₦airaland Forum

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

I had a difficult time growing up , my mum died when I was 8 years and my dad denied me claiming my mum had cheated on him and there’s no way I could be his daughter.

My aunty who was supposed to care for me had never bothered about me , she was always out leaving me in the house all alone without food , whenever I complains she will beat me telling me to go to my mum graveyard to ask her for assistance.

I have suffered in the hand of my aunty she didn’t care about my education if I have managed to complete my primary school till jss2 was thanks to this aunty who was a teacher at my school and a good friend of my mum , she sponsored me , And when I was 14 my aunty landlord kicked her out of the house because of rent arrears she said I am the enemy of progress she cant take me to her boyfriend house because he won’t accept me to stay there that I should go and look for a place , I cried and pleaded with her to take me along with her but she refuse I beg her to show me where my dad is she said he will not accept me because he hated my mum but I beg her to take me to him .

She took me to him it was my first time seeing him I looked just like him with one eye big one small but he insulted the hell out of us saying he will never accept me because my mum was a cheater she had so many boyfriends that I should ask her who my real father is but my aunty insisted that my mum had told her before she passed on that he was my dad even taught I resembled him still he denied and kicked us out like we were dogs I cried and my aunty was angry because of the insult so she left me all alone in the street but later came to me .
Since that day my life situation has worsened because I was forced to stay with different people where I was being abused , my baby dad came as a guardian angel to my life he took care of everything i needed by promising me heaven on Earth I taught he will get me out of my hard situations but I was wrong i find out he was married with kids I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to live the same lifestyle as my mum had lived but history has repeated itself just like my mother had me with a married man but she knew he was married but me I didn’t know , but it was too late for me to moved on because I was already pregnant for him and I didn’t want to abort my baby I have decide to continue the relationship but when I was 4 months pregnant he left me and blocked me from all his contacts , this is the man that has never bothered to asked about his child for 5 years now..

My little girl dont even know her dad the same way I did not know mine until
I was 14 which break my heart anytime I think about it.

My daughter and I are staying with my madam the lady tat I serve her for now 3 years but things here hasn’t been easy for us because my madam children don’t like me they keep accusing of things I don’t do like I stole their money , clothes and many more before my madam was telling them to stop with their bad attitudes towards me but I have noticed that whenever they had accused me she start getting angry with me sometimes we can go days without her not talking to me which I think I have overstayed and I am not longer wanted here I want to leave this house and to go and hustle but I feared for my daughter because I don’t want her to end up like me.

If I leave this house we will be on the street for a long time till I will be able to get somewhere else to stay with her also I don’t think I can give her the best education because if she stay with me she will end up being a teen mother just like I did something I don’t want to happen to her and I came across someone who’s willing to help me by taking care of my daughter to give her the best life something that I have always wanted for her , she promised to take care of her till university and she will give me the money to rent a room and start up business she said she will take things to the right direction like adoption but I don’t know how she will do it because I have no idea that I will have to sign up papers for agreement i have agreed because I think is really a good opportunity for me even taught I have accepted but sometimes I am getting worried about giving her my daughter I am having sleepless nights and thinking all nights.

I am just tired of living this life I didn’t ask to be born my parents created me and now I am suffering from their mistakes something I didn’t consented and I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of my mistake I think giving her up for adoption is a good thing , but I don’t know if I am doing the right things.

please no insult what is your advice for me.

Thanks

Don't ruin the life of that child, she already attached to u and if she doesn't see u again, it will create a massive hole inside her and destroy her mentally for her entire life..

U will regret this if u try it.





Hold on the best u can

MansoryMX:
I wanted to insult you on how stupid you are by allowing yourself to get pregnant for a man who has not paid your bride price and you know you have no one, no mother or father yet you foolishly brought an innocent child into this harsh world to suffer more than you. You made a mistake, no one is above mistakes. I don’t even know why I feel angry at you as if you are my blood sister. You see this advice below, listen to it. That’s all I have to say to you. May God give you strength.

She was a teenager then with poor parental training

Righteousness89:


I Have Given the Solution..

You can Keep touring up and down .. That's Human Nature! We are Naturally Stubborn.

When u are Through with touring the ends of the Earth, u will come back to JESUS . That is where your Solution lies....

Jesus is the way, no doubt but you are getting the whole thing wrong bro. It’s one of the reasons why Africa has never and I bet it will never move forward. We always expect mana to fall from heaven.

moreb2cum:
1. I have seen most of these stories on Nairaland. An alternate monicker by the same person will always ask for donations. I hope this is not one of them.

