₦airaland Forum

liberalchick:
No, I didn’t marry the wrong person. I am just being realistic, living with someone for the rest of your life will not always be romantic and easy. There are different stages in marriages where it’s excellent, good, bad, sometimes ugly and then neutral.

Also, sometimes when people say their marriage is easy, sometimes it’s one sided, they are probably oblivious of their partner’s sacrifice to make the marriage an easy one for them.

@bold is so true.
Especially if they have fixed roles. One person may have their side pat down and doesn’t realize the other person is struggling to meet up to their end of the bargain.
Or they don’t realize their partner doesn’t like the sex (for example). And to them everything is fine

Dyt:
The sex part
We get old
Tired and can't learn new things
How do we keep it going considering how it was when we started?

I corrected my post. It’s 6 going on 7
I don’t know where I’m rushing to.

Keeping an open mind about the sex I guess

When I was younger I thought it would be a bad marriage if the husband and wife don’t have sex everyday. Cos you’re supposed to be attracted to each other all the time bla bla bla.

But you grow and learn each other. And you realize that if you’re both happy and content, whatever route you took to get there even if it doesn’t fit the ideal romance is a good one.

cococandy:
I corrected my post. It’s 6 going on 7
I don’t where I’m rushing to.

Keeping an open mind about the sex I guess

When I was younger I thought it would be a bad marriage if the husband and wife don’t have sex everyday. Cos you’re supposed to be attracted to each other all the time bla bla bla.

But you grow and learn each other. And you realize that if you’re both happy and content, whatever route you took to get there even if it doesn’t fit the ideal romance is a good one.

Na the sweetness dey make you rush
You know I actually see old couples
40years together
52
And I am like do they still Do?


It isn't all about sex sha
The romance cuddles
There are so much more intimacy than chooking

Dyt:
Sometimes we all need sense
Don't you think you need more?

If I add any more sense to the one I'm already blessed with, I might just run mad.

crackkhaus:
If I add any more sense to the one I'm already blessed with, I might just run mad.

The humour part isn't hard to acquire
You should try that route

Hmmmm....definitely sounds scary and fun at the same time. If he's truly your friend, it would be more fun than scary. I know two people who got married as besties....they are still going strong now even though they've had their share of struggles.

Do it baby!

babythug:
RE: How has it been with those married for 5years and counting? the joy, feeling, the tears, the arguments, the sex, I mean all of it....“

I’ve not been too lucky so far! Many dashed expectations and turbulent times through the marriage and even though now we are on a somewhat cruise control I can’t say I feel joy or peace at being here.

There are children and financials to consider hence why I’ve not moved on as it were!

But now I feel marriage is a game of chance and what you see is literally what you get. Some are able to get it right with a few tweaks here and there but for some
Despite best efforts it just won’t work.

For anyone looking to delve in , I’d just say give it your best shot and what will be will be !

Hmmmm...

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....definitely sounds scary and fun at the same time. If he's truly your friend, it would be more fun than scary. I know two people who got married as besties....they are still going strong now even though they've had their share of struggles.

Do it baby!

The groom is probably still telling one small gyel he can't do without her

You’re right.
Just lying down silently beside each other can get more intimate than sex.

Dyt:
Na the sweetness dey make you rush
You know I actually see old couples
40years together
52
And I am like do they still Do?


It isn't all about sex sha
The romance cuddles
There are so much more intimacy than chooking

Dyt:
The humour part isn't hard to acquire
You should try that route

Seems you're the one lacking in the humour department going by your previous triggered response.

crackkhaus:
Seems you're the one lacking in the humour department going by your previous triggered response.

You need a massage bro
Particularly on the head too

Dyt:
The groom is probably still telling one small gyel he can't do without her

Layelaye...

Really, be sure you two are on the same page first biko. That friendship almost guarantees peace and keeps other variables alive. We have a way of knowing these things if we really look. Sex, love, money, looks...aren't enough. Bobo that turns you to a fountain now by just looking at you may not even be able to flick your switch in 6months time if his wahala becomes too much

Also, consider a not too expensive Aso ebi o abi ke a Zoom attendance for we committee of well wishers

Dyt:
You need a massage bro
Particularly on the head too

You need some tickles sis
Particularly on the ass too

sisisioge:
Layelaye...

Really, be sure you two are on the same page first biko. That friendship almost guarantees peace and keeps other variables alive. We have a way of knowing these things if we really look. Sex, love, money, looks...aren't enough. Bobo that turns you to a fountain now by just looking at you may not even be able to flick your switch in 6months time if his wahala becomes too much

Also, consider a not too expensive Aso ebi o abi ke a Zoom attendance for we committee of well wishers

Please find the groom and choose a very colourful aso ebi
Like pepper mint rona green

Not ignoring the fact of compatibility in your text
**top-notch**

crackkhaus:
You need some tickles sis
Particularly on the ass too

I just shivered

**why you do that bro**

Dyt:
Please find the groom and choose a very colourful aso ebi
Like pepper mint rona green

Not ignoring the fact of compatibility in your text
**top-notch**

Fockless girl!


But really...really really... Nice.

sisisioge:
Fockless girl!


But really...really really... Nice.

I lurrrr ya

Dyt:
I just shivered

**why you do that bro**

You asked for it sis

Dyt:
You probably wouldn't have met a better narcissist

Don't get me started

You don't seem to be narcissistic. Narcissists are actually insecure and compensating.

Plead:
This religious fanatic won’t stop displaying his stupidity all over the forum.

