₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
I don't want to chase the sex angle so let me say this and drop it:

1. If a dominant husband tells his wife to 'lie on the couch for him', does the wife have the option to say no?
2. If the husband is to dictate the pace of sex, then the wife's consent might not matter much because whoever has the consent to give dictates the pace of sex in that relationship.

That reponse reeks of insight knowledge, are you sure you are (f) cos you know what you are saying ... just few days ago these "consent" tin came up, babe said she is tired i just take her up without seeking consent reminding me it her body, as much as i hate to shalaye, had to use rhetorical questions to save d day.
fact : whu ever gives consent would dictate the pace,automatically dorminance eludes d asker

liberalchick:
Go back and read your own post. There is no ambiguity when it comes to consent. The author of your post already said if your sex partner is unwilling, (yes! That would include not wanting to lie on the couch, if you don’t want to) then you can’t rape them.

According to the author, the woman has to be willing to be a submissive and not coerced. What you’re implying is a slave and master relationship. There’s a difference between a leader and a dictator. A leader is chosen to lead, a dictator imposes his will.

Agreed there is a wide difference between a leader & a dictator, buh where most fail to see the similarity is both characters impose there wish & interest on people just that a leader manipulates while a dictator coerces.
The sweet thing about manipulation is it doesnt require force, you simply use whatever knowledge you have or your intelligences to overide peoples mind, once they believe your interest will benefit them you can alway influence their decisions.
Note: before a leader is chosen he/she must have showcase some attributes, there is no way he won't have made some dominant moves among his peer, its more like a requisite to stay on top.

ValCon888:
The only way to dominate a Nigerian woman is with money. Sexual prowess don't cut it these days.

learn where & when to quit some talks, i know a lot of men with money that are been controlled.

ImaIma1:
It's easier to have successful relationships/marriage when the parties involved are being themselves. When someone has to keep learning to be a type of character that doesn't come naturally, it is tedious and unnecessary.

Also, a man that wants to be the alpha or a dominant figure in the home should marry someone who aligns with his plans, and not marry someone with a strong character and now try to break or change her.

You forgetting something here, life is too unfair for things to be that easy, an alpha won't go for an easy target, except 4 hit & run whats challenging about an easy target.
I know a tough friend (lady) with the mentality whoever will marry me must be tougher for the r/ship to work. she is yet to love any guy cos according to her they do whatever she says which seems to be her turnoff. life is not 1+1

RightsToReject:
As a man, conquer yourself, then hack her mind, and know her ethical leanings. You must have in-depth knowledge of human psychology to be able to hack another person's mind successfully. Her ethical leanings will determine whether or not her core interest is something you can willingly and cheerfully satisfy and sustain continually, and whether or not you need to condition her first before getting the best out of her. Watch her walk and work with you on your philosophy for the rest of your lives or as long as you wish, once you get these done .

A small percentage of women inherently possess the attribute of submission while majority don't, so for anyone within the majority percentage, you need to make her voluntarily servile through mind conditioning to have her walk and work with you on your philosophy. As for any of the ones who have the attribute of submission inherently, your conscientious and altruistic actions towards her will make her glow and radiate with positive energy continually.

@bold:

Have you read any of Gbile Akanni's books on marriage before?

ImaIma1:
To avoid stories that touch, he should change and become the alpha figure before he settles down. So that he won't try to change on an unsuspecting woman.

Hmmmmmm

Afi change on an suspecting woman though.

mariahAngel:
All I have to say is, if you as man, you go into a relationship with a domineering mindset, you better be ready to keep up the act because it'll OVERWHELM you at the end of it all.

Before you know it, you'll lose yourself to a domineering beast you've become.
NO WOMAN TRULY WANTS A DOMINEERING MAN.
WOMEN WANT LEADERS.

Dominant: Having power or influence over others https://www.google.com/search?q=dominant&oq=dominant+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2j69i60l2.14984j1j7&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Domineering: asserts one's will over another in an arrogant way https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&ei=vlhPX_S5C5KZ1fAPmIeegAo&q=domineering&oq=domineering&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyEAgAELEDEIMBEJECEEYQ-QEyBQgAEJECMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAOgQIABBHOgIIKToHCAAQsQMQQzoECAAQQzoFCAAQsQM6CAgAELEDEIMBOgUILhCxAzoKCAAQkQIQRhD5AToLCAAQsQMQgwEQkQI6CQgAEAoQRhD5AToECAAQClCMrwlY5O0JYJDuCWgCcAN4AIABzQKIAZIUkgEFMi01LjSYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

Dominance is about influence

The question is 'what degree of influence is ok'?

