oyetpel:
Hakeem12

At least people abroad still have a chance to be whomever they want irrespective of tags.

Here in Africa you don't have a choice than you conform to wishes of society and parents unless a young person is rich.


I have come to the understanding that it's because young people can't get proper jobs to fund for themselves, that's why our parents have been able to cage us, not because of Nigeria parenting.

yeah you are right. Here in Nigeria, we also practise collectivist culture where the rights of the family or collective supersedes that of the individual. There is fear of rejection by the family and each person is encouraged to do what is best for the family or society as a whole rather than for themselves.

But the west practises individualistic culture where Independence is valued; there is much less of a drive to help other citizens or communities than in collectivism. Relying or being dependent on others is frequently seen as shameful, and young people are encouraged to do things on their own; to rely on themselves.

So like you said, unless a young person is rich, he is stuck with whatever society dictates for him.

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Hakeem12:
That's society for you. "The mind is sharper and keener in seclusion and uninterrupted solitude. Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind." - Nikola Tesla.

Society is robbing people, especially young people of a lot of things.
1. Choice.

2. Being Ourselves.

3. Love.

Sorry I had to truncate your post while quoting it, I didn't want the whole comment quoted due to its length.

I very much agree with you on how society is robbing people of a number of things especially Choice and Individuality. On Love, maybe I wouldn't put it the way you did.

Tesla (whom you quoted), though a great guy did take his seclusion a little too far. Not that I don't agree with him though, I actually do know that originality thrives in seclusion.

However, I also think that the society is something we all are a part of and we cannot exactly get rid of it that easily. The society was formed with good intentions but lile most things, it is being abused. I guess humans rarely know when to draw the line. Sometimes (not always), the way to win society is to keep things from it. Society doesn't accept what it doesn't believe in and it not only rejects that new idea, it criticizes it, chastises it and ostracise it.

What angers me the most about society is their need to be judgemental, hypocritical and/or sentimental. As long as they spot individualism, their eyes go red and they begin to fight it, not realising that most of those who history taught us achieved great things did so by doing things in a different way - individualism.

In the end, the advice I always give when these talks come up is this: Fight the society silently and don't conform or care about the opinions they force down others' throat; while striving to make the most of your life. When you're powerful enough, rich enough, old enough and wise enough, you'll be able to have a voice they won't be able to take from you.

Hakeem12:
yeah you are right. Here in Nigeria, we also practise collectivist culture where the rights of the family or collective supersedes that of the individual. There is fear of rejection by the family and each person is encouraged to do what is best for the family or society as a whole rather than for themselves.

But the west practises individualistic culture where Independence is valued; there is much less of a drive to help other citizens or communities than in collectivism. Relying or being dependent on others is frequently seen as shameful, and young people are encouraged to do things on their own; to rely on themselves.

So like you said, unless a young person is rich, he is stuck with whatever society dictates for him.

Apt. You're making sense.

Hmmmm u all hv a problem with society ?? Na wah

DonOms:


Sorry I had to truncate your post while quoting it, I didn't want the whole comment quoted due to its length.

I very much agree with you on how society is robbing people of a number of things especially Choice and Individuality. On Love, maybe I wouldn't put it the way you did.

Tesla (whom you quoted), though a great guy did take his seclusion a little too far. Not that I don't agree with him though, I actually do know that originality thrives in seclusion.

However, I also think that the society is something we all are a part of and we cannot exactly get rid of it that easily. The society was formed with good intentions but lile most things, it is being abused. I guess humans rarely know when to draw the line. Sometimes (not always), the way to win society is to keep things from it. Society doesn't accept what it doesn't believe in and it not only rejects that new idea, it criticizes it, chastises it and ostracise it.

What angers me the most about society is their need to be judgemental, hypocritical and/or sentimental. As long as they spot individualism, their eyes go red and they begin to fight it, not realising that most of those who history taught us achieved great things did so by doing things in a different way - individualism.

