₦airaland Forum

Iogobenz:
Nne shey you know for here girls no dey gree say them get money na.
For kids I know women won't even wait for you before they do things for their kids,so definitely in that aspect I know it won't be a burden the moment she starts birthing for him.
He was just worried about unrealistic standards to be met especially in their early marriage times.
They can claim that they are good without your help but them moment you don't provide,some kind of attitude will start to come up.
He just wanted to know the basic standard for a woman like that so he can see if he can do it or not,assuming she is not someone that want to work together with the husband as regards to finance.
That's all.

Iogobenz:
lol no be me ooo.
Just a good friend from wayback.
E don tay sha,I know you are good.

Iogobenz:
Hi all...
So I've got this friend of mine who might be loving this pretty lady that works as a pharmacist in the southern part of Nigeria.
Apparently the girl is from a good family that has a good background.
Brand new car*probably bought by her parents) and works as a pharmacist here in the south and still live with her parents.
Maybe young,say 25 or so,schooled abroad,eloquent,she seems kind from the few times we all hung together and doesn't seem materialistic.
However my friend is a realist and he knows money always matter along 5he line.
He owns his own business,educated and seem to be doing Good too and financially stable(nice house,relatively new car,good business,some properties both inherited and personal effort etc...)
So what bothers him is;
He would like to know how much pharmacists make in Nigeria(the drugstore ones) and what are its growth potentials?
What a woman like that will want in a man,especially when it comes to finance.
He is also worried if a educated family like theirs will want a businessman(trader) for an inlaw or maybe might prefer corporate world people as it seem almost everyone in their family is one professional or the other.
My guy seem to want to settle down soon and wants to make a decision amongst some of the options at hand as he doesn't want to waste much time again.
First hand experiences will be appreciated,thanks...

uboma:
Exactly my thoughts too.

Logobenz is just being insecure because the lady is educated, doing well career wise and also because she's from a wealthy family.

The more he keep contemplating these issues here on Nairaland or on any other forum instead of discussing these issues with her directly, the more likely that he's going to loose her.

Iogobenz:
She works in a drugstore,you know all these fancy and polished ones.
My guy say If she can make say 400k a month,then he thinks she can foot her current lifestyle effortlessly though.
Those were just some of his thoughts he shared with me not so long ago.

ImaIma1:
Is your friend just scoping this lady from afar or he actually relates with her? If he relates with her, he should know what kind of person she is, if she is the high maintenance type.

If "your friend" already feels this insecure before even going in, he should think twice about going further. What if he gets all the financial information about her and something else pops up in the course of the relationship? Will he run?

I see problems ahead especially from a guy who is already this money conscious.

Iogobenz:
They relate very well.
I wonder where you got the idea that the girl is not on his level.
His problem is to know if the girl makes enough to cater for herself or it's her parents maintaining her current lifestyle which he might later take over from them after commitment,and he doesn't want that.
Women can pretend so he doesn't want to ask questions and want to be sure.
My friend makes way more than the said lady,but is an ambitious man and wouldn't want a pampered lady to draw him down.
The question is simple,can her job sustain her?
If its 170k like someone said then I think it won't work as the money too small.

ImaIma1:
Who said anything about not being on the same level.

There are too many uncertainties and insecurities. It's best your guy steers clear to avoid another thread in the future.

If he cannot afford to fund her current lifestyle, he should let her be because it could go both ways. As in she earns well but also enjoys comfort from her parents wealth. So it is already a concern for him, let him save himself the trouble.

Iogobenz:
Do you really know what insecurity is?
Because you keep throwing it around carelessly and its beginning to sound really irritating.
Insecure about a woman who don't make a quarter of what he makes?
There is a difference between an insecure man and a man who don't want an over pampered liability.
Know the difference.

Iogobenz:
Do you really know what insecurity is?
Because you keep throwing it around carelessly and its beginning to sound really irritating.
Insecure about a woman who don't make a quarter of what he makes?
There is a difference between an insecure man and a man who don't want an over pampered liability.
Know the difference.

Iogobenz:
No I don't think he is insecure because I know him for long now.
He knows if it is by going by what the girl is used to,he won't be able to cope.
First the girl uses a brand new car bought by her parents,big house and all those rich kid things.My guy will really struggle to keep up with that.
But he thinks if the girl is doing good from her job(drugstore pharmacist),maybe she might not bother him much with unrealistic demands that need to be met.
They are both young,my guy is 28 and she 25.
So if he starts rooting large bills from an unrealistic woman now it might mar his dreams a lot.
So he wants to know what she earns possible so he can judge If she is self sufficient first or not.Shey you understand?

