SirMichael1:


I don't need anyone to condemn my wife, the mother of my kids. I just need insight on how to get her to do it.

How to get her to do it?
Why don't you put a rope on her neck?
Can't you buy snacks?
You knew it would be your turn to host for a year and you were planning to use your glorified housemaid right?
I don't know why women rush to marry you people. What's your benefit?
Nonsense!

Saintmary:

How to get her to do it?
Why don't you put a rope on her neck?
Can't you buy snacks?
You knew it would be your turn to host for a year and you were planning to use your glorified housemaid right?
I don't know why women rush to marry you people. What's your benefit?
Nonsense!

Don't take your fustration out on me. If you spent few more seconds reading, maybe you'll come across the section that reads, "i'll help her make the swallow. She only has to make the soup even with the help of a helper"

Stop quoting me like your fingers are not attached to your brains. If you're from a broken home, do not allow it influence your thought pattern. Is making soup now difficult for a woman. You're the reason men don't see good women to marry anymore.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.

Please advice me and not insult me.

SirMichael1:
Please advice me and not insult me.

Michael, if I slap you, you go turn the other face give me make I slap extra.

When did you marry, tell me?

Enjoy your cruise.

Righteousness89:
All I Can Do Right now is to Pray For you!

Precious Daddy, I Pray thee, Touch the wife of My Brother to see the Need to Cooperate with Her Husband. Touch Her to Do it with Joy In Jesus Name.... Amen..



My Brother Calm down.. She will Do it...

The posts on the thread so far are even funnier.

Let me keep reading.

mariahAngel:
The things that I read on nairaland...

What is so hard about hosting your husband's guests?
She's just being stubborn and unreasonable.
To host, you don't even need to do everything yourself. Just get friends or relatives to help, while you divide the labour among yourselves and supervise....as long as there's enough free food to take home, they'll gladly help.

I have been laughing since.

Finally.

A wife has to be 'begged' to host 20 men in the church once in two years? Is it 'slavery' for a wife to host her husband's guests?

A husband willing to make the swallow and get someone to help?

The husband who knows the way the rotation works should tell his men group to shift it (because his wife would not cook)?

People are throwing protection and love around; what about love, submission, nurturing!?

If clearing the sink is the problem, she cannot cook, serve and tell husbandman he will clear the sink himself since they are his people in jest?

Hmmmmmm!

@OP:

Nice tradition your church has got.

Trolling or not, the comments are appalling.

mariahAngel:
The things that I read on nairaland...

What is so hard about hosting your husband's guests?
She's just being stubborn and unreasonable.
To host, you don't even need to do everything yourself. Just get friends or relatives to help, while you divide the labour among yourselves and supervise....as long as there's enough free food to take home, they'll gladly help.

As in eh, I don't understand! I will so do it with like two single ladies in church, give them enough takeaway and remain some in my freezer. #No cooking @ home for the next couple of days.

Maybe the woman is just tired.

bukatyne:
A wife has to be 'begged' to host 20 men in the church once in two years? Is it 'slavery' for a wife to host her husband's guests?

A husband willing to make the swallow and get someone to help?

The husband who knows the way the rotation works should tell his men group to shift it (because his wife would not cook)?

People are throwing protection and love around; what about love, submission, nurturing!?

If clearing the sink is the problem, she cannot cook, serve and tell husbandman he will clear the sink himself since they are his people in jest?

Hmmmmmm!

@OP:

Nice tradition your church has got.

Trolling or not, the comments are appalling.

Trust me, i wished i was trolling but i'm not.

Really i have never brought my marital issues to nairaland and frankly, this has got to be the first and last time i will. This is just the second time we'll be hosting them and the last time they came, they complimented her cooking skills. Not to forget, i did the pounding of yams for over 20 persons the last time, so she only made the soup. I don't know why people will term cooking of soup a housemaid thing. I'm just peturbed over how many reason here.

Must they come home before you can host them... You can actually host them in church and get them snacks and drinks and if it is a must for them to come to your home,it is better you get a caterer to solve this problem.

From your narrative your wife's mind is made up...I believe you can still find a caterer that will charge you between 8-10k .

I am sure she didn't like her last experience...she just did it to please you but this time around you also have to please her.

Understanding in marriage solves a lots of problem

SirMichael1:
trust me, If it was up to me to cancel or postpone, i would. If i had been informed that my wife would not want to do it, i'd have rightly interjected that sunday when it was announced and have mine shifted.

