Zzor:
i lie?

pocohantas:


Let them not share abeg. Aisha Yesufu wey answer question, see as them done analyze the matter, come tag the husband simp. Please enjoy your marriages in your homes. If you so want to share, look for a platform with predominantly happy people- that platform isn’t Nairaland.

pocohantas:


I don’t know any alfa male that is even in a relationship. They all give the impression that they are single, not searching and would never search/marry. I guess saying otherwise would make them look weak.

ImaIma1:


I agree.

Some small boys that are still collecting pocket money from their parents will come and shout simp.

But I cannot resist the urge to share small. Marrying my friend was the best decision ever. His liberality and selfishness makes my life easy.

Vyolet:
When a woman comes here to praise her husband and say good things about him, Monikas like Crackhaus's will be the first to call names and tell her she is lying like they know her more than she knows herself.

Hathor5:






Happy to hear it.
I love happy love stories and easy is how it is supposed to be.

Zzor:
This thread is dead on arrival because most Nigerian women suffer in marriage,change your topic and you will see this place bombarded with horrible experiences

nahzyla:


Well, I wanted to give myself hope that marriage can be a happy and satisfying haven for Nigerian women. All I seem to hear about is negativity making it seem like Nigerian marriages are bleak and unhappy setups for women.

nahzyla:
Please share how you are enjoying your marriage here, the nice things your husband does for you, special things he does to make you happy, how he shows you love etc etc, how he assists you and things he does to make your life easy, you know, just positive things that make you love your husband.

I would like to hear positives about Nigerian marriage, let the happily married women gush about their happy marriages instead of everytime negativity that we read about.


Thank you for sharing, God bless you.

UjuJoan2:


So what are the things he does . . .

1. He gives me ANYTHING I ask. I know you'll think this is impossible, but my husband is the type of person that will use his last card to buy me an iPhone, just because I asked. He can never say no to me, he just can't. No matter how unreasonable the request, he just won't be able to say no. Even when we are quarelling and not talking, I would send him a message on WhatApp just to avoid talking to him . . . "I need to go to the salon, come and drop me off", he would still do it. I can't tell you the kind of confidence that gives me.

2. I am always right . . . Even when I'm wrong he still supports me. Whenever I complain about anyone to him, he automatically hates the person. It doesn't matter what happened, if you make me unhappy you become his enemy.

3. He supports me . . . Whatever I need to get to that next level, he provides. He doesn't get threatened, instead he pushes me to reach for the top. He thinks I'm the best, most intelligent and most gifted person on earth. I wish I could see myself through his eyes.

4. He lets me get away with almost anything. I can do almost anything and get away with it. To him I can do no wrong.

Let me stop here sha. . . .

UjuJoan2:


So what are the things he does . . .

1. He gives me ANYTHING I ask. I know you'll think this is impossible, but my husband is the type of person that will use his last card to buy me an iPhone, just because I asked. He can never say no to me, he just can't. No matter how unreasonable the request, he just won't be able to say no. Even when we are quarelling and not talking, I would send him a message on WhatApp just to avoid talking to him . . . "I need to go to the salon, come and drop me off", he would still do it. I can't tell you the kind of confidence that gives me.

2. I am always right . . . Even when I'm wrong he still supports me. Whenever I complain about anyone to him, he automatically hates the person. It doesn't matter what happened, if you make me unhappy you become his enemy.

3. He supports me . . . Whatever I need to get to that next level, he provides. He doesn't get threatened, instead he pushes me to reach for the top. He thinks I'm the best, most intelligent and most gifted person on earth. I wish I could see myself through his eyes.

4. He lets me get away with almost anything. I can do almost anything and get away with it. To him I can do no wrong.

Let me stop here sha. . . .

mrblessed:
We have to be careful before we describe a slave in the guise of a desirably good, non-Nigerian husband. The immediate commenter has practically turned her husband into a slave that, never opposes her, allows her to get away with almost everything, and will always take her side in dispute, even when she is wrong. The crowning accomplishment of it all is that he makes enemy to anyone who is not in the good books of his wife.This is not rational, even in the starry-eyed western standard.

mrblessed:
We have to be careful before we describe a slave in the guise of a desirably good, non-Nigerian husband. The immediate commenter has practically turned her husband into a slave that, never opposes her, allows her to get away with almost everything, and will always take her side in dispute, even when she is wrong. The crowning accomplishment of it all is that he makes enemy to anyone who is not in the good books of his wife.This is not rational, even in the starry-eyed western standard.

