Very true

dasparrow:
@Post

Let me tell you something I have noticed about most Nigerians. Once you try to be nice to them by helping them out financially, they end up taking advantage of you. They begin to see you like a mumu, a cash cow to be exploited.

I know of someone who lived in my city (I don't live in Nigeria by the way). Anyways, she is a single mother and financially struggling. Being that I know what it feels like not to have, I felt sorry for her and without her even asking me, I gave her some money to manage herself. It wasn't even up to 2 weeks and she showed up at my home one evening unannounced asking me to give her money because she lent money from someone and can't pay back. Of course I told her I don't have.

But that experience along with that of many others is the reason why I generally distance myself from Nigerians. Once you are nice to them, they abuse the gesture. I really don't know why. I guess it is what Nigerian society has turned people into.

I have since blocked that Nigerian woman on WhatsApp and blocked her number on my phone. Why? Because regardless of how much I try to help her again and again, she will never be satisfied. It is never going to be enough. Block those "friends" of yours and enjoy absolute bliss because the begging won't stop. No be Nigerians again?

I have stopped doing that kind of thing
Some people just take you for granted. No mercy for the abroad based guys than just send money.
How can he process his visa when the money is still flowing? They are the people who will wreck you and also blast you for not achieving much like Hushpuppi.
Wise up and start to invest wisely.
The more you give,the more they come for more like Oliver Twist.

An English adage says no man is an island of himself so I'll not dissuade you from helping people. Although I guess you are not here to listen to reason but to hype yourself. Anyways, when you require a simple thing from them and they surprisingly decline, you will learn about human beings cos you are yet to understand.
I stand to be corrected though.

ikoroduarea:
Hi all,

I will really appreciate if moderator can help push this to front page.

Firstly, insults are welcome. I reside in Europe. Two of my friends they are biological brothers, they've been sucking me. I have been sending them money regularly for years, yes years, but I now realised that these people are not ready to work or learn any skill. Even their own biological brother in abroad reported them to me and doesn't take them serious anymore except their mum. Infarct, i used to send money to their mum too. But they just keep asking me for money everytime. Imagine I just sent you money when you said you are sick, two days after you sent me voice record asking me for money to rent a shop. Then the younger one who's chat bellow asking me for 100k for three of them as if I am picking money on the floor here. To some people in Nigeria who always think all nigerians in diaspora think we always think you're begging for money whenever you say hi just to hear from us, it is not the case. How about this too?

I am really tired. My wife who always agree I should help them have started complaining too. These two friends suddenly changed because I used to send them money even before they ask. It's like every week one problem must happen to them that require money. They will just send account number and the deadline time. They keep coming, coming, coming back again after giving. I have paid hundreds of thousands of naira for visa processing for one of them maybe at least they will stop asking me for money and one will be able to help his brother, but the visa was unsuccessful.

Few days ago one of them ask me to give him my sister's number that he just want to greet her since it's been years he saw her last. Behold, the next day my sister called to ask when did I hear from my friend last and did he mention about financial problem to me, I told my sister that he called me two days ago and asked of her number which I gave him. My sister said he requested for money to support his house rent and she sent him some money. I was shocked. Can you imagine guys? My friend. I am not saying it's a crime for him to ask my sister money but why lie to me that you just want to greet her when you asked me for her number? Whereas I just sent him money too not even up to a week.

See another demand again, see my reply, see his reply.

I know one or the two of them will start gossiping me around that I am proud, but they won't tell them about the good I have done for them, I have been doing. They won't. Some friends are not worth it anymore. I am very upset now that it's affecting me mentally and with my wife. Even my children were asking me last night "dad are you alright, you're not happy".

You know what again, one of them sent messages to my wife asking for mobile phone. I saw it but my wife didn't know that I saw it not until I responded to him myself and told my wife to never bother. My wife later sent the phone to him. Since then he's been using that opportunity to demand from her. Though he eventually stopped it but continue asking me only.

I have sent so much money but they just never stop asking. And I am not the time that take pictures and flaunt them on social media. I live my life on low-key.

I need your honest opinion.

Insults are welcome I promise I won't react to any insult.

I wanted to block them on my social media especially on WhatsApp but I had a rethink so they won't feel like I am proud because I am in abroad.

I blame you for this man. That's the impression that comes with showing people you that you are bouyant.

