₦airaland Forum

bola4dprec:
Children, listen to me; I am your father. Do what I tell you and you will be safe, for the Lord has given fathers authority over their children and given children the obligation to obey their mothers. If you respect your father, you can make up for your sins, and if you honor your mother, you are earning great wealth. If you respect your father, one day your own children will make you happy; the Lord will hear your prayers. If you obey the Lord by honoring your father and making your mother happy, you will live a long life. Obey your parents as if you were their slave. (A)Honor your father in everything you do and say, so that you may receive his blessing. When parents give their blessing, they give strength to their children's homes, but when they curse their children, they destroy the very foundations.

Never seek honor for yourself at your father's expense; it is not to your credit if he is dishonored. Your own honor comes from the respect that you show to your father. If children do not honor their mothers, it is their own disgrace. My child, take care of your father when he grows old; give him no cause for worry as long as he lives. Be sympathetic even if his mind fails him; don't look down on him just because you are strong and healthy. The Lord will not forget the kindness you show to your father; it will help you make up for your sins. When you are in trouble, the Lord will remember your kindness and will help you; your sins will melt away like frost in warm sunshine. Those who abandon their parents or give them cause for anger may as well be cursing the Lord; they are already under the Lord's curse.

So there is no place where it said for parents to have sense BA? This applies to a child given all but turns unfortunate.

The OP does not owe his selfish parents anything. They should look up to the children they abandoned him for abeg.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

You have done well. Very well for other parents to learn to be responsible and show love to their children even when they don’t have money.
Remain blessed and double your hustle for greater success. Amen.

Oizee:
honestly I understand his pain, showing kindness to our parent is mandatory on us, irrespective of what they might have done.
One thing is sure, they are already regretting, especially d mother. They will surely reap what they sow. Let d guy forgive. Forgiveness usually brings peace of mind.

Thank God you said, "patents" are they his parents?, does bringing someone into this world (man impregnating a woman and the woman giving birth) qualifies one to be called "parent (s)"? (because that's the only claim they have over him).
You're talking about forgiveness, have they in any way shown remorse, apologized for the ill treatment?,do you think that they would have been looking for him now if not that he is doing well?.We need to be rational and stop given everything spiritual connotation,na him dey spoil things.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Your story is very dicey. But I'd advise that you don't pay them back in their coin. Forgive them. It ain't easy cos and I can understand your pain. If you have give them but don't go the extra mile or get close to them. If they can abandon you they can do worse knowing that you are rich now. Keep them at arms length but still help. Don't let them come close to you.

Clonepops:
This is a very bullshitty talk... These people are just trying to come back to his life to put financial burden on him.. Family isn't by blood.. Family is who loves you. If the op needs a family.. He should get married to a woman he loves and who loves him in return... Oh.. He should forgive and start taking over their financial burden? Ask yourself this question.. If he had died, would they have cared?? How the hell do you abandon a 2 years old child and expect to escape repercussions by way of forgiveness??.. These people are coming back for the money

Abi na. D Op should free them. Na d emotional blackmail dem dey use dey milk people unnecessary in this part of d world b that and we still backward.

eyinjuege:
I must say you have done very well for yourself if your story is true. You've shown resilience, courage , determination to succeed despite all the odds against you.
Well done for that. Give yourself a pat on the back
With regards to your parents and their brood, stay far from them. You meant nothing to them in the past, and you mean nothing to them now. Your money may mean a lot to them though, so do not allow yourself to be used.
There are orphans who are living fine without any family.
Don't feel bad that you've refused their requests, afterall they never granted any of yours when you needed them in the past.
I would implore you to continue working hard and when you decide to marry, please marry someone who loves you and ready to help you grow further. Marry someone who is concerned about your welfare, who will be ready to stand by you through thick and thin. Do not let your partner pressurise you into getting close to your parents as they would be your downfall. You mean nothing to your biological parents unfortunately. Build your own family
I wish you the best.
Family are those who covered you from the rain and other elements, and those who you matter to.

I wish I could like this comment a thousand times. I also wished I got this advice earlier maybe I would have avoided the many problems and people that got entangled with. The Op story is my story though it's my mom who left me at 2 and didn't even care even when I got to look for her at 20 years of age.

Some parents are really careless and heartless. I got married without her. I have 3 kids now. Make the best choice of a partner, please like the quoted post mentioned. Marry someone who will be your sister, mother and everything and work hard to get back everything you never had.

You were not shown love, you need dose of it. Marry someone who will love you, pamper you to death.
Associate with people who will make you accomplish your goals.

Always plan. You know you have no one but yourself. Plan what you want for your life today, in 3 months, 1 year.

I made a mistake of trying to allow my mom into my life because of what people said about repercussions this and that.
That period was the darkest in my life. I almost lost everything.

