₦airaland Forum

Good one. I am glad God saw your heart and heard your cries. I am also glad that you have forgiven him, but pls do not make the mistake of accomodating him. If you have enough dough, pay for a few days hotel bills for him and keep him there. He can come visiting but try to limit contacted. He is mean and not your friend by any standards. Such a person can frame you up just to prove a point.

Be wise!

Octopusssy:
You must specify. Which one is 'African country'? Which kain business you do wey fetch you 2m? Where did this good samaritan see you to house? Did you approach him or he approached you?

Guy your story is vague and unbelievable abeg.

Very good questions.... Shows you are observant and smart

I was also wondering too...N2m in 6months in an African country? Doing what exactly? So many loopholes

I feel like giving you a kiss as I like smart thinking people

cococandy:
Please don’t let him stay in your house.
You have forgiven him but be wise.

He’s clearly jealous. He’s coming to your house to see things for himself. You can’t predict what he will do after that.

take this advice.if u can,book a hotel for him.forgive him BUT forget him.he was never a friend,he is a green snake.

Op, as I've stated herein b4, since u've forgiven him, good and godly for those who offended us. What he is coming to ur place to do is to spy on you to know the secret of your success and to nail you or set u up that could lead to ur downfall. The greatest mistake you do is to show him ur house where you stay. Even ur dead perants will not forgive u from thier graves.

Do this. Hide ur place of stay, the business u do and act as if na ur friend's house u dey stay and the guy is not accommodating. That na money u dey look for to get a place a place of ur own. If he arrives Nigeria, help him get hotel nd pay 4 one night, far away from where u stay maybe another city outside ur state. Towards night, leave and tell him u see him next day. Never come back to pay. If he calls u on phone the next day, tell him u are out of town and don't know u gonna be back. Let him sort himself out. Never hang out with him for your own safety.

1EmmyKay:
Op better use your head.. People like that are toxic and can harm you even when u least expect. I've had a friend whom I allowed into my abode everywhere set.. Told him am lefting for school. So he could stay but just pay the rent and use my properties for free.. When he came in sef na only clothe he bring com d houx.. Bed chairs all furnished.. After a year baba show me way out oo.. Since then I believe people are just good or laugh with you cause they see somtin to tap.. Remove that thing from ur life they act like they never knew you.. So pls just don't have him in mind just free am.. E go better for everybody. Just dey ur dey.

We no understand wetin you write o.
He showed you out of your house or what?

berbs:
Wow. So sorry you had to go through all that. Anyways, it's all good. I'm here for you bro.

it all in the past, and these happened almost a decade ago. Thing are quite upward now, none of those chaps and i try to maximize friendships, and assist people as much as I can. Thanks for the empathy still.

idonhammer:
2milion naira in two months is even small...it is called soft work. Can u do it?

Wetin be soft work? Yahoo?

Lies everywhere in the country

lesson44:
I had close to your experience in America when I moved here 16yrs ago. Best friends eyes dey red because I needed them for the first time in our friendship. But I got my things together by God grace and I catch up with them and Overtake some. My advice is, be careful with how you deal with him if you decided to let him stay in your house. He can't stop your Shine in though.

So when you overtake them, wetin them come do? Them come be good friends again to you?

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

Rent hotel for him, don't allow him into your home oo, before he goes diabolical out of envy and run you down..
i don talk my own.
me i never get best friend before sha.

Op no vex oh,
Which work were you doing in the African country that you came over to Nigeria and continue?

xangerar:
I won't advise you to take him in. If you can afford it, show him good faith by lodging him in a guest house at least for two days and that would be enough.

Since 2006 till date, I live with a pain, and wished I never allowed a certain fellow remain my best friend after I realized his intentions towards me were not pure. I was afraid of losing a friend since I didnt have much friends, but for 10 years and more now, I look back and I wish I ended that friendship in 2003.

E yaah sorry o.
Share story give us make we learn nah.

Best friend are real but some supposed one are secret enemy. We should be careful before declaring someone our best friend. The one you see as your best obviously have other friends too and you might not be top of his priority. Sometimes, the signs are there to identify the hypocrisy of false friend but people ain't just sensitive enough to see it.

About your current situation, forgiveness shouldn't be restricted so forgive but be wise. Your experience has reveal the real nature of your friend. Someone who left you exposed and endangered when you were vunerable despite having the privilege to rescue you could do anything to you. In fact, don't let him get too close. Sometime, it is good to allow betrayal learn their lesson. If he want to see your condition, let him in then throw him out after his tour. In fact, if he plan to sleep over, you can openly give him excuse that clearly show you are rejecting him. Something like, "oh I will be leaving for a meeting now and please I will like to close my door so can you step out?

