₦airaland Forum

madskills:
see lawyer ooo people that promised to uphold the law is coming here without shame to talk about job payments, no wonder Lifeless BUHARI called us lazy, youth,...

don't go a study one biznes carefully and support your hubby be here forming graduate

tunjilana:
If you cannot confidently tell your spouse what you feel about a situation like this, then something is wrong with how u both relate.

The ideal thing is that you tell him and if he shares your opinion, he will handle his sister and family in a way that they will think he is the one who doeant even want you to pick it up and start feeling pity for u sef...

Couples should use each other to neutralise threats from their families while they remain United and do not open up one another for ridicule. If it was your fam too...he will let u implement your mutual decision on the matter while he stays underground.

That is how marriage should be... but these days you have a lot of overtly sensitive people who are yet to take a stand between their extended family and nuclear family

ThothHermes:
So if your brother is trying to scam you through your husband, your husband should not tell you about it?

A scammer is anyone looking for undeserved gain. By paying for a job slot, a better qualified candidate without money would miss out.

The OP's gender was not a factor in my comment. How you managed to see it through the lens of gender is beyond me. That tells me what is always going on in your mind.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

Amya:
Modified: What's it with nairaland guys and they always trying desperately to fault women in any post concerning them. How can i in good conscience tell my husband that his sister is trying to scam us? Do you know the blowout that could happen from it? The bad blood that may be forever caused by such accusstion? Yeah my sil was trying to pull a con, but she's not the devil. Even now, I respect her and still relate well with her especially as she didnt succeed.

For my husband, i told him that his sister could mean well and i just wasn't sure of her source and when a source I'm sure about comes around, only then will we pay, but if he still believes the job is legit, he can go ahead and pay. Of course he didn't pay and the whole thing ended there.

The way i did it was the best because even now, everything has died down. Pkatakpata they'd only say i was too big to take the job offer. That isnt a sin.

NoToPile:
You see the bolded is the reason why I am thinking those stating she doesn't have a good relationship with are husband are not being realistic.

Lots of male nairalanders have posted that they choose their family members over their wife, they have not yet drawn that line and I won't be surprised if its the same category that are saying she doesn't have a good relationship with her husband. For some men their family can do no wrong and that's the fact, we don't know the dynamics of their family so shutting the whole thing down seems the best.

Even if they have the best relationship, telling your husband you suspect that it might be a scam whether directly or indirectly is dicey.

Even if the SIL is not aware its a scam and she thinks she's trying to help from her contacts the best was to reject the offer politely.

You can almost never win when issues involves in-laws.

Its better they accuse her of being proud than hubbys 500k to get wasted in this economy.

Besides NNPC slot can never be 500k everybody knows this.

Alaganature:
Babe you look beautiful oo hope the compound you took is the shot is for your father...cos I hate girls that deceive me with people property oo

idrezee:
If your husband actually thinks an NNPC job can be sold for 500k then he is a Dundee United player. See even 2million you can't see an NNPC job.

May God save you from such inlaws but your husband is the cause of it all.

Amya:
I've been looking to get a federal agency job in Abuja for a while now and haven't yet had any reasonable connection.

My sister inlaw ( husband's sister) a lady in her mid 40s who's divorced and a hustler type still trying to find her feet called me up one day and told me a friend of hers had a connection for Civil Defence and i should email my CV right away to her. I have never discussed jobs with her before so the call took me by surprise. I wasnt particular keen on Civil Defence and as a lawyer i had my sights much higher on parastatal or agency jobs. She might have sensed my reluctance on the phone and she went on to say

"I'm just doing you a favour ooo, many people are hoping for opportunities as this"

She had this tone of urgency.

I didnt especially like how she was hurrying me as i never approach anything with desperation and as such, have never been scammed. I told her I'll get back to her. Two hours later, she was messaging me on whatsapp that she hadn't seen my CV on her mailbox. I replied her saying

"Aunty i haven't sent it ooo, is the job slot free because me i don't have money ooo"

This was a very dicey situation for me because this woman is over 10 years my senior and i wanted to be as diplomatic as possible without causing family wahala.

She read my response but didnt reply.

