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I'm patiently waiting for "Darnmm Nigarr" to share his first time experience too

roybanjo100:
a voice in my head was just telling me to run, i have already removed my shoe..another voice was telling me but i will die today, it was a bitter experience, i hate to remember it, i hate weed with passion

Wow! That is how you would have entered express.

Nooil:
Wow! That is how you would have entered express.

i swear down......God still hava a purpose for my life, if not, i for don kolo

Back in school onetime. My room mate put igbo in his food. i ate it. And nothing happened 2 me. I was surprised

Liposure:
Back in school onetime. My room mate put igbo in the jollof rice he cooked. i ate it. And nothing happened 2 me. I was surprised

Its good for u... burn it up

mhizv:
Nah..I no do again.

That's good, stick to anime.

lekxaid007:
I'm patiently waiting for "Darnmm Nigarr" to share his first time experience too

cc slawormir

this thread wan kill me with laugh and the reason is that I dey remember my first weed experience, If you never had an experience before, this thread might not funny to you

let me share my experience, mine is the most funniest .



I had my first weed experience when I was in 200level 1st semester, though my hostel guys always advise me to smoke weed since my 100L days but I always rejected their offer cos I'm alfa and I always went to mosque, they usually told me I'll  smoke weed unless if I left the  hostel.


 one day I was sitting at the backyard alone thinking about my life , so one of them walked up to me and asked me why am I sitting down alone?cos all of dem were gisting outside , and I told him I'm thinking about my life, then he told if I used weed to reason that I'll like it, but I rejected it and he used wizkid to enter me, cos everyone knew I love wizkid in my hostel , he said I'll be calling myself a wizkid fans and I no dey smoke , that I'm not a real fans, I sha agreed with him, he rolled one blunt for me and he stayed with me while I smoke it ,he taught me that I'll drag it into my head b4 i would release the smoke into the air, I did as he said, I finished the blunt and went straight to mosque cos is already 8pm, I performed ablution  (nothing do me oo) until we started praying oo, when we reached to sujood (bow down )I just felt something like smoke moved from my thigh and go straight to my forehead, suddenly I started laughing on prayer , people beside me were suprise, but I tried to hold it till we finished the prayer, after we finished praying I rushed outside to laugh, i went back to my hostel and I saw everyone gisting outside, I just sat down with them while I'm listening to them but I didn't say anything, but all of them were sounding  like a kid in my ears, suddenly I stood up and started doing push up  (all of them were asking themselves that what happened to me? ) I stopped the push up and I started laughing, they continue asking me questions but I was just laughing at them, that's when dey discovered I Don high,  they started making jest of me , but I tried to form hard guys and I  control the laugh, I sat down back while I keep quiet, but my head is Just making some  sound I can't relate to, one girl walked up to me to show me the picture she took at school not knowing I Don high,  she showed me the pictures but I asked her who's this?  She was suprised and asked,if am blind? I kept asking her who be this?  Cos nah another person I dey see for the pictures, they later told her that have high and she left.

Their was champions league that night, they asked me if I'll followed them to watched football? I said why not that nothing do me, I followed them to view center  ( dobt know how I got there ) I just saw myself sitting down inside the view center, they were showing three matches together but I was trying to be watching the three matches together (which is not possible ) , I didn't even know when the match finished, (cos I was busy talking ) after the match we went back to our hostel and I went straight to my room, I started thinking about many things, then suddenly I started jubilating on bed, then I asked myself why am I jubilating? That if someone saw me like this they'll  thought I Don run mad ni oo.

The guy that gave me the smoke came to my room to asked if I'm okay , cos people Don tell am wetin dey happened to me, he asked me if am okay?  I told him guy no be me dey here oo, I'm hearing some sound in my head , the guy told me that nah the weed they work cos is my first time ,that I should calm down or I should tried to read my book,  I was like you dey madd?  book kor book ni, I say my head dey hot you say I should carry book, you want me to run mad?  I don't know when the guy left cos I sleep like say they beat me with kondo, I tried it like two more times and I don't like my condition and I vow not to take weed again.


What I noticed is that, weeds makes me to talk and I go just dey talk  (not a small talk oo ) and it makes me not to fear anything,  weed gives me confidence and it makes a funny person, cos later in the morning they told me I entertain dem yesterday night.