Most members of this graveyard have a knack for being foolish and mindless. I hold this viewpoint for two reasons as it concern this thread. First, the op invited only married people to share their experiences in marriage. Two, nowhere was an invitation given for theoretical hocus pocus, by those who believed they have the answer to marital challenges, even while they are unmarried.

Hathor5:
You don't seem to be narcissistic. Narcissists are actually insecure and compensating.

excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance

Dyt:
excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance

Makes you vain, not narcissistic. It takes more to be narcissistic. I want to believe you are not narcissistic and if you are let me be a fool because I don't want to think negatively of you.

Hathor5:
Makes you vain, not narcissistic. It takes more to be narcissistic. I want to believe you are not narcissistic and if you are let me be a fool because I don't want to think negatively of you.

You are totoring me


I known there's more to being a narcissist but I just choose to be the lover of myself in my own self appreciation and not extending it to the full definition

However, you are loved right here *touches my heart**

liberalchick:
An ‘easy’ marriage is not common even for those in-love. Sometimes I think the concept of marriage is unnatural but necessary. If I am single again (knock on wood) in the future, I wouldn’t want to get married again. Marriages has its ebbs and flows. The first two years are difficult for obvious reasons. Then marriage challenges in year 8 (that’s generally the time most marriages hit a wall).

DH and I are in cruise control now, children are getting older, careers are taking off with more responsibilities. If you make it past year 7-8 unscathed, you are good.

Just a quick question, where you and your spouse exposed to books on marriage before marriage and during the marriage

I believe knowledge has a role to play for a successful marriage.

Carchoice:
My sister, I thought it was only me that is feeling this way. My worry now is, after marriage, how can I just automatically stop admiring fine asxs and buubs. I can’t see that happening. It’s a future impossible occurrence.

Hmmm, how would you feel is your spouse does other wise to you? Men are sometimes too selfish, they want to do stuff to their spouse, same shit they can't take themselves.

You spouse should be your focus. Anything outside that can lead you to a path of unfaithfulness to your spouse

Plead:
This religious fanatic won’t stop displaying his stupidity all over the forum.

Cant u just read and pass. Nawa 4 u oo

Dyt:
Your house

OK. No need for the attitude.

Since you didn't clarify, be informed that you can't and shouldn't be in a 'class' with 'kids' at this critical time until further directive.

Nnaabros:
OK. No need for the attitude.

Since you didn't clarify, be informed that you can't and shouldn't be in a 'class' with 'kids' at this critical time until further directive.

I can be in a class without being physically present sire

How do you do?

cococandy:
Married for 6 years going on 7.

I must tell you that the timeline people prescribe for certain things is often not the same for everyone. So the peak of your romance may not be when you expect it. Your difficult times may not be a the very beginning. Etc

What surprised me most is the inevitable fights you’re told that you’re supposed to be having. That may never happen depending on your temperament. So you may find yourself having dull boring disagreements that you won’t even know when it’s over. But nothing explosive that requires hot make up s*x like the romance books describe .

Absolutely! I should have highlighted that in my post. The timeline is not applicable to every marriage. Also, was going to grad school for the first three years of my marriage, juggling marriage, kids, and a hectic grad school was challenging. Going into marriage and everyone telling me the first few years are growing pains kinda helped me not freak out too much and settle into it.

Dyt, it wasn’t my intention to be all doom and gloom lol, that’s not reflective of all marriages and mine. I was just trying to be as honest as I can. I would definitely not trade my family for the world.

liberalchick:
Dyt, it wasn’t my intention to be all doom and gloom lol, that’s not reflective of all marriages and mine. I was just trying to be as honest as I can. I would definitely not trade my family for the world.

I totally get you

Family is everything

I loved your contribution.
It was true to you

liberalchick:
Absolutely! I should have highlighted that in my post. The timeline is not applicable to every marriage. Also, was going to grad school for the first three years of my marriage, juggling marriage, kids, and a hectic grad school was challenging. Going into marriage and everyone telling me the first few years are growing pains kinda helped me not freak out too much and settle into it.

Dyt, it wasn’t my intention to be all doom and gloom lol, that’s not reflective of all marriages and mine. I was just trying to be as honest as I can. I would definitely not trade my family for the world.

Dyt:
What is Before, In Between and After?

Yeah we all know marriage is an institution between 2 persons with the aim to have offspring and companionship, but is this all we see and make of it?

I am a person that believes in relationship/marriage and tries to go far in making it work well except when it starts to affect my mental health (i cant go mad all in the name of i want it to work)

Some say marriage is easy while some say its a hard work, we all have different opinions..
I for one been married before, it didnt work not because i couldnt try but (my choice anyway)

I am considering going into another and all the things that we do that counts now may not in few years, I mean the sexiness, the kamasutra and all, well ofcourse i am not just gonna be offering just sex, we both got more to keep us going for a 100years to come (my favourite part is the friendship and companionship)...

I am scared sometimes waking up to him every other day and same way it excites me

How has it been with those married for 5years and counting? the joy, feeling, the tears, the arguments, the sex, I mean all of it....

I still feel so restricted, even though I've been married for going on 10yrs now. . . And my husband is one of the most liberal Nigerian husbands I know . . Yet I feel caged, and sometimes find myself wishing I was single and free . . . I wonder if that will ever end!

You've been married before, why do you even want to go there again? If my marriage ever ends, I'm NEVER getting hitched again. I'm staying single for life!