Iogobenz:
No I don't think he is insecure because I know him for long now.
He knows if it is by going by what the girl is used to,he won't be able to cope.
First the girl uses a brand new car bought by her parents,big house and all those rich kid things.My guy will really struggle to keep up with that.
But he thinks if the girl is doing good from her job(drugstore pharmacist),maybe she might not bother him much with unrealistic demands that need to be met.
They are both young,my guy is 28 and she 25.
So if he starts rooting large bills from an unrealistic woman now it might mar his dreams a lot.
So he wants to know what she earns possible so he can judge If she is self sufficient first or not.Shey you understand?

Iogobenz:
They relate very well.
I wonder where you got the idea that the girl is not on his level.
His problem is to know if the girl makes enough to cater for herself or it's her parents maintaining her current lifestyle which he might later take over from them after commitment,and he doesn't want that.
Women can pretend so he doesn't want to ask questions and want to be sure.
My friend makes way more than the said lady,but is an ambitious man and wouldn't want a pampered lady to draw him down.
The question is simple,can her job sustain her?
If its 170k like someone said then I think it won't work as the money too small.

yvelchstores:
he has no business with knowing what she earns before even marrying her. your friend is an opportunist. he wants to elevate his status by marrying into the family. it's not about if he cares about this lady. besides if he is asking all these questions he shld just leave the young lady and look for his specifications.

ImaIma1:
Just like one marriage I know that's not working because the guy is selfish and irresponsible. The wife (a very close person to me) later found out that before they married he went about trying to know how much she earns. He got the information, down to bonuses and rent allowance, upfront, etc.

When they got married, he expected so much from her. And, along the line, the salary got slashed and she was paying off loans and debts the husband incurred. Finances became so tight.

The guy was more interested in her earnings than loving her and that foundation couldn't stand the test of time.

cococandy:
What’s she supposed to be doing with her earnings?

You people better don’t start off on the wrong foot. Or you start a pattern you can’t continue if something small should go wrong in the future.

You’re supposed to be looking resources. Helping each other out. Planning for your kids together.

If you want to foot her lifestyle based on her income that she makes now, is there consideration in there for the best options for the kids as they come along? What about other expenses that don’t revolve around her or the future kids?
Is she going to contribute as well? Or ‘your friend’ wants to carry NL sole provider rhetoric into his real life thinking it works that way?

Be willing to help and accept help.

He owns his own business, educated and seem to be doing Good too and financially stable

He is also worried if a educated family like theirs will want a businessman(trader) for an inlaw or maybe might prefer corporate world people as it seem almost everyone in their family is one professional or the other.

yvelchstores:
the exact same thing applies here.he is pretending the reason he wants to know what she earns is to know if she can take care of herself, which is still an error.the main reason is so he knows how much of an asset she is. these kind will see responsible ladies that are from humble backgrounds but want to catch big fish. he is just an opportunist. such can be found in every tribe but I can guess where this business man is from.anyways,if I knew the said lady I will advise she dodges this bullet.

Iogobenz:
Big fish that works in a drugstore counter lol.
Na where big fish dem dey work for the place you come from?
Aunty you are delusional.

ImaIma1:
Just like one marriage I know that's not working because the guy is selfish and irresponsible. The wife (a very close person to me) later found out that before they married he went about trying to know how much she earns. He got the information, down to bonuses and rent allowance, upfront, etc.

When they got married, he expected so much from her. And, along the line, the salary got slashed and she was paying off loans and debts the husband incurred. Finances became so tight.

The guy was more interested in her earnings than loving her and that foundation couldn't stand the test of time.

yvelchstores:
mind game gone wrong. she schooled abroad she drives a car,she is from a family of professionas,she is not a chemist but a pharmacist and she is not a catch for the business minded man? I hear u

truthsayer009:
You know, It's always easier to say this when you live somewhere outside of the African continent & or not in Nigeria lol. At least before you left you should remember "My money is my Money" is the mantra of Nigeria women living in Nigeria and a married woman should be taken care of, even she can still afford everything herself. Baby girl lifestyle woop! woop! woop!.

Just scroll up & see the comments from fellow Women, no need to speak further.

truthsayer009:
are you sure this is not you?


Why should it bother him? he his equality educated right?

Elder0001:
Fake stories everywhere... Smh

cococandy:
Nope. That wasn’t my reality. Isn’t or outside Nigeria.

People should stop perpetuating these falsehoods because that’s what they are . Lies

You’re Using two people’s posts on a thread to judge the situation of millions of women in Nigeria. Meanwhile I’m sure in real life you know many women who contribute financially to their families.

Elder0001:
Fake stories everywhere... Smh