Very early the next morning she called me and when i picked up, she said that the job wasnt free but the price wasnt too much, just N350k. That i shouldn't worry that she'll call my hubby (her brother) and ask him for the money. When i saw she was still pushing, i opened up to her that even if i wanted to pay for a job slot, it definitely wasnt going to be a Civil Defence job as i had my sights set on agencies and parastatals. I knew she was upset by how her voice changed. "Agencies? What's that?" I told her like NNPC, DPR, NCC and the likes
"NNPC? ehnnn.. Okay" She cut the call and i heaved a sigh that it was over. It wasn't.

Two days later, this woman called me again to tell me she has an NNPC job for me.

(you've gat to be kidding me!)

She said that her friend knows the director and he asked for one million but after begging him, he agreed to take 500k she started with her hurrying tactics that i had only 24hrs and if payment wasn't made before then that the offer will be withdrawn. At that time, NNPC were done with their recruitment process and i didnt even apply and knowing how stringent NNPC recruitment was, i knew that offer was impossible. She went on that if I didn't have the cash that she'd call her brother (hubby) to make the transfer immediately. I knew right then without a doubt that this woman wanted to use me to obtain her brother by all means. She can try to scam him directly and if he falls mugu, good for her but why try to use me in the scam? I went further with questioning her on the supposed NNPC job. "Please Aunty the director that is helping, where is he?
" Abuja nau" she replied getting irritated with my questioning.

She was in Lagos and i was in Abuja at the time
so i asked her if i could meet the supposed director one on one and pay him directly and even promised to reward her and her friend handsomely if the deal pulls through.

"No" she said abruptly "you pay the money to my account and ill give it to my friend to make the payment. All you have to do is just hope and pray"

Pray... That word. I knew then without a doubt that this Aunty was trying to scam me.

I told her "Aunty please dont be angry, i know you mean well for my future and want me to get a good job in NNPC but right now I've already paid part payment for another job somewhere and i wouldn't want to invest in two places at once" That wasnt true, i just had to get her off my tail once and for all. She was shocked. She angrily cut the call. She wanted to finesse her brother out of some cash using my future, what happens when the real slot comes around. Would i expect him to pay twice?

Her mum (mil) called me and started blasting me. Saying I'm feeling too big to be helped and her daughter was only trying to help me and now she never wanted to have anything to do with me again. That i should call her daughter and take the offer so that peace would reign. I didnt. Even my hubby blamed me and i couldn't even open my mouth to tell anyone i thought the whole setup was a scam. That's such a big accusation to make. The family dislike for me grew worse because of that incident.

Please did i do wrong?



Modified: For those asking me to talk to hubby, ofcourse i did but he genuinely believes his sister was trying to help and since i couldnt point out outright that the whole thing smelt of scam, hr thinks i rejected the offer because of pride. But i know better. It didnt cause serious issue between us though.

MPESA:
I don't know why you are judging and rebelling her sister law as a scammer , she might not have hand in it , probably a friend was telling her about the slot and it's happening everywhere within Nigeria...

Tadeknkeepcalm:
But what kind of relationship do you and your husband have that you can not tell him how you feel?

elektra:
You didn’t do anything wrong. If you had fallen for it, your husband and his family would’ve still blamed you. Just ignore them.

My family has been scammed by various family members. The interesting this is my parents are still cordial with all the scammers. They still call and visit each other like nothing happened. This is the kind of behavior that emboldens these scammers. They know their family member will forgive them. SMH

Nairaboi:
My sister inlaw ( husband's sister) a lady in her mid 40s who's divorced and a hustler type still trying to find her feet .
The quote above is by the o.p, and that is why women will always remain wicked. You wanted to tell us a story about how you sister in law wanted to scam you. why bring her history?

GboyegaD:
Even at that, she shouldn't go about labeling her. If she says she isn't interested, why cry note than the bereaved if there is no sinister motive from the onset?

Boss13:
To illustrate her point. Only desperate people engage in scams. If she was married, she will focus on her marriage and possibly, channel.her money problems to her husband. However, as we can see, she is broke and decided to channel her desperation to family members.

MPESA:
Stop taking side on issue you weren't present..... You only know about what the op said and you don't know about her own version.... Please stop judging one sided case.

GboyegaD:
And you are taking what? I said my perspective and it is boldly written. If you offer help and it is rejected, there is no need to be offended because it was a help you offered. If you cry foul because your help was rejected, then there is a sinister motive. Anyways, we are a people that help with a thought of returns.

