UyaiIncomparabl:


Thanks, dear.

Why are you thanking me ? for what ? Playing the victim ? If you want to book space, book but not with insulting words to one another. We all should learn to respect one another.

King44:
Jesus see talk ha, if you her his uncle or a brother to him and you are around that period would you accept this advice?

So he should beat her to make sure she cooks or divorce?

SirMichael1:
I live in Nigeria and not the US and as such, I won't give my guest grass to eat.

Just so you know, chicken is meat too and you didn't read red meat.

Bros I stay in Nigeria too. In the south south part of the country.

AristocraticMe:
Why are you thanking me ? for what ? Playing the victim ? If you want to book space, book but not with insulting words to one another. We all should learn to respect one another.

OK.

koolaid87:


You're the lost one

How about he cooperate with his wife by choosing a less stressful meal like snacks.

Must he make his wife passed through stress just to satisfy some church members?

He's talking about her cooking the soup only. What about the cleaning??

At Op, no stress your relationship because of church GATHERING. If they can't pie and Pepsi, then it ain't worth it.

You're already stressing about one gathering and you're putting the stress on her

What is stressful about cooking you lazy generation? Is she the gas cooker or the grinders?

In this day and generation where you can contract one food condiments trader and tell her what to buy and do the grinding and slicing of vegetable for a penny.

Anyway, enjoy your lost generation

koolaid87:


You're the lost one

How about he cooperate with his wife by choosing a less stressful meal like snacks.

Must he make his wife passed through stress just to satisfy some church members?

He's talking about her cooking the soup only. What about the cleaning??

At Op, no stress your relationship because of church GATHERING. If they can't pie and Pepsi, then it ain't worth it.

You're already stressing about one gathering and you're putting the stress on her

Are you OK like this? So he will change the menu or ask the menu to be changed because his wife cannot cook... For a gathering that happens once in almost two years. You are not smart. Someone that has agreed to do almost everything except to cook the soup just to save face, is it doing the dishes that will be difficult for him? The guy has practically compromised on everything, he's basically only just asking for help with the soup, and you are here saying nonsense. Are you even married?

So OP, if this was your child's dedication or some other important gathering, will your wife still be this adamant? Just know that you are married to a very mean woman that won't cover your shame if it's left to her. A reasonable woman will say, OK... I'll do it this last time and might give a stern warning about not accommodating it next time. Not this overpampared and appalling woman this OP is trying so hard to paint differently. You've been left high and dry brother, this should serve as a lesson to you, you now know who it is you've been calling your wife all along.

Dats why it's good to know how to cook

Where is ur location
I can help u cook if u are in Lagos
But u will give small thing

SirMichael1:


She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

Lalasticlala, seun

Who in this generation suddenly receives 20 guests, your guests not hers, how can u ask her to cater for 20 pipu

Nephilim:
it's not a must he cook for them. If he doesn't have money should he go and borrow just to satisfy them on one meal.

He must have saved for this, it a 20 months interval event.

Do you know poor people spend money for burial without having the money?

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

but,who is this again

Consider;

Look for a cheaper caterer.
Purchase take away packs from a good eatery.
Serve groundnuts, biscuits and soft drinks
Small chops and drinks will do too.

I don't think it's compulsory to serve a lavish or three course meal in any church gathering. Its not a competition.

Leave your wife alone. Body no be firewood.

SirMichael1:


She listens to her parents. Thing is, I don't want to involve them.

The last time, I pounded the yam for over 20 guests but she recieved the compliments. I just don't want to look like a dictator forcing her. I just need her to assist me in making the soup and i even told her i'll get her an assitant from the church to help her out.

Lalasticlala, seun

from ur statement u don't seems to be at the
fault,try persuade her more,if she still refuse, leave her alone she will still come back to go u,bt I think u can get the food from a nice cafeteria at a price lower than that 1k,and probably dish it urself at home,and no outsider will know what's going on with ur family at the moment

Caterer want to collect 1k per head? So, if the person is to cook for wedding party of 200 guest she will charge 200k.

