What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one should consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

In an ideal world love is all that matters once you get married you become one and equal and all that. But in this world we live in that hardly ever happens. Especially when the lady is the one who has the higher social standing. I would say in your case has a higher chance of being successful because the reverse is the case so go for it. But there surely would be a lot of hurdles to face.

No matter how much dt lady loves u n u love her she will neva marry u if u were down or lower than her.I advice u to marry up n help ur future fam cos society has changed n u will sooner or later need an Up wife.Don't be decieved abt hw u feel now .

Just stay in ur class, same circle works better.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one considers when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

I find these questions you people churn out on a daily basis very funny.

People don't marry for love anymore, just personal interests and, self-gratification. If it so bothers you that she is down there financially or socially, what value have you added to her life to see that she leaves that spot of being "down there"?

See, I wouldn't like to sound sentimental with my reply because, in the end, it's all your brunt to bear whether you chose to end up with her or not, neither do I want someone telling me to switch positions to see from your end.

I don't know why you started dating her in the first place without considering that she has always been of a lower class. Now that it has gotten to the point of maybe settling down, the emergence of suddenly knowing she's of lower-class surfaces.

sherylbakky:
Just stay in ur class, same circle works better.

I agree.

A friend broke up with a modaforkar some few weeks back because the azzzhole told her she was down the ladder just because her job, which was virtual, was paying less than a 100k and he was earning 250k. The babe just got another job last week paying 245k and still retained her other job paying less than 100k. Mama got shot up the ladder above baba in less than 2months!

Moral, don't look at your ladder like that...you never know how much reshuffling can happen within the shortest timelines. So long as you found her good enough to date, ladders no longer count.

By the way, girls are still allowed to stay off broke azzzz boys o

sisisioge:


A friend broke up with a modaforkar some few weeks back because the azzzhole told her she was down the ladder just because her job, which was virtual, was paying less than a 100k and he was earning 250k. The babe just got another job last week paying 245k and still retained her other job paying less than 100k. Mama got shot up the ladder above baba in less than 2months!

Moral, don't look at your ladder like that...you never know how much reshuffling can happen within the shortest timelines. So long as you found her good enough to date, ladders no longer count.

By the way, girls are still allowed to stay off broke azzzz boys o

Legit.

UyaiIncomparabl:


I find these questions you people churn out on a daily basis very funny.

People don't marry for love anymore, just personal interests and, self-gratification. If it so bothers you that she is down there financially or socially, what value have you added to her life to see that she leaves that spot of being "down there"?

See, I wouldn't like to sound sentimental with my reply because, in the end, it's all your brunt to bear whether you chose to end up with her or not, neither do I want someone telling me to switch positions to see from your end.

I don't know why you started dating her in the first place without considering that she has always been of a lower class. Now that it has gotten to the point of maybe settling down, the emergence of suddenly knowing she's of lower-class surfaces.

Oshey! He seek her out to date without minding the class in the first place....dont go near him/her if you consider them not good enough! It's that simple.

A friend got the talk from an azzzshhole camouflaged as a " work harder pep talk" while insulting her and her lineage for not having money. Chai...I was so angry with the modaforker!

Ladies will never marry down not even their equal

A man generally don't go for women above him bc he wants a submissive woman.

It's difficult to get any respect if u marry a woman above you esp in financial status.

But generally a man should have taste and standard if u have msc let her have Bsc/Hnd minimum or if u have Bsc let her have Bsc or Hnd minimum. If u earn 100k let her earn 30k minimum n so on.

If u are earn 50k and she is earning 300k then u don turn houseboy be dt

When u have PhD and marry a primary 6 holder n call it love lol it's lack of taste n standard in life.

Marry who can complement you not who will drag u deep down

Double standards analogies.

If Nairaland was a football match, nobody will score because everyone will be shifting post.

Mr. Kuku, marry from your social strata.
But if you know you've got enough money, and if this lady is confident, appreciative and got potentials, invest in her. Some people only need opportunity and the right guidance to sprout in life.

Unpopular opinion.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

Marry within your social class.

This does not imply that people who are below/above your social strata are not good enough for you, it's just safer and simpler overall to marry someone within the same class – you will neither be a saviour, nor be the saved.