Change your numbers and if possible your location and keep to yourself. Stay close to God. Forgive them but disassociate. Be good to all yet stick to your goals and plans. You have a lot of self pleasing and growing up to do.

I wish you all the best. It's a long road ahead.

Funkyswagzz:
If he is wicked what do u call his parents?

two wrongs don't make a right.

SweetCunt97:
So there is no place where it said for parents to have sense BA? This applies to a child given all but turns unfortunate.

The OP does not owe his selfish parents anything. They should look up to the children they abandoned him for abeg.

Be humble in everything you do, and people will appreciate it more than gifts. The greater you become, the more humble you should be; then the Lord will be pleased with you. The Lord's power is great, and he is honored by those who are humble. Don't try to understand things that are too hard for you, or investigate matters that are beyond your power to know. Concentrate on the Law, which has been given to you. You do not need to know about things which the Lord has not revealed, so don't concern yourself with them. After all, what has been shown to you is beyond human power to understand. Many people have been misled by their own opinions.

So a painful experience,thank God your alive to tell your story. But you need let a bygone be bygone and forgive them.

Thank God for His grace over your life. Do not abandon your parents. Do what you have in power for your parents, do not over burden yourself with their children expenses. Let them see what the Lord has done in your life and forgive them not

dont know about this but i know that as a christian the story of joseph was told for a reason, what better reason than forgiveness?

Akamariner:
Tah!, no forgiveness for willingly chosing to be foolish, every other form of sin is forgivable, but not willful foolishness, it's worse than murder, let them taste from the wine they served.

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Hmmm. we all have our fair share of challenges. And u may be surprised when some one else tell u their story.

As for helping them, pls, dont relent, send the help u can afford any else. Dont turn them down. Dont take revenge. The God that saw u through it all is able to do much more than u can ever think.
Pls, forgive their ignorance, I beg u

Thank God for His grace over your life. Do not abandon your parents. Do what you have in power to assist your parents, do not over burden yourself with their children expenses. Let them see what the Lord has done in your life and forgive them not to shame them but to glorify the Lord in your life.

Please have a forgiving spirit. Commit them in to God's hand and God will surely direct you

Thank god for your life. Its not easy. In the same vein forget and forgive your parents. They gave birth to you. I know you ve been through a lot but look on the brighter side. help them if you feel like

Fvck dem

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family

Vengeance... my brother vengeance.... Dnt let it swallow you, if you are not careful it could change who you are

bro they are your parents forgive them i swear they loved u just forgive them pls

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

I support you 1000%

eyinjuege:
I must say you have done very well for yourself if your story is true. You've shown resilience, courage , determination to succeed despite all the odds against you.
Well done for that. Give yourself a pat on the back
With regards to your parents and their brood, stay far from them. You meant nothing to them in the past, and you mean nothing to them now. Your money may mean a lot to them though, so do not allow yourself to be used.
There are orphans who are living fine without any family.
Don't feel bad that you've refused their requests, afterall they never granted any of yours when you needed them in the past.
I would implore you to continue working hard and when you decide to marry, please marry someone who loves you and ready to help you grow further. Marry someone who is concerned about your welfare, who will be ready to stand by you through thick and thin. Do not let your partner pressurise you into getting close to your parents as they would be your downfall. You mean nothing to your biological parents unfortunately. Build your own family
I wish you the best.
Family are those who covered you from the rain and other elements, and those who you matter to.

What if his or her spouse is willing to know his parents?

boldx:
Your father and mother are simply irresponsible. Be that as it may: if you forgive them and let go, I am sure God will remember you for good. But you need to exercise caution when helping out.

God has remembered him already. he should cut them off completely!

The one that got me speechless is the aspect of your mother... Can't imagine leaving my child to anyone's custody....

Look well before you leap ....Don't rush into marriage...
With what you passed through, make everything possible to live happily with your wife. You deserve it wholeheartedly!!!!
In fact, Happiness and well-being is your right
Good luck!!!

That's why I keep telling people that separation is far more better than divorce which exposes children to so many things including STDs,Teenage pregnancy, early marriage, cultism,Robbery etc

SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Kids, this is how you stay perpetually poor.
This man just got a job at a university and probably making less than 200k a month but somehow, rather than thinking of how to elevate his finances, he is entertaining calls from Beggars!!!

One thing I can tell you here that most people wouldn’t be able to tell you on NL because they haven’t attained financial success yet is that your true friends and “family” will never expect a handout from you. They will bring opportunities to you. Don’t forget those types of people. The only question you should be asking is how you will reward your friend for helping you find the job...... my recommendation is you buy him a nice wristwatch and thank you card. Never forget he was the one that even put you in a position for leeches you wanna leech!