D guy fit even arrange boys make dem cum kill him or send thieves to his house.That his frd is wat we called enemy of progress.

PROPHETmichael:
I'm speaking as a prophet to you, dont let him come close to you talkless of sleeping at yours..e get why. I pray for you that May we not read your obituary on nairaland.

No allow him to come back and use u again....soft hearted idiot,its dis kind of people i dont pity when i hear dat his friend has killed him...is jst like saying u want to give him back the gun he wanted shooting u with.

slyfox35:
Thanks for this,my thoughts exactly, but I do not know how to tell him to back off,should I remind of him of what he did?

If you have money, just rent a hotel for him where he can sleepover. But don't bring him to your house or confide on him the secret to your success. A leopard doesn't change its skin color. Be wise!

slyfox35:
He’s a human being like you and me,I don’t think ethnicity has anything to do with the heart of man

First of all, who gave you the audacity to steal me name? There is and forever will be only one sly fox on this forum okay?

Secondly it is a well known fact that Igbos are the most callous, malicious and conniving people in Nigeria. I'm not saying all are like that but the average Igbo person is more likely to display these traits than say the average Yoruba person. You dig?

It's ignorant of you to say ethnicity has nothing to do with characteristics of people. It's like denying the average Yoruba person isn't dirty or the average Edo person isn't fetish. These are generalizations for sure, but there is some truth to them.

Letting him in might be the worst mistake OP... If he had the mind to do you such thing in a foreign land guess what is in his mind how he has seen you're doing well. That guys mind may be fill with evil and he is coming close again to attack you from the source. Just be careful and maintain your distance...

You want check out prophetic advice. Check below this post

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

He go kill you for inside dat ya apartment and vamoose back to his base.

Stupidity is what it is called for you to accept him. Switch of your phone and dont entertain him. He is Evil.
If I were you I won't even have replied him in the first place. What if you have died.

Forgiveness and stupidity are not the same

You go talk say I say so if you allow him.

I know when I am in a prophetic spirit.

No be joke

MrBigiman:
it all in the past, and these happened almost a decade ago. Thing are quite upward now, none of those chaps and i try to maximize friendships, and assist people as much as I can. Thanks for the empathy still.

That's good to know.

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

A reason a season or a lifetime. Figure out which one then do what you need to do. I personally would cut him off. I hope when you got back safely to Nigeria you thanked the person who took you in when you had nowhere to go!

This is just me. No need sugar coating the situation...just don't chat or pick his calls simple.

cococandy:
No need to remind him. He remembers quite well.
Just tell him no and that’s it.
I wouldn’t even be chatting with him if I were you.

Slyfox35, he is only coming to know what gave you money and how you survived. He may even poison you in the long run.

You must be crazy for even still chatting him.

Block that basstard on all channels immediately. He is not a friend but an enemy who is coming to destroy whats left of what he damaged before.

Mark my words.

Jetjacky:
I understand the feeling. I am sorry for what you experienced and happy you are rising above it!

Good goals. God help you make it happen!

Thanks

slyfox35:
Thanks for this,my thoughts exactly, but I do not know how to tell him to back off,should I remind of him of what he did?

Abegi let him get to Nigeria and tell him you are out of town to visit your family member or just switch off your phone. A word is enough for the wise abi

Lavisha:
your friend must be an igbo

Idiot

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

Oga if the story is real cut off from that guy
He didn't change anything
Jus wanna take advantage

ak22:
Remind him and if he Apologize then welcome him and do a little help that you can do. Do you know that if he didn't react to you that way you will still be with him and due to that you can still remain poor . but in all things let give thanks to God . but you don't tell us type of the work you are doing .

No be the guy help Op.

God, who is a Specialist at working out everything for the good of those who love Him, was the one that helped Op.

God is the one that turned a terrible situation around for good for the Op.
So Op owes God his gratitude, not his friend.

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

be wise my son.
the easiest way for your enemy to get at you is by apologizing, when you think everything is fine then he strikes.

Mizwisdom:
Where's the picture of the 2 million in your Akant? if you made that amount why did you return? una sabi lie

you no well

Forgiveness is a function of the heart, not necessarily of physical demonstration; especially one that has potential to cause grieve again.

When you forgive with your heart, keep the lesson in your mind in case emotion disguise as love. I'm sure you don't want to grieve your heart again.

He isn't really in need of your help, he only changed option because your condition is parasite friendly.

What if your condition didn't improve, do you think he would have shown same attitude?

Some people are naturally parasitic; their friendship isn't of the heart, watch them, they are always selfish and sometimes greedy.

He has found you useful again, he has no interest in your well being.

Be wise.