (for skill acquisition) . In this case family provides support and the lad may visit during festive periods. Technically, the Lad is still a dependent of his parents but doesn't live with them. Infact all NYSC students live alone for one year until their service year elapses and they cannot find a job. That's how graduates who once lived alone return to their parents .

Those who leave because of freedom leave to partake in illicit activities or to live together with the love of their lives especially when their parents wouldn't welcome such cohabitation.
*****************************************************************************

"The west" is vague and broad. In the United States, Students who leave "by will" usually do so because their parents cannot afford the cost of tertiary education. They get Students loans which they go to school with and live to pay for the rest of their lives if they do not get a big break. Such Loans are not available in Nigeria and many of those who take such Loans abroad would rather a Nigerian system where a member of their extended family sponsored their education.

An intelligent young man whose father owns a duplex in the town he works would rather a neat car than a
500k rent a year. Such wise person will build a house faster because he has utilized his scarce resources and at the same time enjoyed free food , free accommodation and restriction from cohabitating with a lover who may drain his resources. That's a wise economic decision.
I don't have a formal statistic to back this up but as a person from a family with few properties to rent and lease, I'll tell you that the best group of people to rent one's real property are Salary earners and people above the age of 25 in entrepreneurship. Through out my 10 years of understanding the landlord business there was no under -30 tenant from a poor family who paid his second rent on time.
It's not about saying you paid rent at the age of 15. The first rent is the easiest to pay. If you do not meet your landlord 1 week after its expiration, then you have no reason to shade those who have patience and a long term plan of leaving their parents when they "Can really" stand on their own.

It's not about leaving your parents , the poor and innocent Almajiri kids you all despise left their parents at even younger ages. The big question is if Nigeria offers same opportunities as the West. One wonders why we doubt the ages of our sportsmen.

Now this is a very enlightening piece. Thank you.

Danielkupiejo:
Do you have sense at all? Are you thinking with ur head or with wot is BTW ur legs. Abi u no read to comprehend ?

Can you actually make your point clear without coming across like a tour who's abode is in a motor park? Thx

Go and do yahoo maga pay you go zoom leave ur parents house

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Tough one mate.

Isn't there a way to talk to her about this? She is your mum, isn't she? I will say you inform her that you didn't take her money, but you are willing to give 2k for peace to reign.

Going to join friends might end up well or ill. Given that most reponsible people of your age stay with their guardians, I'd suggest you stay with a friend still residing with their guardians.

Theundertaker:
our parents only tell us the hard truth!! U think they hurting but speaking facts and want u to be a better person !!

Indeed.

Good luck bro

Born2Breed:
Seems you have not contributing anything to the household. Being a single parent ain't easy.

Just give 2k from your account and tell her you love her so much and will never steal from her.
You are praying to graduate and get a better job so you can take care of her forever.

Nonesense!! Why must he do that? He says he didn't take it and I believe him cause I know Nigerian women far too well to be illogical and petty.

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Don't leave. Just forget about the issue once the person who stole the money is found. It's not wise for you to go and start staying with a friend or rent an apartment at such tender age.


N. B: Pls how can i start writing and make money like you. You can contact me on whatsapp o7o six933six594

At 20 ones parents immediately feels one should start taking care of them.thats the case in Most homes. Inability to start feeding them, makes them to start maltreating one.
Meanwhile, ones secondary school education did not teach one how to be self employed , rather, memorising facts and definitions.....

Aboks:
If he still eats his mother's food at age 20 may be that's why she is complaining, I she doesn't even trust him

At 20 ones parents immediately feels one should start taking care of them.thats the case in Most homes. Inability to start feeding them, makes them to start maltreating one.
Meanwhile, ones secondary school education did not teach one how to be self employed , rather, memorising facts and definitions.....

Just one advise go HK before school resumes, that was how I did mine and I have two POS shop

queenitee:
To everyone saying "leave" have you considered the pros and cons? As bad as it may seem, staying is the best option for him right now. Times are hard during this pandemic, how's he going to survive with 19k for the first month? Don't forget he would need to get a place to stay. That aside, when he get back to school, I hope you know he would have limited time for writing and web designing, how then would he survive because leaving means his mother would cease to pay his bills.

I know you might go "but there are orphans in school, training themselves." You are right, but why must he put himself in such position when he has a chance of staying and his mother paying his bills and him saving whatever money he has for the future(makes NYSC and surviving after school easier for him).

