₦airaland Forum

Righteousness89:
All I Can Do Right now is to Pray For you!

Precious Daddy, I Pray thee, Touch the wife of My Brother to see the Need to Cooperate with Her Husband. Touch Her to Do it with Joy In Jesus Name....
Amen

Amen

Which kind of self inflicted suffering is this?? Please wise up and what you can bear.

@Op please if you can take down this post, I Just feel some person will want to brake your marriage here.

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

When did this one escape from rehabilitation center

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. . When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

The bolded is my own concern last Sunday - this Sunday I believe you are talking about a 7 day notice.

So you got home on sunday and told your wife that next week Sunday ooo we are hosting 20people ? I think the time frame is too short, she most likely had other plans for Sunday


To prevent further occurrence you people should have a ready made roaster, everyone should be aware of the dates they are hosting so they can make plans appropriately, its your wife today it might be the wife of another tomorrow. But when the dates are obvious everyone would start preparing towards that.

Did they even consider if you are currently capable to host 20people within that short notice? Foodstuff don cost ooo.

Hosting is much more than cooking, serving , cleanup etc etc it can be draining mentally for some.

Try and get the caterer to sort it out if the meeting must hold on Sunday, whatever you do please do not create an impression that all isn't well with you and wifey.

Or at most you can get snacks and drinks shikena.

I understand that the cooking might be stressful for her, but it's once in a while and you've offered to get someone to assist her.

I think she's being unsupportive of her husband.

It's things like this that matter. Anyone can say "I love you, I love you"

But to show it, that's where the problem lies.

If I were in your shoes, I'd find a way to tell your group members that you won't be able to host them this year cos of a pressing financial issue in your extended family. And that someone else should take it this year while you do the next one.


At least now you know where your wife stands.


She'd be needing your assistance soon enough... then you can show her exactly how it feels like to have an unsupportive spouse.

tabithababy:
The Kick your wife out Nairaland crew will soon be here

People are fond of that on most social media, even if na girlfriend dey go dey give advice like people wey necer enter relationship before; Marriage advice na worst.

I understand what you're going through. Its not an easy task i must say but you two can do this together na no need getting a caterer. Go shopping together, assist her in cooking the soup e.g like chopping the Veggies, washing meat etc, then u make the semo and she wraps it. You guys can serve your guests together and do the dishes together. Just see it as a time for you two to bond together. I dont see any issue here ohhh. Be positive. Be blessed.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Saintmary:
How to get her to do it?
Why don't you put a rope on her neck?
Can't you buy snacks?
You knew it would be your turn to host for a year and you were planning to use your glorified housemaid right?
I don't know why women rush to marry you people. What's your benefit?
Nonsense!

"Don't take your fustration out on me. If you spent few more seconds reading, maybe you'll come across the section that reads, "i'll help her make the swallow. She only has to make the soup even with the help of a helper"

Stop quoting me like your fingers are not attached to your
brains. If you're from a broken home, do not allow it
influence your thought pattern. Is making soup now difficult
for a woman. You're the reason men don't see good women
to marry anymore."

Yeah, I had to repaste SirMichael1's words for you to see again. Y'all have messed up your thought patterns just because you want to satisfy your feministic ideologies. Shame on you women of this age and the dumb men who subscribe to what you preach. I spit on your brains.

SmileDance:
I will give an advise when you answer my questions
1. Who will serve the 18-25 men after she cooks for them?
2. Who will pack the plates after the 18-23 men have finished eating?
3. Who will wash the dishes and clean the house after the 18-25 men have left?
Are you sure some of the 18-25 men will not eventually feel entitled to having your wife cook for them later on?
4. Are you sure you are not bringing see finish into your house laidis

If na me them wan force make she cook laidis if the men no chop rat poison na small e go remain. I'm just saying my own

Watch what you say publicly,its unlike woman of you

I don't even understand women these days. It's now making so much sense to me when my great grandma advised me to never marry only one woman.

