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My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Tatashi: 4:54pm On Sep 03, 2020
Wife not slave

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Tatashi: 4:56pm On Sep 03, 2020
SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.
This comment took me out hahahahahaha

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 4:56pm On Sep 03, 2020
Mr. Man. Use the caterer.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Lucky667(m): 4:56pm On Sep 03, 2020
Okay
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Sterope(f): 4:57pm On Sep 03, 2020
.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Graciousnaija: 4:57pm On Sep 03, 2020
The peace in your marriage is far more important than what those coming will say.

I will counsel you discuss with your pastor and ask that you are not ready to host and that you should be slated for another time.

There's no shame in postponing your family hosting the group.

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Segzy19: 4:57pm On Sep 03, 2020
Let the wives of the other men in your group come together to do the cooking nau. Let this be the way, going forward instead of putting pressure on one person or family

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Euegene100001: 4:57pm On Sep 03, 2020
grin
SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by drunkpunk(m): 4:58pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:


The previous get togethers I went to, their wife did the cooking. It's just making of soup while I make the swallow.

OP, hit me up. I have a caterer who'd be considerate. I'm sure both of you would be able to work something out

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 4:58pm On Sep 03, 2020
Tadeknkeepcalm:

Better shut up with your woke ideology.

Face your Canada, we will face our Nigeria.
What about the sacrifices he must have made as the husband of the family? Is he here complaining to anybody? A one time thing has become problem. The man is trying to work out solutions but you are here insinuating divorce since that's what your useless feminazi pages teach you.
I hope it's not too late before you realize the false ideology you have submitted yourself too.


I was about saying the same to the "Mr Canadian" grin

Some people will manage to go overseas for higher education or work, maybe courtesy of their family's contribution in Africa; and the moment they spend few months/years over there, they start doing "waka" over the good norms and practices in Africa, claiming better exposure.

While I agree that Oyinbos beat Africans in the area of science and technology, I would always maintain my stand that Africans beat Oyinbos hands down, in the area of family structure and organization, so I agree with you that Ogbeni CanadianNaija needs to shut up keep quiet on this.

Back to the topic, everything about Food Department at home starts and ends with the wife. All that is required by the husband is to simply provide the money, irrespective of the number of people to be served. Any African Lady that is not comfortable with that structure should await the Oyinbo man that would ask for her hand in marriage or google up the likes of CanadianNaija through dating sites.

Something that should excite OP's wife, so much she would call up her friends to come assist her display her cooking skills in such a way that would make her husband stand out (proud) among his friends; turned into a contentious matter. Shakes head. I guess the woman belongs to the clique of feminists who are not excited about kitchen matters because they set out to go compete with gullible men that married them in the first place. undecided

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Wingarnium: 4:59pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.
if she says she can't , don't try to force her cos it can lead to something else. U just have to understand her
She was 5 months pregnant and I asked her to cook for 20 people. That's insensitive to me. Nobody likes work now. Me myself cooking is a chore to me, I do it because I have to not because I enjoy. Reason with her pls she's not being wicked or something she's just tired and needs to rest. She knows if she does it this year, next time u will ask her to do it again. U can lovingly ask her to borrow you the 20k and make sure u give her back. It's not easy na. She's already managing a home that's enough stress. That is why there are ppl u can pay to do it.vlife is easier now.

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Sterope(f): 4:59pm On Sep 03, 2020
Get a cook. One cook should be able to handle 20 guests.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by fanzine(f): 4:59pm On Sep 03, 2020
She needs helping hands . Cooking for such number of people is not easy.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by enigmang: 4:59pm On Sep 03, 2020
STOP TRYING SOO HARD TO PLEASE PEOPLE.

Tell your church brethren that things are hard at the moment .. they should contribute for caterer.
Besides cooking is not just for women...If you knew how to cook no be to wear apron arrange the food. That is if you must cook.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 5:00pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Find that money and hire a caterer, dumbass. Or tell your friends you can't host them, let them go to another mugu's house instead
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by edoairways: 5:00pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:
I told her that I would assist her. I even asked to bring her a female church member to assist but she refused.
Is she working?
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by ladyGKilaBCrueD(f): 5:01pm On Sep 03, 2020
you think it's easy to cook for 25 people, why dont you hire a caterer?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by cococandy(f): 5:01pm On Sep 03, 2020
I believe your wife is bothered by something else related to that gathering than just the cooking aspect. I’m not saying the cooking is easy.
But if you offered to help and also get someone else to help out too and she’s still refusing, then it’s not really all about the cooking.

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by cooltola(m): 5:01pm On Sep 03, 2020
Her reasons: she is not cooking for a specific occasion because it stressed out her so much the last time. If your wife is not cooking for your guests and she has made up her mind. Then there is nothing you can do, just bare with her and hire a food caterer. If it is too expensive, then just get small chop for the guys and drinks, the men will understand. For next time, plan ahead so you will not hear story from your Madam. Since you are Christ believer, I will share this verse Ephesian 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Mediate this verse whenever you are angry with your wife

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Wingarnium: 5:01pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:


She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

Lalasticlala, seun
she recieved the complaint. Ha. For your own 25 guests. 20k is not too much to me. Abeg try and negotiate. Nobody come life come slave away

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Dominiqueismad: 5:02pm On Sep 03, 2020
UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.
real mumu, your wife is the husband. You are ruined because of obo.
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by goshen26: 5:02pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.



Is it a must to cook?


If it's not a must then keep silent on the matter, and when the day approaches get a caterer to do rich snacks and top with malt.