Amya:
What's with you nairaland guys and trying desperately to fault women in any post concerning them. How can i in good conscience tell my husband that his sister is trying to scam us? Do you know the blowout that could happen from it? The bad blood that may be forever csused by such accusstion? Yeah my sil was trying to pull a con, but she's not the devil. Even now, I respect her and still relate well with her especially as she didnt succeed.

The way i did it was the best because even now, everything has died down. Pkatakpata they'd only say i was too big to take the job offer. That itself isn't a sin

udomma1005:
You're not to be blamed but ur narrative points to the fact u re not enjoying strong comic relate with hubby. You would have just told him, "Baby, ur sis be like she gats major connects ooooo, imagine I nor want Civil Defense play, sharp-sharp she Don source NNPC Director connect,if na anoda person I for feel say na scam but I know say Aunty nor go fit dupe us,abi honey will u take the risk to pay her the money?
Nobody would ve blamed u had u acted the script above.

Amya:
He isn't based in Nigeria full time so he doesn't know how things are run here.

Flywheel212:
As a woman you need wisdom to run your home especially when dealing with the inlaws. Sometimes you have to keep your knowledge aside.
You should have gone with the first offer which was lesser amount then smartly chip in your doubt to your husband. If it crumbles your husband will trust your judgement next time, that will also put a stop to any further scam by her and you never would have been in a situation with your mother in law. But if for any reason it works you have nothing to lose ( besides what makes you think she can't pull it all the way from Lagos?, I only hope that offer wasn't genuine and your pride got the best of you).
You messed up big time, apologise to them and agree on the offer.

Amya:
Modified: What's it with nairaland guys and they always trying desperately to fault women in any post concerning them. How can i in good conscience tell my husband that his sister is trying to scam us? Do you know the blowout that could happen from it? The bad blood that may be forever caused by such accusstion? Yeah my sil was trying to pull a con, but she's not the devil. Even now, I respect her and still relate well with her especially as she didnt succeed.

For my husband, i told him that his sister could mean well and i just wasn't sure of her source and when a source I'm sure about comes around, only then will we pay, but if he still believes the job is legit, he can go ahead and pay. Of course he didn't pay and the whole thing ended there.

The way i did it was the best because even now, everything has died down. Pkatakpata they'd only say i was too proud to take the job offer. That isnt a sin.

Amya:
Modified: What's it with nairaland guys and they always trying desperately to fault women in any post concerning them. How can i in good conscience tell my husband that his sister is trying to scam us? Do you know the blowout that could happen from it? The bad blood that may be forever caused by such accusstion? Yeah my sil was trying to pull a con, but she's not the devil. Even now, I respect her and still relate well with her especially as she didnt succeed.

For my husband, i told him that his sister could mean well and i just wasn't sure of her source and when a source I'm sure about comes around, only then will we pay, but if he still believes the job is legit, he can go ahead and pay. Of course he didn't pay and the whole thing ended there.

The way i did it was the best because even now, everything has died down. Pkatakpata they'd only say i was too proud to take the job offer. That isnt a sin.

crackkland:
I didn't even have to read all of it to detect the scam attempt.

This is a typical by-the-playbook technique when it comes to agency/federal ministry recruitments - they create a sense of urgency and existing connection to one director or HR exec.
And guess what? If you tell your SIL you're interested next week, the slot will still be open.

Chevron Warri, has had lots of people who fell into this same scam.

Just explain to your husband and tell him about your reservations but avoid telling him it's his sister you suspect. Put your suspicions on the contact she claims to have and make her (your SIL) out to be innocent, at least to avoid family issues.

If he still insists you should give it a try, then he should give her the money from his pocket.

ThothHermes:
So if your brother is trying to scam you through your husband, your husband should not tell you about it?

A scammer is anyone looking for undeserved gain. By paying for a job slot, a better qualified candidate without money would miss out.

The OP's gender was not a factor in my comment. How you managed to see it through the lens of gender is beyond me. That tells me what is always going on in your mind.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

MPESA:
You weren't with them to know that she was crying foul if not for the fact op said so..... You judging this woman trying to label her scammer just because the op said that her mother in-law call and saying all sort of things and behaving somehow to her of which you can't confirm if this case is as a the way she portrait it..... This is a family matter and you don't know how they are bond with each other.... BTW this said woman might be innocent of this accusations.

PresidentAtiku:
Girls and their natural hatred for mother in-laws. Shebi you go be mother in-law one day.

Tueee