₦airaland Forum

OP just described the kind of relationship my stepmom have with my dad. That bitch made sure she destroyed every damn thing! She also made sure will suffer hell too, they keep saying men are scum, see women self are evil! We end up running away from home because of her, karma will catch up on her someday.

Be careful of those creatures in skirts, they can make you cry blood!

But I thank God sha

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

Simply send her to her parents since they didn't give you wife to marry. Send upkeep for your child monthly since she's obviously not ready to face life squarely. She's not prepared to be a wife or support you, but if you really did push her or went physical with her, better stop.

Run for your life

merieam16:
I feel ur pain bro buh wat exactly do u want us to do

That's a very immature response. Why not just keep mute if you have nothing tangible to contribute!

Poison her but don't kill her

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

I always try to imagine how somebody will be content staying at home, doing nothing, unproductive! It's always somehow, with which body will I take live day kain lifestyle?

You are part of your problem, I believe in due process, you didn't go it the normal way. What's baby mama when she can be a wife? Maybe it's that mentality that's causing her to misbehave. She wan chop anything she fit chop before she waka.
I see a wife helping her man to build a formidable dynasty, a financial fortress. Not disgusting babymamas! Some wives can be deal breakers too o!

@ dangerousdaddy, What's done is done. Maybe you missed those red flags while you both were without a baby. Your decision to be there for your daughter is good. The lady? She's cantankerous. It takes lotta restraint not to send such women to Igbobi wards.

A male colleague once told me he doesn't hide anything from his woman. As he collects his pay he surrenders everything to her. If she wants to spend it all in one day, it's left to her. They both suffer the consequences.

While I'm not advocating that you surrender your all to her, Let your "wife" know your financial standing. Let her know you have loans you're servicing. Let her know she can't have everything she desires especially as she's not contributing anything, educate her on needs and wants, then If after it all she's still unwise, please let her go. She's never gonna change. Whatever you have, ensure you send it for your baby's upkeep. She shouldn't suffer for the mess the adults are making. It's bad enough that she's not growing up in a normal home.

Next time dangerousdaddy, look before you leap.

Guy end it as soon as you can.

Please in the name of whatever you serve, please end it.

Don't walk into hell with your eyes open.

Please walk away.

God bless you.

Oga, you do not need the stress. Luckily you are not yet married. Do the needful. WALKA!

Let her Go. she doesn't want to be in relationship anymore. you trapped her, she wants to be free. if you don't let her go. it will end with tears and heartbreak and you guys will develop hatred for each other. I have been. there before.

adecz:
You are a 'little' daddy to
your relations

&

Baby daddy to your olosho...





Weh done daddy, daddy..

Hushdaddi.

Hahahaha!

elantraceey:
You should be glad you have not married her yet. But I have one question. Is she jobless?

Exactly the first question that came to my mind. A man that earns low needs a woman that works to help the family grow, even if its just 30k per month, it's something.

If the OP's statements are true, then that woman is a big liability. This is why premarital sex leads to suffering sometimes. It's all flexing till someone gets pregnant and the two hate each other.

Madmazel:
The only problem you have is how to manage your finances. Learn how to save, learn how to keep money for dry days. Also, learn how to say NO to some expenses that won't benefit you on the long run. Stop saying yes to every request from people to get money from you.

What you are yet to grasp is that, sir you are indirectly married now though you haven't done the rites. The way you spend money now and how to use it matters now to when she wasn't living with you or have a child for you. There are two more lives involved now.

Most women are like this in marriages. Most marriages experience this.The sole responsibility to take care of the house is solely on the man. Though wives are there to assist, but always remember it's your sole responsibility.

Wisdom is profitable to direct. Most women won't be comfortable with a dry spell from their husbands for too long. I guess this might be the only bad side about her. I'm sure they are other good qualities from her which you decide to stick with her before getting her pregnant.

They will tell you to leave her etc, They will tell you talk to her bla bla bla. No matter the talk, she won't change. You should learn how to manage the home better. And try and invest in her too like a business or something so something can be coming in from her side and less complains from her when things are tight from your own end.

I wish you all the best in your marriage, Shalom.

I love your reply the best thing to do for her is to set up a business for her,because even though they still legally marry tomorrow,the house will be so tense up if there is no money in to take care of bills,the best thing to do now is to establish her,i know this girl will still have some other good quality

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

op kpele o. This what fit some men. U will marry or date a girl when u r broke, she won't ask u for a dime. Some of u will call her name's ranging from uncivilize, mumu, not classical, not flashy the way u prefer ur woman to look like. And treat such woman with disdain. Forgetting that most girls that look flashy are being maintained by different men. Well, my advice to u is to break up with her now she have shown who she is. Some one that cannot manage with u when u don't have much should not be by urside. Let her go and meet her parents. Always send money for her upkeep and take proper care of ur baby always. Some girls don't have sense

quolahpoh:
Please what's the topic of the sermon so that it can be easy to look up online

I cannot remember, but I think it's about giving

UjuJoan2:
It's impressive to see a guy who still wants to take responsibility of his child, even though he's not married to the mother. It gives me hope that not all men are scum.