Best bet is to reduce/stop communication.If it's possible, don't reply their messages on IG/twitter, get a new WhatsApp line.
If they can still get you via any other means just tell them you are out of job and you can't afford to send anything to them.

ICHguy:
Mehn see opportunity that they misused!

I have an uncle in living in USA with his wife and kids. But to ask am for money dey fear me because the last time I did. He blocked me o. Since then I don dey fear to mention moeny with am.

. , I think say na only me ahahaha

Ishilove:
J111333

Poster, you have turned yourself to their ATM. Last time I checked the block functions are in all android and iPhones. Block the leeches and have your peace of mind. Lord knows I don't abide parasitic friendships.

Very very important.

Kenn55:
Sometimes i feel that a lot of stories we read on this platform are fake.

How can this be real? I don't believe that someone can be this stupid and weak. It defies all understanding.

You bad. Poor guy said he didn't mind insults and you piled it on.

J111333:
Very very important.

Being very experienced in these matters, what are your words on marble for the poster?

After almost 20 years in Europe I can tell you, you should stop sending money home.
Safe every single cent or penny you get.
Ignore any number calling from Nigeria for 5 years.
You will come back to thank me.
By the way, only ready few lines from your article and I know you are being pushed into depression.
There are people I sponsor in university, there are people I helped travel abroad, there are people I sent vehicles to who are no longer talking to me.
Don’t let them ruin your life.
Learn from President Buhari who doesn’t talk to Nigerians. Just ignore everyone and focus on what you plan to do.
God be with you.

Those guys are not your friends. You need to cut them off quickly, because when you visit nigeria and you are loaded with cash, this are the type of friends that can murder you just to steal your cash. so be very careful and warn your sister to stay off them too. You have done your best for them.

Kenn55:
Sometimes i feel that a lot of stories we read on this platform are fake.

How can this be real? I don't believe that someone can be this stupid and weak. It defies all understanding.

I'm telling you. Shocking.

Change your number and deactivate your FB or other social media accounts for a month. If your wife can change her number let he do it but if not no qualms. Tell your sister to tell them whenever they call her that you are going through some challenges.
After a month or so when they finally get in touch with you be the first to complain about money etc. Stop sowing on a rocky soil, look for responsible Nigerians to help.

OP, I read somewhere that the best way to help someone is to provide them with what they may need to solve their problems on their own as opposed to helping them solve their problems. This is because the more you help them out of each hole, the deeper they go next time. This, however does not mean that there aren't people who have enough sense to discern when they are beginning to become a burden. However, it is evident that your friends have either refused to be reasonable or do not understand that they are becoming burdensome. The only reasonable help you should ever offer them at this point (if you want to) is to assist them with acquiring a skill or degree that can put food on their table. Whatever they do with that opportunity is up to them. Please protect your mental health.

louisa4luv:
An English adage says no man is an island of himself so I'll not dissuade you from helping people. Although I guess you are not here to listen to reason but to hype yourself. Anyways, when you require a simple thing from them and they surprisingly decline, you will learn about human beings cos you are yet to understand.
I stand to be corrected though.

Is this one okay? Did you read the entire post or not?

Do they put their hand in your wallet or withdraw in your bank account? By the you go bankrupt or have a little problem, you will realize you have no friends. Pretend to have little problem just for two month and know your type of friends.

ikoroduarea:


Absolutely nothing they've done for me. Nothing at all. I was only helping them financially since I knew how hard it was when we were both hustling before I leave Nigerian. They are just abusing the opportunity. Thank you for yout input... I really appreciate. God bless.

Bros you nice ooooo just cut them off

Alberta123:
Since you said insults are welcome, Let me take the opportunity with both hands.

If I might ask, are you draft or an slowpoke.

They're manipulating you by telling you that you're proud so that you can be easily accessible.

Are you happy been taking advantage of.

See as them open shop ontop your head.

Reduce your chat with them and stop explaining anything to them.

Make your chats short and precise



I'm 100% sure they won't do same to you if reverse was the case

So because they gave you license to insult, you sef carried your two hands to drink the akamu. Nna if not for this your last line ehnn..I for finish you. Oya goodnight.

Why does this feel like G+ to me?

