₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
For someone who went into debt just to bring his wife and kids abroad (I.e plane tickets), because visa fees are only a few hundred dollars a piece.
I wonder what he has that she will take from him in a divorce

Some of you are hilarious when you type long nonsense thinking it makes sense.

Ayomidate:
Lol, if you are not the OP then I really need not give u any response. When your sibling is treated the same way kindly keep shut. As for us we look out for the best of our family. If she wanted to bring him down she would have all these while and right now since they've both decided to invite the law into their home with him making the first move then let the law take its course.

cococandy:
For someone who went into debt just to bring his wife and kids abroad (I.e plane tickets), because visa fees are only a few hundred dollars a piece.
I wonder what he has that she will take from him in a divorce

Some of you are hilarious when you type long nonsense thinking it makes sense.

safarigirl:
your brother allowed himself become a victim.


Once a man beats a woman abroad, e no get defense again. Some women intentionally rile up their husbands, to achieve that, and your brother fell into the trap.

So many Nigerian men that allow their tempers ruin them in that abroad, forgetting that abroad is not Nigeria that you can do anyhow. I wonder if he would have beaten a white wife.

jameel6:
Though I know women are wicked and devilish, but I sincerely believe that the poster has done unspeakable things to this woman, no matter how a married woman with kids are angry or hurts your efforts to make amends would've softened her heart a little. My advice to you is to be calm, go on quite holiday with her and begged her for forgiveness for the sake of the children. My uncle in abroad lost all his properties to his wife cos of problem like this, now he is starting all over. May the good lord bless you.

monfizzy:
I’ve read all through the thread and this only strengthened my resolve not to get married anytime soon or best put marrying anyone who doesn’t welcome the idea of living in Nigeria while I visit annually aside. I’m a British citizen in my early 30’s seriously considering getting married but in a dilemma of trying to find a balance of either bringing my to-be wife to the U.K. or leave her in Naija with both having it own challenges. However, leaving a woman in Naija seem a lesser evil.

Not particularly surprised by this story coz I’ve had friends who made the mistake of bringing their spouse here all regretting, about 8 in 10 marriages of Nigerians who brought their spouse to the U.K. packed up within 1-3years. A friend is now a stranger in his home and gradually sliding into depression just after a year the wife moved here.

Surprisingly, any girl I get to talk to and give the impression that they’ll live in Naija expresses their discontentment with such arrangement, so they’re looking for who to use and move abroad and destroy their life. Maybe I should just marry a Caucasian and forget about my desire of getting married to an Igbo babe so as to avoid unfortunate stories like this. It’s well

Nonsoboy4life:
Is not a man and female fight...if he was your brother is that what u could come up with?

Ayomidate:
So this doctor is here again to tarnish the image of his wife. When will you rest Mr docki. You go from one blog to the other creating fake username to justify what you did to a loving and loyal woman. Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse. Good thing you moved her to the UK last year. How have you been treating her since she moved to the UK?

You don't allow her to work, the moment she picks a shift with her agency you run away from the house so she can stay with your three kids. Don't forget the first kid isn't hers but she cared for the kids and lied to immigration the kid is hers to bring the boy here. You kept using the boy against her in the UK to disrespect her and lie to the police. You put cameras all over the house because you were expecting her to beat the boy one day so you can file child abuse against her but God pass you.

Kindly tell this forum how your wife has not been able to have just £50 in her name since she moved to England because you don't allow her work. You don't even give her money for food rather keep the food in your own bedroom. Tell people here how you use to seize her mobile phone not to get in touch with her family and friends back home and you did not allow her to keep friends in England. You've broken her phone on two occasions in your Plymouth abode and she kept hanging on to the marriage to make it work.

Kindly explain to this forum how you login into her social media account to chat with her male friends by trying to be her to see if she is dating anyone. You are the same person using her email address opened on your laptop to contact social workers that everything is fine when she reported you. Have you also forgotten all the threats you made to her if she ever end your career here and how you will end her life. You were only lucky to make a first report against her which were all concocted lies and she was giving a retraining order. You can go ahead and get all the restraining order you want in the UK but very soon you will roast.

She kept quiet all these while to save your career as a medical doctor but don't worry as the evidences against you are quite overwhelming. You can keep running for the little time you have but just kiss your career goodbye. This lady don too suffer and it will soon be payback time. Everything you were able to get away with in Nigeria has been unravelled. This is England you know and not naija�

Keep writing your fantasy stories

generationz:
If he hates her so much why did he bring her to the UK?

To all those saying take her back to Nigeria and seize her papers, I never even thought of that cos my wife is not a gentle soul that you would just take to Nigeria and take documents from. She would make a lot of trouble if I did this, so that was never even on the table. I don't even care if she remains in this country as long as I have some peace in my life and my children are well looked after.

When I initially tried to get us to travel to Nigeria, it was to only to de-escalate the volatile situation, cos it was beginning to look like we were on a slippery slope downhill with the kids being very vulnerable and I thought that the initial shock of moving abroad, was what was getting to her and exacerbating her aggression.

More so, how can you forcefully whisk away an unwilling adult to the airport like a puppy, just to get them to travel to Nigeria with you. This lady had no intention to travelling even after initially agreeing and made me purchase a flight ticket.

She moved to the UK because they were somewhat settled after not seeing for like a year. She had a career in Nigeria as a medical practitioner as well. Family waded into their crisis and they believe its the best for the kids. Finally she does not believe he will be able to abuse her in a saner country. There was a memorandum of understanding he signed at the Nigerian human rights commission to stop abusing her. These reasons made her agree to leave her job and move to England with the kids. As you can see up there he has used another fake account to respond to me. I won't say much as he is already done for

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

jumpymonkey:
Please help me ask her o, her bull story not adding up at all.

tuneneabroad:
Hello young man. Your lies sounded familiar because you have come here before with different name. You agreed you used to be hot tempered. At what point did you change? I need to be frank here because you may not find anyone telling you the truth. I wish you could really swear by whatever you believed in, either Jesus Christ or native wise that your wife is always at fault. You have never seen anything good in your wife. It would also help us if you tell us how you met your wife and whether she was the first woman in your life. Can you also tell us that you dont have extra marital affairs in Nigeria before you left and when you got abroad? What kind of man are you, the one tied to her mother's apron string or the one that truly love his wife.
I am short of words for now but if all you have said are true, may posterity judge between you and the wife. But if you have come to this platform to tell us lies "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

We know people like you who likes punishing their wife by not allowing her to work, by not empowering her. Some of you are being controlled against your wife by your mother and your family members.

Except your story is purely and 100% true, you will never make it in live, no matter your position now. If you pull down your wife in the public, you will never grow in your endeavours in Jesus Christ's Mighty Name. Amen and all the curses in Deuteronomy 28 shall be your portion EXCEPT YOU ARE 100% INNOCENT in Jesus' name. AMEN

Don't look for anybody when your problems start. Oniro jatijati

EgunMogaji2:
Yeah it doesn’t work like that unless it’s a high priced individual that they’ve been looking for.

Badgers14:
E big like say dem just buy phone give you abi? Someone dont buy mb dash you and two of us are online throwing barbs right

Don't say what you dont know, so what you dont know dont kill you... this is a proverb.

Like I told you in my prior response, ask questions to know the real answers.. dont make up a narrative to satisfy your curiosity.

You don't even sound like someone that understands the system abroad and have seen or witnessed real cases. Again live what you dont know alone.

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.