It is up to you decline to host in your house this time around. Like I said before, Heavens will not fall if you decline. It's clear to me that what is primarily holding you back from declining is a bid to "save face" in front of your Church members, ergo, ego! Why do you care about what other people think of you even to the extent of prioritizing this over your wife's feelings/happiness? This is a trivial matter. Swallow your pride and move on! Do not let your pride put a wedge between you and your wife. She is already obviously not happy about something. You need to fix that first and forget about what people are saying

SirMichael1:
Trust me, i wished i was trolling but i'm not.

Really i have never brought my marital issues to nairaland and frankly, this has got to be the first and last time i will. This is just the second time we'll be hosting them and the last time they came, they complimented her cooking skills. Not to forget, i did the pounding of yams for over 20 persons the last time, so she only made the soup. I don't know why people will term cooking of soup a housemaid thing. I'm just peturbed over how many reason here.

.


Get snacks and drinks ... Safest option for now... Time is short. Or is it a must the meeting menu must be swallow

Those people commenting are sounding a bit anti church.
There's great benefit in believers meeting and breaking bread together. Op no problem with that, continue with your meetings, just make your wife understand the importance and take decisions together

Tadeknkeepcalm:

Better shut up with your woke ideology.

Face your Canada, we will face our Nigeria.
What about the sacrifices he must have made as the husband of the family? Is he here complaining to anybody? A one time thing has become problem. The man is trying to work out solutions but you are here insinuating divorce since that's what your useless feminazi pages teach you.
I hope it's not too late before you realize the false ideology you have submitted yourself too.

First reasonable thing on this thread. All the females commenting are unmarried. No need to answer them. Time go reset all their brains.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

It's quite stressful cooking especially for crowd

Shopping for the food items is a bigger stress

Beg her to pick someone to shop with her and do the cooking

But my question is,why the cooking, is the economy friendly with you guys in this hard times

You guys should start providing the food by paying a caterer to do the cooking and supply to the house who is hosting the meeting

By the time you guys can't afford it again, the cooking will come to an end

Is it even necessary, or you guys just like partying under the canopy of church ?

frozen70:


It's quite stressful cooking especially for crowd

Shopping for the food items is a bigger stress

Beg her to pick someone to shop with her and do the cooking

But my question is,why the cooking, is the economy friendly with you guys in this hard times

You guys should start providing the food by paying a caterer to do the cooking and supply to the house who is hosting the meeting

By the time you guys can't afford it again, the cooking will come to an end

Is it even necessary, or you guys just like partying under the canopy of church ?

It's not partying. We start with praise and worship. We don't use any sound producing device.

SirMichael1:
Don't take your fustration out on me. If you spent few more seconds reading, maybe you'll come across the section that reads, "i'll help her make the swallow. She only has to make the soup even with the help of a helper"

Stop quoting me like your fingers are not attached to your brains. If you're from a broken home, do not allow it influence your thought pattern. Is making soup now difficult for a woman. You're the reason men don't see good women to marry anymore.

Your good women are slaves, born to cook and satisfy your whims,
Arrrrgh, I've got stuffs to concentrate on tonight so lemme save my energy for later.
If you were half as smart as you think you are, you would have bought pie and Bigi for them at 8000 and still cut your costs.
Set awon "use them hubbies".
Your type of husbands squeeze the very life out of your wives till they start looking like your mummies before 40.
Mtcheew.

SirMichael1:


She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

Lalasticlala, seun

Really, you tried. Some women want to always do things at their comfort. To go out of their comfort has become a big deal. Tales of 21st century ladies.

CanadianNaija:


It is not my fault that you’re frustrated, and your life is not worth living.
Take the easy way out and end it, Nigeria is overpopulated you won’t be missed.

You are a very wretched animal in human skin , I wonder how you got to live amongst people. An idiot advising OP , certainly you've got maggots in your head instead of a brain

Saintmary:

Your good women are slaves, born to cook and satisfy your whims,
Arrrrgh, I've got stuffs to concentrate on tonight so lemme save my energy for later.
If you were half as smart as you think you are, you would have bought pie and Bigi for them at 8000 and still cut your costs.
Set awon "use them hubbies".
Your type of husbands squeeze the very life out of your wives till they start looking like your mummies before 40.
Mtcheew.

So, hosting your husband's guests is the new term for slavery? Wonders shall never cease

I read every comment on this thread and I am very disappointed with how most women reason.Sorry Mr Op but ur wife is being inconsiderate and unreasonable not to assist in the cooking since you are willing to participate actively In the process.To even make it more irritating she is preventing you from inviting help from your church members who will assist.haba for something that will be done just once in a year.

