₦airaland Forum

juwt find a way to burn her international passport and set her up so she'll be deported
you'll get 2 keep the kids

Coolcalmcollect:
get her deported back to Nigeria na, hide her documents and report a foreign alien in the country and have the bish deported. se bi she say she mad ni, show her say you craze pass am... I hate weak men o

Azzin!!! OP is weaker than his errection

Let's give him the benefit of doubt that he is under pressure and cannot handle such situations. But mehhhhn weak AF

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

I wanted to say plant a camera and capture her nonsense BUT u r winning already

etrange:
For all it's worth, I live in Canada. I don't argue that some women don't cause problems for their husbands. I am saying a lot of women still live well with their husbands after coming abroad so saying 'I hate Nigerian women' is sexist and over reaching. We men have our faults too. Some of us live in the Western world where women have equal rights with men and yet we try to subdue our women with the fear that they will be difficult to manage if allowed to explore. At the end, this makes them turn against us. A lot of homes are broken here cause some Nigerian men can't bear the slightest hint of equality. My point is, if the OP's wife is terrible (neglecting the dangers of one sided stories), then she should be criticized and not 'Nigerian women'. You don't bash all women cause of the action of some. If we treat men-related issues like this, nobody will like Nigerian men as well.

Why do you think Trump banned the entire Nigeria? When you repeatedly have the same kind of behaviour from a particular demographic, it is safe to generalise.

vickydevoka:
Brother you are the caus of your problem. U knw your wife still u insist of bringing her to abroad

Most importantly, he no dey hear word!

The scam has even deactivated his NL profile

WILLuKPquiet:
My guy arrange for a trip back to Naija with her.

Start beating the devil out of her life right from the Airport. Collect her traveling documents and damage them beyond repairs.

Keep your papers and fly back to your base.

My advice may sound odd because I don't know where exactly you are based. . But if what I said is possible and obtainable, do it.

Let me tell you about a dead colleague of mine. His story is almost same as yours.

Gbenga that is his real name. He was an artist.

He was in the UK for like four years. ( I am not really sure how long though) He later brought the wife over and Gbam! The problems started. His wife started becoming uncontrollable and all.

One day Gbenga left for work and forgot something. He came back and met a man in his apartment fucking the wife. My guy started problem with them and started beating the wife.

The wife's lover called the police on him while escaping. That someone was beating his wife at so so and so apartment. Police came and whisked Gbenga away.
To cut the long story short, Gbenga found himself in Nigeria. He tried to go back to no avail.

Before you know it, Gbega started showing signs of insanity and eventually ran completely mad. Three Years ago my guy died in UCH Ibadan when he was taken there for treatment.

The wife married one of his friends and life continues. Gbenga is dead but the wife remains in UK flexing

You see life?


Send that woman back by all means. You will take care of your kids in Nigeria when they are back.

Trick her to come to Nigeria and collect her traveling documents and burn them. I pray you won't end up like my guy Gbenga.

Take care

Maybe Gbenga reincarnated and came back as this muthafucking OP because he does not learn

atoleybaba:
Just seeing this thread and it reminded me of what a Nigerian lady that was in the u.s illegally did for my late Aunty's husband ooo... Baba wanted to remarry, he saw this "innocent girl" she even called us and talked to us on phone(Jesus she sounded us nice) even promised to care for my late Aunty's kid. Few months to the marriage, they found out that she has a bf and only got married for the paper so she can bring her guy in. The funniest thing was that the stupid girl started holding this man on ransom, seized his passport and left the home for some time, when she is around dares the bro to do his worse and point fingers at him that he can't do her nothing.....thank God the worse is behind him and they have divorced each other and she has married whoever she wanted to marry. Something that is certain is she will reap the consequences of her actions in the future. One thing is to tell the person about what you're planning to do and another thing is to be dishonest about your plans and causing heartbreak and problems

You see those 20 Nigerian men that killed there wives abroad. Those are real men!

Hathor5:
@bold


In all fairness I have to say that many Nigerian men, even on this forum, disapprove of and condemn domestic violence.

Lol where??

This isn’t condemning domestic violence,

“I don’t support domestic violence o, but...”
then go on to tell the woman to forgive and stay in her marriage and try not to provoke the husband too much that being a man is not easy.

Many Nigerians (men and women) believe if a woman talks back during an argument, a slap or a belt like on the thread I read yesterday, is not out of place. Only TWO people on that thread commented it wasn’t normal for a husband to belt his wife.

