₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
You're definitely on edge dude...how can you contradict yourself in a singular sentence? Fictional daddy...who is able to let things happen. If He's so fictional then he shouldn't have the ability/power to make things happen nau . It is well.

Anyways, may there be calm in the land. May whatever is annoying you ease up....may peace be our lot. Happy Sallah.

sisisioge:



I have already mentioned before that spelling bee was never my show. I will adjust...thank you.

simbated:
Not too late to go back to school. We need people who can spell in the society

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

To sort this out permanently, find a way to bring her back to Nigeria, make sure your kids are left there. Make sure you buy a return ticket for yourself too but one way for her, once you enter Naija collect her passport and find way to vamos before she gets the wiser, cut off all communication and if you can change your location abroad, you will have PEACE

Johnsown1:
I suggest you try this list out

1:Try to apologies to her if in any way that you have offended her that you forgot even if you have to cry out blood for her to forgive you; for a peaceful home.

2: I swear you might not survive it here (9ja) again if you ever return to street empty handed.

3: since she is ready to destroy your career, i think you should contact your lawyer for a temporary separation for up to 5 years and you pay for her upkeeps.so that you can sort your black ass out.

3: the last on my list is to find a way to bundle her to Nigeria.

Flairoqy:
Was an actual compliment not a critic in any form.
Maybe I perceived the word from a different point of view and misused it but not limiting the word "stereotype" to a particularly just group of people or beliefs rather with idea which may be factoid (Not entirely true) like saying "You don't judge a whole group of people for the sins of one man" but the opposite perception rather do that because the opinion is subjective. So we both share the same view, which I believe is our own stereotype on this particular point of view.
But I stand to be corrected, as I am only learning how to be versatile with words and thoughts. Thank you

EDGEof2MORO:
Yes

Luckymama:
God bless you real good sir. Your kind of man is rare. At Oga OP with the Jezebel wife. Check yourself by yourself. Can you honestly say you treated your wife like this gentleman?

Instead of exercising genuine headship and leadership in the home by [/b] building your wife up emotionally and psychologically [b] you were busy doing gragra.

Thank God you have gotten rid of this Jezebel wife you have. When you marry the perfect abroad angel, please continue doing gragra with her Nigerian style. You will always get the result of what you sow.

etrange:
I'm a bit confused. Actually, you knocked me off, lol.

Here is what I understand:

You think not judging people or a group of people by the activities of a few could be said to be stereotypical to us since it is, in a sense, a common trait that could be used to generalise our personalities, right?

Deep. That's an idiosyncratic way of thinking, quite intriguing.

But who are we? I mean, stereotyping is always with respect to a named group of people, right? A stereotypical politician is a thief (the named group here is 'politicians'). A stereotypical Jamaican like partying (the named group here is 'Jamaicans'). A stereotypical lawyer is a liar (the named group here is 'lawyers'). So when you talked about stereotyping above, what group or type of individuals were you referring to? Who are we?

You are right bro, I had plenty gra gra back in Naija and I think she has psychologically programmed herself before arrival to come take her pound of flesh here. There is complete breakdown of communication with her family as they are on her side, always encouraging her to call the police on me. All they say is ''No gree for am o, he think say na Naija he dey. Show am well well, you have rights there and the govt. would support you''

etrange:
So do you hate Nigerian men?

OFEMANUGURUMARA:
Whether you're deceived or not, the system has already identified the abusive person and dealing with her accordingly. Many men in his position have not been so lucky and have suffered and have been brought down from false malicious accusations by their toxic wives. God is already fighting this man's battle cos his heart is pure. He has not claimed to be a perfect person or anything, so quit the judgement. All men have their flaws. Abusive men abroad don't get away with their crimes. So you can keep hating and being judgemental. This does not negate the fact that this good spirited man has been vindicated and would travail over his trials

Flairoqy:
Best described as free thinkers, or maybe something more specific I don't know a word to describe it, maybe there's isn't a word for it yet because in the real sense, we don't exist as a body of people or organization, just rational set of individuals.

etrange:
I see. That's interesting. You remind me of my "brother" who is also a programmer like myself as well as - permit me to borrow your words - a "free thinker". In the course of advising him sometime ago, I said, "... and we are all different and unique". Then he laughed and said to me, "it means no one is actually unique".

EDGEof2MORO:
Yes

igbowoman:
Yes
There are 2 sides to every story especially man and wife stories.
The bottom line is that the relationship was bad from the very beginning and is now toxic and they need to go their separate ways before someone dies

Flairoqy:
The probability of ever meeting an equal level of cognitive mind like yourself is probably 1/9999, but like minds exist.
Actually no one is unique.
Nice having you around, and I'd like to keep in touch too.