DrLiveLogic:
All these write-ups on how to handle a woman are just DoAs. Couldn't read through it cause most of these just tickle the fancy of the readers, they don't really solve the underlying problem and although they may be making some good points, they're more or less really are just tryna build an exotic house without a foundation.
The foundation to true success, the unleashing of one's potentials and hence masculinity is in the conquest of oneself rather than conquering another or how you relate with another. This is the whole syllabus of masculinity. Once you overcome yourself, you've already placed yourself above all others. That's expensive truth.
The secret to letting loose your masculinity is conquering your own self, your weaknesses, your urges, emotions, rather than how to manage some woman. A woman in the picture merely compromises the authenticity of the conquest and she can never qualify as a conquest but is ultimately just one who needs your guidance and discipline, like a child (with many excesses), to maximize her own potential. Plus, try as she may, even in her most genuine attempts, a woman's natural tendencies incapacitate her in helping any man arrive at his own masculinity. She does not know the way into it and cannot conceive the rigours behind it though she definitely craves it. So even OP cannot help her husband.
The conquest of self is a costly, deliberate, persevering lifestyle of discipline with a clear aim of increasing capacity until death. Forget about everyone else, even wife and focus on yourself as the task and the project. Learn your weaknesses and slave for knowledge to conquer each and you'll learn how to manage every other human gaining the psychologically edge over all. This is the key to true masculinity. As a matter of fact, EVERY sane woman will automatically submit to you, if you let this man in you out. A struggle with a woman for authority undermines it, even if you win. True authority is voluntary submission to the one who is proven worthy.
The potential to succeed is equal in all men but circumstances and choices lend to remould men into disappointments....
....gotta go for now.

Wait a minute....OP bukatyne, over to you, have you given your husband these and what has been the result?

Let's discuss after you have read the OP.

mariahAngel:
Bukatyne, are you encouraging male dominance in marriages?
If men want total dominance in their marriage, they might as well marry robots.

I saw an article and posted here for discussion.

I have not started encouraging anything yet.

A man having total dominance (as explained in that article) doesn't mean a robot.

Which of the points don't you agree to?

mariahAngel:
Hack her mind? OMG!
What an unattractive mindset.
For you to even attempt to do that, she'd have to be very interested in you first.
Women are humans like men, not conquests.

Would renewing of the mind or tweaking her to like your tastes sound better!?

You know where I got the first phrase from right?

@ Hacking, that has actually been taught by Gbile Akanni.

In his words, you study her mind and 'gently' replace what you don't like with your own views of the subject matter.

mariahAngel:
Acidosis, your reasonably mature mind is needed here ASAP!

bukatyne:
Dominant: Having power or influence over others https://www.google.com/search?q=dominant&oq=dominant+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2j69i60l2.14984j1j7&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Domineering: asserts one's will over another in an arrogant way https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&ei=vlhPX_S5C5KZ1fAPmIeegAo&q=domineering&oq=domineering&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyEAgAELEDEIMBEJECEEYQ-QEyBQgAEJECMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAOgQIABBHOgIIKToHCAAQsQMQQzoECAAQQzoFCAAQsQM6CAgAELEDEIMBOgUILhCxAzoKCAAQkQIQRhD5AToLCAAQsQMQgwEQkQI6CQgAEAoQRhD5AToECAAQClCMrwlY5O0JYJDuCWgCcAN4AIABzQKIAZIUkgEFMi01LjSYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

Dominance is about influence

The question is 'what degree of influence is ok'?

...and power over others.

Now, the question is for what purpose? To control and lord over the other?

crackhaus:
Lol, then perhaps you're referring to a different type of change than the one the guy you quoted was referring to.

As an addendum to the article, I believe dominance to be a natural trait and is more common/easy with certain personality types. Yes it can be learnt, but it won't particularly feel original to a woman who's very observant.

For instance, a woman who met/dated her husband and didn't notice any characteristics of dominance, then all of sudden at one point during their marriage, he probably learns about this stuff and tries to act in accordance... the result will be resistance from her and an eventual cascade of problems, not because she may not like dominant men but because this wasn't the man she married/fell in love with.
Change in this instance is catastrophic.

