₦airaland Forum

Biodun1929:
I agree with you to a point, but didn't OP have conversations with the guy during courtship? If she is claiming the guy is not smart, then he has always been not smart. So why didn't she notice that during courtship? Maybe she was blinded by some other material things.

When a person is quiet it takes more time to get to know them.

Ishilove:
He might be the olodo boify, who knows

I see you have no mercy for dull boys.

eltata:
Then that is not love. Love is a choice and when you uphold it, there is no going back. You can only lust about physical attributes

Can you choose to love anyone?

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Go down to the river...take mud...create your own man..if you can't... learn to appreciate

jansonn:
Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls

Reading lies

Caseless:
Pull him down syndrome(PHD) is common with black people and they hate reading.

Bad readers are bad writers, they hate to read same way they hate to write and I think it has gone beyond the habitual laziness and gotten embedded in the DNA.

As a teenager, I loved to read but severally had to stop when I began to get hot heads, pain in the eyes and headaches.
My cousin got migraines from too much solving of furthermaths and a super intelligent friend I know nearly ran mad no jokes. She was out of school for almost a year though some say it's spiritual but I see a pattern.

Before the likes of Chinua Achebe, Cyprian Ekwensi and co, in the late 90s and early 20s we've had no renown authors or even no authors at all. So reading and writing is quite new to the black mind. Still, to show our high untapped intelligence, in the first century we joined tge world of readers, we quickly produced nobel laureate contenders in that field

My humble observation...

She has already left him. It doesn't matter when you actually do, but the countdown has begun.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

I love quantum theory.

So because someone can't hold a conversation beyond how are you? and what's your day like? now implies that he is not smart. It's ok, I know what you're doing, but continue.

LogicalZubby:
E no intelligent be say e no intelligent. No dey twist am

lol, but the babe talk se the guy good in other areas na only gist the bros no sabi

Women wagala too much.

Caseless:
most guys who communicate very well and seems to be current on many issues/topic have flair for politics.,
I easily run out of what to say when i'm with girls because they won't discuss what I like and, I don't like what they like. They find me too quiet and they don't like it. Make your guy to watch political programmes, take him to quora and share link to articles or piece you've read and have him to review that with you to form a conversation. If he reads more, he'd find the urge to discuss more or will be willing to share his discovery.

Easier postulated than practiced.

He's not smart and he toast you and you gree just say he's an introvert

What if he's even smarter than you.. he just wanted to know your IQ... I Love intelligent conversation but I would want to know how the girl thinks and reason as well.. So I will give her room to handle situations or discussion while I contribute less.. When I noticed she's Intelligent then I will turn up my side... Because I need to know if I get into a serious intelligent conversation she can relate.

I think you need to communicate what you think to him.. and not assume he's not smart.. trust me he may be smarter than you know if you don't try to understand him. Ask him why you feel he avoid some certain discussions.. And let him know you enjoy such discussion.. Even if he's not taking note before.. trust me he will work on it.

He's good to you.. Not many of us Men are good like that.. don't loose it because of conversation. If you Love him you can help him improve on areas he's lacking.. Unless you have plenty guys distracting you and you knew you can easily pick up another guy. But if that's not the case. It's just a simple Communication between you guys that will fix it.

Wish all the best dear.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Hmmmm, looks like my girlfriend’s handwriting though. If it is, baby I’m not dull o. In fact over sharp Dey worry me cos I listen more and talk less. I’ve tried many times to bring you closer and be my best friend but you believe it’s not yet time for me to know you. Even sometimes if I ask her some personal questions that can make us talk deep but instead she it’s either she avoid the topic or even sometimes she put it straight to me that I can’t know those infos yet. That we’re not yet married ��. But she want to know everything even the unseen dust in my shoe. But if that’s you “AJK” which my instinct tell me it is: feel free to talk to me. Been waiting for a time like this. But if it’s not, except your mind is made up already. Fix your relationship woman. You already know where the fault is. Joke with him, play with him, drive in those faults with the joke, go sober and ask questions.

athaliya:
Bad readers are bad writers, they hate to read same way they hate to write and I think it has gone beyond the habitual laziness and gotten embedded in the DNA.

