Few days back I posted a topic on how my wife left home with our 2years old son after a little issue that even animals will laugh at us when they hear it because of how trivial the issue is. Now this is what is at stake

1. She hasn't called since she left a week ago & I haven't called either because I didn't chase her.

2. None of her family has called to know why she came back home though I don't Blame them, it depends on what she must have told them.

3. Perhaps she has moved on already, its no problem but let her come and pack her belongings. I sent her a text to come & pack her stuffs then whoever she is ready to come back she's free but I'll never follow up at her family house & she replied that she's not expecting me to follow her up cos she knows I'm not gonna come after her.

5. My decision is, if she doesn't come back by Sunday or at least come to pick her things, I'll move on & I don't care if she comes anytime & see me with a babe at home. I can't remain single hoping she comes back when perhaps she's already found a boyfriend.

6. Some of you would think its pride that is making me not to go to her family but no, I don't want to look stupid cos I've done that severally.

7. Maybe I'm here killing myself with thinking while she's at her family house laughing.


Waking up to see her stuffs in my house is really hurting me the more & making it difficult for me to move on.

I really need your advice guys, pls

Your marriage, your home.


Your decision, your peace of mind.

Best of luck.

u better don't call her 'yet' but i will advice you to call her dad and explain to him don't explain as if you are begging oo.....explain like you are telling him let ur voice be loud and clear.

You and your wife make me smile... You need to sit down with those that have been married for 10years and above to learn from them.

No marriage is perfect but if any of you value it; you would put aside your pride to make it work.

Deffjam:
u better don't call her 'yet' but i will advice you to call her dad and explain to him don't explain as if you are begging oo.....explain like you are telling him let ur voice be loud and clear.

her dad is late, one of the thing that is hindering me from going to tell her mother again is cos the mother believes anything she tells her without hearing from me

decatalyst:
You marriage, your home.


Your decision, your peace of mind.

Best of luck.

Gbam!

I've never known loosing someone you love could be this painful. I've never experienced a heart break in my life, I'm 30years of age. We've been married for almost three years & blessed with a baby girl.

Pls guys I really need help on how to move on its really draining me & causing me serious depression. I've not done anything bad to her, she just left on her own after a little issue. I'm not perfect though. Its exactly a week now since she left, no call & no text at all but she's yet to pack a lot of her clothes & other stuffs.

I saw this in your previous previous thread. I see both of you are quite young. You did not tell us exactly what happened, so we don't know what to tell you to do. But if you're sure what u did is right before God and man, then leave her. Just take care of ur daughter.

The more emotional dilly-dallying you are, the more a woman (a young Immature one at that) will traumatize you to high BP point. Just remain unbothered and face your life. Might not be easy but if you survive the first 2 weeks with a free conscience, you've actually survived it all. Don't ever equalize your authority with a woman. What you owe her is loyal love. Aside that, no more. She owes you absolute respect. If she can't give you, she shd squash off. Stop being a weakling!

In all marriages that work, one person always stoops low and bears a lot of the brunt. The other partner eventually learns to reciprocate or even may not. I mean all marriages that work.

In the posters marriage nobody wants to stoop low.

Perfect reason why many marriages eventually fail.

Pride is all I see here. Both of you need to let go of pride and build your home. Let there be Peace.

Rtk5:
Few days back I posted a topic on how my wife left home with our 2years old son after a little issue that even animals will laugh at us when they hear it because of how trivial the issue is. Now this is what is at stake

1. She hasn't called since she left a week ago & I haven't called either because I didn't chase her.

2. None of her family has called to know why she came back home though I don't Blame them, it depends on what she must have told them.

3. Perhaps she has moved on already, its no problem but let her come and pack her belongings. I sent her a text to come & pack her stuffs then whoever she is ready to come back she's free but I'll never follow up at her family house & she replied that she's not expecting me to follow her up cos she knows I'm not gonna come after her.