I'm looking forward to my project presentation cos i will smoke weed that day so that it will gives me some moral,  cos I fear audience.

lekxaid007:
I'm patiently waiting for "Darnmm Nigarr" to share his first time experience too

It will be epik I swear

arthorjnr:
That's good, stick to anime.

Lol I am. You an otaku?

mhizv:
Lol I am. You an otaku?

Yeah. You read manga?

arthorjnr:
Yeah. You read manga?

Not a fan of manga. But I do only if I don't have the patience for the anime to finish airing. Like kimetsu no yaiba,shingeki no kyojin.

Read noblesse too though they aired just 2 episodes

mhizv:
Not a fan of manga. But I do only if I don't have the patience for the anime to finish airing. Like kimetsu no yaiba,shingeki no kyojin.

Read noblesse too though they aired just 2 episodes

Done with kimetsu no Yaiba. Dunno about the other ones Lol.

Kimetsu was fun. What about Bleach, one piece and one punch man?

arthorjnr:
Done with kimetsu no Yaiba. Dunno about the other ones Lol.

Kimetsu was fun. What about Bleach, one piece and one punch man?

What the!!! You don't know about shingeki no kyojin (attack on Titan)?

*Screams
Oh I wish you lived around! Would have pumped you with tons of anime!.

And yeah bleach isn't my favorite,one pice is cool too.

But one punch man! Nahhhh I don't like!

I once ate jollof rice my friend prepare with more than enough weed I just dey sleep like snail

mhizv:
What the!!! You don't know about shingeki no kyojin (attack on Titan)?

*Screams
Oh I wish you lived around! Would have pumped you with tons of anime!.

And yeah bleach isn't my favorite,one pice is cool too.

But one punch man! Nahhhh I don't like!

Oh, I don't know them by their Japanese name. But i've watched a bit of 'attack on titan'. It's a really dope anime. But I prefer anime on the comedy genre. I'll go back to shingeki tho.

Bleach is a guy anime.
One piece is class.

Any other recommendations?

Starz825:
It didn't happen to me actually.....
My roommate back in the uni came to the hostel one day and told me that a family friend will be bringing her son to stay with us for a while...so he will be able to process his admission into our sch with ease...
This guy was friendly, u know guys na ...we clicked so quickly...but this guy get wahala...as in a bit troublesome...may be because he had first attended polythenic ..na why... he's just a bit rugged sha
So It happened that there was this bad guy in our hostel then that knew this our new roommate...they both attended the same polytechnic before they met at the hostel again....
This our hostel guy smokes weed, drinks alcohol, and bleeps a lot ...na bad guy Sha...
He invited this our new roommate to come join him to drinking one thing called gegemu(wasn't even weed)....jesus christ u need to see aw this our new roommate took this gegemu as if he had been taking it before...
Na for evening/Night we hear am...jeez...
I went out came back saw him at the entrance behind the door...he knelt down with his face on the floor... sweating seriously...I was like nigga what's up with you...he started smiling mysteriously....ahah...wetin happen...he didn't say anything... infact he was just saying shit and smiling at the same time...
We had an empty room in the hostel...we took him there, before he decided to follow us there nko....see pushing...like when u trying to push a stubborn cow to move....
The funniest moment was the next morning....na then I know say that thing called gegemu na die...just like 9ice said in his song...(gegemu dey here, ma fiku sere)....
He was sitting on the mattress..the next thing he started hitting his hand on the wall...nigga what u doing...he said he is killing mosquito (while also smiling mysteriously)...he takes any scratch he sees on the wall as mosquito...
Later on ..he went outside the compound without my knowledge... because I was with him at least to take care of him... infact he was about running away ..as in..nigga where are you going to?...he stood there smiling mysteriously..(na that him smile dey make me laaff pass).. at that point I knew something was wrong mehnn...u need to see aw scared I was...I wanted to call school securities oo before Dem go go expel me for wetin I no know because kwasu na any small thing Dem dey take pursue person... infact no be small thing him body come down later sha