As a teenager, I loved to read but severally had to stop when I began to get hot heads, pain in the eyes and headaches.
My cousin got migraines from too much solving of furthermaths and a super intelligent friend I know nearly ran mad no jokes. She was out of school for almost a year though some say it's spiritual but I see a pattern.

Before the likes of Chinua Achebe, Cyprian Ekwensi and co, in the late 90s and early 20s we've had no renown authors or even no authors at all. So reading and writing is quite new to the black mind. Still, to show our high untapped intelligence, in the first century we joined tge world of readers, we quickly produced nobel laureate contenders in that field

My humble observation...

NO observation can be truer than this. I couldn't have said it better.

Collonn:
Hmmmm, looks like my girlfriend’s handwriting though. If it is, baby I’m not dull o. In fact over sharp Dey worry me cos I listen more and talk less. I’ve tried many times to bring you closer and be my best friend but you believe it’s not yet time for me to know you. Even sometimes if I ask her some personal questions that can make us talk deep but instead she it’s either she avoid the topic or even sometimes she put it straight to me that I can’t know those infos yet. That we’re not yet married ��. But she want to know everything even the unseen dust in my shoe. But if that’s you “AJK” which my instinct tell me it is: feel free to talk to me. Been waiting for a time like this. But if it’s not, except your mind is made up already. Fix your relationship woman. You already know where the fault is. Joke with him, play with him, drive in those faults with the joke, go sober and ask questions.

funny guy.

CanadaOrBust:
This is crass generalization. I am very much turned on by intellect and academic achievement. They add so much to a lady for me, and definitely contribute to my hard on

There is always an exception to the rule and the only way a woman can be sure she is not being used as a ladder is not to be a ladder. (plus it depends on where you are in life - bottom of ladder, middle of ladder, top of ladder) this different stages of life bring out different needs in a man for the woman he wants.

Dangote may like intellectual women who make loads of money but it is not his priority in a woman - his priority is peace, good companionship, beauty, quality bedtime but he is definitely not looking for a woman to borrow him money or help him with bills.


If that man asks you for money for bills - you are the laddder

if you as the woman is paying any bills in that house - you are the ladder

If he is holding his head in his hand and expecting you to ask and rescue him financially - you are the ladder

It is Monday o..... I will be back on Friday.

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Sorry to ask, but what school did he finish from? I want to get something

My take on this is that you are selfish cause you want a perfect qualities all in one man.u mentioned so many sweet quality about this guy then ask your self if you have those good qualities in urself too as a woman or is it because he refuse to complain about ur BAD attitude because he believes love covers everything...... Put urself in his shoes u wil understand better. My advice is that what u are complaining about is not enough to lose interest because the next man u will meet will be good at communicating but d same u wil start complaining that he is ugly, poor, does not dress up well and so on. If u love him work and build him to ur happiness OK except u have found another boy wey ur eye dey

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Collonn:
Hmmmm, looks like my girlfriend’s handwriting though. If it is, baby I’m not dull o. In fact over sharp Dey worry me cos I listen more and talk less. I’ve tried many times to bring you closer and be my best friend but you believe it’s not yet time for me to know you. Even sometimes if I ask her some personal questions that can make us talk deep but instead she it’s either she avoid the topic or even sometimes she put it straight to me that I can’t know those infos yet. That we’re not yet married ��. But she want to know everything even the unseen dust in my shoe. But if that’s you “AJK” which my instinct tell me it is: feel free to talk to me. Been waiting for a time like this. But if it’s not, except your mind is made up already. Fix your relationship woman. You already know where the fault is. Joke with him, play with him, drive in those faults with the joke, go sober and ask questions.

Op ur attention is needed

Oluromantic:
You now see why it's not easy to let go sometimes especially when it's d other way round. You girls will be so quick to cast terrible aspersions on a guy and say... He doesn't know what he wants, when he knew he doesn't like her, why did he waste her time, he just wanted to be sleeping with her.

And if after letting go and realised he shdnt have, and he comes back to apologise.. aaaah, the worst talks will show up especially with the influence of your fellow rotten-brain female friends who have no wisdom than to just conclude on what they see on the surface.