Allow men to marry more than one. NO! Now do your part as the woman in the family. Still No!

OP, if I were you, I will borrow money to hire a caterer just to cover this big shame your wife is about to put you. However, I will teach her by examples in her own coin.

WTF! A man can't give a simple command to his wife these days anymore.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
Did she adress the issue with this your same tone. One must also learn when to take a stand and not be a doormat.

What stand? Beating her up to do it.since is a strength game,the stronger wins.warp brain

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.

Why the insult if you dont have anything reasonable to say keep shut............. frustration is a bad thing. I pity you

Get a caterer and stop turning your wives into slaves, bunch of broke ass niggas.

listen bro your wife will happily cook for your friends if you are a rich man. but here you are struggling to even buy yam and you think an angry woman is going to cook for your boys ? its the life of women, they are luna beings, money oils the machine in their brain and they will cook for 200 of your friends if you are dangote

stop getting married and having children if you are not financially stable

sammirano:
Embrace ko embracement ni. Going by the bible, It said wife submit to your husband. Does your partner submit to you. You only submit to your lord. I don't just understand the type of men around now. Unbelievable.

Its okay bro...
Its not big deal
You can as well break her head because she refused cooking for 20+ people

It's not even that she doesn't cook for her family. Look for a caterer already. There is limit to the way women build their homes. There's still time o, go to YouTube and learn how to make soups, start practicing at home

SirMichael1:
It's a monthly get together ran every other month. Different men (about 20) host the get together. That is, the next time it will be my turn, the remaining 19 other men must have hosted it and that will be in the next 1year and 8months.

are u a member in a Baptist Church?.

because my dad used to have this type of get together when we were young.my mum and we the children do the cooking,serving,washing of plates.i must confess that it is a tedious job but ur wife should always do it joyfully.what happened to undergoing sacrifices for bur spouse.like someone advised,talk to her solemnly.

Meenabee:
I understand what you're going through. Its not an easy task i must say but you two can do this together na no need getting a caterer. Go shopping together, assist her in cooking the soup e.g like chopping the Veggies, washing meat etc, then u make the semo and she wraps it. You guys can serve your guests together and do the dishes together. Just see it as a time for you two to bond together. I dont see any issue here ohhh. Be positive. Be blessed.

I respect you based on this comment. Bravo.

Gavorche:
I read every comment on this thread and I am very disappointed with how most women reason.Sorry Mr Op but ur wife is being inconsiderate and unreasonable not to assist in the cooking since you are willing to participate actively In the process.To even make it more irritating she is preventing you from inviting help from your church members who will assist.haba for something that will be done just once in a year.

Some posters are even suggesting you cancel or shift the meeting just to please your wife and be termed peace loving and family focused husband.Mr Op that will be the most stupid thing to do

That why am even scared of getting married because I can't take one quarter of all this bullshit I will just divorce you the next day.Imagine ordinary to cook fa with helping hands com turn issue the thing dey even vex me a swear especially those feminist posters above that are just running their mouth without even considering the ops condition.seriously if this is how girls nowadays reason and think marriage no be by force o

I remember growing up, my dad host this kind of meeting and my mom do the cooking with some of her friends and sometimes wives of Some of the members.My dad dont even know the location of kitchen talkless of helping in cooking( i think he considered it taboo)She never saw it as an issue intact we will be happy at home because there will be surplus food and drink at home

My advise is still talk to her and make her understand her duty for the cooking.You(op) will be responsible for buying the food stuff or you can do it together,you make the swallow,she makes the soup,and after the guest departure you two do the cleanup together and with the invitation of helping hands it will be easier for everyone.

If she still refuses you can now employ the service of caterers if you can afford it and if you can't u can explore other options like buying soft drinks and snacks.But you should make it clear to her that that you are not happy with her you too can revenge by declining some helps you render her or sacrifices you make for her so she will know how it pains.DONT just let it go make sure you express your displeasure by actions or at least words or both

NEVER you postpone the meeting to please her or due to lack of options or lack of adequate plan.if she refuses make sure you feed your guest in your house with at least snacks and .soft drinks or better by caterers,this will make you the winner and she will be ashame of her sef

I wish l can shake you from here. The things l read here even put fears in me about marriage. The OP has offered different option but the wife isn't coming up with any.

