₦airaland Forum

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

dingbang:
Apply the ten plagues in Egypt incident



She will leave your house to her mum's who will na be taking care of her.

Juliearth:
There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

SmellingAnus:
You are going through what many married couples go through...

All I can say is that you are not married to that girl... Use your tongue to count your teeth and advise yourself...

sheepheart:
Where do you guys with good heart always jam these types of ladies that can't even manage resources #700 can still buy half kilo of chicken or fish or at worst smoked fish to make a delicious pot of soup.

When y'all be prioritizing wrongly the attributes to look out for in a lady.

Juliearth:
Blessed are you amongst other men to know your wife's true colours. Marry a woman that can support you through thick and thin... Is she handicapped? What is stopping her from setting up a small business to support you? That you didn't have the best childhood experience doesn't mean you should be a dunce and a fool for love.

You have a child with her, you can cater for that child's wellbeing, but that doesn't necessarily mean marrying the mother of that child, especially since she has shown traits that you cannot cope with. Work out an arrangement with her to go back to her parents' house. Your mother can cater for your daughter for the time being...



You also need to work on your cheerful giving spirit. You are not God, stop playing God in people's lives by trying to help them. Learn to hear from God before helping and you should also know that there is a factor called "the rainy day". If your savings culture was topnotch, you may not have resorted to taking loans to pay rent and other things... People take loans for investments and not to sort liabilities. There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.

Bluntguy:
You are seeking for advice now because you don't have money in your pockets at the moment. Once you receive your pay now, she will welcome you home warmly and you will forget you ever asked for advice concerning her.
Now here is my advice:
Be patient till the next payday, you will soon smile again. Olodo!!!

merieam16:
Oga go and do the needful, even if its as little as only the bride pride.Its obvious that ur mother in law is nt happy with u and its nt a good sign

Lari03r:
Why are you co-habiting with a woman you haven't married?

You should be glad she has shown you who she is.

She doesn't work or contribute anything, yet she wants to dictate to you how to spend money.

My brother, use your head and send her packing.

Brachaa:

Now you want to put an end to it. You didn't know to put a stop when engaging in premarital sex??

Not trying to be judgmental here but I'm going to be very blunt.

When we advise people to take time and court, avoid premarital sex before living together as man and wife to avoid things like this that will force you against your wish to be with the wrong person, they'll bark at us. But when the consequences begin to arise, they run to people who they never sought advice from before now.

The deed is done. You and I know it will not be easy to opt out now as that will cause another round of problems that you might not be able to get out of till old age. So, just go and perform the marriage rites on her and learn to tolerate her excesses. There are no perfect marriages out there. Dont let anyone deceive. But if you feel you can easily get her off your neck, gently let her know of your in tensions and make arrangements on how you're going to be sending child care relief to her for your childs upkeep.

These are things that could have been avoided with simple chastity.

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

deltateam:
Courting for 20 years doesn't guarantee a good marriage.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.

UjuJoan2:
It's impressive to see a guy who still wants to take responsibility of his child, even though he's not married to the mother. It gives me hope that not all men are scum.

Now to the issue at hand. I always emphasize on the importance of money in a relationship. No woman wants to suffer or cook with 700 naira. It's not a happy place to be. But then your baby's mother is a greedy, wicked and irresponsible woman. She should happily cook with 700niara since she's not even your wife. She got pregnant for you and your responsibility is to your child, not to her too.

My advice, kick her out. Make sure you cater for your child and remain in her life. Buy the things she needs (the ones you can afford) monthly, and send to them. If she doesn't like it that way let her leave the child with you and go.

DO NOT MARRY THAT WOMAN! She will kill you before your time.

Juliearth:
Blessed are you amongst other men to know your wife's true colours. Marry a woman that can support you through thick and thin... Is she handicapped? What is stopping her from setting up a small business to support you? That you didn't have the best childhood experience doesn't mean you should be a dunce and a fool for love.

You have a child with her, you can cater for that child's wellbeing, but that doesn't necessarily mean marrying the mother of that child, especially since she has shown traits that you cannot cope with. Work out an arrangement with her to go back to her parents' house. Your mother can cater for your daughter for the time being...



You also need to work on your cheerful giving spirit. You are not God, stop playing God in people's lives by trying to help them. Learn to hear from God before helping and you should also know that there is a factor called "the rainy day". If your savings culture was topnotch, you may not have resorted to taking loans to pay rent and other things... People take loans for investments and not to sort liabilities. There is a video by pastor Smart Adeyemi. Its on giving. I would implore you to look for that video and pay heed to the content.