₦airaland Forum

Liftmaster:
Yes, but know that she will not be happy with this approach. You may have won the battle, but would have started a longer term war. Successful marriages take lots of give and take. Why must he win this particular issue? Especially at the expense of peace in the family? If he backs down and tells his wife that he will ask for a cancellation, she may reconsider. If she doesn't, at least she will appreciate the fact that her husband has consideration for her feelings and is looking out for her. The meeting is once in 20 months, he has to live with his wife everyday.

YOU ARE A WEAK MAN. You are really scared of your wife. War in the house u pay, wife u legally married, please grow some balls. Stand your ground and threaten her with whatever you have to....what nonsense..ordinary soup is wahala..your wife knows you are a weakling that's why hes playing you like ball.

soleexx:
My advice if you gonna like it bro

Get this professional cooker Yoruba called olopo.. She can't demand less Dan 5grand

Let her do the cooking alone
Your wife will serve and you assist her washing the plates

But make sure the lady arrive early so she can cook the food before your church member arrives...

She gonna cook and dish it in the cooler..

You wife and you should be able to handle the rest

Pls Embrace your wife, she's your partner!

And try and get her a gift soon after the visit

God Bless

Embrace ko embracement ni. Going by the bible, It said wife submit to your husband. Does your partner submit to you. You only submit to your lord. I don't just understand the type of men around now. Unbelievable.

Get that your somebody from the church. Let her do everything if she has to, you do your part and host em. She should be the one bringing her friends to cook but as she's stressed at this time, get all the outside help you can.....u for marry party person like you.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Op, you can negotiate with another caterer to come make only the soups at a lower cost. Do the market runs and get a family member or friend to help out, while you make the swallow yourself. Don't postpone the meeting, and also don't give people the impression that all is not well between you and your wife. Later, after the meeting you settle the issue amicably with her. It is well! Marriage comes with different challenges. Shalom!

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.

Thats rude and harsh

Did you seek our advice before marrying her?

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Abraham saw 3men who happened to be angels. without warning he ordered Sarah to make haste and cook. probably she was busy, tired, sleeping or even sick but she got up and did as as her husband asked.

so me no con understand. in my nicest voice and with due respect na wife you get wey no fit cook for your guests?
my brother go into prayers something is stealing her

Just buy Biscuit or Meat pie and bottled drink or can drink.

Everyone will be OK, and it will cost you less than 10k overall.

mariahAngel:
The things that I read on nairaland...

What is so hard about hosting your husband's guests?
She's just being stubborn and unreasonable.
To host, you don't even need to do everything yourself. Just get friends or relatives to help, while you divide the labour among yourselves and supervise....as long as there's enough free food to take home, they'll gladly help.

Abi woh...over here, you just need to need like five women and pay 1k each and they will cook the food, and even help you do the dishes next day and help clean ur house for you. Of course you go feed them for the day Sha

must you invite guests

Nonsense altogether...
Leave the woman jare, she has the right to cook or not.
Tell your church group, no food!

SirMichael1:
She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

Lalasticlala, seun

guy, you dey do hotel business? cuz I no understand, and i no border to read this ur long episode.

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

You seem so bitter. Damn! One of my prayers is that God should keep me far away from people like you. SMH!

I'm a man, I live in western world and can cook for 20 people without stress...I cook for my friends, family, birthday stuff etc...please Nairalanders what's the big deal about cooking that some people turn it to a big deal? You no live single life for lagos before? This is the type of wife that will say they cannot even cook for any husband family.....intact I enjoy cooking when am free and invite friends to come over..what's the point of marrying someone you cannot go to extra length for.....some men don suffer ooo. .thank God for my mother. Cooking, na my wife sef go run...mr man grow some balls.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
Better shut up with your woke ideology.

Face your Canada, we will face our Nigeria.
What about the sacrifices he must have made as the husband of the family? Is he here complaining to anybody? A one time thing has become problem. The man is trying to work out solutions but you are here insinuating divorce since that's what your useless feminazi pages teach you.
I hope it's not too late before you realize the false ideology you have submitted yourself too.

You are the only one with a sensible post here

what is bad in she making just a one day sacrifice for a man whom she claims to love? is everything all about taking? the woman just has pride and that is all I see. it is an even that happens once in 1year and 6 months,wetin dey dhr to support ur husband. shmm

Just-25?.....yourwifehatescooking...period!

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Bros to avoid wahala, look for money and pay the caterer. That is the only option you have.

CanadianNaija:
Abeg she’s right to refuse. You’re just inconsiderate.
Did you plan to invite people with her or you just invited them and informed her as the cook you have at home?