I pray you find the right solution

I once had a male friend whom I while a way some time with
He told me about a day back then in secondary school
He had this friend who can lavish money but then depend on him for transport because they always board cab home
So one very good day, this guy kept lavishing money whereas my friend already told him that there's no money for transport but the guy didn't listen
So what my friend did was that as soon as they got to the junction, my friend payed for his cab fee board a bike and went home straight leaving the guy there who was with nothing but #30
Since that day the guy always save small for transport

So what am trying to say is that some people need to be teach a lesson before they know how hard life is

I'm not saying that helping others is bad but there has to limit especially when you see that the opponent is misusing it

My dear you don't need anyone to teach you how to be strong hearted, you have to do it yourself
You've done enough for those your friends and God has sees your heart, so anything they say about you shouldn't be of a concerns to you

Live a blissful life with your family

dasparrow:
@Post

Let me tell you something I have noticed about most Nigerians. Once you try to be nice to them by helping them out financially, they end up taking advantage of you. They begin to see you like a mumu, a cash cow to be exploited.

I know of someone who lived in my city (I don't live in Nigeria by the way). Anyways, she is a single mother and financially struggling. Being that I know what it feels like not to have, I felt sorry for her and without her even asking me, I gave her some money to manage herself. It wasn't even up to 2 weeks and she showed up at my home one evening unannounced asking me to give her money because she lent money from someone and can't pay back. Of course I told her I don't have.

But that experience along with that of many others is the reason why I generally distance myself from Nigerians. Once you are nice to them, they abuse the gesture. I really don't know why. I guess it is what Nigerian society has turned people into.

I have since blocked that Nigerian woman on WhatsApp and blocked her number on my phone. Why? Because regardless of how much I try to help her again and again, she will never be satisfied. It is never going to be enough. Block those "friends" of yours and enjoy absolute bliss because the begging won't stop. No be Nigerians again?

It is not only Nigerians, I once loaned money to an Asian friend, when it got time to pay back, she asked for another loan. I gave because the purpose was supposed to help me recover my first loan and then this one. She gave me a time she will pay back, from her mouth oh. When the time came even after she told me she have have secured a job, another story of her unpaid Bill's as if I don't have Bill's to pay oh. What helped me made a decision and cut her off is when she mentioned how unreasonable I am and how the person that use to do that for her have relocated. That is when I know I was dealing with an entitled unreasonable human being . It took me more than 6 months to get my money back in bits oh. Next time, let the person take emergency loan and pay back with interest. Some people spoil it for others.

@ikoroduarea, you don't owe dem folks any shit. Infact no need to block their lines, simply ignore requests and move on, with time they ll get the drift and find a new maga. Invest on urself and buy assets that ll yield for you later on cos you don't know what tomorrow holds. I am very familiar with these kind of attitudes and it doesnt help the giver on the long run. Yea country is hard but we are surviving, I also have cousins littered all over UK and Canada and I don't ask for any favours from anyone. Life is difficult for everyone in several ways just that some environments are better off. Focus on urself going forward and give with sense. Cheers

your wife sent your friend a phone? if you wan lie lie with sense na

Aboguede:
Very unnecessary long story


Oga u are a fool or big lier

Made up story made up by NL mods just to keep the traffic

If u know u know

Obviously one of those who do not know how to spell. Plus there's nothing to know. How does this look like a made up story to you now? Something people abroad go through on a steady.. anyways, you're free to air your opinion. I sha know it belongs in the trash can.

Kenn55:
Sometimes i feel that a lot of stories we read on this platform are fake.

How can this be real? I don't believe that someone can be this stupid and weak. It defies all understanding.

Juju

it's the fault of bad leadership in Nigeria. continue sending them money, God loves a cheerful giver. if you hear they go and steal, you will say why didn't they call me

Hmm, tbh I have asked my uncle in the UK for N50,000 the tym I used my house rent to start a drop shipping business and a PayPal transfer business while I was a student, I didn't have the money to pay back the rent and the time was fast approaching, thank goodness I worked it out and paid, I felt embrassed asking him 4 money, I'm sure he told his wife and children, we are very close and the children are my age and I'm just picturing all of them in d living room in UK watching Disney ND Uncle telling them that Graham told him to send 4 him N50,000! They all came back last yr and I was so damn embrassed cos they were all acting closed off which I'm sure has to do with it, anyways, this friends of urs aren't friends anymore, cut them off, u don't av to change ur phone number cos of them, see d msgs and don't reply, Mr man no long talk! U need to be clear, tell them "No" I'm not sending anything no matter what! And mean it! If they are ur blood brothers then I feel u should as a matter of urgency try to make more lasting investments for them and help them find their grounds, if they are friends, cut them off! Family first!