Originalsly:


Yea!... read again!... they chose him! If was rotation... then he should know his turn was coming... after chopping all around for a year and a half... he had to be ready. But with one week notice?... they should know better. ... unless OP be flossing like his pockets got no bottom! They wrong him... and he trying to do same to wifey.

I agree that it could have been organised better but it's not unique to him. The others have done theirs and it's his turn. Churches haven't been opened for a while, that might have contributed to the "messy planning." But that has nothing to do with preparing the food. He's spending money too and also involved in the cooking.

Get someone and make both of una arrange am.
E good make man sabi cook.

Foolish guy. I no even complete reading this nonsense

Just borrow him your wife or mother

Oponu


quote author=Johniyke2flex post=93544215]


Are you OK like this? So he will change the menu or ask the menu to be changed because his wife cannot cook... For a gathering that happens once in almost two years. You are not smart. Someone that has agreed to do almost everything except to cook the soup just to save face, is it doing the dishes that will be difficult for him? The guy has practically compromised on everything, he's basically only just asking for help with the soup, and you are here saying nonsense. Are you even married?

So OP, if this was your child's dedication or some other important gathering, will your wife still be this adamant? Just know that you are married to a very mean woman that won't cover your shame if it's left to her. A reasonable woman will say, OK... I'll do it this last time and might give a stern warning about not accommodating it next time. Not this overpampared and appalling woman this OP is trying so hard to paint differently. You've been left high and dry brother, this should serve as a lesson to you, you now know who it is you've been calling your wife all along. [/quote]

Borrow him your wife, girlfriend or Mom

Nonsense

LadyExcellency:


What is stressful about cooking you lazy generation? Is she the gas cooker or the grinders?

In this day and generation where you can contract one food condiments trader and tell her what to buy and do the grinding and slicing of vegetable for a penny.

Anyway, enjoy your lost generation

UyaiIncomparabl:
Lol. Ode.

What's wrong with children of nowadays?
If you don't have a reasonable thing to say,why don't you shut up than insulting the op.

SocialJustice:
Crase husband, you want your wife to be cooking for your useless religious cult members frequently because she agreed to marry you.

Carry your evil load and get out of this place.

And you had to insult him? Tueh

Stop bringing your family issue to Nairaland

Uncle no vex ooooo, if u are thinking abt the situation of the country hindering u from getting a caterer why can't the church also thinks of the country's situation and pause the get together till things get better in the country so that you can make use of a caterer. she is definitely right by refusing what she can't do cos she has learnt not to endure what she is supposed to enjoy.... pity her abeg, dis cooking matter no easy ooo or better still, get her to go to the market for you then get a fellow man from the group to help you out. lobatan

The 20k the caterer offered you for that food, will be cheaper than making your wife buy food ingredients and cook for 20 people.

Learn to be considerate. 20 people is too many for one person, or even two people to cook for, and anyone who says otherwise, has never cooked for that amount of people.

I know the stress attached to cooking for eight or ten people, even when we are two doing it, how much more twenty people? She must be a strong woman, to even be able to turn a pot of soup or rice for that amount of people.

You are being selfish, expecting your wife to cook for that many people, just because she did it the first time. There are hundreds of caterers and food delivery services these days, contact them and solve your problem, if you must feed these men.

Else, garden egg and groundnut are still options

koolaid87:
Borrow him your wife, girlfriend or Mom

Nonsense

uncle,weldone Sir. dose machines will operate themselves Abi and endure the duration of the stress involved in the kitchen. if it's family food she is refusing to cook now we will say dats bad but u expect one person to cook party food.... Nawa ooooo

@Op, I honestly don't think your wife is saying no without a good reason. Were her efforts appreciated the last time you hosted? Are there some unresolved issues between you two currently? Find out and address them.