I can very well relate to this your tori bro,happens to a friend we stay together sometimes early 2019. This my Niggr legit act madness for complete 2weeks.
Sweardown Gegemu Noh be something to deal with.

jclave22:
I don laugh tire well the first time I smoke weed was also the last time... me and my guys went to club with some run girls I haven't met this girls..dem sabi smoke e get one way I dey admire I just go sitdown near her dey try form loverboy... the chick just say whether I be jjc shey I no dey smoke.. I just say make I form hard boy tell am ,make she pass me the one way she dey smoke.. rap another one... na so I just smoke everything under 1min.. my guys shock come dey call me pretender shey I be bad boy.. dem no no say I want impress the girl.. as she rap the other one na so I tell am make she give me.. I come smoke everything under 2-3mins due to the burning for throat I come drink one alcohol.. I no know say my village people don dey on my matter.... under 10mins I begin they hear faded voices... I still dey claim hard man... morale come build wella to toast the girl... na so I tell the girl I want marry her.. say she go born 5boys for me.. my friends don't notice say I don dey Jones... I come tell the girl make she buy me biscuit and milo.. say I go use her breast do milk... omo na so my evil friends start dey laugh... the highesness come increase na so I start dey cry tell dem say dem betray me make dem buy cow till I go forgive them... the girl self start dey laugh... I begin call her mummy....aunty... sister....come dey beg her to forgive me for Wetin I no no.... as my guys notice the Jones don too much dem carry me go house.. on my way back so plane dey fly pass .... OMo e be like the thing too slow.. I tell my friends say I fit catch this plane make dem leave me... well after so many misbehaving for road I even hug light pole come dey kiss am.... they tell am say I no go break the heart... my friends took time before dem try drag me out dem even say I nearly fall the pole.... well after few days I get myself.. the babe call me say she want see me...we date for like 4months before we separate ..

I can't just stop laughing jeez

I just finished smoking some oshogbo weed and nothing happened... Anyway Merry Christmas.

Used to go somewhere anytime Wednesday coz my school schedule was 2pm.one day I decided to join them for bumping into vice principal office.we smoked and got there,only to find out our vcp was smoking.we ended up telling him how we intend to steal exam papers and set office on fire.we later spent six days in police cell.weed is great but your first time is really hilarious.

Starz825:
It didn't happen to me actually.....
My roommate back in the uni came to the hostel one day and told me that a family friend will be bringing her son to stay with us for a while...so he will be able to process his admission into our sch with ease...
This guy was friendly, u know guys na ...we clicked so quickly...but this guy get wahala...as in a bit troublesome...may be because he had first attended polythenic ..na why... he's just a bit rugged sha
So It happened that there was this bad guy in our hostel then that knew this our new roommate...they both attended the same polytechnic before they met at the hostel again....
This our hostel guy smokes weed, drinks alcohol, and bleeps a lot ...na bad guy Sha...
He invited this our new roommate to come join him to drinking one thing called gegemu(wasn't even weed)....jesus christ u need to see aw this our new roommate took this gegemu as if he had been taking it before...
Na for evening/Night we hear am...jeez...
I went out came back saw him at the entrance behind the door...he knelt down with his face on the floor... sweating seriously...I was like nigga what's up with you...he started smiling mysteriously....ahah...wetin happen...he didn't say anything... infact he was just saying shit and smiling at the same time...
We had an empty room in the hostel...we took him there, before he decided to follow us there nko....see pushing...like when u trying to push a stubborn cow to move....
The funniest moment was the next morning....na then I know say that thing called gegemu na die...just like 9ice said in his song...(gegemu dey here, ma fiku sere)....
He was sitting on the mattress..the next thing he started hitting his hand on the wall...nigga what u doing...he said he is killing mosquito (while also smiling mysteriously)...he takes any scratch he sees on the wall as mosquito...
Later on ..he went outside the compound without my knowledge... because I was with him at least to take care of him... infact he was about running away ..as in..nigga where are you going to?...he stood there smiling mysteriously..(na that him smile dey make me laaff pass).. at that point I knew something was wrong mehnn...u need to see aw scared I was...I wanted to call school securities oo before Dem go go expel me for wetin I no know because kwasu na any small thing Dem dey take pursue person... infact no be small thing him body come down later sha

laughing out loud, no be lie. The first time dat I took that shit, I couldn’t really remember how I displayed but I woke up very early d third day, dressed up for an exam that I was supposed to write a day before (second day to d day dat I drank gegemu) and niggas were laughing before telling me dat paper was yesterday. Last last I no carry ova. I’ve tried most of those things dat makes man high but gegemu is mad or maybe e no gud 4 my system.

