₦airaland Forum

Oizee:
Nawao, ur case is like that of someone I know, but his mum was there all tru, she sacrificed all she had. The dad was completely absent, he didn't even know when he finished pri/sec sch.
God bless d guy and he got a job, he lost his mum shortly after.
Now d dad is really in a bad condition and not that he remarried after the separation from deir mom, he wasted his life to alcohol.
He was a serious drunkard. He has 3 kids from d woman and my friend is d first born and only male. The younger ones are married, d man will be calling dem and be reporting dem to people as if he was there for them and the children are now neglecting him.
One woman told my friend that he should look at the whole thing as a challenge in life and as a test from God.
Your parent failed themselves and God, don't be like them, God will continue to protect and bless you more.
But do only what u are capable of doing and don't go extra mile for them, cuz they don't deserve it. But inorder to get total blessing from ur God, please take care of them in any little way you can but don't abandoned them, don't commit sin out of pain.

Very very stupid take.... They deserve nothing from him.. Religion makes people greatly stupid sha.... Even the Bible said.. Thou shall reap why you sow

What a touching story? One advice, ask God to direct you, and He will. Don't forget the story of Joseph. Many people on Nairaland are bitter people, they may not give you advice that will help you. But God will, seek His face, and I am sure He will speak and guide you. I wish you all the best in life.

Clonepops:
Nah trash talk be this sha.. Make we no lie.. Forgive and assist them... Oh.. So they get away with thier actions right Can you forgive and assist someone who maybe.. Killed your child? Then why should he assist someone who abandoned him.. If he had died.. Would they have cared.. Christianity is making some of you irredeemably stupid and manipulative at the same time.. Even the Bible says... A man reaps what he sows

I'm sure if u were to be God u won't let rain fall.i agreed they have done something wrong and that's the reason why I should assist them in the little way that it will not affect him.stop talking as if u have not done something wrong to someone before,even the bible that u quote says we should forgive one another

You’re successful now. Forgive your parents. Life is short to hold grudges.

SecretSpy666:
The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

First thing first forgive them because you making it this far was just God, but don't let them use you as in asking for help all the time, they should be concern about you not your money , call them and let them know you are not a money making machine, they should call to check on you and that's all, anybody that's not OK with this rule just take a walk.

GboyegaD:
One of the things I read here is ignorance on their part. One might be thinking he is punishing the other without recourse to jow the instrument used (you in this case) feels about it.

They have erred and deserve forgiveness. Having a relationship with them to know their person, ideology, and character flaws as a way of guiding yourself is no crime. You do not need part with your money to achieve this.

Easier said .....you will not understand

Froshloaded:
Ikr..

There is this bible saying "Honour thy father and Mother, so your days shall be long"

He should not commit a sin because of his parents..

Honor your father and thy mother... You no read it down.. Where that same Bible said.. Parents.. Provoke not your children

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

I know you have gone through alot. The chances that you are bitter towards them is there. However, when you see the genuineness of their repentance ( if they beg for your forgiveness) Please forgive them. Don't be rash in your decision whether to assist them or not. Nevertheless, don't allow any of their children to stay with you, help them from afar. Don't give cash to them if you want to give them money; do make a transfer to their bank accounts. The Lord be with you.

1StopRudeness:
My only question is ....how the fvck did they get your number??

Hahaha! I don laugh tire.

Please change your moniker (SecretSpy×××), it is demonic.

Clonepops:
Your take is trash.... Would you abandon your 2 year old child, if he had died... Would they have come back for him?? Don't you dare emotionally manipulate this guy.... Op.. If you forgive them and take on extra financial burden from very toxic people.. Op.. I swear to The almight God.. You will live to regret it.. Im talking from experience

Listen and listen good.
He can forgive them but not still help them out...

Forgiveness does not have to do with Helping them.


I'm sure u don't know the kind of burden in this man heart.... He can forgive so as to let go of this burden

I read somewhere this morning that you must not forget the pain you went though when you were somewhere and how long it took you to get your peace of mind back. One donated sperm, the other egg, they failed in their parental responsibilities beyond conception. If you didn't progress in life, would you have mattered?

Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

I adopt this advice. Follow this advice.

Ishilove:
The same bible says parents should not drive their children to despair. These ones do not deserve honour.

"Honour thy father and thy mother..." This is not a conditional statement. That is, it doesn't matter who they are or what they have done, HONOUR them. Why? Verse 3 of that chapter says "that it may be well with thee and that you may live long".

PS: I strongly condemn what his parents did and I suggest they seek for forgiveness and not money.

well forgive them but move on with ur life . they can't reap where they didn't sow.

My brother in respective of what ever happened they are still your parents and you don’t have any other parents anywhere that can change their status, please I advise you to give them the maximum respect required by any son to his parents and support them in any way possible you can, I swear with the whose my soul is with him you would be bless more if you assist them at no once but always.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

SecretSpy666

Your story is inspiring

I had goose pimples reading it.

Whatever you like, do with yourself

It's your life and your call.

I know that we men can be stupid sometimes, but I am particularly surprised at your mother.

Even when a man starts misbehaving, a mother takes charge because she was the one who went through excruciating pains to have the baby.

I wish you the very best in everything you do.