Nigerians only care about DV when the victim is dead or very visibly battered. That’s when everybody will remember their favorite phrase “why didn’t she leave?” When a wife is being slapped around or beaten sometimes most people don’t view it as DV, it’s normal in a marriage.

The truth is, here in the US, most Nigerian women don’t report DV, they are still bound by the Nigerian culture of silence. Most times, it’s a neighbor, a school teacher, a co-worker that reports and 9/10 the woman always declines to press charges. It’s always sad to see it.

newride:
Please send her back to nigeria.. With style.. Am very angry. As for your gra gra.. My brother everybdoy get their own for body...

You will be surprise that shes already planning to date one white guy their.. Dump your kid for you..

Ao before that time. Be wise..

Don't just send her back. Pretend to want to help her get back to the US, set her up as a drug mule and allow the DEA take over

EDGEof2MORO:
Maybe Gbenga reincarnated and came back as this muthafucking OP because he does not learn

I tell you!

There are some things you don't even need anyone to tell you before you know what to do. No woman treats me like that. I would find a way to make us come back to Nigeria. Divorce the bastard before I leave after destroying her papers.

Let her do all the juju in this world against me.

jullikay:
I thank God for you. I can relate well, when it comes to relationship abroad, especially with African women. I am experiencing something very similar to this now, the difference is that my wife and children have been living abroad before joining them. I left a good banking job in Nigeria, I think I will share my story later. My advice to you is that please don't look back, go ahead with the divorce. African women have destroyed a lot of men because the laws favour them abroad.

I hope you wouldn't open a new profile to hide your identity. Tag us when you start your thread

ghettochild:
Bro I dey feel ur pain already..
First thing first.. Sell that house if it yours....
I repeat.. Sell that house..
She taking advantage of the environment she is in.. And has told u she will end ur career... First off sell ur house....
Cos at the end of every u leave that house for her oooo..

I’m afraid if they’re in the U.K. he can’t sell the house. She can approach the courts to secure an injunction stopping him from selling the property. A friend in the U.K. wanted to sell a property after his marriage started having cracks the wife now ex went to the court in defence that the house is their kids inheritance and should it be sold their kids will be rendered homeless and court granted her injunction restraining him from selling the property or any assets in the U.K. The West is a mess for men.

My advise for any man is to ensure their wife remain in Nigeria and never file for them to move to their base otherwise they’re done for life or marry at their base even if na oyibo. It’s only about 2 in 10 marriages that survive beyond 3years and the 2 that survive will mean the man has to be a doormat for these women.

Like my big bro will advise me anytime I think of going home to marry and he’ll be like...why do you think any girl will prefer to marry you that lives faraway as against guys that lives nearby her? Are you a golden boy?. It’s all a means to an end and forget all the good character they display...it’s all deceit.

neonly:
Record everything that happened in d house
Destroy her pass port
Put a very little amount of drugs in her food constantly so in case she get tested she be a drug addict
I can tell u more
But no woman get to mess with me after all my struggles

I like people like you, we should start a WhatsApp group

igbowoman:
I have read up to page 7 and feel sorry for this guy.
All the people saying send her back or trick her to naija sound like immature children,shows you the mentality of the African man where women are seen as pieces of furniture.
I feel for this guy
Even if he decides to divorce which seems to be what he is doing it will cost him.she will most likely get her own lawyer and he will also pay for her lawyer.
Make sure you check through the contract with the lawyers and how they are billing you or you will have a huge bill on your hands.
Most sensible men just allow her take what she demands so they can make it snappy to cut costs and move on.
This is not an easy road but seems to be the only sensible one.
My heart goes out to the innocent children in this mess.I can only imagine the trauma they are going through. God protect them from any damaging long term effects.

Is she not behaving like a piece of furniture? Send her back to naija jor! Nonsense and ingredients!!

EDGEof2MORO:
I like people like you, we should start a WhatsApp group

I'm in. Please start the group abeg.

amliftedhigher:
I don't think is a tale. My friend is suffering the same thing now in Texas because of his witch mother in law whom he brought to the US to assist during omugwo. As I am talking to you now. The wife leaves differently with her mother. The story is very long oh. It started in Aba Abia state. The young man thought that the wife and mother have repented

Aba? If I talk now nairaland would say I am racist/tribalist.

The biggest mistake any rich young man can make today is to marry a girl from a poor family in Abia state, especially the ones that have no father in the home.

Trust me on this one guys

She wants to destroy you so you have to divorce her in order to stay alive.

