lefulefu:
Its only common with bush ppl oo
maybe the first son is the first person in the family to buy a car and hence they will naturally be fighting over car seats
but then these days is no big deal to have a car.If ur dad hadt two rides and ur mom had her own ride and u eventually got married do u think such a mom will now be fighting ur wife on who will sit on the front seat of a car??
wen someone is so bush it affects the person psychologically

lefulefu:
u can share ur love equally b/w ur wife and your mother
how hard can that be?
its not a race on who should be ur favourite
if ur wife to be is encouraging u to discard your mom that should be a red flag to u that she is not a good woman
how many wives have u seen discarding their own moms when they get married to their husbands
your mom should always have a special place in your heart cos she is the one who gave birth to u and sweated it out for u to go to school and be the man you are today.
Never u forget ur mom.

J111333:
Biko there should never be any choosing between wives to be and mums.

The TO BE added to that phrase should nullify any choosing whatsoever except for asslicking men and those under the influence of love charm if it exists. Not choosing doesn't mean a man is unnecessarily attached to his mum, it's just the right thing to do at such a time.

If my fiancee chooses me over her biological dad, I will have to review the wedding plans because it's naturally wrong.

Until a man is officially married and joined to another woman, his mum and sisters should come first. This goes to a woman too, her dad and brothers should come first before her fiancee.

thebosstrevor1:


A rational and logical man will choose his family over his mum. As for women they are always attached, for men attachment to your mum is a big No.

Choosing your wife and family over your mum does not mean you dont care, it is just a sign that you are a man not a boy, man not living in the shadow of his mum, your wife will respect you for that.

J111333:
Oga, the topic says wife to-be and that's what I based my comment on.

thebosstrevor1:


You missed the point, the writeup didn't say discard your mother, the write up simply talks about when to cut the boundaries.

You can not share your love between you mum and wife. You have to choose one, either wife or mother.

The joy of strong parenting is to see their son independent and be a man that can take decisions but i noticed most mothers are using their son for their own benefits while the marriage suffers.

Are you from a single mum home?

Which one is sweated it out to send the kid to school does she not have husband?

In some cultures in Nigeria, once the man is married, you wont see the mother interfering or trying to struggle space with the wife, she herself will be comfortable to take care of her needs by trading, the mother never demands, it is up to the son once in a while to just send gift to the mother.

lefulefu:
i recall sometime ago some dude created a thread asking if it was ok he took permission from his wife before he gives his own mother money
u could just imagine that crap
some men are very mumuish

thebosstrevor1:


You didn't know if the wife and the husband contributed to create a budget, in that situation, wont it be logical to ask the wife if they can send money to the mother?

Lets think about it why will a mother be depending on the son for survival.

She can as well take care of her needs except she is an handicapped.

lefulefu:
u sound like someone who doesnt get along with his parents..maybe that could explain ur stance and nope i am not from a single parent.My mom and dad are still much together.Anyway on ur discussion if the woman i am with should bring up any issue about to choose b/w her and my mom then that will be the end of the relationship cos such a woman when u marry her will become a bad wife and my mom and my dad will never instigate a division b/w the the woman i am with cos they not that type of ppl.Love ur wife and ur mom equally and stop thinking about disarding one and loving the other.Only children who have had bad relationships with their parents when growing up tend to think the way u do.

lefulefu:
so if ur mom(God forbid) suddenly got afflicted with one serious disease that might take her life so u would take permision from ur wife .Abeg i no talk again
to each its own
i have seen men ur type countless times

thebosstrevor1:


Not true.

I dont have any bad relationships with my parents.

From day one, my parents have already told me, they want me to florish in life and they are here to put pressure on me financially or emotionally.

Number 2 - yes, your mother gave birth to you and did all stuff for you, yes it should be appreciated but also a mother love can also destroy a man by creating an emotional dependent man and a mummy's boy aka simp.

Number 3- when a man reaches a certain age, it is expected of him to be independent and be a man of his own, depend on himself and also his decisions, that makes a muscline man.

Once he sees a girl for marriage, it is up to him to believe his intuition that he has seen and gotten a woman that will be his wife, a man seeking the opinion of his mother in choosing a wife is a weak man, a man allowing his mother to interfere with his decision is a weak man

Number 4- once he gets married, his mom is his mom and his wife is his wife, the man and his wife function as one unit,his wife is now is the Priority, there should be a boundary, a real man knows how to create that boundaries, nobody should tell him that his mother can not interfere with his marriage or take decisions for him on how to treat his wife also A man needs to know how to protect his wife from his mum or even his family especially when they abusive or aggressive, your respect as a man will increase.

thebosstrevor1:


The problem of people like you is that you jump into conclusions

If my mother is sick and my dad is alive, it is his responsibility to take care of her not mine.