The solution I believe, is that change, with regards to dominance in marriage, is best achieved outside/precluding the presence of a wife.
For a man who's not naturally dominant but seeks to be so, he ought to develop himself for himself before entering a committed marriage-bound relationship. It is only after this self-development that it becomes imperative to make a choice of spouse strictly among women who would appreciate dominance in their men.

Doing it in reverse will likely be counterproductive, which is how I interpret that number 2 in the article from the author.
Don't start out as a 'yes man' and then try to become dominant afterwards (this is bad for the woman), or start out as a dominant man and then turn into a 'yes man' (this is bad for the man).

I have actually seen this play out and both parties adjust to the relationship especially when it was previously toxic.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Have you read any of Gbile Akanni's books on marriage before?

No. As a matter of fact, I haven't opened a marriage or relationship book ever in my life. Who's Gbile Akanni?

crackhaus:
But that's not a difference in tone, just a difference in language... unless you're trying to imply that Spanish men have a more sexy relationship with women than Yoruba men.

Please stop watching Telemundo

With the man in Yoruba, there's a tone with which it can be spoken and he'll still get the desired sexy effect in his woman. Same way the Spanish man could use a dictatorial tone and be met with resistance.

I was just teasing

I don't do Telemundo, they know nothing about love.

I don't know why people think slow people in love triangles are fun or a depiction of love.

When you talk Turkish movies where the resistance to love is parents, class or health challenges, I am there.

On a serious note, I think there are some languages that are romantic than others. They have richer vocabulary and more expressive.

backbone503:
The alpha male is not a macho man. He is one, in whom the male and female energies are harmoniously balanced. The male who is strong, yet kind. Confident, but humble. Powerful, but tempered and calm. Firm, yet highly flexible.

Sometimes, a better way of showing how powerful you're is by not showing it (at least, in the manner expected of you).

Awwwwwwwwww.

bukatyne:
Would renewing of the mind or tweaking her to like your tastes sound better!?

You know where I got the first phrase from right?

@ Hacking, that has actually been taught by Gbile Akanni.

In his words, you study her mind and 'gently' replace what you don't like with your own views of the subject matter.

Urgh!

Why would her mind need to be "tweaked" to conform to another? Does that seem right to you?
How about exploring her mind and what she's about to compliment yours?

backbone503:
Strength without love produces the brute, and love without strength produces the weakling. For the alpha male, harmony and balance are the watchword.

Women are meant to be rightly loved and not domineered nor forced to be submissive. Power takes, love gives. In true love, there is no power, yet there is no power that can stand true love. This is the true strength, and the power of love.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Very correct in all phases of life.

bukatyne:
Awwwwwwwwww.

You see? That is a man who's not on a quest for dominance, yet he knows who is and what he stands for

UjuJoan2:
I guess it depends on the tone, just like the Author said. And in any case, it's much better than "begging" for sex. That is a complete turn off!

A Number of men beg because they are often rejected by their wives na.

And they don't want to cheat or 'force' her.

What do you advise they do?

mutter:
Poor men!
They need to be empowered.

How?

bukatyne:
Dominant: Having power or influence over others https://www.google.com/search?q=dominant&oq=dominant+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l2j69i60l2.14984j1j7&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

Domineering: asserts one's will over another in an arrogant way https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&ei=vlhPX_S5C5KZ1fAPmIeegAo&q=domineering&oq=domineering&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyEAgAELEDEIMBEJECEEYQ-QEyBQgAEJECMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAOgQIABBHOgIIKToHCAAQsQMQQzoECAAQQzoFCAAQsQM6CAgAELEDEIMBOgUILhCxAzoKCAAQkQIQRhD5AToLCAAQsQMQgwEQkQI6CQgAEAoQRhD5AToECAAQClCMrwlY5O0JYJDuCWgCcAN4AIABzQKIAZIUkgEFMi01LjSYAQCgAQHAAQE&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

Dominance is about influence

The question is 'what degree of influence is ok'?

At the point where the man is influencing his wife against her will and inspite of her objections, then he has moved into the realm of being domineering which is about control, not influence.

Influence and control are another two words that could easily be blurred, but are really very different.

A dominant man is a psychologically astute man, so it will never come off like he is being controlling.

angelfallz:
I can do a whole write up on this, but i would keep it brief.