5. My decision is, if she doesn't come back by Sunday or at least come to pick her things, I'll move on & I don't care if she comes anytime & see me with a babe at home. I can't remain single hoping she comes back when perhaps she's already found a boyfriend.

6. Some of you would think its pride that is making me not to go to her family but no, I don't want to look stupid cos I've done that severally.

7. Maybe I'm here killing myself with thinking while she's at her family house laughing.

I really need your advice guys, pls

The way you're both handling your marriage isn't right.
If you can't talk to the mother for reasons you stated what about an older sibling is a close elder in their family?

thorpido:
The way you're both handling your marriage isn't right.
If you can't talk to the mother for reasons you stated what about an older sibling is a close elder in their family?

They all behave like her mother

GraGra247:
In all marriages that work, one person always stoops low and bears a lot of the brunt. The other partner eventually learns to reciprocate or even may not. I mean all marriages that work.

In the posters marriage nobody wants to stoop low.

Perfect reason why many marriages eventually fail.

You're very very right... But she has tried a lot too in being the fool & making it work. Right now I don't know whats in her mind. Could she have gotten over the marriage

You people are not serious, how did they allow both of you to marry when it was obvious you two never reach?

Rtk5:
You're very very right... But she has tried a lot too in being the fool & making it work. Right now I don't know whats in her mind. Could she have gotten over the marriage

So why not try to be the fool and make it work this time. Why does it always have to be her playing that vital part.

For you to acknowledge that she's been playing the fool means that you were clearly aware and makes you guilty.

Rtk5:
You're very very right... But she has tried a lot too in being the fool & making it work. Right now I don't know whats in her mind. Could she have gotten over the marriage

If she has played the fool to make things work before, why can't you play the fool this time?
Think of your son, do you want another man to play your role in his life?
Divorce affects children the most, they don't move on like adults do!

GraGra247:


So why not try to be the fool and make it work this time. Why does it always have to be her playing that vital part.

For you to acknowledge that she's been playing the fool means that you were clearly aware and makes you guilty.

I'm sure you didn't read the part where he said, he doesn't want to go to her family house because he's been doing that a lot.

The 2 of em needs to give each other space then start their relationship afresh.

Rtk5:
Few days back I posted a topic on how my wife left home with our 2years old son after a little issue that even animals will laugh at us when they hear it because of how trivial the issue is. Now this is what is at stake

1. She hasn't called since she left a week ago & I haven't called either because I didn't chase her.
2. None of her family has called to know why she came back home though I don't Blame them, it depends on what she must have told them.
3. Perhaps she has moved on already, its no problem but let her come and pack her belongings. I sent her a text to come & pack her stuffs then whoever she is ready to come back she's free but I'll never follow up at her family house & she replied that she's not expecting me to follow her up cos she knows I'm not gonna come after her.
5. My decision is, if she doesn't come back by Sunday or at least come to pick her things, I'll move on & I don't care if she comes anytime & see me with a babe at home. I can't remain single hoping she comes back when perhaps she's already found a boyfriend.
6. Some of you would think its pride that is making me not to go to her family but no, I don't want to look stupid cos I've done that severally.
7. Maybe I'm here killing myself with thinking while she's at her family house laughing.

I really need your advice guys, pls

as you didnt put any #4 point, let me put it for you:

4. pack all her belongings, send it to her family house and make her fully understand that you are done with her BS...

MrBrownJay1:


as you didnt put any #4 point, let me put it for you:

4. pack all her belongings, send it to her family house and make her fully understand that you are done with her BS...

OP, disregard this advice please. It is on Nairaland that we see single people advising married people how to make a marriage work.

Only in Nigeria.

Jagajaga marriages

As for the two of you, continue. The both of you are obviously not ready for marriage.

Ishilove:

OP, disregard this advice please. It is on Nairaland that we see single people advising married people how to make a marriage work.

Thanks a lot.