You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

Bros abeg no vex I. Is she from Ogun state?

djon78:
Again this is a very false narrative.
Contracts is a serious binding thing in the west. There is rule of law and respect for agreement over there.
All the men I know that signed prenuptial agreement won there cases.

Preach brother!! Tell them!!!

EDGEof2MORO:
Why do you think Trump the entire Nigeria? When you repeatedly have the same kind of behaviour from a particular demographic, it is safe to generalise.

Then Nigerian men are all unfaithful, rapists and fraudsters. We should all hate Nigerian men.

Flairoqy:
Would you have said same thing about religious extremists?

And why not? Do I come across as someone swayed by religion?

eyinjuege:
You were right.
I was almost deceived by the OPs narration of the story.
I also wondered why he just glossed over his own misdeeds by only saying I am not a saint, but it didnt just register in my mind to question it.
This NL sha.
People will just bring up stories and if you hear the other side you will wonder if it's the same story.
Why do people want sympathy or advice from strangers but they won't say the truth but give an embellished version?

Thank you!

Sarang:
Exactly! He probably treated her like trash in Nigeria and still is and came here to cry foul

Thank you.

Sarang:
You are a good mahn and there is no way on earth with this good head on your shoulder that you will not have a good marriage

Lol... thanks ma'am!

etrange:
And why not? Do I come across as someone swayed by religion?

That'll be all, thank you for your stereotypical ideology.

The system has already identified the abusive person and dealing with it accordingly

eyinjuege:
You were right.
I was almost deceived by the OPs narration of the story.
I also wondered why he just glossed over his own misdeeds by only saying I am not a saint, but it didnt just register in my mind to question it.
This NL sha.
People will just bring up stories and if you hear the other side you will wonder if it's the same story.
Why do people want sympathy or advice from strangers but they won't say the truth but give an embellished version?

Truthspoon1:
it is ideal for a husband to also speak well of his wife before condemning her but it is not realistic. At this point there is no love only hate, everything he sees about his wife is wrong. Her mistakes become exaggerated and he becomes blind to his own. If at any point he begins to see his own shortcomings then the problem would have been half solved.

What he needs is a therapist not online opinions from a faceless forum. Too bad he already filed for divorce.

I agree with you. My point is that the story is just extremely biased. There's a problem in the family, he summarised his own part with "I'm not a saint" and then went on to detail the lady's bad deeds. Well, the lady is not a saint too. If you're going to detail her bad deeds, detail yours too. We want to know how "you're not a saint".

Well, another person that knows the family has come to share the lady's sided of the story. That's balanced it out. It's only sad that it came late.

[s]

Charly68:
Quote me;the power from your village are bent to cause you the headache ..what both of you need is deep prayer..the nonsense will stop if you can pray but in abroad, unfortunately Govt is seen as god..so you guys are blind to tje realities of spiritual warfare .

[/s]

Rubbish

Yeah, I guess you are a saint and have never wronged anyone in your life. Mr holier-than-thou

etrange:
I agree with you. My point is that the story is just extremely biased. There's a problem in the family, he summarised his own part with "I'm not a saint" and then went on to detail the lady's bad deeds. Well, the lady is not a saint too. If you're going to detail her bad deeds, detail yours too. We want to know how "you're not a saint".

Well, another person that knows the family has come to share the lady's sided of the story. That's balanced it out. It's only sad that it came late.

Wow! front page....

I read a few comments posted by some trolls who claim they know me and are threatening to update the blog when they have finished bringing me down. Well, if your claims are indeed true, there is nothing to worry about then. Let us all allow an unbiased legal system to deal with the situation while both parties present all evidences they have. It's so funny how people don't know when to advise parties embroiled in a toxic marriage to move on peacefully, instead of triggering them further to take disruptive steps that could ruin the lives and future of some innocent children who were not there when they were happily shagging.

Whoever you are, remember this and inform my toxic ''soon to be ex-wife'' that...

‘BEFORE SETTING OUT FOR REVENGE, FIRST DIG TWO GRAVES: ONE FOR YOUR ENEMY AND ONE FOR YOURSELF'

Why did you deactivate Mr. OP?

OFEMANUGURUMARA:
Yeah, I guess you are a saint and have never wronged anyone in your life. Mr holier-than-thou

Sorry, what's your point? How did you get to this conclusion and name calling?

Karda20:
I was very furious at the beginning but that "update" gladdens my heart. Everyone should know this: No one has the right to make your life miserable unless you give them the permission to do so. If anyone try to make your life miserable, cut them off.

This guy is a chicken. Don't be surprised if his wife bullied him to write the "update"