In the end, the advice I always give when these talks come up is this: Fight the society silently and don't conform or care about the opinions they force down others' throat; while striving to make the most of your life. When you're powerful enough, rich enough, old enough and wise enough, you'll be able to have a voice they won't be able to take from you.

So true, whatever a rich person says is considered as wisdom, even if is the most absurd thing ever. And yeah, Tesla took it too far, guy died alone, that's no way to live.

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Swtbabyvee:
Hmmmm u all hv a problem with society ?? Na wah

No dear. Nobody has a problem with society rather society shuns an individual who doesn't conform to societal standards. We all cannot follow rules that goes against personal judgement. You cannot displease or bend yourself just because it is acceptable by 'society'.

CallMeAthena:
Hey there boys and girls,I finally signed up!Anyone here to welcome me?

You are welcome Athena. You will do well to have a thick skin on this forum.

Hakeem12:
So true, whatever a rich person says is considered as wisdom, even if is the most absurd thing ever. And yeah, Tesla took it too far, guy died alone, that's no way to live.

Yeah, wealth and power speaks volume. You can imagine how Hitler convinced a whole Nation to fight "the world" - the power of 'Power.'

.

How do you handle attention? I have boxed myself into a situation and I am getting attention. It's in a good way cos someone acknowledged I did her good.

But she did a review on Nairaland and I am getting mentions I never planned for.

It's freaking me out and my alter ego thinks I should face it and ride with the trend.

Problem is I don't know how to do that. I will appreciate any help. Thanks

litigator:
How do you handle attention? I have boxed myself into a situation and I am getting attention. It's in a good way cos someone acknowledged I did her good.

But she did a review on Nairaland and I am getting mentions I never planned for.

It's freaking me out and my alter ego thinks I should face it and ride with the trend.

Problem is I don't know how to do that. I will appreciate any help. Thanks

Hi,

From your post, the attention is actually on Nairaland and not in your physical environment, right? Then it makes it easy because you can ride with it at your own pace and in your own terms.

For example, you don't have to agree to PMs as you can make all exposure be based on posts. That way you won't have to be overwhelmed by intrusions into your personal space if you don't want.

Also, like typical introverts, let your responses to this attention be simple and succint (for those you actually have to respond to) so as to not lose control of it. You should know that attentions are often short-lived most times so don't allow it get into you. Attend to it knowing you won't have to do it for too long.

I do think it may be an opportunity for you to learn how to manage real life attention too, so even if some people want to PM you, you can agree to it if your guts say yes. Perhaps you should just manage the flow as you don't want to get overwhelmed and destroy everything.

Like I often advise, Introverts often need to take adjustments slowly but must keep challenging themselves to be socially better. I hope I have helped but if not, you can ask more direct questions and hopefully there might be better answers for you.

DonOms:


Hi,

From your post, the attention is actually on Nairaland and not in your physical environment, right? Then it makes it easy because you can ride with it at your own pace and in your own terms.

For example, you don't have to agree to PMs as you can make all exposure be based on posts. That way you won't have to be overwhelmed by intrusions into your personal space if you don't want.

Also, like typical introverts, let your responses to this attention be simple and succint (for those you actually have to respond to) so as to not lose control of it. You should know that attentions are often short-lived most times so don't allow it get into you. Attend to it knowing you won't have to do it for too long.

I do think it may be an opportunity for you to learn how to manage real life attention too, so even if some people want to PM you, you can agree to it if your guts say yes. Perhaps you should just manage the flow as you don't want to get overwhelmed and destroy everything.

Like I often advise, Introverts often need to take adjustments slowly but must keep challenging themselves to be socially better. I hope I have helped but if not, you can ask more direct questions and hopefully there might be better answers for you.