And you should be aware that a social class is not based on what you/she earns, because this can easily change in either direction depending on the weather of economics.
A social class factors everything including but not limited to upbringing, family background, educational level/qualifications, etc.

sisisioge:


A friend broke up with a modaforkar some few weeks back because the azzzhole told her she was down the ladder just because her job, which was virtual, was paying less than a 100k and he was earning 250k. The babe just got another job last week paying 245k and still retained her other job paying less than 100k. Mama got shot up the ladder above baba in less than 2months!

Moral, don't look at your ladder like that...you never know how much reshuffling can happen within the shortest timelines. So long as you found her good enough to date, ladders no longer count.

By the way, girls are still allowed to stay off broke azzzz boys o

Where do you churn out these stories from?
No offense, but you seem to always have one and ready to whip it up when the situation/topic calls for it

crackhaus:

Marry within your social class.

This does not imply that people who are below/above your social strata are not good enough for you, it's just safer and simpler overall to marry someone within the same class – you will neither be a saviour, nor be the saved.

And you should be aware that a social class is not based on what you/she earns, because this can easily change in either direction depending on the weather of economics.
A social class factors everything including but not limited to upbringing, family background, educational level/qualifications, etc.

@bold:

Very correct.

I think the definition of social class is important on this thread.

Atiku's daughter fresh from school and jobless at home is in a higher 'social class' than Baba Fukanizer's son who grew up in the village currently earning N300k.

Atiku's jobless daughter marrying Fukanizer's son earning N300k monthly is marrying down.

One can still do slightly up or down.

This is taking out God choosing spouses (for those who believe).

bukatyne:


@bold:

Very correct.

I think the definition of social class is important on this thread.

Atiku's daughter fresh from school and jobless at home is in a higher 'social class' than Baba Fukanizer's son who grew up in the village currently earning N300k.

Atiku's jobless daughter marrying Fukanizer's son earning N300k monthly is marrying down.

One can still do slightly up or down.

This is taking out God choosing spouses (for those who believe).

Exactimus!

And to be honest, even a slightly up/down choice of spouse will still usually fall within the same social strata... So yeah, this is also fine.
Among the middle-class, there's levels. Same with lower and upper-classes.

The wide gap is more noticeable when transitioning from class to class.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

I feel sorry for people with vain mindsets like yours.
It is easier for them to make costly mistakes in life.
The quality of a human being is not determined by the amount of things they possess, social class, outward look, level of education...
The quality of a human is determined by how rich and generous their soul is.

What impact has this person made in your life is what you should consider the most?
Go read the book of ecclesiastes, it might change your perception of life.

crackhaus:

Exactimus!

And to be honest, even a slightly up/down choice of spouse will still usually fall within the same social strata... So yeah, this is also fine.
Among the middle-class, there's levels. Same with lower and upper-classes.

The wide gap is more noticeable when transitioning from class to class.

Those Nollywood type of love stories.

Their moral system is different, outlook to life different, way of life different. It only works where one is very tolerant, ready for serious mindshift and/or open minded.

I also think it works better with man up/woman down snearios.

bukatyne:


Those Nollywood type of love stories.

Their moral system is different, outlook to life different, way of life different. It only works where one is very tolerant, ready for serious mindshift and/or open minded.

I also think it works better with man up/woman down snearios.

Lol, and this is why there will always be gender inequality in some form, whether people like to admit it or not - that fight was lost way before it even began.

Just imagine if it was a woman up/man down situation on this thread, some of the preaching going on up there won't be happening.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

Marry/date someone in your social class.

Mariangeles:


Where do you churn out these stories from?
No offense, but you seem to always have one and ready to whip it up when the situation/topic calls for it

Yes o baby girl, abi you want me to upload her picture, offer letter and address for credence . Everyday and encounter gives us inside life stories...may our stories be beautiful.

No lady here will ever marry a man below her class. None. But they will suggest that love should lead the way when it comes to men marrying...

This is fact...Ladies rarely go back in class, lifestyle or otherwise...If she was dating a man that has a car...the rest of her men including her husband must have a car..Shikina.
Fact: Men can't go back sexually, if he has received a particular kind of sex from his former girlfriend, you the new girlfriend or wife must update your sexual menu.. because you will lose that man...

Marry same class or upgrade her to your class( a lot of hurdles)...
Love no dey pay bills..Love is not enough especially in marriage.....When you are married to a girl...her siblings or Family problems indirectly becomes yours, if not you don't love her enough, she will say.. Remember your family too..
Men...Marry a lady whom you know her family won't depend on you at least..

crackhaus:

Marry within your social class.