Ishilove:
OP, disregard this advice please. It is on Nairaland that we see single people advising married people how to make a marriage work.

sista Ishilove, why na?!? the woman wasnt driven away, she left on her own decision. so at least, he should make sure she has all her belongings, so that she can do what she pleases, and so can the OP. or you think she can go and hold him prisoner while she plays with his emotional state?

if this woman believes she is free to leave and live her life doing whatever she desires, then why cant the OP do the same with his own life?!?!?!

Rtk5:
Thanks a lot.

You stoop to conquer. When you were marrying her, there were elders, not so? Go to those elders since her mum is not behaving like one.

You obviously love your wife. It is written all over your posts. Don't let useless pride rob you of a good thing, so be the man and initiate a reconcilation via those elders, but you have to lay some ground rules.

MrBrownJay1:


sista Ishilove, why na?!? the woman wasnt driven away, she left on her own decision. so at least, he should make sure she has all her belongings, so that she can do what she pleases, and so can the OP. or you think she can go and hold him prisoner while she plays with his emotional state?

if this woman believes she is free to leave and live her life doing whatever she desires, then why cant the OP do the same with his own life?!?!?!

You're so on point my brother, that's exactly what I've been thinking & feeling ever since she left. Seeing her stuffs at home is hurting me the more & hindering me from moving on with my life

MrBrownJay1:


sista Ishilove, why na?!? the woman wasnt driven away, she left on her own decision. so at least, he should make sure she has all her belongings, so that she can do what she pleases, and so can the OP. or you think she can go and hold him prisoner while she plays with his emotional state?

if this woman believes she is free to leave and live her life doing whatever she desires, then why cant the OP do the same with his own life?!?!?!

Brown, marriage is for better for worse. Those were the vows they took. When something is broken, you try as much as possible to fix it. You just don't throw it away at the drop of a hat.

If she wants to play the immature fool then the OP should show he has sense. They both can't be immature fools.

Rtk5:
You're so on point my brother, that's exactly what I've been thinking & feeling ever since she left

You never ready to marry. When you move on, if your next woman acts the fool you can also move on as well until maturity catches up with you.

Ishilove:

You stoop to conquer. When you were marrying her, there were elders, not so? Go to those elders since her mum is not behaving like one.

You obviously love your wife. It is written all over your posts. Don't let useless pride rob you of a good thing, so be the man and initiate a reconcilation via those elders, but you have to lay some ground rules.

I really love her so much. both of us have made great sacrifices for each other.

Ishilove:
Brown, marriage is for better for worse. If she wants to play the immature fool then the OP should show he has sense. They both can't be immature fools.

so you want a person to stay with an immature fool...? the best these people can do is to part ways and be merry away from one another, instead of trying to force them to be together at any cost. just because they made a mistake getting married, shouldnt be a reason for them to continue being together.... this will only end in tragedy, since its obvious they have no respect for their union.

Rtk5:
I really love her so much. both of us have made great sacrifices for each other.

So why is this case different?

You both need elders and people who have weathered storms in their marriages to counsel you both because what I see here is pride and immaturity and an unwillingness to compromise from both parties.

Whoever has been advising your woman has not been advising her well.

MrBrownJay1:


so you want a person to stay with an immature fool...? the best these people can do is to part ways and be merry away from one another, instead of trying to force them to be together at any cost. just because they made a mistake getting married, shouldnt be a reason for them to continue being together.... this will only end in tragedy, since its obvious they have no respect for their union.

I modified my post.

Rtk5:
You're so on point my brother, that's exactly what I've been thinking & feeling ever since she left. Seeing her stuffs at home is hurting me the more & hindering me from moving on with my life

bro, just call her and make her understand that she can come back home and work this out PROPERLY or you send her stuff back and she can live the life she desires.

there are too many issues here to fix, and it seems the best is for you guys to part ways, since you cant communicate like adults.