The truth is some decisions are not easy to take at some points and it's not easy to know what's on the other side that you have not experienced.


I understand that feeling and I'd advice you don't cut out ur communication with him totally, while you satisfy ur curiosity by letting in another guy. If the new guy is ur dream guy, then separate from the former guy respectfully with maturity and not with the sudden rude attitude u ladies give insensitively cus you've found someone else.

But if you find out he's still d best option you've got, then apologize for the slight reduction in communication and begin to build him up to your taste...yes it's very possible... Know his personality, temperament and responses to actions and connect with him from there. Before you know it, you will change him and he'll become a guy many girls are dying to have.

I will take the option of you trying to let him know subtly. Change is constant in everyone and there is no person who cannot change. I always look out for the intellectual part in a lady too but like someone mentioned earlier, you cannot have it all. Try to make sure you engage him a lot on intellectual matters, quizzes and all. Trust me, if you love him, you will help him develop that aspect.

Women can be so very confused!
This new guy she is tripping for now go soon get fault as well.
And that is how they jump from one dick to the other looking for that all round perfect man which they will never find.

Ishilove:
Easier postulated than practiced.

when you won't date me, why won't u say what's postulation and what's practiceable. Girls won't find me fun to be with because in the morning(4am-6am), I jst find articles to read. Then navigate btw channels, AIT, TVC, Arise news, till 11:30am. Then go on aljazeera to check news story, inside story, counting the cost, etc. Then to bbc to check hardTalk and then come back to tvc for journailist hangout and cap it with politics today on channels. Don't forget twitter and NL visit in between. Too busy now to follow all .
You can see what my gf will be going through.

Caseless:
when you won't date me, why won't u say what's postulation and what's practiceable. Girls won't find me fun to be with because in the morning(4am-6am), I jst find articles to read. Then navigate btw channels, AIT, TVC, Arise news, till 11:30am. Then go on aljazeera to check news story, inside story, counting the cost, etc. Then to bbc to check hardTalk and then come back to tvc for journailist hangout and cap it with politics today on channels. Don't forget twitter and NL visit in between. Too busy now to follow all .
You can see what my gf will be going through.

Lol. You cannot date a Bible thumper like me

Seriously though, a woman who shares your interests will not find you boring.

Dear anxious-for-nothing lady, kindly get some clay and create your own man with the 'right specs' as u desire them.

What do women really want?

Caxmir:


Your username says it all "CYNOSURE".

He's obviously not interested in ur quantum physics and teleportation induced sci-fi series.

have you asked him what he really likes to discuss?

As everything shouldn't be about you, you , you...... he might be a foodie, perfume freak, Bible eater, spice analyst, meat biologist but no!! you won't talk about those, forcing your opinions and topics down his keypad, making a young elder brother unhappy.


If he's not giving you the vibe u want better leave him in peace than pieces. He deserves to be happy not suffocated with meaningless rants.

As if she’s asked about her view on special relativity or time dilation she will know. Some gals sha

4 things in relationship I can’t do:
1. Date an undergraduate
2. Date someone not smart
3. Date someone who knows no shit about computer.
4. Date broke gal

SVandal:
If you want someone to talk quantum theory and mechanics, get a nerd. Your boyfriend is clearly not the chatterbox.

IMO, he's the definition of a "real man" - talk less, act more.

you're funny

Caseless:
when you won't date me, why won't u say what's postulation and what's practiceable. Girls won't find me fun to be with because in the morning(4am-6am), I jst find articles to read. Then navigate btw channels, AIT, TVC, Arise news, till 11:30am. Then go on aljazeera to check news story, inside story, counting the cost, etc. Then to bbc to check hardTalk and then come back to tvc for journailist hangout and cap it with politics today on channels. Don't forget twitter and NL visit in between. Too busy now to follow all .
You can see what my gf will be going through.

Your life will be filled with lots of sad news from media and kinda one side... it'll be best to spice it up with a lil movie and music in between...life shouldn't be over serious biko, add it up with something light

cynosuree:
Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.

But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.


He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.

I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?

The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .

I'd like to know what you think

Yes, go ahead and tell him he is a dunderhead and he is not smart.