Now to the issue at hand. I always emphasize on the importance of money in a relationship. No woman wants to suffer or cook with 700 naira. It's not a happy place to be. But then your baby's mother is a greedy, wicked and irresponsible woman. She should happily cook with 700niara since she's not even your wife. She got pregnant for you and your responsibility is to your child, not to her too.

My advice, kick her out. Make sure you cater for your child and remain in her life. Buy the things she needs (the ones you can afford) monthly, and send to them. If she doesn't like it that way let her leave the child with you and go.

DO NOT MARRY THAT WOMAN! She will kill you before your time.

so because she's not wife yet the market women will give her fish for free??

You paid every bill that doesn't belong to you,you answer yes to every issues ..I meant both in and out of you..Even with your wife character..keep some money off her knowledge..and if she refuse to be of a helping hand let her go ...your child will grow up wisely...you needed a supportive woman not the devourers..

Na wa o. Who raises these kinds of useless girls of nowadays? Ogbeni run for your life.

You already identified the problem therefore, the solution is within your reach.

My humble advice is ask her what has come over her, remind her of her behaviour prior to the child birth, ask her what she wants, if she's able to tell you what is wrong and it's what you can resolve then solve it.

In a case where she remain a pain bro leave her but make arrangements for who has custody of your child, if you're gonna be seeing her weekends or some days in the week also set aside money for her upkeep and also keep in bank savings for her future use

I'm a father of 1 and I do not pray another man raise my child or become a part time dad but in your case you need to be alive, focus and keep your finances up in other to take care of her...

Note: woman change during and or after pregnancy but not to the point of becoming a pain in your life. My fiancee changed too and I went through hell, she chased away all my female friends till date I don't speak to my female friends or colleagues at work cause she called them all and warned them to keep away from me

You need to know if she's feeling insecure or inferior about her body changes then step in and assure her how you feel about her from start of the relationship...

God bless.

You have a child together dosent mean you must live together or you get to be responsible for her life, please let her go back to her parents while you pay her monthly upkeep to take care of your child, she should get a job and fund her lifestyle from it. Don't go and die before your time over undue pressure

elantraceey:
You should be glad you have not married her yet. But I have one question. Is she jobless?

Most are!

She No Dey Work? Get Her Something 2 Do. It Could Be Trade Or Anything. Take Note: Don't Give Her What She Wants, Give Her What She Needs. Program Urself On How U Spend Ur Money. Don't Take Any Shit 4rm Her. Be Wise.

well op its ur cross
so u just have to bear it and carry it
if to say she no get pickin for u u for easily tell her to park and carry her wahala go
but now pickin dey involved just bear her endless demands
relationship and marriage in nigeria is stressful anyway

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

I guess she didn't know ur salary, or its just d woman drama palava.

Her calculation prior to pregnancy is: this guy is generous to everyone, let me enter his life and benefit alone. Not knowing ur salary is somehow fixed, and if a generous man does not have source higher than his salary, he can't do pass himself.

Generous people are usually soft hearted.and softhearted being suffer a lot in the hand of women.

Ur intention for bringing that child to d world must be fulfilled. Don't be too soft.. And I can tell u, u saw a lot of signs before u got her pregnant bt u ignored dem.


If beer calms ur spirit, I will advice u to take one bottle before u get home..u won't take something's serious.

Bros u already said it, baby mama!!!
Even the bible said that he that findeth a wife not a baby mama. You should thank God you're not married to her. Exit the Co-habitation and as for your innocent daughter, weigh up who she's better growing up with and make your decision. U can always be there for her but if u continue with a woman like that, then deduct about 12 years from your full life span.

You can still be a father without being a husband. Unless those that you claim to give money to are women

mizlovette:
You have a child together dosent mean you must live together or you get to be responsible for her life, please let her go back to her parents while you pay her monthly upkeep to take care of your child, she should get a job and fund her lifestyle from it. Don't go and die before
your time over undue pressure

Beautiful.

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

What help exactly are you looking for? You better turn to Jesus and surrender your life to him. He will pilot the boat of your life.

That's the beginning of a sinful affair you had, without marriage.
Truly, your mother in-law was right.

Did you pay bride price?
She packed in with you as illegal wife.

She just reveal her true colour and it's going to get worse if you fail to hand over your life to Jesus.

Let her go and get back your Child when he's old enough to stay with you.

You can't be justified and that woman will always be right even though , she's wicked and dangerous since you didn't marry her legally.

Before you lose your sanity & humanity, take the right step. Majority of woman suffering domestic violence, are the root cause of it. Some women are extremely dangerous and do provoke men easily even with just their body language at home.

When pot Cooks yam, no one heard the voice
But when mortal and pestle begin its work, much noise was heard and so, same applicable to some women and gentle husband's

My brother, it's obvious you love this lady and the more reason why you had to bring her in to your house. I know some guys will accept the responsibilities of the child but not the mother. God bless you for that.