You think she doesn’t have a life because she’s married to you? You like to play host but you don’t have money.

Just go and hire a caterer and stop stressing the woman abeg!

What are u saying? This is occasional not always, can't a wife cook for her husband guess again.

Oga na akagum u b so u never get the message
Give her the money to go to the market and tip her on top. And that kind meeting na just wast of money wuna de do!! Y can u gays b doing it in a particular location like a joint we’re u partronize the people their. Most u stress your wife to hell. Call her in the night and brain wash her with praises in a calm voice she go gree. Don’t talk as if is her duty. Come to Europe and c the wives no de even cook for house naso so so buy buy. Appreciate her for the food u have been eaten first!! It is not her duty to cook for 20 people! U wicked ooo na beg u go beg her no b right!!!

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

This mentality of cooking for group of people all bcoz u want to plz dem dosen't make sense to me, just buy drinks & snacks finish. Let madam be so dat peace will reign biko

Ok

Did you read that message at all? ��

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

I think you should try and get a caterer...

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

This mentality of cooking for a group of people all bcoz u want to plz dem dosen't make sense to me, just buy drinks & snacks finish. Let madam be so dat peace will reign biko

You have rendered some positive support, I know it is not easy to cook for 20 men but your wife should be a supportive one.
I would advise u get the food cooked by caterer, prevent your wife from rendering any help in the gathering n see what her next action 'll be.
Don't let this cause disunity, let it be a point u save for a future reference ..

What is happening to our men? God help us. Op you better man up and assume your position as the man of the house. What rubbish. If she doesnt want to do the cooking, go get a hot side chick to do the cooking for you and the let the heavens fall. You've got balls for a reason, start making use of it.

Righteousness89:
All I Can Do Right now is to Pray For you!

Precious Daddy, I Pray thee, Touch the wife of My Brother to see the Need to Cooperate with Her Husband. Touch Her to Do it with Joy In Jesus Name.... Amen..

My Brother Calm down.. She will Do it...




Reading through the Comments, It's clear that People Have Lost what Marriage is all about!

Marriage is Cooperation
Marriage is Sacrifice
Marriage is Watching out for each other

It's sounds strange to me that a woman is not willing to Cooperate with her Husband and People are Supporting that!

Seriously! This Generation has lost it

The comments on here are really shocking to behold.

CanadianNaija:
Oga, if you want to play host then pay for it.

Leave your wife alone if she doesn’t want that stress.
Hosting doesn’t just involve cooking, there’s the serving, market run, cleaning.

I don’t blame her for refusing especially since it’s not something that she wants to do or is interested in. I hope the trend stops soon

Don’t inconvenience her just because she is married to you, pay a caterer or explain to your people what you can provide. Maybe if this starts hurting your pocket you will rethink the need for the elaborate feeding you people carry out in the name of coming together to solve problem.

Why do Nigerians cal themselves "Oga" - sounds quite confrontational/primitive

all those of u saying leave the wife alone obviously are either children, or not married.

when u married u will know what it means to get a no, its a yrly thing to them every month different places so the man has gone to different houses eaten she definitely knows about all that now its her turn and shes saying crap she did it when preg little energy while not now wen not pregnant.

that wife of urs is testing u, and if u get caterer guy u don loose because more of that nonsense will happen.

u should tell her this


you are cooking that food, like it or not
if u need help get one of ur friends
dont u ever undermine me ever again, u don finally born no be gate way to foolishness

mariahAngel:
The things that I read on nairaland...

What is so hard about hosting your husband's guests?
She's just being stubborn and unreasonable.
To host, you don't even need to do everything yourself. Just get friends or relatives to help, while you divide the labour among yourselves and supervise....as long as there's enough free food to take home, they'll gladly help.

Thank you. I'm really surprised. The man has accepted to get helping hands. Yet she refused. She's simply being stubborn. That's it. I'm really offended with this kind behaviours.

SirMichael1 , see what you will do. Getting like two or three women from your church. Let them come and help you do the cooking. Allow your wife, let her be by the side and be watching you guys.

Don't force her.

Here is the solution funny but it will work

Go to any fast food, get her her favorite ice cream, fried rice and chicken.

Don't even bring up that issue, just let her be happy.

Later at night, make love to her like never before.

Make sure she is very satisfied.

Tell her sweet things, and then tell her softly that 2 caterers told you to pay 40k and another said 35k.

And you are thinking of going for the one of 35k, but you considered the fact that you don't even have the money and even if you do, that money can do a whole lot at home.

Just beg her to reconsider, and possible you would give her 5k to make her hair.

Kiss her on her forehead and tell her you love her so much.

Case closed.....
SirMichael1