Don't discuss the cooking with her again. With that she will feel uncomfortable



But if the tradition is cooking; then discuss with and pet her, if not God will bless u, go for caterer to supply the food



Your home is important
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 5:03pm On Sep 03, 2020
Wow, I just fell in love with your wife for saying that.
Una go arrange family sunday sunday medicine without involving your wives and now you guys want to impose unnecessary stress on them.

Mek you cook am yourself or pay caterer 20k to prepare the dishes since una no wan get sense.

From the way your wife sounds, I'm sorry to say that she get sense pass you and fit be thinking of how your family can move foward while you dey mumu around with married men nonsense group.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by annyberry: 5:03pm On Sep 03, 2020
It is actually d job of ur wife to do d cooking, aside d church issue on top,our parents do hold village meeting wen it falls on ur dad ur mum would definitely do d cooking......but nevertheless u can switch instead of cooking u jus make salad and fried chicken or turkey with soft drinks......after all u are planning on cutting down expenses.......

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by soleexx(m): 5:03pm On Sep 03, 2020
My advice if you gonna like it bro

Get this professional cooker Yoruba called olopo.. She can't demand less Dan 5grand

Let her do the cooking alone
Your wife will serve and you assist her washing the plates

But make sure the lady arrive early so she can cook the food before your church member arrives...

She gonna cook and dish it in the cooler..

You wife and you should be able to handle the rest

Pls Embrace your wife, she's your partner!

And try and get her a gift soon after the visit

God Bless

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by sammirano: 5:03pm On Sep 03, 2020
CanadianNaija:


Abeg she’s right to refuse. You’re just inconsiderate.
Did you plan to invite people with her or you just invited them and informed her as the cook you have at home?

You think she doesn’t have a life because she’s married to you? You like to play host but you don’t have money.

Just go and hire a caterer and stop stressing the woman abeg!

It is your type of simps men that are causing problems for the reeal men.

Op. You need to exercise control if you havent been doing that. We all understand the stress yen yen yen.

But under no circustance shoukd a woman make a stance and not ready to hear alternate suggestions. That's rude and unacceptable.

I won't tell you how to run your home, but you need to up your game.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by cococandy(f): 5:04pm On Sep 03, 2020
@bold, exactly.

It has more to it than just the cooking
Liftmaster:


No offense taken. It's not an issue of inconvenience but the issue here is the husbands lack of discernment. Regardless of whatever the reason for declining is, the wife has a right to do so. Her declining may be being inconsiderate but she has a right to it. I marvel at those on here that think that because a husband asks his wife to do something, she must always say yes. A wife has rights too. I hate to say this, but wisdom does seem to be in short supply In some of the antagonistic responses.
One further point. You said "Don't we all host people from time to time? We are a people and I think we have some communal sense, why act as though it is strange?" Why do you speak like we are all together in his marriage? Everybody is different. We may have certain customs as a people but it doesn't mean everyone agrees with these customs and willingly participates. Every individual has rights. She has spoken her mind and we as a people need to learn to respect other people's rights and opinions.

The wife was glad to do the hosting when she was 5 months pregnant. I personally think that was inconsiderate of the husband to ask her to do so, but regardless, she gladly oblidged. This time around she said no and is vehement in her refusal. There is something going on here. A sufficiently wise husband should discern something from this. Regardless of what path he takes, the issue will,still remain. He will be wise pick his battles, drop the issue and move on. At a later time when tempers have cooled, he can come back and try to figure out what exactly the issue is.

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by ahiboilandgas: 5:04pm On Sep 03, 2020
SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.
una too like problem for Africa..is she your maid ? why create unessarry problem for her when u cant afford it ....during Fasting i alway organise meal for my friend's and during this time i employ professional cook to do the work and my wife just supervise .....

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Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by snoopz: 5:05pm On Sep 03, 2020
my bro in the Lord get a cook simple
Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Nobody: 5:05pm On Sep 03, 2020
CanadianNaija:


Oga, if you want to play host then pay for it.

Leave your wife alone if she doesn’t want that stress.
Hosting doesn’t just involve cooking, there’s the serving, market run, cleaning.

I don’t blame her for refusing especially since it’s not something that she wants to do or is interested in.

Don’t inconvenience her just because she is married to you, pay a caterer or explain to your people what you can provide. Maybe if this starts hurting your pocket you will rethink the need for the elaborate feeding you people carry out in the name of coming together to solve problem.
Did she not signed up to you two joining the married couples in the church. Was she not there when decision were made about this food thing. Has she not been going with you to other members meeting and eating their food. Why is she now becoming difficult ? What did she want you to do now ? get a maid or caterer ? She's trying to introduce crack in her marriage. You go ahead and finance a caterer to do this for you instead of putting you in embarrasement. Will the marriage be the same if she refused to be involved eventually ?. Sometimes we should not be depending too much on this so called wives, otherwise they can take their decision without considering you their partner. The secret of overcoming this kind of woman is for you to work hard and pray to God to give you plenty of money.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Won't Cook For Our Guests. Please Advise Me by Sterope(f): 5:05pm On Sep 03, 2020
I hope she is the type of person that would remember she had a prior appointment or sleep sef. He should also be ready to go through hell for it.

lilyheaven:

You have begged her already, just tell her you want to invite your sister or sister in-law,
Believe me, once they arrive and start the cooking she will come out because she won’t like them to scatter her things, besides they will always come around to ask her were to get salt or extra pepper, I know she will answer them.

She might even end up cooking the food herself.

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