sisisioge:


For where! The last time I slept at her place, he had the audacity to be knocking at her gate at 11pm and calling her phone simultaneously to clarify the "misconception". She didn't even answer him. And if you see him o, he's means sef isn't impressive. All those boys that would rather spend 1m on renting a flat they can not even afford to furnish ni o. Idiiat will bite his silly tongue eventually.

Lool you are really vexing on behalf of this your friend, I know how annoying things like this can be

For men it's better if he stays within his class or at most a step lower. For women it's better if she stays in her class or goes a step higher. But but jumping classes eg upper class jumping middle class and going for lower class takes a toil on both partners cos each social class has a different orientation and sense of reasoning.

Mariangeles:


What were your true intentions towards her when you approached her? Be honest

I mean, you saw right from the start that you were "better than her"
Was it that deep down you felt you could afford give her whatever she wanted, therefore you had the rights to play with her feelings?

You don’t have to make assumptions. You know you are already biased, so you are more likely make unfair judgements.

I wanted to give her a chance, like I would anybody. And I did. But sometimes, you realize you have made a mistake only after taking the step. I won't go into the details, but yeah, I gave her a chance.

Mariangeles:


So, you feel you're better than her?
Taking away everything you think you have, what is your life worth as a human being?
What is your substance?

No, I don't feel I'm better than her. Some of your questions are not even questions because they have no real answers. "What is [my] substance?" That's not a question. You are just getting philosophical. What's your own substance, if I may ask?

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one should consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

If you're concerned about social ladders, you are not in love, so, stop deceiving yourself and keep to that line, find a person that best suits your goals and leave that girl for her type joor.

kukusdot:

You don’t have to make assumptions. You know you are already biased, so you are more likely make unfair judgements.

I wanted to give her a chance, like I would anybody. And I did. But sometimes, you realize you have made a mistake only after taking the step. I won't go into the details, but yeah, I gave her a chance.

Pity is not love. Let her be abeg.

kukusdot:

You don’t have to make assumptions. You know you are already biased, so you are more likely make unfair judgements.

I wanted to give her a chance, like I would anybody. And I did. But sometimes, you realize you have made a mistake only after taking the step. I won't go into the details, but yeah, I gave her a chance.

Not everyone can understand u, I know exactly how u feel and I'm sure few other people here do also. Y not just focus on that? Remember if u weren't like that person u are quoting u wudnt end up this way. Now u know better

Social class is about values and standards, ur thinking faculty wudnt just be on the same level. If u know fully well u can't cope, make the best decision now. U will both save yourselves time and energy.

It's not about u alone, you are helping the babe too, many people wudnt just see it that way. Wen it comes to marriage, social class is essential. This is reality not movie

addictiv:
For men it's better if he stays within his class or at most a step lower. For women it's better if she stays in her class or goes a step higher. But but jumping classes eg upper class jumping middle class and going for lower class takes a toil on both partners cos each social class has a different orientation and sense of reasoning.

If I av to break it down, u'l see reasons y a step lower or higher might not even be advisable (tho more likely to work). Ppl sud just learn to stay in their class, it pays, they wudnt just realize.

annex1:
Double standards analogies.

If Nairaland was a football match, nobody will score because everyone will be shifting post.

Mr. Kuku, marry from your social strata.
But if you know you've got enough money, and if this lady is confident, appreciative and got potentials, invest in her. Some people only need opportunity and the right guidance to sprout in life.

Unpopular opinion.

Hahaha. Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you.

Lol at shifting goal post.

This song would be good for teaching gym classes.

Bukatyne, ishilove, sisioge etc register for classes.

Meanwhile playing song

* Up and down and up and down

Up up down down...

gbami:
No lady here will ever marry a man below her class. None. But they will suggest that love should lead the way when it comes to men marrying...

This is fact...Ladies rarely go back in class, lifestyle or otherwise...If she was dating a man that has a car...the rest of her men including her husband must have a car..Shikina.
Fact: Men can't go back sexually, if he has received a particular kind of sex from his former girlfriend, you the new girlfriend or wife must update your sexual menu.. because you will lose that man...

Marry same class or upgrade her to your class( a lot of hurdles)...
Love no dey pay bills..Love is not enough especially in marriage.....When you are married to a girl...her siblings or Family problems indirectly becomes yours, if not you don't love her enough, she will say.. Remember your family too..
Men...Marry a lady whom you know her family won't depend on you at least..

There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells.

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.

ImaIma1:


There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells.

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.

Where is ladies dey see all those useless guys sef?

There are many humble, nice and hardworking guys out there... Why is it only egoistic, womanising, gold diggers una dey see?

oweniwe:


Where is ladies dey see all those useless guys sef?