My job is to go visit her in the hospital with my family.

In another scenario if she sick and no husband, i can take care of her or another sibling can, it is just common logic

lefulefu:
agreed that that when u get married your family should be ur main priority but that does not mean you should now treat ur own dad and ur mom as outsiders.Anyway sha its up to u..it depends on the type of relationship u had with ur parents when u were younger.Most times when children have a bitter relationship with their parents it affects the way they relate with such parents as adults.Your mother should have a special place in your heart just as ur wife have a special place in your heart as well.U cant be saying u will be for one and be against the other.Its like u now saying u will choose b/w ur wife or ur kids..now does that sound sane?

thebosstrevor1:




If your scenario, if we contributed to the budget and my mum gets sick, i will have to tell her that some money will be taken to treat her and it will be replaced, this is just common sense.

Even apart from marriage, if you are the ceo of a company with shareholders, do you think you can just dip your hand into the company's purse and take money because you want to treat your mum?

thebosstrevor1:


Cutting boundaries does not nean treating them like outsiders, it just means creating and protecting your own territory.

Nothing stops me and the family from visiting or buying them gifts once in a while.

Yes, a person mother should have a special place in the heart of any man but also creating boundaries does not stop you from loving your mum.

lefulefu:
so what of if ur parents are both old and ur mom falls sick..so u would expect ur old father to take care of ur old mom?
u see why i say its like u dont have a good relationship with ur parents
pls if u have issues with them biko u guys should try and make up o

lefulefu:
there should be no boundary when it comes to ur blood.Ur parents should feel comfortable when paying u a visit just as ur wife would feel comfortable in ur house.If its friends u creating boundary i can very much understand that one.

thebosstrevor1:


When i mean boundaries, i dont mean not allowing them to visit, i mean not allowing them to interference in your marriage

lefulefu:
guy its like u dont love ur parents.u sound so stiff and hard hearted
bro i certainly cant be like u
u try abeg
look like me i am over here in the carribeans
It took me 3 days to fly here from naija to here
Since since september last year i havent seen my parents and bros face to face.but we talk on video calls on whatsap.I always try to make saturdays and sundays as a special time to video chat with them and we talk.after i have talked with my parents i switch over to my bros..then during the week i try as much as possible to video chat with my aunt.these are the most important ppl in my life.I can not imagine one mumu girl will now be telling me i talk too much with siblings back home and dat she is not comfortable with it and dat if i keep doing such she will walk aways.dem never born the girl wey go do such.If she utter such words i will open the door wide for her to walk away.Like i said b4 its like u have issues with ur parents.I can feel it emitting in the way u type.

lefulefu:
if u mean interference then its mostly bad mothers who interfer in their son"s marriage but then the way nollywood portrays mother in law in many of those paience ozokwor movies is always on the extreme.Many moms are actually nice to their dauther in laws.I dont see any reason why a mother would be fighting her dauther in law except maybe if she never liked her in the first place

thebosstrevor1:


You are still attached to your parent, i promise you, you won't do this skyping and chatting for ever.

When you are about to have a family, all chatting and skyping will stop and your allegiance will be to your own personal family.

So if you are working in the rig or in the military, do you think, you gonna have time for all these skyping and chatting, a big No.

thebosstrevor1:




So if you are working in the rig or in the military, do you think, you gonna have time for all these skyping and chatting, a big No.

thebosstrevor1:


Actually most mothers fight their daughter in laws especially when they see he is not yielding to their requests, they blame it on the wife.

thebosstrevor1:
If i was to choose between my wife to be or my mum, i will choose my wife to be not because i don't love my mum but because now is the time to prepare for my family.

A man that is ready to marry should be ready to detach from his mother's love so as to give his devotion to his wife to be, she is going to be the mother of your kids.

Most guys dont get it, guys that are emotionally attached to their mother always fail in their marriages because they dont know when to cut the line between mother and wife to be or wife.