Make no mistake, being attractive to leeches does not mean you are successful. It simply means that the leech has seen you as a potential meal ticket and nothing else.

Be guided!!

oshorstan:
two wrongs don't make a right.

My dear forget that thing.. they never expected him to make it in life buh he did. Karma is bitch my friend. And lemme tell u it's always family that bring someone down. So my best advice for him is to stay far away from them as he can. He needs to heal from the pain he went thru. Do u think it's easy for him to forgive.

oshorstan:
two wrongs don't make a right.

My dear forget that thing.. they never expected him to make it in life buh he did. Karma is bitch my friend. And lemme tell u it's always family that bring someone down. So my best advice for SecretSpy666 is to stay far away from them as he can. He needs to heal from the pain he went thru. Do u think it's easy for him to forgive?

Kaptainemeka:
dont know about this but i know that as a christian the story of joseph was told for a reason, what better reason than forgiveness?

This is 2020AD, Not 10000000000BC

luminouz:
Somebody else apart from me is using his brains. Other commenters are just bulldozing away with their emotions,scattering everywhere.


I had friends who did PT. They never went for service. Dude finished service and even did Msc so lemme assume he finished around 2017?

There are schools that incorporates their part time students to their regular students list before submitting it to NYSC. They gave us NYSC form and we filled it and our names came out. That was before the online registration started, some years ago

magicminister:
Kids, this is how you stay perpetually poor.
This man just got a job at a university and probably making less than 200k a month but somehow, rather than thinking of how to elevate his finances, he is entertaining calls from Beggars!!!

One thing I can tell you here that most people wouldn’t be able to tell you on NL because they haven’t attained financial success yet is that your true friends and “family” will never expect a handout from you. They will bring opportunities to you. Don’t forget those types of people. The only question you should be asking is how you will reward your friend for helping you find the job...... my recommendation is you buy him a nice wristwatch and thank you card. Never forget he was the one that even put you in a position for leeches you wanna leech!

Make no mistake, being attractive to leeches does not mean you are successful. It simply means that the leech has seen you as a potential meal ticket and nothing else.

Be guided!!

On point.

Mstick:
I know all this sentimental and religious nutjobs will try to emotionally manipulate you, but your parents deserve to be left where they were when you needed them.

I can't imagine not running to my child when they need my support. So you obviously know they're not coming to you because they love you but because they want to use you.

We have arrived. They have made their own mistakes, do not follow in their path. If you can, place them on a monthly allowance. You do not owe your step brothers or sisters anything

Change that phone number they have access to jare. They abandoned one child but mow want to put the bukata of 12 children from their respective marriages and individual responsibilities on you ? Dem smoke? If you had ended up an agbero, would they bencalling you for help today? If you had died would they have fone to your grave to ask for a dime?

.

Oizee:
Nawao, ur case is like that of someone I know, but his mum was there all tru, she sacrificed all she had. The dad was completely absent, he didn't even know when he finished pri/sec sch.
God bless d guy and he got a job, he lost his mum shortly after.
Now d dad is really in a bad condition and not that he remarried after the separation from deir mom, he wasted his life to alcohol.
He was a serious drunkard. He has 3 kids from d woman and my friend is d first born and only male. The younger ones are married, d man will be calling dem and be reporting dem to people as if he was there for them and the children are now neglecting him.
One woman told my friend that he should look at the whole thing as a challenge in life and as a test from God.
Your parent failed themselves and God, don't be like them, God will continue to protect and bless you more.
But do only what u are capable of doing and don't go extra mile for them, cuz they don't deserve it. But inorder to get total blessing from ur God, please take care of them in any little way you can but don't abandoned them, don't commit sin out of pain.

When I was reading your comment my heart skipped because initially I thought someone that knows me was relating my story. Bro, your friend's story is similar to mine.
My dad chased us (3 boys and one girl) out of his house in 1989 and brought in another woman with a child. I was barely 8 years old at that time. He abandoned us all and remarried scores of other women. He even assisted some of these women to build house. The irony of it all is that non of those women is with him.
He did not know how my siblings and i went to school.
Fast forward to the present time, he has lost everything, he now wanted his children back but the love is not there particularly from my end. The sad thing is that my mum who had been there all these while died shortly after i secured a job. It was really sad and still sad. She toiled so much for us her children.
Well I have since forgiven him but the love is not there and I cant do more than I can afford for him

GboyegaD:
One of the things I read here is ignorance on their part. One might be thinking he is punishing the other without recourse to jow the instrument used (you in this case) feels about it.

They have erred and deserve forgiveness. Having a relationship with them to know their person, ideology, and character flaws as a way of guiding yourself is no crime. You do not need part with your money to achieve this.

I went through this path believe me in my case it ended in tears.
He needs to heal up and start a new life without interference.