Once again, I know that your story will inspire someone

Guy Bleep em all, continue if ur life, u don ready be orphan right from small, dis nor be nollywood wey dem dey forgive anyhow, my guy change number mk u live ur life oo

If u give anybody moni u go fear as Ado ekiti go just sack u from work

Talkn from experience

Forgive - it's for your benefit. Help out, if and when you can - the blessings will be yours.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Start Life a new.

Change your name

Enjoy life

Those people are undeserving.

If one of them should die, you won't be able to forgive yourself. Please help them even if you can't forgive them. I find it easy to render monetary help to people I don't even like

Oizee:
what's the essence of forgiveness if he will still retaliate the same way? They are still his parents and that's the angle I'm looking at.
God has been merciful to him despite all he went through. May God bless him with a virtuous lady too. Let him liv vengeance for God. Wether or not he takes care of them, they will still reap what they sow, there's no point in paying them back d same way

No dey dey stupid with religion.. I hate am... The Bible said.. He who dosent provide for his family is worse than an infidel

gud4dbest:
I know you have gone through alot. The chances that you are bitter towards them is there. However, when you see the genuineness of their repentance ( if they beg for your forgiveness) Please forgive them. Don't be rash in your decision whether to assist them or not. Nevertheless, don't allow any of their children to stay with you, help them from afar. Don't give cash to them if you want to give them money; do make a transfer to their bank accounts. The Lord be with you.

ObiaboAdoka:
my bro, to err is human forgiveness is divine. forgive dem, they r still ur parents. if not for wat d did to u, u wouldn't av achieved wat u about achieve. a tree can not make a forest. u need dem nd dey also need u. u can't build a separate family from dem. shalom.
finally, finally, listen to Pastor Femi Emmanuel's devotional teaching nd inspirational talk nd free ur heart of vengeance. vengeance z for d weak nd forgiveness z for d strong.

Be truthful yourself, will you give yourself this same advice if you were in this young man’s shoes
Forgive and forget is better preached when it involves some else..

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Different strokes for different folks.
This life is not just balanced. If you think you have heard it all, that's when unimaginable issues spring up.
I will advice you forgive them if they come seeking for it. Remember, everyone's journey through this life is a different one. Accept it as your destiny and mind you you need their blessings to thrive more in life. I have not said what they did to you is good but their actions somehow have helped you to shape your life even in ways you didn't imagine.

Duggedised12:
Let me say this,there is something people don't know about forgiveness, that you forgive someone doesn't mean things have to go back to normal. You can forgive them ,but you are not obligated to be a son to them cos they long lost that right ,you grew up like an orphan, I am sure if you live the rest of your life like an orphan you will be just fine.


You do not owe any of them anything ,not emotionally , financially or even spiritually.

I don't completely agree with you even though I get perspective. Forgiveness is nullified if you don't grant the same access pre-offence. The forgiving action is the act that builds a broken bridge.

But men! I completely get where you are coming from.

my bro, to err is human forgiveness is divine. forgive dem, they r still ur parents. if not for wat d did to u, u wouldn't av achieved wat u about achieve. a tree can not make a forest. u need dem nd dey also need u. u can't build a separate family from dem. shalom.
finally, finally, listen to Pastor Femi Emmanuel's devotional teaching nd inspirational talk nd free ur heart of vengeance. vengeance z for d weak nd forgiveness z for d strong.

My guy, just take it that you have always been an orphan all your life..look for a good woman and be a good father to your kids..Don't help any of them or contact them..let them not contact you too but release them from ur heart..forgive them but have nothing to do with them or their kids.

Oizee:
what's the essence of forgiveness if he will still retaliate the same way? They are still his parents and that's the angle I'm looking at.
God has been merciful to him despite all he went through. May God bless him with a virtuous lady too. Let him liv vengeance for God. Wether or not he takes care of them, they will still reap what they sow, there's no point in paying them back d same way

They’re not his parents, parenting goes beyond bringing a child into the world!

Forgive and forget.

Like how do you guys do it? Working, schooling part time, and even masters. You deserve an award!

luminouz:
Seriously bro. That line is fishy ad hell. PT graduates to my knowledge don't go for service. A law was supposed to be passed to circumvent this but I'm not sure it has been passed.

You of all people should know how NLanders tell tall tales. Another angle is this...these tall talers never answer or reply comments beyind the second page (to keep the thread moving). OP hasnt answered or related to anyone since the second page.

These are just my personal observations about liars on this forum

.B: Check OP's thread on Jan 10.(how I married with just 28000) and see what he wrote. If he was married then,how come he stated in this story that he stays alone and is JUST planning to get married without telling his parents. I told you that something is fishy about his story

Lumi you got a valid point there

But if true, it baffles me why someone will just concoct a fake story and post for likes. Is there a monetary value to the amount of LIKES one gets in Nairaland. Makes absolutely no sense. I find it hard believing stories I read here anymore. Too many lies.

Happy weekend bruv

SmartPolician:
SecretSpy666

Your story is inspiring

I had goose pimples reading it.

Whatever you like, do with yourself

It's your life and your call.

I know that we men can be stupid sometimes, but I am particularly surprised at your mother.

Even when a man starts misbehaving, a mother takes charge because she was the one who went through excruciating pains to have the baby.

I wish you the very best in everything you do.

Once again, I know that your story will inspire someone

Goose pimples reading a fake ass story??

Most Nigerians are gullible sha.

This dude already used 28k to marry in January. Check his threads naaaaa...he even had a son then

Yet he JUST wanted to marry in this story.