There are many humble, nice and hardworking guys out there... Why is it only egoistic, womanising, gold diggers una dey see?

You are right. The guy I met next would either offer to drive or recline in the passenger's seat while I drove. He was not petty and was perfect.

ImaIma1:

[s]There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells.

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.[/s]

See this beautiful scripted nonsense,u think is only infants dat full nairaland bah. She says women dont marry down because they dont want to bruise guys ego, whu are you kidding wit this rubbish talk? . Women dont marry down simply because of self interest nd greed and wanting a better life than the one you were living as a single girl, simple and short!!!!!

Just look at how u re trying to paint one angelic model of women as people who are considering the ego of a man before dating him, well except you mean ego as in chuba ego billi billi

saucecode:

See this beautiful scripted nonsense,u think is only infants dat full nairaland bah. She say women dont marry down because they dont want to bruise guys ego, whu are you kidding wit this rubbish talk? . Women dont marry down simply because of self interest nd greed and wanting a better life than the one you were living as a single girl, simple and short!!!!!

Just look at how u re trying to paint one angelic model of women as people who are considering the ego of a man before dating him, well except you mean ego as in chuba ego billi billi

I don't get your point. But your comment is noted.

ImaIma1:


I don't get your point. But your comment is noted.

Enn na, hw will u get it? pretending is part of female nature. Sometin dats as clear as day light,u have suddenly develop sight problem

ImaIma1:


There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.

This is the major issue and thats why some ladies wouldn't want to marry a guy they earn more than ((doesnt matter if its a little difference) even if they are within the same class.

E.g Guy earns 100k, lady earns 150k both are from the same average family - they are within the same class but the fact that she earns slightly more is a big issue to some (let's say a large percentage of Nigerian) men.

Why inconvenience your self and the lady simply because you do not want a woman to drive you I don't gerrit.

ImaIma1:


There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells.

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.

This part cracked me up seriously. He obviously has self-esteem issue. Sorry about the walk dearie, thank goodness it was walk not trek.

oweniwe:


Where is ladies dey see all those useless guys sef?

There are many humble, nice and hardworking guys out there... Why is it only egoistic, womanising, gold diggers una dey see?

They are the most common here. When u are not in a sane society, what do u expect? I agree with you tho, there are still reasonable guys, but if u were a lady u'd understand they are not as many as u said.

saucecode:

Enn na, hw will u get it? pretending is part of female nature. Sometin dats as clear as day light,u have suddenly develop sight problem

Your obvious bias/prejudice for women is written everywhere and is covering up the sense you would have made in your comments.

As I said, your comment is noted.

NoToPile:


This is the major issue and thats why some ladies wouldn't want to marry a guy they earn more than ((doesnt matter if its a little difference) even if they are within the same class.

E.g Guy earns 100k, lady earns 150k both are from the same average family - they are within the same class but the fact that she earns slightly more is a big issue to some (let's say a large percentage of Nigerian) men.

Why inconvenience your self and the lady simply because you do not want a woman to drive you I don't gerrit.

Yes, even in the same class or range. Years back also, my colleague from a different branch and I were supposed to hang out after work. He came all the way from his branch. When it was time to leave and he realized I was going to drive him, he was embarrassed. He cancelled o and said another time. I was just amazed

The guys on this forum won't agree that this is a major issue for them. Instead one is there cancelling comment.

I am not saying all guys have that inflated ego but it is very common. I finally met one that was not threatened by the "small car" that was causing wahala.

sherylbakky:
This part cracked me up seriously. He obviously has self-esteem issue. Sorry about the walk dearie, thank goodness it was walk not trek.

He did have issues. And he actually ended up secretely marrying a mentally challenged colleague from a very wealthy family.

sherylbakky:
This part cracked me up seriously. He obviously has self-esteem issue. Sorry about the walk dearie, thank goodness it was walk not trek.

He did have issues. And he actually ended up secretely marrying a mentally challenged colleague from a very wealthy family.

ImaIma1:

[s]Your obvious bias/prejudice for women is written everywhere and is covering up the sense you would have made in your comments.

As I said, your comment is noted.[/s]

Yes na, it's bias &prejudice 2 say dat women only marry up because they want a better life dan before and dont wanna suffer, not because of one nonsense consideration of hurting a man's ego Yu ppl shud keep deceiving urselves wit big big english

Dis is y I like ybaby, if it's her now she will say it as it is, not dis ur yeye diversionary stories to prove wat sef, dat u dint marry man because u had a car or u still married down, which one?

Would one who genuinely loves his or her partner bother much about class? As long as both partners understand themselves, why should economic status be an issue? I also wonder why people date who they feel they cannot marry, especially since economic status is something that can easily be detected when we meet and interact with people.