I wish he can afford caterer and let the issue die

NoToPile:
The bolded is my own concern last Sunday - this Sunday I believe you are talking about a 7 day notice.

So you got home on sunday and told your wife that next week Sunday ooo we are hosting 20people ? I think the time frame is too short, she most likely had other plans for Sunday


To prevent further occurrence you people should have a ready made roaster, everyone should be aware of the dates they are hosting so they can make plans appropriately, its your wife today it might be the wife of another tomorrow. But when the dates are obvious everyone would start preparing towards that.

Did they even consider if you are currently capable to host 20people within that short notice? Foodstuff don cost ooo.

Hosting is much more than cooking, serving , cleanup etc etc it can be draining mentally for some.

Try and get the caterer to sort it out if the meeting must hold on Sunday, whatever you do please do not create an impression that all isn't well with you and wifey.

I dnt think ur point holds any water. Even if was just a day notice, a woman who wants to protect the interest of her family will do it, a woman who wants to cover her husband's shame will do it.
what happens to love and cooperation in marriages? what happens to the for beta for worst
if she can't help her husband now when will she do it?Oh, that reminds me, other women that prepared meal for their husband are stupid habi? in fact na this kind cooking dey sweet. Has she is cooking she will b kissing and even telling the husband to make sure he compensates her with hard sex and money for her cream. he will do that because he knws she went out of her way to make him happy

bukatyne:
A wife has to be 'begged' to host 20 men in the church once in two years? Is it 'slavery' for a wife to host her husband's guests?

A husband willing to make the swallow and get someone to help?

The husband who knows the way th e rotation works should tell his men group to shift it (because his wife would not cook)?

People are throwing protection and love around; what about love, submission, nurturing!?

If clearing the sink is the problem, she cannot cook, serve and tell husbandman he will clear the sink himself since they are his people in jest?

Hmmmmmm!

@OP:

Nice tradition your church has got.

Trolling or not, the comments are appalling.

thing is am not even a Christian but what people are insinuating on this thread is appalign. So a man cannot ask a favor of his wife to cook for his guests while he himself will assist and even bring in a third party to assist, it's not like the meeting is not ethical or beneficial to the society and it is something done only once in like 20 months. People are undermining the value of marriage and it is very bad to see.

Let her do it, she will enjoy eating other women own but will become lazy when it's her turn.
Your wife is lazy.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the Good start items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

guy, buy the food from somewhere.get to know how to use plan Bb.make her fell irritating and irrelevant.ma pho.no fear

Oh wow! The comments are alarming!

I shudder to think of the kind of family the kids here will raise in future... especially the ultra-feminists here.

If a wife cannot support her husband then what good is the wife?

But she can always get anything she needs at any time from her husband right?

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

mrMeen:
thing is am not even a Christian but what people are insinuating on this thread is appalign. So a man cannot ask a favor of his wife to cook for his guests while he himself will assist and even bring in a third party to assist, it's not like the meeting is not ethical or beneficial to the society and it is something done only once in like 20 months. People are undermining the value of marriage and it is very bad to see.

It is well.

This thread shocked me.

SirMichael1:
Hello Good afternoon Familanders. This is very long, so please bear with me.

I’ll start from the root. Well, in my church, there’s usually a committee for the married men where most times we can proffer solution to the issues or need of the church members and other times organize get together monthly within us (married men) just to foster unity. Since we're like 20, different men host the get together. Therefore, it's spaced out for 1year and 8months.

It all began last Sunday when I was chosen to oversee the next get together which comes up this Sunday after church. When we (my wife and I) got home after church, I told her about it and she immediately asked, “who would do the cooking”? I was taken aback as the question sounded strange. I replied her saying, since she did the cooking the last time, I figured she’d do it this time.