my First time wasn’t a biggie dan dat I ate like glutton, wide thought and forces my eyes to open. Couldn’t drag d smoke well as a learner. But there was this bad day dat I went to a friend’s birthday, after my smoking skills has improved. They knw me as this bad guy dat z always giving dem one or two things to get high, so it was more like they planned it. They kept serving me best gin with ice even wen they knw that I don’t drink and before my cup goes down, it ‘s filled again but I wasn’t bothered because there was enough weed (Ghana SK to b precise) which i’ve not tried b4. We drank and smoked till it was just d speakers dat were making sounds. Legs heavy, eyes tiny, throwing spits, etc. I didn’t knw hw I got home, just found myself on the bed and d ceiling was rolling, like d earth z falling, head was like about to explode, and suddenly stopped seeing nothing, was just seeing darkness, even when my bulb was on. I staggered to d bathroom but I could not remember wat I wanted to do in d bathroom so I ran outside, my brother wasn’t around, he came back and asked why I was crying, it was then that I noticed dat I was crying, I was stubborn so he couldn’t disturb me, dat was d last I remembered till I woke up naked in d morning. My nonsense brother no even follow me talk about ham till 2day.

Olamilekxy:
this thread wan kill me with laugh and the reason is that I dey remember my first weed experience, If you never had an experience before, this thread might not funny to you

let me share my experience, mine is the most funniest

typing.......

Waiting...

merrymike47:
laughing out loud, no be lie. The first time dat I took that shit, I couldn’t really remember how I displayed but I woke up very early d third day, dressed up for an exam that I was supposed to write a day before (second day to d day dat I drank gegemu) and niggas were laughing before telling me dat paper was yesterday. Last last I no carry ova. I’ve tried most of those things dat makes man high but gegemu is mad or maybe e no gud 4 my system.

So who wrote the exam for you?

My own, my body begin dey shake, i go den feel like say my blood they leave my body enter ground, after a second i go feel the blood rushing back from my foot to my head as e reach my head i go then feel like say sombori dey choke me, i became very aroused, i asked my self questions and asnweres them my self, i tell my self stories and laughed to the stories

My first time smoking experience?
Didn't really feel anything, but the first time I smoked Arizona, chei and it just so happens I went to school that day, anyone Sabi person that saw me knew j was high, u walked in slow motion, then normal, then fast all these in quick succession..Las Las I e hiyed the trips Sha..

And I have one gift, don't know if it's just me Sha ooo, but no matter how much weed I smoke or eat, my eyes never gets red.

flyingpig:
One day like that in 2018 summer.

My old rommate was a junkie, literally a weed addict. It happened that he had other friends whom he brought over and they all smoked together over a loud Trap music playing from the Bluetooth speaker. In some days, I'd be part of their group; seated outside however I was just a passive member as all I was involved in was listening to their gists, picking up their slangs, listening to music and not feeling bored.

Then, everyone was scared of baiting me to take a drag, because nobody wanted to be held responsible for "ruining" someone's life. So, they all let me off the pressure. It came that there was a need to cook food after the normal joint session and they all agreed on large indomie, spiced with weed.

It was prepared and I joined in the eating. I never felt the kinda experience I anticipated anyway, maybe the quantity of weed used was too little to matter in such large size of indomie.


Until an eventful day when there was just my old roommate with our mutual friend dragging outside, it was about 5pm and I was bored and alone inside. Something came upon me so I stood up and walked up to them outside, where I requested for a drag.

Instead of sharing his half-used blunt with me, the mutual friend opted to roll one full blunt for me rather. He did, and using his blunt, he showed me how to light, and drag, swallow it down your throat, chest, then blow out a clear smoke.

.....

I did that, I wasn't sure if I got right the first drags, but along the line I started feeling a chest burn, and coughed. I remember they clapped for me and commended me for getting it right as it was the sign that a newbie just took a first drag.