Many of the things in that article are true. But they are just bullet points that were co-opted from the true Red Pill Praxeology.

In his book "The Rational Male; Positive Masculinity" Rollo Tomassi warned that there would people that try to profit off 'the red pill truths". They do so by watering down "The Red pill Truth" and serving up the parts of it that are palatable.
It is "Red pill" for a reason, because it is the bitter, undiluted, burning truth.

Also, Rollo Tomassi points out that no matter how sincere a woman is, in trying to make her man a dominant/alpha male, the feminine imperative and her own hypergamous nature would always interfere. (I'm saying don't trust the article seek out the true red pill truth)

Only those guys that are versed in the red pill would be able to deduce that the article has been watered down.

i saw some guys in the comments arguing against the red pill or missing the point and some downright dismissing it as a sham, DrLiveLogic and crackhaus comes to mind, i would encourage you guys to download and read, "The Rational Male; Positive Masculinity by Rollo Tomassi" perhaps it would aid your understanding of the red pill truth, and help you understand the inter sexual relationship dynamics between men and women.

**ADDED***
For those of you saying that the man should carry on pretending being an alpha male, just know this, being an alpha male is a mindset, it is a life style. You can't fake it.

I am trying to reconcile your posts with the OP.

Red Pill doesn't have the monopoly of certain ideals.

And last I remembered, it is anti-marriage so it is not going to be same.

Jman06:
Never allow your fantasy drive you into a miserable marriage!

Fantasy is very different from reality.

Nufsaid.

Hahahahahahaha!

This is funny

crackhaus:
At the point where the man is influencing his wife against her will and inspite of her objections, then he has moved into the realm of being domineering which is about control, not influence.

Influence and control are another two words that could easily be blurred, but are really very different.

A dominant man is a psychologically astute man, so it will never come off like he is being controlling.

No matter how you sugarcoat it, there's a very thin line between dominant and domineering, that is, if they don't mean the same thing as you said.

jornwhite:
That reponse reeks of insight knowledge, are you sure you are (f) cos you know what you are saying ... just few days ago these "consent" tin came up, babe said she is tired i just take her up without seeking consent reminding me it her body, as much as i hate to shalaye, had to use rhetorical questions to save d day.
fact : whu ever gives consent would dictate the pace,automatically dorminance eludes d asker

I hope you don't mean you slept with the girl against her wish?

@ Your first paragraph, it is common sense.

bukatyne:
I am trying to reconcile your posts with the OP.

Red Pill doesn't have the monopoly of certain ideals.

And last I remembered, it is anti-marriage so it is not going to be same.

Red pill! Red pill!! Red pill!!

What does that sh!t even mean 'cause I have bothered to find out? is it like a worm expellant?

mariahAngel:
...and power over others.

Now, the question is for what purpose? To control and lord over the other?

Let's do this.

Jesus Christ is our Lord and personal savior right?

Christian means 'like Christ'.

Is Jesus Christ dominant over the Church?

bukatyne:
I hope you don't mean you slept with the girl against her wish?

@ Your first paragraph, it is common sense.

That is exactly what it means!

That is a trait of a dominant man.

RightsToReject:
No. As a matter of fact, I haven't opened a marriage or relationship book ever in my life. Who's Gbile Akanni?

A pastor.

bukatyne:
I was just teasing

I don't do Telemundo, they know nothing about love.

I don't know why people think slow people in love triangles are fun or a depiction of love.

When you talk Turkish movies where the resistance to love is parents, class or health challenges, I am there.

On a serious note, I think there are some languages that are romantic than others. They have richer vocabulary and more expressive.

Tehehe... It's the cinematic effect of movies making you assume this. Don't be racist to your own self

I guess you would say French is a more romantic language than English, but let me trip you up a bit.
French is the official language of some African countries like Senegal and Cote d'Ivoire. Do you still consider French a sexy/romantic language when it is spoken by these Africans or does it only seem sexy/romantic when it's coming from the mouth of a white-skin person living in France?

Also, Equatorial Guinea uses Spanish as their official language, would you say it still sounds sexy/romantic when coming from the mouth of a black man?

bukatyne:
Let's do this.

Jesus Christ is our Lord and personal savior right?

Christian means 'like Christ'.

Is Jesus Christ dominant over the Church?

Jesus Christ is the Lord of the church.