Thanks. I was able to respond and keep it simple like you said. Sometimes I try to act the extrovert, but I get drained quickly. I just hope I am able to keep up with it.
My mention keeps blowing up at intervals.

litigator:


Thanks. I was able to respond and keep it simple like you said. Sometimes I try to act the extrovert, but I get drained quickly. I just hope I am able to keep up with it.
My mention keeps blowing up at intervals.

That drain is something you will have to keep enduring for a while. However, from experience, it gets better as you keep trying. I don't think it ever goes away, but it sure gets better and we learn to manage it better.

Whenever you need to withdraw and recharge, don't hesitate. Always do!

CallMeAthena:
Hey there boys and girls,I finally signed up!Anyone here to welcome me?

No

Queenkofoworola:
No

Okay let me manage your wlcum even though it's small.

Hello guys

So lately, I am genuinely starting to get worried about how very comfortable I feel when alone.

I have no desire at all for any social contact!

For example, if my siblings decide to check on me in my room, and then proceed to stay, or try engaging me in small talks, I get so so irritated.

I just want them to leave immediately.

Pls, Is too much alone time turning me insane?

Mkndahi:
Hello guys

So lately, I am genuinely starting to get worried about how very comfortable I feel when alone.

I have no desire at all for any social contact!

For example, if my siblings decide to check on me in my room, and then proceed to stay, or try engaging me in small talks, I get so so irritated.

I just want them to leave immediately.

Pls, Is too much alone time turning me insane?

Alone-time is like plugging your phone to charge the battery to it's full capacity. The way you're going is wrong, cause a time will come that your siblings will start avoiding you and that won't be a good thing. Just try hard to be accommodating.

-

I used to think being an INTROVERT is not normal and one must change his/her mentality to being an extrovert,I used to be uncomfortable with my nature until now..

Mandela27:
I used to think being an INTROVERT is not normal and one must change his/her mentality to being an extrovert,I used to be uncomfortable with my nature until now..

being an introvert isn’t normal , its a mental disorder .

Mandela27:
I used to think being an INTROVERT is not normal and one must change his/her mentality to being an extrovert,I used to be uncomfortable with my nature until now..

Nah, just a personality trait, and besides, ignore that troll that mentioned you first. You should read Susan Cain's Quiet

Hakeem12:
Nah, just a personality trait, and besides, ignore that troll that mentioned you first. You should read Susan Cain's Quiet

Gracias fam!
And about that hoe,She isn't worth my attention .

Mandela27:
I used to think being an INTROVERT is not normal and one must change his/her mentality to being an extrovert,I used to be uncomfortable with my nature until now..

Yes, I was once in that dilemma where people will make you feel you are not normal but it's great now that I have accept who I am.

Mandela27:

Gracias fam!
And about that hoe,She isn't worth my attention .

ehennnn??

.

maeola:


No dear. Nobody has a problem with society rather society shuns an individual who doesn't conform to societal standards. We all cannot follow rules that goes against personal judgement. You cannot displease or bend yourself just because it is acceptable by 'society'.

Always keeping it cool.... Respect to you. I wish I can keep it cool like you, cos this troll is a pain in the ass. But wait O.... This your profile pix....

Good morning my neighbors!!! How you doing? Are you feeling OK!

Axiel99:

Always keeping it cool.... Respect to you. I wish I can keep it cool like you, cos this troll is a pain in the ass. But wait O.... This your profile pix....

Bless you Sir!!!

My display picture? Let's look away please.

Slimtuns:


thanks a lot but trust me, I've always handled it with maturity, I mostly laugh it off as you said cos in reality I've got no explanation for them and about friends, yeah I have friends who do check up on me and I appreciate that but sometimes, maybe the moments I need to be alone is when they come around... I would call it a bad timing, there was a time when I was still in my teens that a friend of mine paid me a visit, I didn't know when I left him in the living room and went into my room to take a nap... my brother had to caution me not to do that again whereas I didn't mean to offend him cos he was already having a good time by watching TV not like I left him alone all by himself. I guess that's just the way we are, not to be clearly understood by the society, just maybe.

kul