Happiness is and should be one of the key factors in a relationship. So, if you are happy with her and both of you are compatible with each other, marry her. You never know, at times, both of you could be each other's helper and succeed in life. Success doesnt happen overnight. Having a midas touch is stuff of fairytales.

kukusdot:
What would you guys consider, marrying down or marrying up?
Do you think it matters? Is it something one should consider when choosing a spouse?
if you are already in a good position in life and have advanced the social ladder, is it a good idea to marry down?

I'm asking myself all these questions, because I'm a little worried. I have a girlfriend who really is down there in terms of social class. I don't know if I want to marry down. It bothers me a lot.

saucecode:

Yes na, it's bias &prejudice 2 say dat women only marry up because they want a better life dan before and dont wanna suffer, not because of one nonsense consideration of hurting a man's ego Yu ppl shud keep deceiving urselves wit big big english

Did is y I like ybaby, if it's her now she will say it as it is, not dis ur yeye diversionary stories to prove wat sef, dat u dint marry man because u had a car or u still married down, which one?

Your opinion has been duly noted.

You are even one of those childish ones that cancel comments . At least you have one more comment to cancel.

ImaIma1:


There are many factors involved in a lady not wanting to marry or date down. It is very easy to bruise a guy's ego when you are higher than him. And that might make the lady constantly walking on egg shells.

I once shared here how I had a date with a guy that I had been talking to. I drove to meet him while he took a taxi or public transport because he didn't have a car. We wanted to move from our meeting point to where we were going to hang out. Do you know that this guy refused to enter the car? We had to walk down there in the hot sun.

It was sooo obvious that he was uncomfortable with the fact that I drove and he couldn't just let me drive him. We didn't see after that.

Some guys cannot handle it. Who wants to keep apologising for being up if you are with a guy that has a big ego.

Every thing you said is true, First I want make a statement that there is nothing wrong with "low self esteem" in certain situations. It simply an integral part of life depending on the event & also changes with time & maturity. There are also extreme cases where a Guy can be completely stupid, which your case was clearly an example of. I wouldn't want to suffer my date by allowing her walk when she has a car. Makes zero sense!

A man needs different things to boost his confidence, Self esteem is usually tied to something of substance, people may deny it all they want.
It may be looks, money, personality, talent, exceptional intelligence etc. You need to have one else you would just be living a fake life with a fake self esteem. A lady smart enough would soon realise & move on.

I agree with you & I don't recommend a lady marrying a guy who earns less, for his own sake.

ImaIma1:

[s]Your opinion has been duly noted.

You are even one of those childish ones that cancel comments . At least you have one more comment to cancel.[/s]

Nah unu way, wen u vagina ppl have notin else to say, its to age shame or broke shame dat is d next step

Mafren clear road jor wit ur tori abt hw women dont marry lower men because his ego wont take it. Only u & ur fellow v ppl can convince urselfs of dat crap wen everyone including u ppl know the real reason

tosinhtml:


Every thing you said is true, First I want make a statement that there is nothing wrong with "low self esteem" in certain situations. It simply an integral part of life depending on the event & also changes with time & maturity. There are also extreme cases where a Guy can be completely stupid, which your case was clearly an example of. I wouldn't want to suffer my date by allowing her walk when she has a car. Makes zero sense!

A man needs different things to boost his confidence, Self esteem is usually tied to something of substance, people may deny it all they want.
It may be looks, money, personality, talent, exceptional intelligence etc. You need to have one else you would just be living a fake life with a fake self esteem. A lady smart enough would soon realise & move on.

I agree with you & I don't recommend a lady marrying a guy who earns less, for his own sake.

That's the truth. But some people do not understand or agree with my comment.

Some men cannot handle a woman being seemingly higher one way or the other because they will get offended at every little thing and attribute it to her status.

Meanwhile, there are still guys that don't get bothered or threatened by a lady because they themselves are confident.

ImaIma1:

[s]That's the truth. But some people do not understand or agree with my comment.

Some men cannot handle a woman being seemingly higher one way or the other because they will get offended at every little thing and attribute it to her status.

Meanwhile, there are still guys that don't get bothered or threatened by a lady because they themselves are confident.[/s]

Keep quoting urself. every time,dat same username will jst jump out of hibernation 2 support u & ur opinions . Anyama

ImaIma1:


Your opinion has been duly noted.

You are even one of those childish ones that cancel comments . At least you have one more comment to cancel.

He is the slow type.

Ybaby:


He is the slow type.

Thanks for the heads up.

Though I figured it out when he concluded that I am the same person as tosinhtml