Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Collonn: 9:17am On Jun 08, 2020 |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 9:17am On Jun 08, 2020 |
truthsayer009:
I don't even trust the OP at all, It is very easy to decipher people. Plan a hangout with his friends, then see the kind of topics he talks about. He may always be talking about science fiction, Space exploration or Elon Musk but her head of full of BBNaija Mercy & Tacha + JORO cheating husbands with side-chics.
Even the worst Introverts have what they talk about when they meet people of similar Interests.
The most intelligent people I know usually talk less, infact more anti-social than anyone else. When I said most Nigerian relationships are baseless, meaningless and lifeless some folks thought I was exaggerating. Truth is most only want what's made, no one is ready to help another grow. They study one another for few months and leave when they find out little shortcomings about the partner with the mind of finding the perfect one elsewhere. They don't know what commitment, sacrifice, growing together, Compromise or friendship is. They only exhibit compromise when they are old with little or no choice. No time to study or get to know who their partner is but they are very quick to ruffle the sheets and bill. I'm an introvert ,a shy one at that but when I want to come out of my shell and talk. The only thing that would stop you from shutting me up is that you may never get to hear those beautiful words again. In relationship I talk and play but listen more. Do I then break up because I find my man a talkative? That's where understanding comes in. Understanding and accepting difference that complement your relationship. So far he isn't saying nonsense, I listen. This thing isn't really a hard thing, find what attracts him , get knowledgeable about it and create communication with time introduce him to your interest and everything will be fine. It's just that people are mostly too self-centered to always put themselves first. 10 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 9:27am On Jun 08, 2020 |
foleskay:
Why wont U get tired. When all yOu know it to type, type, write epistles And essays asif yOu trying to impress Some guys on nairaland with your mauveric writings. Your hands no dey pain you with all those long posts of yours?? Mauveric? Lol never heard or read about such word. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) ... Yes I'm trying to impress Some guys on Nairaland ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) I'm trying to impress Seun and Iamgrey5 . Happy? No worry next time I want to type Epistles I will come and borrow your hands. ![tongue](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/tongue.png) 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Reptyle(m): 9:37am On Jun 08, 2020 |
cynosuree: Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.
But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.
He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.
I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?
The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .
I'd like to know what you think Is his silence a result of his personality? Is he reticent by nature? Is he generally quiet with others or is it only when he is with you? Is there a chance that he could be uninterested in the topics you want to talk about? This are some of the questions you need to figure out answers to. If you discover he is chatty and open when he is with others, then listen in on such conversations and decipher what topics interest him. If you notice however that he is equally reserved and non-conversational when with others, then maybe that is just how he is wired. You probably should have a candid conversation about the situation since it bothers you so much. But please don't go sharing your thoughts on whether he is smart or not with him. Such a statement will definitely end in tears one way or another. For someone who passed with good grades, smartness is definitely not the issue. You might also be shocked that he considers you talkative. ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) You guys have only dated for six months. Be patient with each other. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caseless: 9:41am On Jun 08, 2020 |
![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Ishilove:
Lol. You cannot date a Bible thumper like me ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png)
Seriously though, a woman who shares your interests will not find you boring. I heard bible thumpers are good. ![undecided](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/undecided.png) Ishilove:
Lol. You cannot date a Bible thumper like me ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png)
Seriously though, a woman who shares your interests will not find you boring. I heard bible thumpers are good. That woman is hard to find, except of course if i'm going to go for a mini hairless ezekwesili. There's this one i've met, little thing and she begin to say 'soyinka, u don de blow grammar' |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caseless: 9:49am On Jun 08, 2020 |
smiliyB: Your life will be filled with lots of sad news from media and kinda one side... it'll be best to spice it up with a lil movie and music in between...life shouldn't be over serious biko, add it up with something light ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) And I just lost a potential girlfriend due to my program schedule. Una see wetin i de talk abi. I actually use that activity to stay happy. I feel very lazy to start a movie...though I pick interest some minutes into it. Time to start is what I don't have. I'm a staunch lover of the game of football. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caseless: 9:52am On Jun 08, 2020 |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by sodiamond: 9:59am On Jun 08, 2020 |
This is a serious issue. To avoid problems in the future I will advice you quit now. Marriage is beyond beauty and physical appearances |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Codyt(m): 10:02am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Snipespeter: This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all. You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh
FTC since I joined nairaland 2013. This week will be great. Oga Seun, where should I send my account details ��� Guy!! We tire together ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Well... Balance does it anyway |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by SomehowBROWN(m): 10:04am On Jun 08, 2020 |
What if he isnt that into you? Cuz I could b boring with one lady here and super exciting with another there, plus if he is that boring how did he ask u out and interest u enough to agree. He has already fallen out of love with you IMO. cynosuree: Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.
But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.
He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.
I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?
The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .
I'd like to know what you think |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Rumor2ruth: 10:11am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Some have food but cannot eat, some can eat but have no food, the op has food and can eat as well but instead to glorify god for giving him a kindhearted guy , she's here pointing out his flaw. D last time i checked, women are d most confused creatures on earth surface. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Ishilove: 10:16am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Caseless: I heard bible thumpers are good. I heard bible thumpers are good. That woman is hard to find, except of course if i'm going to go for a mini hairless ezekwesili. There's this one i've met, little thing and she begin to say 'soyinka, u don de blow grammar' Buhahahahahahahahaha!!! God epp you ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by themaestro08(m): 10:22am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Caxmir: ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Your username says it all "CYNOSURE".