I went on again, and another drag, the spree resulted into me burning half of my blunt. Of a sudden, the result was rapid, took less than five minutes to observe CNS ( central nervous system ) effects.

I felt commotion in my head, dizzy, I literally supported myself on the wall till I got into the room and bed, albeit I used some help from my friends. They helped lay me down on the bed, and the mutual friend put on a Trap music, he said it's what is good for the moment.

It was damn loud! Louder than any noise a speaker had ever emitted. I requested that it be stopped, it was turned off. However, I kept on hearing loud noise inside my head. Somehow, I felt I was losing consciousness of my identity.
My name, what I was, my memories were being drowned or submerged. I thought if it was successfully suppressed, if I lost control of my consciousness that I would run mad. So I resisted the drowning. I fought it.

That led me to exhibit all manners of strange behaviours. Well, after some short while in bed, I picked up my school bag and decided to go to night class. My first stop was campus boys hostel. When I arrived there in order to get some materials I looked into the mirror hung on the reception wall and Boy were my eyes bloodt red!!

I shoke it off, got into a room belong to my friend's. I pulled out my sweater at that spot, a fine at that, and lovely one and dashed him right there. He was so grateful. I know I made that decision under the influence of weed but I realised days after that weed makes me very emotional and ultra-good in expressing my feelings; especially the ones i hide deep inside. If i feel love for you but pretend, at that point I'd tell it to you like a baby and express it too. If i dislike you or you disgust me I'd spit it out.

Later on, I proceeded to night class and slept there till morning with my bag hung on my back all night.

When I got home by 6am ( can't remember if someone woke me up or I woke up by myself ), I prepared for school while picking the coolest combination of outfits in the wardrobe. I combined mine, my roommates and rocked them effortlessly. Lesson two; weed gives me a different perception as to swag, vision and overall perspective. It was a very fine inner white polo of our mutual friend, ash jeans of mine, sneakers of mine, a blue denim jacket of the mutual friend.

Mad denim jacket oo

I got to school and acted very calm, quite, soft, pitiful, and emotional. People were worried about me.

It took two days for the effect of weed to wear off my body. That coldness, calmness, less talk, kinda stuff.

My subsequent weed experience were totally different from the first. But in 2018, '19 and '20 I've had about five weed experience. So I don't think I'm a junkie, at least not yet.

I like your writing style

youthsinitiativ:
E make me dey see people begin pick race.

I dey suspect everybody wey dey around me

Heavy paranoia.

If I give my own tori ehn una go laff tire.

Modified:

Na so one of my friend (Ernest) say make I escort am go one place those days for Auchi wey dem dey call Iyeki to go see some guys.

When we reach there na, na so I see some kind big big bros dem with solid muscles and biabia. Everybody just dey comot smoke from ear, nose, and mouth.

Even though say at that time I don dey smoke cigar already, I don already know by then say Igbo na my nemesis so I dey give am chance and respect well well.

By this time I be 19 years old and I don begin smoke cigar already from when I be 12/13 years of age, and to crown everything up, I be pastor man pikin.

I start to dey experiment with smoking dried paw paw and awolowo leaves.

So, back to the tori with the bros dem na. Na so different cigar dey fly. As at then, based on say money no dey, na one cigar wey dem dey call L&B (living in bondage) be my brand, because e dey very cheap. That time I dey even pick some cigar stubs for ground smoke. Old school cigar dem like Bicycle, Gold-leaf, Mars etc.

As we dey the Iyeki joint, na so dem dey pass St. Moritz and other senior boys cigar round, na so I dey follow dem exchange smoke.

Play play play play, na so matter enter Kumasi level oh.

We all don already exchange saliva for cigar na dey form gist wey I no understand, how I wan come take talk say I no sabi smoke igbo, na heavy fucckk up na.

Na so dem begin pass oga patapata round oh I come go use shame take chop winch.

As I see those broda dem dey drag the tin come do mouth like he-goat wey smell she goat urine, come bend mouth one kain, inhale inhale before dem go come exhale, na so I say make I show dem say me sef I sabi skill.

The first drag wey I take like this ehn, wetin I hear na gbosaaa for inside my head.