Get the foodstuffs will chage 5k for the cooking

Eating food every month to 'foster unity'. Na wah o. It is just a kind of competition to me. What we do in churches these days is baffling. Some might even go out of their way to cook just because they do not want to be behind. Mr Festus' wife cooked jollof rice last month, My wife must cook fried rice. What happened to snacks? And it's not like you people are that bouyant. Mtcheew!

ebby9z:


I agree that it could have been organised better but it's not unique to him. The others have done theirs and it's his turn. Churches haven't been opened for a while, that might have contributed to the "messy planning." But that has nothing to do with preparing the food. He's spending money too and also involved in the cooking.

After all.... would be better if we can hear her side. It must be something that she is soooo against it. At least last time he pounded yams.... and I guess he did all the tastings.... he didn't mention about helping with the after feast clean up! Maybe he didn't let them know she was the one that prepared the finger licking dishes.... maybe he said we... and knowing women.... their glory is not to be shared! Is something did not go down well with her.

ezugegere:


Married with kids.
Why did you ask and why did you doubt?

So your wife will refuse blatantly not to support you on such decision and u let it slide?

Go to market itself? Chief you need to review your leadership style in the house...

Liftmaster:


No offense taken. It's not an issue of inconvenience but the issue here is the husbands lack of discernment. Regardless of whatever the reason for declining is, the wife has a right to do so. Her declining may be being inconsiderate but she has a right to it. I marvel at those on here that think that because a husband asks his wife to do something, she must always say yes. A wife has rights too. I hate to say this, but wisdom does seem to be in short supply In some of the antagonistic responses.
One further point. You said "Don't we all host people from time to time? We are a people and I think we have some communal sense, why act as though it is strange?" Why do you speak like we are all together in his marriage? Everybody is different. We may have certain customs as a people but it doesn't mean everyone agrees with these customs and willingly participates. Every individual has rights. She has spoken her mind and we as a people need to learn to respect other people's rights and opinions.

The wife was glad to do the hosting when she was 5 months pregnant. I personally think that was inconsiderate of the husband to ask her to do so, but regardless, she gladly oblidged. This time around she said no and is vehement in her refusal. There is something going on here. A sufficiently wise husband should discern something from this. Regardless of what path he takes, the issue will,still remain. He will be wise pick his battles, drop the issue and move on. At a later time when tempers have cooled, he can come back and try to figure out what exactly the issue is.

I don't know how the wife was during courtship, but anybody I marry, if I marry, will know that I am not a hostess of any sorts.

I don't belogn to any association anywhere, I don't have friends, I don't have social life, nothing. So, expecting someone like me to cook for a large number of people, is laughable.

So many people here, are just shouting 'traditional values', as if this is 1993. Traditions change, people evolve, it is retrogressive, to keep expecting people to hold on to certain traditions, especially when they do not particularly favor a person. Cooking is a stressful task on its own, how much more for up to twenty-five people? It is this idiotic need to impress strangers that has dragged OP to this point, and has plagued too many Nigerians.

He clearly has limited funds for this gathering, but is too proud to make it known. He informs his wife a week before the event, that she is expected to cook for 20-25 people by the next week. It is a highly inconsiderate behavior, because even the timing is short. It is only irresponsible people that are open to whatever in short periods like that.

Even more disgraceful, he now brought the matter to Nairaland, so that more strangers can bash his wife, and validate his own feelings. What a nice, considerate husband. God help this generation.

tumababa:


So he should beat her to make sure she cooks or divorce?

check my second post and see for yourself the advice I gave.

Why should he do such?

When he married a woman that can't be reasoned with, he should know already that he has created a room for compromise in his home.

So he has to apply wisdom.

Unless ur wife is pregnant, if not then cooking for 20 guest is nt a big deal to warant d fuss. Its possibl she may be having a beef with sm of d guests or thinks d associatn is nt worth it. But let ask, are there benefits attachd to hosting, if nt then u guys are just lavishing money. Get togethers are usually financd by d associatn and held periodically.,say end of d year where all hands must participat. Find out frm ur wife wht d prob is

If you know the gathering is compulsory and you really love your wife and want her love and respect, get a caterer.that solves it all,peace and unity continues in your home.
Even if it warrants you borrowing money to settle the cooking and the caterer,do it.