He's obviously not interested in ur quantum physics and teleportation induced sci-fi series.
have you asked him what he really likes to discuss?
As everything shouldn't be about you, you , you...... he might be a foodie, perfume freak, Bible eater, spice analyst, meat biologist but no!! you won't talk about those, forcing your opinions and topics down his keypad, making a young elder brother unhappy.
If he's not giving you the vibe u want better leave him in peace than pieces. He deserves to be happy not suffocated with meaningless rants. Excellent contribution man... Don't mind that OP |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by MosD: 10:24am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Solution: get him interested in news (local and international), get him interested in reading |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caseless: 10:29am On Jun 08, 2020 |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caseless: 10:29am On Jun 08, 2020 |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Give400: 10:57am On Jun 08, 2020 |
jansonn: Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls You're a fool ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by onlysose(m): 10:57am On Jun 08, 2020 |
He is intelligent but not the talking and current guy, just involve him or bring him up to your level he will catch up. dig issues you want hime to digest and tag him on his wall, there after you can discuss them . peace out |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Nobody: 11:02am On Jun 08, 2020 |
jansonn: Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by jansonn(m): 11:06am On Jun 08, 2020 |
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Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caxmir: 11:13am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Ejiod:
As if she’s asked about her view on special relativity or time dilation she will know. Some gals sha the can't be satisfied bro.. We'll just live with it. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Caxmir: 11:15am On Jun 08, 2020 |
themaestro08:
Excellent contribution man... Don't mind that OP
Thanks gee... |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Kfed4ril(m): 11:15am On Jun 08, 2020 |
jansonn: Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls I swear I totally relate, I’ve meet a lot of dumb girls on Twitter who claim sapiosexual, but when I engage them in conversation the outcome usually is a turnoff for me. See we have very few girls in Nigeria who can hold an intelligent conversation apart from Instagram, make up and celebrity gist. Very few. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Codyt(m): 11:19am On Jun 08, 2020 |
jansonn: Chai, this life!! And me dey find girl I can discuss politics, nature, medicine and all that intellectual sturvs and all the girls I meet are as dumb as a chicken only Instagram and billing, even the fashion they claim they know and the movies they watch, they can't identify Sylvester stallion, they still call him Rambo for goodness sakes!! Let's chat pls, am really sapiosexual and am done with these "pretty" girls They are so obsessed with their beauty and don't genuinely try to work on themselves. They reply they don't chat. When they try to, it ends up nothing engaging. Sad |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by jansonn(m): 11:26am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Codyt:
They are so obsessed with their beauty and don't genuinely try to work on themselves. They reply they don't chat. When they try to, it ends up nothing engaging. Sad Seriously, you send them messages and they just answer with "OK" I dont even get self!! I go just delete the number give myself peace of mind jare, youre not eternal life oo 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by bodylon001: 11:27am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Encourage him to read and listen more to news locally and globally. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Ishilove: 11:47am On Jun 08, 2020 |
Caseless: ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) I suppose see you sef. How far your friend? Where you wan see me from that your desert? ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) It has been long I heard from her but based on her pictures on Instagram she should be fine. |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by Vanmatrix(m): 12:02pm On Jun 08, 2020 |
Snipespeter: This life self, you try to hold a meaningful conversation with your girlfriend she will say that you are claiming you know it all. You keep quiet for peace to reign, they say you are not smart. I tire oh
FTC since I joined nairaland 2013. This week will be great. Oga Seun, where should I send my account details ��� You just said it all, to me the the guy got a lot to say but if he talk yawa go gas...... It's better he keeps quite... Don't be rude lady he's way more intelligent than you are |
Re: Do I Tell My Boyfriend He's Not Smart ? by mslilybeth(f): 12:16pm On Jun 08, 2020 |
cynosuree: Good morning. This issue has been bothering me for a long time, and I feel like it's too sensitive to ask for second opinions from people I know so I figured I'd maybe ask some strangers on the internet.
I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he's everything I ever wanted in a man. Physically, he's gorgeous, and he also loves me alot. He's kind, he's patient, communicates effectively and all. You know, all the good stuff.
But here's the problem, he cannot hold a conversation beyond "what are you doing" , "what did you eat" (and all that boring stuff) to save his life. I'm not even talking about intellectual conversations like quantum theory or anything, normal conversations about stuff that's happening around the world or around us. Anytime we try to, it usually fails spectacularly. He either ends up missing the ENTIRE point and saying something totally unrelated, or he just waits for me to say what I think so he can go "Yeeaaaa that's true" , leaving me really pissed.
He has absolutely NOTHING intelligent to contribute to any serious conversation, and this hurts me alot because it is a HUGE turn off and I'm slowly losing interest in him. It's a very tricky situation because he does/did well academically, he graduated with very good grades but that's about it...nothing more. I didn't notice it at first - before we started dating, or I would never have dated him because it is a deal breaker for me.
I have considered telling him but I don't exactly know how to approach the conversation without being rude/insensitive, I know telling him would really hurt him and I don't want that. I've also thought about learning how to live with it, because no one is perfect right? Maybe I'm asking for too much?
The latter option is what I've been doing and it's gradually killing me. I fear that I'll fall out of love completely with him and end up hating myself for ruining a good thing, because he's a really good guy .
I'd like to know what you think Honestly you are asking for too much, what makes you think you can change him overnight? Learn to love his imperfections too and nurture the love and time you share, very soon you won't even notice all these your complaints. You described a man of your dreams ,he might not be that complete package but he can be with time, dump him at you own peril. |