EgunMogaji2:
Hold the press.

“ Why not tell them on this forum how you use to beat your wife black and blue in Nigeria. Why not tell them on this forum[b] how the police has arrested you on various occasion in Nigeria[/b] for beating up your wife. Remember to also let people hailing you on this forum know how you have a case with the human rights commission back home over your senseless beatings and abuse.”

If this is true, which I have no way of telling, but why would she then still move to U.K. with her alleged abuser?

jumpymonkey:
The OP has never been arrested in Nigeria or abroad. Post your proofs and lets expose these things in the open totally. The toxic sister of yours has been using law enforcement to harass her husband for a long time even before moving to the UK. She used the National Human Rights Commission in Nigeria to harass him after a minor argument and sent a copy of the petition to his boss instead of directly to his address, just so he could lose his job. This failed as the OP had a good relationship with his boss, and it did not affect him at all. The OP's wife apologised within 48hrs and withdrew the spooky allegations from NHRC as she had no evidence that what she had claimed happened. She later confessed to the OP that day stating that she had been behaving irrationally for a while cos she is cheating on him and this was why she went to the extreme to do this. She asked for forgiveness and called everyone to beg on her behalf, which the OP with a large heart forgave her. I can post all proofs here if you want since it's ''wash your dirty linens in public'' day.

The toxic wife's actions back in Nigeria is what was responsible for her being left in Nigeria for that long (2years) by the OP cos he was scared of bringing such a troublesome wife abroad. It took many people's intervention and the sentiment for kids for him to do this.

jumpymonkey:
Lies from the pit of hell. The OP has never been arrested in Nigeria or abroad. Post your proof lets expose these things totally. The toxic wife has been using law enforcement to harass her husband for a long time, since Nigeria days. She used the National Human Rights Commission in Nigeria to harass him after a minor argument and sent a copy of the petition to his boss instead of directly to his address, just so he could lose his job. The OP had a good relationship with his boss as this did not affect him at all. The OP's wife apologised within 48hrs and withdrew the spooky allegations from NHRC as she had no evidence that what she had claimed happened. She later confessed to the OP that day stating that she had been behaving irrationally for a while cos she is cheating on him and this was why she went to the extreme to do this. She asked for forgiveness and called everyone to beg on her behalf, which the OP forgave her. I can post all proofs here if you want since it's wash your dirty linens in public day.

The toxic wife's actions back in Nigeria is what was responsible for her being left in Nigeria for that long (2years) by the OP cos he was scared of bring such a troublesome wife abroad.

She moved to the UK because they were somewhat settled after not seeing for like a year. She had a career in Nigeria as a medical practitioner as well. Family waded into their crisis and they believe its the best for the kids. Finally she does not believe he will be able to abuse her in a saner country. There was a memorandum of understanding he signed at the Nigerian human rights commission to stop abusing her. These reasons made her agree to leave her job and move to England with the kids. As you can see up there he has used another fake account to respond to me. I won't say much as he is already done for

cococandy:
Are you the OP?

“I’m not a saint”

Mindlog:
Newly registered username, another tale.

cococandy:
Are you the OP?

“I’m not a saint”

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

sassysure:
You caught him too


He used another moniker to post what I qouted as reply to egunmoji but quickly retracted when he noticed that egun was neutral or more on his side and posted nawa o.

Now he has used another moniker to post the same thing
I have encountered this guy 2017 or 8. So hostile and ready to fight anybody who don't agree with him. He almost ate me alive when I gave a small advice and I just left his thread for him.

cococandy:
One thing is certain, he’s not an unbiased contributor.

He obviously has something very very PERSONAL against the lady and her family. Which only makes sense if he’s the OP. Or at the minimum he’s the OP’s relative. In fact I don’t see a relative carrying someone’s matter on NL for head like this. Means he must be the one and only OP.

The Aggression Also fits some of the description from the woman’s side.

OP I wish you guys a civilized divorce. Try to co-parent maturely both of you. OP wife if you’re still reading, don’t let relationships between kids and parents go sour please. and stop being violent please. Thanks y’all.

gentlemate00:
Does it matter madam Candy?

jumpymonkey:
I know the both of them very well. I am one of those people who warned against bringing this toxic wife cos we got tired of their constant issues. Since the toxic wife decided to create a moniker and her toxic siblings joined in, I have a duty to expose her. If you know what I know, you'd be disgusted. I am definitely biased and on the OP's side. Bite me!