Na so I begin talk to myself dey ask for inside my head, "who slap me, wetin I do"? Before I know wetin dey happen, the igbo don go round reach where I dey again, and dem don dey try get my attention for almost a minute before I realize. Which kind wahala come be dis na? To run I no fit run na so I continue oh.

I don already naked enter market na, shame no let me take tell dem say I no do again after all my guy Ernest don drag him own. Na so I still collect am, whine mouth like Nkpi, inhale inhale etuaaaaahhhh.

As I do am so, I no fit raise hand take pass the igbo give the next man. E come be like say no be get my hand again oh.

Before you know wetin dey happen, na small small voices I come dey hear oh from heavy men wey be say their voices been deep well well when I first reach there and we all dey argue dey gist.

I dey hear dem dey say (Ernesto, e be like say this your guy don bam oh oya come dey carry am dey go house oh". When I hear those faint words, na him I say e be like say I don dey wan shiiit for Church oh. How a whole me wan take monkey like this na? Na him I say make I form hard man arrange myself tell dem say nothing dey happen oh.

As I say make I force myself invoke the spirit of " I dey okay" from inside my body come outside just to impress dem, my dear people, na so I take fall nack my full face for ground oh, everywhere scatter with laff.

Na him Ernest come help me up oh say make we begin dey go house.

Na when I come manage stand up, hold Ernest, him sef hold me, to take the first step, e come be like say my condition even better pass Ernest own.

For anybody wey sabi Auchi well well, we dey Iyeki, and where we dey call house wey we wan go so na Ernest house for Public field, while my own house dey after Ernest own for White House back of School. The plan na to even manage reach Ernest house first make I see anything wey resemble mattress to lay down.

Na so me and Ernest summon every courage wey remain for we body begin manage ourself dey go house oh.

As we dey waka, e come be like say gallop and pothole full everywhere. At a point e come be like say we dey float for air and our legs no dey touch ground again.

Na so we come manage waka reach where we suppose cross road oh, the two of us come stop. We stand ooh, before God and man, no single moto for road oh but for our eye, na voooom vaaam voooom we dey see and hear, e be like say motor full everywhere and if we enter motor go jam and kill us. We come dey over cardio sef.

We don stand tire na him the two of us look each other, shake head, come hold our sef kakaraka with full speed manage cross road. Na only God know the kind laff wey people go don laff us tire, because na small small my eyes come dey see. My eyes don be like Chinese people own I suppose.

Na so we staggger, waka come reach Ernest house. To open door that one come still take us another time again.

When we come finally enter room, na so Ernest drag like one of those silver bowls wey dem take dey wash hand for restaurant, pack enough garri full am. If you see the way we rush am ehn? Na where I remember reach be dat before I officially pass out with Ernest.

We sleep for almost two straight days I swear to God.

Na from there, and later when I come enter The Netherlands-one country wey be say dem dey sell igbo for special coffee shops anyhow (legalized) I come go try skunk, na there I come realize say, the thing dey siddon for my bloodstream for complete one week before I get myself back.

Na from there I come know say, true true, the thing no good for my body before I go come begin pick pick paper for ground for the streets of Europe na so I take advice myself by myself come face my Marlboro with due respect oh.

But thank God now say I don drop all those smelling habit...

Praise the Lord....

Tori long, make I hang am here joor

I get another one wey happen when I been dey battle one kind depression like that, in fact, anytime I remember am, even me dey burst laff.

Igboooo?

That thing dey spiritual oh.

Baba you na confam comedian swr down. I don laff tire for this your story.

Theundertaker:
The first smoke was with a girl name Maryjane with cigar , and another friend Aj who introduced weed to me . Truth is wasn’t too much drama, cause I learnt how to smoke stage by stage . I just gist , listen to music and press my fone everytime. Except ones when I took spinol and slept while eating , I don’t take drugs , it’s very bad I hv always been a born junky and hv turned two peepz. I hv a junky bestie . Not addict tho , I can stay months without it but when I start . Weed is the best

About turning people. My guy broke his leg in a football game so I gave him trams to manage the pain. Next thing every evening guy go appear for my house like bro you get TM. Okay collect money buy two cards.