Some posters are even suggesting you cancel or shift the meeting just to please your wife and be termed peace loving and family focused husband.Mr Op that will be the most stupid thing to do

That why am even scared of getting married because I can't take one quarter of all this bullshit I will just divorce you the next day.Imagine ordinary to cook fa with helping hands com turn issue the thing dey even vex me a swear especially those feminist posters above that are just running their mouth without even considering the ops condition.seriously if this is how girls nowadays reason and think marriage no be by force o

I remember growing up, my dad host this kind of meeting and my mom do the cooking with some of her friends and sometimes wives of Some of the members.My dad dont even know the location of kitchen talkless of helping in cooking( i think he considered it taboo)She never saw it as an issue intact we will be happy at home because there will be surplus food and drink at home

My advise is still talk to her and make her understand her duty for the cooking.You(op) will be responsible for buying the food stuff or you can do it together,you make the swallow,she makes the soup,and after the guest departure you two do the cleanup together and with the invitation of helping hands it will be easier for everyone.

If she still refuses you can now employ the service of caterers if you can afford it and if you can't u can explore other options like buying soft drinks and snacks.But you should make it clear to her that that you are not happy with her you too can revenge by declining some helps you render her or sacrifices you make for her so she will know how it pains.DONT just let it go make sure you express your displeasure by actions or at least words or both

NEVER you postpone the meeting to please her or due to lack of options or lack of adequate plan.if she refuses make sure you feed your guest in your house with at least snacks and .soft drinks or better by caterers,this will make you the winner and she will be ashame of her sef

SirMichael1:
Please advice me and not insult me.

Ignore the insults. You did absolutely nothing wrong to ask your wife for her support.

Saintmary:

Your good women are slaves, born to cook and satisfy your whims,
Arrrrgh, I've got stuffs to concentrate on tonight so lemme save my energy for later.
If you were half as smart as you think you are, you would have bought pie and Bigi for them at 8000 and still cut your costs.
Set awon "use them hubbies".
Your type of husbands squeeze the very life out of your wives till they start looking like your mummies before 40.
Mtcheew.

Girls like you are the ones who make guys think a feministic approach to issues isn't worth it.

You keep giving us bad names and all that. Clearly, you're not married. I can't count the times my husband has had to go out of his way to make sure i'm comfortable. You don't know that in marriage, it's a give and take situation? This get together holds once in every two years, not like she'll cook for the guest everyday. Just once and it's just soup.

Should you get married with this idea, you'll crash out before you say jack.

Op are your kids grown up or they're still small?

Your kids, especially your daughter can assist you with the cooking stuffs if she's grown up.
If they aren't,oh well.....

But your wife is a bit inconsiderate na.
Shebi it's just once in almost 2 years.
Try to let her reason with you,you can discuss it inside bedroom.

Walk:
Girls like you are the ones who make guys think a feministic approach to issues isn't worth it.

You keep giving us bad names and all that. Clearly, you're not married. I can't count the times my husband has had to go out of his way to make sure i'm comfortable. You don't know that in marriage, it's a give and take situation? This get together holds once in every two years, not like she'll cook for the guest everyday. Just once and it's just soup.

Should you get married with this idea, you'll crash out before you say jack.

SirMichael1:
Truth is, I've since considered this but the thought that my wife will sit while watching my friends and I do the cooking (I don't know how to make the soup. She's good at that) doesn't sit well. If she'd just agree, I don't mind getting more people to assist.

Your wife does not respect you.

SirMichael1:


Amen brother. I'm just tired.

Oga,

Stop salaye.

Have a discussion with her to understand her concerns and address it. If she still refuses, pay the caterer and move on.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Pounding yam for 18-25 people? You are evil....you want to kill that woman. Go and get snacks or buy food from eatery for them

SirMichael1:
Truth is, I've since considered this but the thought that my wife will sit while watching my friends and I do the cooking (I don't know how to make the soup. She's good at that) doesn't sit well. If she'd just agree, I don't mind getting more people to assist.

If she isn't co-operating, please don't aggravate her by bringing people to do it. Just let her know you are getting a caterer to make things easy. That way, it is a win win situation.

I still feel the issue is stemming from the last time you hosted.

GboyegaD:


Oga,

Stop salaye.

Have a discussion with her to understand her concerns and address it. If she still refuses, pay the caterer and move on.

This is just so sad.

Would you say these if the reverse were the case? If a wife needed her husband's help on something he can easily render, and he refused and she comes here to complain, would you give her the same reply?
What happened to our African values in respect to marriage?

SmileDance:
Life will be much better when people start thinking with their brains and not their religion.
Na church matter wan break person home now so o

I swer,this wan weak me oo...

religion has curse harm more than good to some homes