Numero9:
You have a point bro. Unfortunately most of today's wife to be's aren't worth the stress. One needs to be extra careful so he doesn't end up with the wrong wife/ wife to be.

thebosstrevor1:
If i was to choose between my wife to be or my mum, i will choose my wife to be not because i don't love my mum but because now is the time to prepare for my family.

A man that is ready to marry should be ready to detach from his mother's love so as to give his devotion to his wife to be, she is going to be the mother of your kids.

Most guys dont get it, guys that are emotionally attached to their mother always fail in their marriages because they dont know when to cut the line between mother and wife to be or wife.

I sincerely dont understand why a mother will be fighting for the front seat of a car with a wife to be or a wife, personally, my mum will seat at the back if my wife to be is going out with me that does not mean i dont respect her, i respect her and i will give my mother what she wants that is if i have it, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't protect my territory.

I believe mothers are creating lot of boys to be emotionally dependent on them, this is just wrong, a mother can not give you the type of love you deserve but what she thinks you deserve, your wife might not also give you love but your mother wont be there to give you kids, to cook for you, to teach your kids homework,to clean your house and give you sex.

I just think mothers need to understand that their son will become a man oneday, he is not going to be your second husband, please allow him to be a man, stop depending on him for your finances or for emotional support, remember he is going to be someone's wife, allow him to be able to prepare for his own battles.

thebosstrevor1:

Most guys dont get it, guys that are emotionally attached to their mother always fail in their marriages because they dont know when to cut the line between mother and wife to be or wife.

I sincerely dont understand why a mother will be fighting for the front seat of a car with a wife to be or a wife,

I believe mothers are creating lot of boys to be emotionally dependent on them,

CAPSLOCKED:


YOUR WIFE WILL DO THIS TOO. SHE WILL RAISE YOUR SONS TO BE EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT ON HER THROUGH VARIOUS MANIPULATION TECHNIQUES, AND SHE MAY EQUALLY FIGHT WITH HER SON'S WIFE OVER CAR SEATS AND COOKING POTS BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHAT WOMEN DO.

MrBrownJay1:


I fully disagree, this issue has nothing to do with one or the other but with COMMON SENSE.

- If you want your wife to always seat in the front of the car, even though she might just go around the corner and be dropped, while your mum is gonna ride with you all day, then something is wrong with your COMMON SENSE.
- if you think your wife must always go above your mother (after marriage) regardless of the situation... For example, driving your wife to go shopping instead of driving your mum to hospital for a life saving operation, then something is seriously wrong with your COMMON SENSE.
- becoming a husband does not mean you are no longer a SON/SIBLING ...it just means you have different priorities in life. Such new priorities are just as important as your family priorities. If you will always put your wife/kids priorities above your family priorities then you, sir, lack COMMON SENSE.

thebosstrevor1:


I think you just missed the point, the writeup wasnt about not helping your mother when she is sick but about boundaries.

The reality is this, after marriage, your now a man, your wife first before your mother.

Becoming a husband means, you are no longer a mama's boy but a man who is suppose to provide and take care of his family.

An independent man will make his wife his Priorities before his mother, only a mama's boy still wants his mother influence over him in marriage.

MrBrownJay1:


You didn't understand my post.... Nobody should be first before anyone, what matters is what is MORE IMPORTANT in a man's life (at that particular moment). If you believe that wife would ALWAYS be more important, regardless of what's happening (like car seating for example), then you have no COMMON SENSE
This has nothIing to do with being a priority, but all to do with what's more important then.... You have to evaluate any scenario before deciding that wife/kids is more important than anyone else in that man's life.
If focusing on a mother's issue before a wife's issue, means to you that this man is a mama's boy then it's obvious you have no COMMON SENSE!

thebosstrevor1:
Which one is more important at that moment, so if my mother is sick, will my mother seating in the front seat get her better, i am still searching by what you mean by common sense, common sense wont be seat fighting but taking her to the hospital for treatment. if she has a husband that is not my duty.

In a married man life, his wife and kids are way important than any mother, their is no bergain for that, a man must feed his family first before his mother, that is just common sense.

MrBrownJay1:


The front seat is the only seat in the car that can recline all the way back, thus for her to lie down, sitting in front will be better....unless of course, you believe wifey must always be in front and therefore your sick mother should be uncomfortable at the back, abi?

There is a reason why ambulance have Reclining bed at the back and not car seats....