2. Go to the nearest Catholic church, ask for the priest. You will be directed to JDPC (the Justice Department). You do not need to be a member.
They will help you with the best course of action as applicable (either getting child support from your daughter's father, self empowerment or safe placement for adoption).

In the end, it all boils down to Jesus Christ (the church) since governance has failed in this country.

good suggestion

thesicilian:
If only you can see that by giving her her up for adoption, you may be subjecting her to a future worse than what you have gone through!
Not all that glitters is gold. That person that promised you heaven and earth to train your daughter and set up a business for you, there may be more to it than meets the eye.
Plus your daughter may never forgive you for pushing her away.

you had my thoughts

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

OP I can't remember the last time i cried in the last 8 years but yours actually brought tears to my eyes
I had someone in my area when i was very young who was in a similar situation so i'll not bother trying to verify the authenticity of this story.
I'll follow this page and check back later to see if a way to help like an account to donate to has been posted. My donation might be small but it'll be a very large percentage of what i have so please don't give your child up for adoption cos only you can be vigilant enough to know when your daugther wants to take a misstep

Give me that baby for full adoption. I have 3 kids. A girl and 2 boys. The girl really needs a baby sister seriously and my wife and I also need one baby girl.
Like I said Full adoption
My contact is in my signature

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

Very good. Dont be brainwashed by that jesus nonsense.

unclemaths:
You are an embittered soul in serious need of help.

Whao, you needed help and you actually said the quoted?!

Maybe all those talks about you were true by the way.

Haven't you read about Biblical Job? Joseph? Hanna? Sarah?

Please, don't add blasphemy to your issues.

Nothing do your daughter..
You are the one in serious need of help.

Jesus is dead. Dont give wrong advice. A dead man can never be a God.

Uniquewise:
Very senseless talk

@Op, Jesus didn't put you in the misery you have found yourself. The people in your life, starting from your late mum, your aunty, the perverted baby daddy, all have, by their actions and inactions, placed you in the shittt you are currently in. Add to all that, your own poor choice for sleeping with a man you're not married to.

So get up and determine to remedy all these evils already. The best place to start is to go that same Jesus you're ignorantly shunning. Truth be told, true help can only be found in Him.

By the way, that man that impregnated you should be arrested asap, for raping a minor (statutory rape), and for his negligence in taking care of the product of such heinous union. I hope someone on this forum can help OP manage the legal aspect of this matter.

Jesus is a dead man.

Joemetry:
My sister, go and give that innocent girl to St Vincent the Paul in any Catholic Church.

Demand to see the priest in person, explain everything in detail include especially the omitted details in this thread of yours that you either intentionally or inadvertently omitted.

Tell the priest that a Catholic referred you to the church.

Don't give up on God or Christ even if you have given up on yourself.

Our God is able and your disbelieve or believe in him will never change his status but may change yours respectively.

Please abandon everything you'll be doing tomorrow and start the move.

Yeah so the pastors can perform rape and child abuse. Filthy pedophiles

Mizflo:
Thanks for the advice. I have lost faith in Jesus because if he was there I wouldn’t have been suffering like this . I don’t want to look for him because he has never care about me and I don’t want to know him

bet me you will surely ask for forgiveness for this words you said

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

I had a difficult time growing up , my mum died when I was 8 years and my dad denied me claiming my mum had cheated on him and there’s no way I could be his daughter.

My aunty who was supposed to care for me had never bothered about me , she was always out leaving me in the house all alone without food , whenever I complains she will beat me telling me to go to my mum graveyard to ask her for assistance.

I have suffered in the hand of my aunty she didn’t care about my education if I have managed to complete my primary school till jss2 was thanks to this aunty who was a teacher at my school and a good friend of my mum , she sponsored me , And when I was 14 my aunty landlord kicked her out of the house because of rent arrears she said I am the enemy of progress she cant take me to her boyfriend house because he won’t accept me to stay there that I should go and look for a place , I cried and pleaded with her to take me along with her but she refuse I beg her to show me where my dad is she said he will not accept me because he hated my mum but I beg her to take me to him .