I sincerely dont understand why a mother will be fighting for the front seat of a car with a wife to be or a wife, personally, my mum will seat at the back if my wife to be is going out with me that does not mean i dont respect her, i respect her and i will give my mother what she wants that is if i have it, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't protect my territory.

I believe mothers are creating lot of boys to be emotionally dependent on them, this is just wrong, a mother can not give you the type of love you deserve but what she thinks you deserve, your wife might not also give you love but your mother wont be there to give you kids, to cook for you, to teach your kids homework,to clean your house and give you sex.

I just think mothers need to understand that their son will become a man oneday, he is not going to be your second husband, please allow him to be a man, stop depending on him for your finances or for emotional support, remember he is going to be someone's wife, allow him to be able to prepare for his own battles.

2dice01:
Before I open the thread i knew the Op will talk about Mother/Wife seating in the front sit

Is it same wife that most them will runaway or start acting like they are doing you a favour when you going through little challenges


What is so special about front sit
Then wifey should drive
Parent will seat next to her
I will be chilling at the back like a Boss

MrBrownJay1:


The front seat is the only seat in the car that can recline all the way back, thus for her to lie down, sitting in front will be better....unless of course, you believe wifey must always be in front and therefore your sick mother should be uncomfortable at the back, abi?

There is a reason why ambulance have Reclining bed at the back and not car seats....



See how you are confusing the issue. NOBODY said a man should forget his family duties/responsibilities, we are talking about what is more important in a man's life!!!!! Now, COMMON SENSE would have you understand that, if a man only has money to feed a wife and kids, then he will ask his mother to come over and SHARE THE FAMILY MEAL with his mother, duh! Unless of course you believe that mother should die of hunger while husband/wife and kids eat belly full, abi?

A married man has new life responsibilities but that certainly does NOT mean that his mother should be left dying of hunger. If you can't feed everyone then all will eat Less, UNTIL YOU CAN AFFORD MORE! if your mother was your responsibility before marriage, then she will remain the same after marriage, whether a wife likes it or not.bwhat else should be done?! Throw mother away like piece Of garbage?!

OPAA6:

She enjoyed her own husband without you disturbing her
Why will she disturb you when it's time for you to enjoy your own wife
This mentality needs to stop
White people don't think the way we think that's why things work out perfectly for them.
Thebosstrevor1 how come too many sense in just one post .

lefulefu:
u can share ur love equally b/w ur wife and your mother
how hard can that be?
its not a race on who should be ur favourite
if ur wife to be is encouraging u to discard your mom that should be a red flag to u that she is not a good woman
how many wives have u seen discarding their own moms when they get married to their husbands
your mom should always have a special place in your heart cos she is the one who gave birth to u and sweated it out for u to go to school and be the man you are today.
Never u forget ur mom.

YoungDaNaval:
Op is a first grade simp

thebosstrevor1:


You missed the point, the writeup didn't say discard your mother, the write up simply talks about when to cut the boundaries.

You can not share your love between you mum and wife. You have to choose one, either wife or mother.

The joy of strong parenting is to see their son independent and be a man that can take decisions but i noticed most mothers are using their son for their own benefits while the marriage suffers.

Are you from a single mum home?

Which one is sweated it out to send the kid to school does she not have husband?

In some cultures in Nigeria, once the man is married, you wont see the mother interfering or trying to struggle space with the wife, she herself will be comfortable to take care of her needs by trading, the mother never demands, it is up to the son once in a while to just send gift to the mother.

MrBrownJay1:


The front seat is the only seat in the car that can recline all the way back, thus for her to lie down, sitting in front will be better....unless of course, you believe wifey must always be in front and therefore your sick mother should be uncomfortable at the back, abi?

There is a reason why ambulance have Reclining bed at the back and not car seats....



See how you are confusing the issue. NOBODY said a man should forget his family duties/responsibilities, we are talking about what is more important in a man's life!!!!! Now, COMMON SENSE would have you understand that, if a man only has money to feed a wife and kids, then he will ask his mother to come over and SHARE THE FAMILY MEAL with his mother, duh! Unless of course you believe that mother should die of hunger while husband/wife and kids eat belly full, abi?

A married man has new life responsibilities but that certainly does NOT mean that his mother should be left dying of hunger. If you can't feed everyone then all will eat Less, UNTIL YOU CAN AFFORD MORE! if your mother was your responsibility before marriage, then she will remain the same after marriage, whether a wife likes it or not.bwhat else should be done?! Throw mother away like piece Of garbage?!