Even dangote never give for no reason,

Well for me i think is good to help a friend to stand, but not unnecessarily than your side chicks that will use your money to sponsor her boyfriend and still label you MUGU1 in diaspora

Don't be a people pleaser, you can't please everybody.

Don't say what you don't know...My uncle also disturbs me at every opportunity..I think of how we grew up. We slept in the same room for years...Sometimes I just become a fool when he asks for help...I hope God helps me too...

Kenn55:
Sometimes i feel that a lot of stories we read on this platform are fake.

How can this be real? I don't believe that someone can be this stupid and weak. It defies all understanding.

ikoroduarea:
Hi all,

I will really appreciate if moderator can help push this to front page.

Firstly, insults are welcome. I reside in Europe. Two of my friends they are biological brothers, they've been sucking me. I have been sending them money regularly for years, yes years, but I now realised that these people are not ready to work or learn any skill. Even their own biological brother in abroad reported them to me and doesn't take them serious anymore except their mum. Infarct, i used to send money to their mum too. But they just keep asking me for money everytime. Imagine I just sent you money when you said you are sick, two days after you sent me voice record asking me for money to rent a shop. Then the younger one who's chat bellow asking me for 100k for three of them as if I am picking money on the floor here. To some people in Nigeria who always think all nigerians in diaspora think we always think you're begging for money whenever you say hi just to hear from us, it is not the case. How about this too?

I am really tired. My wife who always agree I should help them have started complaining too. These two friends suddenly changed because I used to send them money even before they ask. It's like every week one problem must happen to them that require money. They will just send account number and the deadline time. They keep coming, coming, coming back again after giving. I have paid hundreds of thousands of naira for visa processing for one of them maybe at least they will stop asking me for money and one will be able to help his brother, but the visa was unsuccessful.

Few days ago one of them ask me to give him my sister's number that he just want to greet her since it's been years he saw her last. Behold, the next day my sister called to ask when did I hear from my friend last and did he mention about financial problem to me, I told my sister that he called me two days ago and asked of her number which I gave him. My sister said he requested for money to support his house rent and she sent him some money. I was shocked. Can you imagine guys? My friend. I am not saying it's a crime for him to ask my sister money but why lie to me that you just want to greet her when you asked me for her number? Whereas I just sent him money too not even up to a week.

See another demand again, see my reply, see his reply.

I know one or the two of them will start gossiping me around that I am proud, but they won't tell them about the good I have done for them, I have been doing. They won't. Some friends are not worth it anymore. I am very upset now that it's affecting me mentally and with my wife. Even my children were asking me last night "dad are you alright, you're not happy".

You know what again, one of them sent messages to my wife asking for mobile phone. I saw it but my wife didn't know that I saw it not until I responded to him myself and told my wife to never bother. My wife later sent the phone to him. Since then he's been using that opportunity to demand from her. Though he eventually stopped it but continue asking me only.

I have sent so much money but they just never stop asking. And I am not the time that take pictures and flaunt them on social media. I live my life on low-key.

I need your honest opinion.

Insults are welcome I promise I won't react to any insult.

I wanted to block them on my social media especially on WhatsApp but I had a rethink so they won't feel like I am proud because I am in abroad.

my fren' go and sit down!

see as you dey yarn like say dem take gun put for your head come dey demand the money sef.

what stops you from telling them no?

will the heavens fall if you refuse to send them money?

I no just understand why e be say sometimes people will just be acting as if to say they don't really know the simplest solutions to their problems.

You act as if you owe them your life, but you gotta close your eyes. I have been living in the United States since 2001, I have sent too much money that I would build 10 mansions, but that's our people and our culture. You need to man up, make the tough decision, change your number or ignore all calls from Nigeria. I still help out, but I now have selective helping. But, at the need of the day, it's your life and your decision to make, whatever works for me, might not work for you.

Nigerians can still whittle ones resolve with just saying NO .

Mindfulness ?

Mindlog:


You lose the assertiveness when you begin to explain why you are saying NO, giving the other person the opportunity to whittle your resolve.

Personally, I have internalized it and learnt how not to feel guilty when I say NO to whatever/ whoever I can't say YES to.