She took me to him it was my first time seeing him I looked just like him with one eye big one small but he insulted the hell out of us saying he will never accept me because my mum was a cheater she had so many boyfriends that I should ask her who my real father is but my aunty insisted that my mum had told her before she passed on that he was my dad even taught I resembled him still he denied and kicked us out like we were dogs I cried and my aunty was angry because of the insult so she left me all alone in the street but later came to me .
Since that day my life situation has worsened because I was forced to stay with different people where I was being abused , my baby dad came as a guardian angel to my life he took care of everything i needed by promising me heaven on Earth I taught he will get me out of my hard situations but I was wrong i find out he was married with kids I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to live the same lifestyle as my mum had lived but history has repeated itself just like my mother had me with a married man but she knew he was married but me I didn’t know , but it was too late for me to moved on because I was already pregnant for him and I didn’t want to abort my baby I have decide to continue the relationship but when I was 4 months pregnant he left me and blocked me from all his contacts , this is the man that has never bothered to asked about his child for 5 years now..

My little girl dont even know her dad the same way I did not know mine until
I was 14 which break my heart anytime I think about it.

My daughter and I are staying with my madam the lady tat I serve her for now 3 years but things here hasn’t been easy for us because my madam children don’t like me they keep accusing of things I don’t do like I stole their money , clothes and many more before my madam was telling them to stop with their bad attitudes towards me but I have noticed that whenever they had accused me she start getting angry with me sometimes we can go days without her not talking to me which I think I have overstayed and I am not longer wanted here I want to leave this house and to go and hustle but I feared for my daughter because I don’t want her to end up like me.

If I leave this house we will be on the street for a long time till I will be able to get somewhere else to stay with her also I don’t think I can give her the best education because if she stay with me she will end up being a teen mother just like I did something I don’t want to happen to her and I came across someone who’s willing to help me by taking care of my daughter to give her the best life something that I have always wanted for her , she promised to take care of her till university and she will give me the money to rent a room and start up business she said she will take things to the right direction like adoption but I don’t know how she will do it because I have no idea that I will have to sign up papers for agreement i have agreed because I think is really a good opportunity for me even taught I have accepted but sometimes I am getting worried about giving her my daughter I am having sleepless nights and thinking all nights.

I am just tired of living this life I didn’t ask to be born my parents created me and now I am suffering from their mistakes something I didn’t consented and I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of my mistake I think giving her up for adoption is a good thing , but I don’t know if I am doing the right things.

please no insult what is your advice for me.

Thanks

Your story is a fortunate one. Thank God you are a determined young lady and you write well.

And thank you for having a beautiful daughter who is your pride, and not aborting her. We celebrate you.

Let's find a way to help you.

1. Let's look to for father and make him take responsibility. I wish to believe he took undue advantage of you at age 16, because you were helpless, young and naive.

My thinking is this, if we get him to take responsibility, you will have some funds to rent a room and start a business. Perhaps, you won't have to give up your precious jewel for adoption.

2. Set up a go-fund me account for you. I know Nairalanders have heart of gold. We might be able to raise you some funds that will get you and your daughter off the street, and perhaps a little business to feed and cater for the both of you.

3. I and my team @ Lexor Law Associates & LeXor Advisory Services will render free legal advisory services to you on the adoption processes, so you don't even up selling your baby or giving her into the wrong hands.

Have your considered guidance instead of outright adoption?

We could also help you investigate the adopting couple, to ensure your daughter is in good hands.

I guess that is your major worry. Don't give up on life and living. Most importantly, don't give up on God.

Let me know where we can start from.

Shalom.

JERRYMAG4:
Jesus is the way, no doubt but you are getting the whole thing wrong bro. It’s one of the reasons why Africa has never and I bet it will never move forward. We always expect mana to fall from heaven.

Jesus is not the way. The GODS of our ancestors are the way.

Jesus is a dead jew. A man can never be a god.

Saig:
look for any CHURCH OF CHRIST near you. Best decision for you

You mean CHURCH OF PEDOPHILES ?

PAGAN9JA:
Jesus is not the way. The GODS of our ancestors are the way.

Jesus is a dead jew. A man can never be a god.

The most important thing the young mother needs now is the help she can get not some religious bs

abdullahi45:
Trying hard to conceive your write up. Is not believing in Jesus as you stated a reason for her life in shambles? If so, then, we wouldn't be having atheist living big.

I am a Muslim, and I recognize the importance of spirituality, but it is stupid to tell people their life is in downturn because they don't believe in what you belief. What's stopping you from giving her financial assistance for the sake of humanity and not because of any religious affiliations?

Did u actually read and understand what I wrote? Or are u just Paranoid because I mentioned that Jesus Christ whom she publicly despised is actually the solution to her problem.