She got angry and said there’s no way she’ll be going through the stress of cooking for 18 to 25 men and that I better know what to do concerning who’s going to handle the cooking. I tried to calm her down and reminded her of how I assisted her in the kitchen by pounding the yams while she made the soup -two soups actually and that I was going to help her this time. Yam is quite expensive so we’re not pounding this time, just Semo.

She remained adamant and said there was no way she would do anything, that the work stressed her so much and she won’t partake in any cooking and that I better go find anyone to do the cooking. Thing is, I understood the fact that the work was stressful for her because she was 5 months pregnant then and it was her first time.

Yesterday at work, I kept pondering about a solution and a thought struck me. I called her from work and asked her, "how about I get one of the women at church to offer you support?". She blatantly refused and still held on to her words.

My mind hasn’t been settled since morning because I got hold of a caterer and she told me that she’ll charge a thousand naira per head, that is approximately 20k. Truth is, the get together came at a wrong time and considering the prices of drinks, the cost of the food stuff, meat, ingredients, etc. I really can’t afford a caterer right now.

I’m at a cross road now. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing a rift between us. I thought of bringing a church member to assist on that day without informing her so she wouldn’t surprise me and leave the house but I fear that if she comes, my wife might not join her in the kitchen and the woman will begin to feel a certain way (thinking of how ungrateful we are). Then again, who will purchase the food items? I’ve just been confused. I really need insights.

Note: I said I'll help her make the swallow, she just needs to make the soup.

Bros am a bachelor , I don't find it funny cooking for myself let alone for others, except once in a while but when I was much younger, I was the cook at home being the last born. Everything was so cool till I started living on my own. Cooking for a whole 18-25 men is not easy despite that she's a woman. You are the husband but the kitchen belongs to her so don't bring anybody she didn't approve. That kitchen is her major office, she's in charge and women are territorial. ..they hardly give space for strangers. But I advice that you talk to her romantically or get her close friend/sister to convince her . Don't use force at all. Her primary responsibility is to take care of you and her kids , not strangers. If the women were involved in that discussion/setting of the meeting, it could have been better. Though the committee primary purpose is to create unity amongst members but the process/decision enslaves women . It could have been more better if the women were part of the committee. Some women should have been appointed to cook in different home from time to time. Like 3 women cooking in your home and another 3 women do similar thing in another house

My dear, the guy is not serious. Just hire a caterer. Very annoying and an inconsiderate person.

SmileDance:
I will give an advise when you answer my questions
1. Who will serve the 18-25 men after she cooks for them?
2. Who will pack the plates after the 18-23 men have finished eating?
3. Who will wash the dishes and clean the house after the 18-25 men have left?
Are you sure some of the 18-25 men will not eventually feel entitled to having your wife cook for them later on?
4. Are you sure you are not bringing see finish into your house laidis

If na me them wan force make she cook laidis if the men no chop rat poison na small e go remain. I'm just saying my own

SirMichael1:
I don't need anyone to condemn my wife, the mother of my kids. I just need insight on how to get her to do it.

Mr Michael, you can contact me......I will give a far better service than the caterer for less price

You can send me a DM sir

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.

This is not necessary. Not all men treat their wives like slaves. He is not an ode! He is a thoughtful and considerate man.

Humanoid01:
"Don't take your fustration out on me. If you spent few more seconds reading, maybe you'll come across the section that reads, "i'll help her make the swallow. She only has to make the soup even with the help of a helper"

Stop quoting me like your fingers are not attached to your
brains. If you're from a broken home, do not allow it
influence your thought pattern. Is making soup now difficult
for a woman. You're the reason men don't see good women
to marry anymore."

Yeah, I had to repaste SirMichael1's words for you to see again. Y'all have messed up your thought patterns just because you want to satisfy your feministic ideologies. Shame on you women of this age and the dumb men who subscribe to what you preach. I spit on your brains.

Smack down.