See how you are confusing the issue. NOBODY said a man should forget his family duties/responsibilities, we are talking about what is more important in a man's life!!!!! Now, COMMON SENSE would have you understand that, if a man only has money to feed a wife and kids, then he will ask his mother to come over and SHARE THE FAMILY MEAL with his mother, duh! Unless of course you believe that mother should die of hunger while husband/wife and kids eat belly full, abi?

A married man has new life responsibilities but that certainly does NOT mean that his mother should be left dying of hunger. If you can't feed everyone then all will eat Less, UNTIL YOU CAN AFFORD MORE! if your mother was your responsibility before marriage, then she will remain the same after marriage, whether a wife likes it or not.bwhat else should be done?! Throw mother away like piece Of garbage?!

MrBrownJay1:


I fully disagree, this issue has nothing to do with one or the other but with COMMON SENSE.

- If you want your wife to always seat in the front of the car, even though she might just go around the corner and be dropped, while your mum is gonna ride with you all day, then something is wrong with your COMMON SENSE.
- if you think your wife must always go above your mother (after marriage) regardless of the situation... For example, driving your wife to go shopping instead of driving your mum to hospital for a life saving operation, then something is seriously wrong with your COMMON SENSE.
- becoming a husband does not mean you are no longer a SON/SIBLING ...it just means you have different priorities in life. Such new priorities are just as important as your family priorities. If you will always put your wife/kids priorities above your family priorities then you, sir, lack COMMON SENSE.

OPAA6:

She enjoyed her own husband without you disturbing her
Why will she disturb you when it's time for you to enjoy your own wife
This mentality needs to stop
White people don't think the way we think that's why things work out perfectly for them.
Thebosstrevor1 how come too many sense in just one post .

slimay:
This OP na female or SIMP......

thebosstrevor1:


She can also lie down on the back.

You are writing like the mother doesn't have a husband.

For your second point, a mother can not die of hunger, it is also her job to fend for herself so that she wont be a dependent and a burden.

2dice01:
Before I open the thread i knew the Op will talk about Mother/Wife seating in the front sit

Is it same wife that most them will runaway or start acting like they are doing you a favour when you going through little challenges


What is so special about front sit
Then wifey should drive
Parent will seat next to her
I will be chilling at the back like a Boss

lefulefu:
i recall sometime ago some dude created a thread asking if it was ok he took permission from his wife before he gives his own mother money
u could just imagine that crap
some men are very mumuish

MrBrownJay1:


So because your mother enjoyed her husband in the past, she shouldn't be your responsibility any longer (because you now have a wife)?! Have you ever considered the fact that, while your mother as enjoy her husband, she was also taking care of her parents?!

In the west, we have RETIREMENT HOMES and people are receiving healthy PENSION checks.. stop comparing the west with Africa on this issue!!! A parent in the west don't need their children to care for them, like Africa.

MrBrownJay1:


Bro, the fact that they will even try to pit mother vs wife is the height of madness... Whether a man gets a wife or 10 wives, his mother will remain his responsibility if needed. Saying that now the wife and kids are more important (and that mother should probably starve to death now) is insane.

If you don't have any extra money to feed your mother, then your mother will move in with you all and everyone at home will eat less until you get better chop money for all.

OPAA6:

Parents in Western countries don't need their children to care for them unlike Africans
Brown are they not humans too
Is their blood different from ours
Do they have double heads
How can a mother be dragging or fighting for front seat with her son's wife
When it's bed time I hope she drag the bed to with them
why can't we do what they do over there so we too can move forward and not backward always. our black mentality is draining us into foolishness day by day
Anyways it no problem I'll Leave this fûcked up country one day

lefulefu:
if his wife is a good woman she would even rebuke the husband for abandoning his mom.Its only the bad ones who encourage their husbands to abandon their moms.Meanwhile i am yet to see a wife who abandons her own mom.its so wrong when wives are moms are pitted against each other.I seen much where wives and mom in laws get along well.Nollywood is what is messing some ppl"s mind .And sometimes it might not be about money..It might just be about visiting her knowing how she is coping and all.Someone cant just abandon his mom like that..except maybe he has a grudge against.I know not everybody loves his mom

MrBrownJay1:




I don't know why/how people fight over such silly thing as flimsy as who sits in front....but in my car, whoever I have to drop 1st will always sit at the back (unless it's kids)...it's just COMMON SENSE!!!

slimay:
This OP na female or SIMP......

virginprincess:
op i kind of agree with you but a mother love can be compare to non so most we prefer their mum