You are a Muslim, and I am a Christian, which means even though u claim we worship same God, but I strongly doubt this cos our view on theology and issues are different. The God I profess has the power to deliver her from her ugly situation as He has done with me. I expected her to humbly ask for how to approach Jesus Christ to get her problem solved.

And helping her in the name of humanity is totally my choice, and I wouldn't wanna offer assistance to someone who publicly reject the source of my wealth and life.

Mizflo:
Please I need your advice. I had created this account because I am well known here with my main account because I am always active and I want to remain anonymously.

Am 21 a single mum with 1 girl age 5 , her dad rejected me when I was pregnant he left when I was 4 months pregnant with her .

I had a difficult time growing up , my mum died when I was 8 years and my dad denied me claiming my mum had cheated on him and there’s no way I could be his daughter.

My aunty who was supposed to care for me had never bothered about me , she was always out leaving me in the house all alone without food , whenever I complains she will beat me telling me to go to my mum graveyard to ask her for assistance.

I have suffered in the hand of my aunty she didn’t care about my education if I have managed to complete my primary school till jss2 was thanks to this aunty who was a teacher at my school and a good friend of my mum , she sponsored me , And when I was 14 my aunty landlord kicked her out of the house because of rent arrears she said I am the enemy of progress she cant take me to her boyfriend house because he won’t accept me to stay there that I should go and look for a place , I cried and pleaded with her to take me along with her but she refuse I beg her to show me where my dad is she said he will not accept me because he hated my mum but I beg her to take me to him .

She took me to him it was my first time seeing him I looked just like him with one eye big one small but he insulted the hell out of us saying he will never accept me because my mum was a cheater she had so many boyfriends that I should ask her who my real father is but my aunty insisted that my mum had told her before she passed on that he was my dad even taught I resembled him still he denied and kicked us out like we were dogs I cried and my aunty was angry because of the insult so she left me all alone in the street but later came to me .
Since that day my life situation has worsened because I was forced to stay with different people where I was being abused , my baby dad came as a guardian angel to my life he took care of everything i needed by promising me heaven on Earth I taught he will get me out of my hard situations but I was wrong i find out he was married with kids I was heartbroken because I didn’t want to live the same lifestyle as my mum had lived but history has repeated itself just like my mother had me with a married man but she knew he was married but me I didn’t know , but it was too late for me to moved on because I was already pregnant for him and I didn’t want to abort my baby I have decide to continue the relationship but when I was 4 months pregnant he left me and blocked me from all his contacts , this is the man that has never bothered to asked about his child for 5 years now..

My little girl dont even know her dad the same way I did not know mine until
I was 14 which break my heart anytime I think about it.

My daughter and I are staying with my madam the lady tat I serve her for now 3 years but things here hasn’t been easy for us because my madam children don’t like me they keep accusing of things I don’t do like I stole their money , clothes and many more before my madam was telling them to stop with their bad attitudes towards me but I have noticed that whenever they had accused me she start getting angry with me sometimes we can go days without her not talking to me which I think I have overstayed and I am not longer wanted here I want to leave this house and to go and hustle but I feared for my daughter because I don’t want her to end up like me.

If I leave this house we will be on the street for a long time till I will be able to get somewhere else to stay with her also I don’t think I can give her the best education because if she stay with me she will end up being a teen mother just like I did something I don’t want to happen to her and I came across someone who’s willing to help me by taking care of my daughter to give her the best life something that I have always wanted for her , she promised to take care of her till university and she will give me the money to rent a room and start up business she said she will take things to the right direction like adoption but I don’t know how she will do it because I have no idea that I will have to sign up papers for agreement i have agreed because I think is really a good opportunity for me even taught I have accepted but sometimes I am getting worried about giving her my daughter I am having sleepless nights and thinking all nights.

I am just tired of living this life I didn’t ask to be born my parents created me and now I am suffering from their mistakes something I didn’t consented and I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of my mistake I think giving her up for adoption is a good thing , but I don’t know if I am doing the right things.

please no insult what is your advice for me.

Thanks

Please PM me. Ignore all the judgemental Christians here. Jesus showed love and did not condemn the harlot even when everyone was ready to stone her. God loves you no matter your lifestyle. What you need now is a little help and some handwork to become self-sufficient. DO NOT give your daughter to anyone or she might end up worse off than you.

Sarang:
This too.
100%%

Please let push it up!

Heromaniaa:
If you want, I can adopt her for my aunt who is above 50 and childless.

I think this is the best solution apart from what righteousness89 said.

askibee:
Your daughter won't suffer, please where are you? Can we talk more about the adoption?