But now that she is showing her true colors, I want to point out some few points from your post;
1- This lady doesn't love you, the reason why she wants to live above your means.
2- I can bet my balls that she will only bring you grieve and put you in more debts because obviously she is not a home builder.
3- With her current Behavior, I want you to look into the future 5years from now, What do you think you can achieve with her by your side. Obviously nothing but more debts.
My Advice;
1- Tell her you will take responsibilities of your baby by giving her monthly upkeep for the baby.
2- Return her back to her mother. Obviously she can frame you up for something you know nothing about.

Bros na play una play and she get belle. So no tie yourself rope for neck. You go just die quick.

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

Has your girl's mother or your girl been asking you to do marriage rites? If yes, I understand where the girl's mother is coming from when she said 'she did not give you a wife'.

If nothing of the sort, please drop the girl in her mother's house.

It is easier to have a bad wife than to have bad in-laws.

If her mother is not looking to mediate between you two but taking sides, you are on a longgggggg thing.

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

I hope this makes front page

Did she carry her load and move in or you are dating and decided to live together?
Why are you living together if you don’t love her? Does she have a job/earning money somehow?

You don’t have to live together just because you got her pregnant.
You can also take care of your responsibilities as a father without living with the mother if you don’t love her and want to marry her.

If you’re tired of the relationship then tell her instead of coming here to lament.
Let her move home, just make sure you always send your own share of the upkeep, she should also find a job and contribute to raising her child.

Hope you people are not getting ready for baby number 2 like this?

dangerousdaddy:
Good evening people. Please don't mind my English. My post is actually out of pains and frustration and i may not type with the correct words.

I'm a 31 years old guy. I'm actually very bad with spending because when i have money, whoever asks from me gets. I am under alot of pressure lately especially from those around me. I am the 1st child of my parents and have so many responsibilities.

I got my girlfriend pregnant and she moved in with me. My parents were never there for me so i vowed i was going to be there for my kids. Hence i do all i can to make sure my daughter and her mum are OK.

The girl in question is a torn in my flesh. Totally different from when we were dating without a child. Nowadays, as soon as i get my salary, she wants to buy this, she wants to buy that even though she knows i receive less than a 100k and i have multiple loans i am paying back because we moved out of our old apartment due to space constraints especially after she delivered.

Whenever i don't have money, there is never a happy moment in my home. But if i come home and bring money, we become very good friends. She wants to live a good life which is not wrong but I feel when she knows how i am managing, she ought to understand and bear with me.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was, i was yet to be paid, i had 700 with me. I gave her to make some food because we had the basic food stuff in the house.... Rice, beans, ogbono, spaghetti, garri, Egusi.... Palm oil. So basically all she had to buy was fish or something to put inside the food.

I came home after a hard day at work and met an empty kitchen. When I asked for my food, she asked me what i expected her to cook with 700 naira. I got so mad and left the house but since it was late (it was close to midnight), i decided to come back. In my anger, i started asking her why she's treating me badly. And the next thing is, she called her mum to say I'm fighting with her and that i pushed her to the ground. Her mum replied and said that if anything happens to her daughter, she would hold me responsible. That she didn't give me a wife......

Now I feel i should just end everything and let's go our separate ways before it becomes a case of domestic violence. I never want to see my child grow up to see me fighting with her mum always and being unhappy. I believe a child that grows up in an unhappy home is always at a disadvantage. Please help me guys. I am in pains.

I hope this makes front page

welcome to the real world bro!! Married for 8 years and will tell you women and money is 5&6 so the more you can provide the happier she will be. However, just advise her to be patient till things get better

placeofallure:
I always try to imagine how somebody will be content staying at home, doing nothing, unproductive! It's always somehow, with which body will I take live day kain lifestyle?

You are part of your problem, I believe in due process, you didn't go it the normal way. What's baby mama when she can be a wife? Maybe it's that mentality that's causing her to misbehave. She wan chop anything she fit chop before she waka.
I see a wife helping her man to build a formidable dynasty, a financial fortress. Not disgusting babymamas! Some wives can be deal breakers too o!

@ dangerousdaddy, What's done is done. Maybe you missed those red flags while you both were without a baby. Your decision to be there for your daughter is good. The lady? She's cantankerous. It takes lotta restraint not to send such women to Igbobi wards.

A male colleague once told me he doesn't hide anything from his woman. As he collects his pay he surrenders everything to her. If she wants to spend it all in one day, it's left to her. They both suffer the consequences.

While I'm not advocating that you surrender your all to her, Let your "wife" know your financial standing. Let her know you have loans you're servicing. Let her know she can't have everything she desires especially as she's not contributing anything, educate her on needs and wants, then If after it all she's still unwise, please let her go. She's never gonna change. Whatever you have, ensure you send it for your baby's upkeep. She shouldn't suffer for the mess the adults are making. It's bad enough that she's not growing up in a normal home.

Next time dangerousdaddy, look before you leap.

..... Thanks alot..... I'm learning the very hard way