And long as the only problem with his mom is accusing him when money get lost(which I believe can't be everyday) he can actually stay. Plus how mother is a single mom, have you perhaps consider the fact that the woman is frustrated and all? It doesn't justify her action, but I'm trying to say it doesn't make his mother a bad person, as long as she perform her motherly roles.

We all have days we wonder if our parents are really our parents and days our parents wonder if they really have birth to us.

But I agree with that part of forgiving his mother? Why would you not? It's robs you of your peace of mind self.

Good morning sir

Good morning queen. His mother said get out so I doubt she pays his bills, but even if she does, he'd leave if he's got balls between his legs, maybe not immediately, Covid and all as you say, but soon as.

I guess I am thinking, frustrated mother. She tells him to get out but he stays after negotiating to leave after lockdown. I expect she might nicely remind him once lockdown is lifted so he still has to leave, but imagine he stays. Won't he be tiptoeing around frustrated mother who would make his life hell whenever she sees him?

I'm sorry, but she is mother, and I had one. Ma once gave me ten naira and said leave because I was disobedient. I was 15, so it wasn't balls on my part, just the look in her eye said "buda! Go and be disobedient someplace else or I'll kill you myself", so I packed my stuff and went to her brother and cleared sawdust at his sawmill to finish school and pay for my first degree. Soon as lockdown is up I'm baking ma bread because my bread defrustrates her.

[quote author=BigJoe19 post=89609427]Donate your mother as Covid-19 relieve funD



Lol

I feel your pains if you are innocent. Firstly you have a difficult mother. A sure extreme is a man, running away from his home because of his wife with children. Only a reasonable man can do this, and that is why he is still caring about your welfare and education. Never contemplate leaving home, just appreciate your battered father the more for the treacherous wife he managed, before he could no longer cope. It is a great learning curve for you, and please grab it with open arms.

I made my first 100k at the age of 14, Bro We Need To Talk, I will open up your eyes, because i notice that you are still a KID.

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Write me on mail, I want to know more about you

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Wish I can take you in!

queenitee:
To everyone saying "leave" have you considered the pros and cons? As bad as it may seem, staying is the best option for him right now. Times are hard during this pandemic, how's he going to survive with 19k for the first month? Don't forget he would need to get a place to stay. That aside, when he get back to school, I hope you know he would have limited time for writing and web designing, how then would he survive because leaving means his mother would cease to pay his bills.

I know you might go "but there are orphans in school, training themselves." You are right, but why must he put himself in such position when he has a chance of staying and his mother paying his bills and him saving whatever money he has for the future(makes NYSC and surviving after school easier for him).

And long as the only problem with his mom is accusing him when money get lost(which I believe can't be everyday) he can actually stay. Plus how mother is a single mom, have you perhaps consider the fact that the woman is frustrated and all? It doesn't justify her action, but I'm trying to say it doesn't make his mother a bad person, as long as she perform her motherly roles.

We all have days we wonder if our parents are really our parents and days our parents wonder if they really have birth to us.

But I agree with that part of forgiving his mother? Why would you not? It's robs you of your peace of mind self.

Good morning sir

Hmmmm. Wisdom in everyword. People have been asking after you my dear. Hope you checked your mentions.


Glad to see your moniker here again. How are you?

You re an adult, you make money from opera, consider this her wish to make you a man.

Leave the house and be established.

If people cannot appreciate your presence, they must regret your absence.

If you succeed she ll come begging.

even pple that left home for school are claiming they left at the age of 18 despite their popcy still funding their rent

A lot has Bee said but here is my take: you are an undergraduate, right? Aim for a Good result focus and work hard. Don't leave now,life out there is not as easy as you think.

As to your mum,consider imitating this strategy - spacing. Give her space and try as much as you can to avoid any confrontation or argument with her.

Nysc is the perfect time to make the bold move.

Me I don't understand oo... Wait for her to throw you out if she has the mind... She's probably just upset and doesn't mean any of those things she's saying, If you must refund her the 2k from your money... Make it clear to her that it's from your money.. All those people advicing you to leave the house on your own are talking rubbish... I'm a 22 years old male and even if I have over 120k in my account balance... I've never thought about leaving... Let her throw you out herself, because later she'll deny it oo