@mizflo, can we follow up with him

Hathor5:
Yes dear but I live abroad.

You live abroad and you are talking of this things here in Nigeria. Aunty well done

Hathor5:
The first person who commented on this thread is really annoying even if Pocohantas doesn't agree. The person sleeps on NL and always feels holier than the Pope himself.

Is the pope holy. Go and sit somewhere

Hum

EmmABE:
The most important thing the young mother needs now is the help she can get not some religious bs

Yes tell that to your churchianity brethren

Mailthaddeus:
Did u actually read and understand what I wrote? Or are u just Paranoid because I mentioned that Jesus Christ whom she publicly despised is actually the solution to her problem.

You are a Muslim, and I am a Christian, which means even though u claim we worship same God, but I strongly doubt this cos our view on theology and issues are different. The God I profess has the power to deliver her from her ugly situation as He has done with me. I expected her to humbly ask for how to approach Jesus Christ to get her problem solved.

And helping her in the name of humanity is totally my choice, and I wouldn't wanna offer assistance to someone who publicly reject the source of my wealth and life.

Lol. Is this a theology lesson now? I never said we believed in the same God. Jesus (PBUH) is a well revered and renowned prophet and messenger of the most High in Islam, which I know you believe otherwise.

That aside, offering assistance is up to you, but I still insist you have no right to attribute someone's failure to lack of belief in what you believe. Help if you can and afterwards if you are able to preach your gospel, then go on.

farmbasketng:
Chat me up on 08033336643.
Let's walk through this and see what could be done.

This are advice. someone is in serious situation, they are advising to go to the police. someone that live abroad is recommending a foster home here in Nigeria. please sir, if you want to sincerely want to help, please do

Mailthaddeus:
Did u actually read and understand what I wrote? Or are u just Paranoid because I mentioned that Jesus Christ whom she publicly despised is actually the solution to her problem.

You are a Muslim, and I am a Christian, which means even though u claim we worship same God, but I strongly doubt this cos our view on theology and issues are different. The God I profess has the power to deliver her from her ugly situation as He has done with me. I expected her to humbly ask for how to approach Jesus Christ to get her problem solved.

And helping her in the name of humanity is totally my choice, and I wouldn't wanna offer assistance to someone who publicly reject the source of my wealth and life.

My Gods can help you achieve more success. I now expect you to humbly ask me how to approach the Gods of your ancestors.

loneprof:
My dear, I hope all you wrote is true and I genuinely feel bad for you. What the guy wrote about seeking God is true and I also understand that due to your situation, you feel abandoned and alone, but it doesn't negate the fact that what he said is true.

Since this your baby daddy denied the child, have you reported to the police? You can also contact human rights/welfare agency to take up the case with him cos he doesn't have a right to deny his child's paternity. Don't sit down and be looking, contact the nearest police station and explain your situation, they will drag the guy to welfare and force him to pay for the child's upkeep, after all, you didn't impregnate yourself.

I feel the need to comment on your contribution before making my input.

For me, dragging a baby daddy to the police or Child Welfare Dept should be dependent on whether or not the guy gave the nod for her to see the pregnancy to its full course and not just because she got pregnant and wanted to leverage on that as a leeway out of hard situations. After all, she said she was having it rough and possibly needed respite and may have been led/misled into thinking that stubbornly keeping the pregnancy would alleviate her burdens even after finding out the baby daddy was married.

To the Op, I don't see how giving your daughter up for adoption, in a bid to help her access better life (as promised), is a problem especially if the couple involved are yet to have kids of their own.

It affords you the chance to a fresh start devoid of the huge strains of taking care of a child you are ill-equipped to cater to. Forget the part about paying attention to the details of such exchange. It is worth the try, at least at 22 you would be free to avail yourself to someone new for love and a whole new set of opportunities once assured that your daughter is in a better place.

Good luck as you make the decision

Acme45:
which state are you currently?

I am glad people are really willing to help.

I really hope someone/people can help her without asking her to give up her child. A business and shelter would be enough to sustain her and her daughter. Where are all indefatigable people of goodwill on nairaland?

Please someone should put her distress on twitter after her consent, for people who can help. I really don't know how to push tweets to a wider coverage, she really needs help and we as humanity must not betray her.

If we can all agree, I am personally willing to help, she must not be made to lose her child because of financial mess, that will not only leave a hole in her heart but will be a permanent source of emotional and psychological trauma.

Let's us please!!!