This does not imply that people who are below/above your social strata are not good enough for you, it's just safer and simpler overall to marry someone within the same class – you will neither be a saviour, nor be the saved.

And you should be aware that a social class is not based on what you/she earns, because this can easily change in either direction depending on the weather of economics.
A social class factors everything including but not limited to upbringing, family background, educational level/qualifications, etc.

Yes you are right. It’s not about money so I’m surprised some ladies here have made it about money. She’s working and earning a very good pay, but it doesn’t change her social class.

It depends! Marry her if both of you share the same ethical leanings - strong ethical leanings - provided that both of you're conscientious and mutually have altruistic interest for each other, you have nothing to worry about. Only a conscientious woman who has an altruistic interest in you/a woman who's the attribute to be submissive deserves a conscientious man's love or even worship.

However, if both of you're from weak ethical leanings - perfidious personalities - discard her with alacrity. Look for another perfidious lady who isn't just 100% materially better than you but equally comes from a family with long and old material possessions - just spare conscientious ladies you might see while on this route - and give her a dose of her own medicine. Perfidious people - crass and opportunistic people - don't deserve love and its benefits.

Mariangeles:


Where do you churn out these stories from?
No offense, but you seem to always have one and ready to whip it up when the situation/topic calls for it

Oh my Jesus!!!!!

crackhaus:

Marry within your social class.

This does not imply that people who are below/above your social strata are not good enough for you, it's just safer and simpler overall to marry someone within the same class – you will neither be a saviour, nor be the saved.

And you should be aware that a social class is not based on what you/she earns, because this can easily change in either direction depending on the weather of economics.
A social class factors everything including but not limited to upbringing, family background, educational level/qualifications, etc.

The bolded part shows u get it 100%. I think op sud change the tittle to "marrying from same social class" or something, so ppl cud really comprehend.

It's not really about what you earn, tho what u earn cud top u up, but that in the real sense doesn't define social class.

Someone who earns 250k n tell his babe dey are not in d same class because she earns way lower (as someone claimed up there) does not have a class or standard to begin with. He only has negative pride (ego) he seems to have forgotten there are higher places than that, that's not class.

kukusdot:

Yes, you are right. It’s not about money so I’m surprised some ladies here have made it about money. She’s working and earning very good pay, but it doesn’t change her social class.

So, of what social class do you belong to that she does not? Or do you belong to an elitist family and she doesn't?

sisisioge:


Oshey! He seek her out to date without minding the class in the first place....dont go near him/her if you consider them not good enough! It's that simple.

A friend got the talk from an azzzshhole camouflaged as a " work harder pep talk" while insulting her and her lineage for not having money. Chai...I was so angry with the modaforker!

He is a real mordafucka, in fact!

I just hope she doesn't make the mistake of going back to him.

UyaiIncomparabl:


He is a real mordafucka, in fact!

I just hope she doesn't make the mistake of going back to him.

For where! The last time I slept at her place, he had the audacity to be knocking at her gate at 11pm and calling her phone simultaneously to clarify the "misconception". She didn't even answer him. And if you see him o, he's means sef isn't impressive. All those boys that would rather spend 1m on renting a flat they can not even afford to furnish ni o. Idiiat will bite his silly tongue eventually.

Mariangeles:

Where do you churn out these stories from?
No offense, but you seem to always have one and ready to whip it up when the situation/topic calls for it

This is how the stories are churned and whipped each time the situation/topic calls for it

Mariangeles:


I feel sorry for people with vain mindsets like yours.
It is easier for them to make costly mistakes in life.
The quality of a human being is not determined by the amount of things they possess, social class, outward look, level of education...
The quality of a human is determined by how rich and generous their soul is.

What impact has this person made in your life is what you should consider the most?
Go read the book of ecclesiastes, it might change your perception of life.

There's no need to feel sorry.

kukusdot:

Yes you are right. It’s not about money so I’m surprised some ladies here have made it about money. She’s working and earning a very good pay, but it doesn’t change her social class.

So, you feel you're better than her?
Taking away everything you think you have, what is your life worth as a human being?
What is your substance?

kukusdot:

There's no need to feel sorry.

What were your true intentions towards her when you approached her? Be honest

I mean, you saw right from the start that you were "better than her"
Was it that deep down you felt you could afford to give her whatever she wanted, therefore you had the rights to play with her feelings?