UjuJoan2:


So what are the things he does . . .

1. He gives me ANYTHING I ask. I know you'll think this is impossible, but my husband is the type of person that will use his last card to buy me an iPhone, just because I asked. He can never say no to me, he just can't. No matter how unreasonable the request, he just won't be able to say no. Even when we are quarelling and not talking, I would send him a message on WhatApp just to avoid talking to him . . . "I need to go to the salon, come and drop me off", he would still do it. I can't tell you the kind of confidence that gives me.

2. I am always right . . . Even when I'm wrong he still supports me. Whenever I complain about anyone to him, he automatically hates the person. It doesn't matter what happened, if you make me unhappy you become his enemy.

3. He supports me . . . Whatever I need to get to that next level, he provides. He doesn't get threatened, instead he pushes me to reach for the top. He thinks I'm the best, most intelligent and most gifted person on earth. I wish I could see myself through his eyes.

4. He lets me get away with almost anything. I can do almost anything and get away with it. To him I can do no wrong.

Let me stop here sha. . . .

UjuJoan2:


So what are the things he does . . .

1. He gives me ANYTHING I ask. I know you'll think this is impossible, but my husband is the type of person that will use his last card to buy me an iPhone, just because I asked. He can never say no to me, he just can't. No matter how unreasonable the request, he just won't be able to say no. Even when we are quarelling and not talking, I would send him a message on WhatApp just to avoid talking to him . . . "I need to go to the salon, come and drop me off", he would still do it. I can't tell you the kind of confidence that gives me.

2. I am always right . . . Even when I'm wrong he still supports me. Whenever I complain about anyone to him, he automatically hates the person. It doesn't matter what happened, if you make me unhappy you become his enemy.

3. He supports me . . . Whatever I need to get to that next level, he provides. He doesn't get threatened, instead he pushes me to reach for the top. He thinks I'm the best, most intelligent and most gifted person on earth. I wish I could see myself through his eyes.

4. He lets me get away with almost anything. I can do almost anything and get away with it. To him I can do no wrong.

Let me stop here sha. . . .

RightToReject:




The two posts you made above have proven right my belief that people who have persecutory delusions aren't against injustice/oppression because they hate it; rather, they only hate it when they aren't the ones oppressing others. Talk about sententiousness, conceit/egoism, and hypocrisy.

Your husband uses servility wittingly or unwittingly to sustain his relationship with you in the marriage, as you presented in this second post. So, you may be happy in the marriage, but it's obviously far from being a healthy marriage, and the only way your husband would claim to be happy in it is if he's inherently servile or held by Stockholm syndrome.

The wish of every crass and or opportunistic man and woman is to always have an inherently servile person as a spouse, and the more economic buoyant the servile spouse is the better. Ironically, I haven't known you as a crass and opportunistic woman rather as a maverick one, your obvious self-absorption notwithstanding, and maverick people don't derive pleasure from oppressing others. So, it's obvious that you didn't give a correct account of your relationship with your husband and marriage. Try harder.

pocohantas:


Let them not share abeg. Aisha Yesufu wey answer question, see as them done analyze the matter, come tag the husband simp. Please enjoy your marriages in your homes. If you so want to share, look for a platform with predominantly happy people- that platform isn’t Nairaland.

UjuJoan2:


Lol . . . Okay!

But just so you know, if I were your wife you'll be the exact same way.

There are people you come across and you just want to protect them . . It's like a gift you know . . . . people say it's in my eyes

I mean, I'm kind of fabulous like that!

Okay, now I'm just teasing you.

I just couldn't resist, your post is hilarious!!!

RightToReject:


If I were the husband of a maverick Ujujoan, the only thing I'll not deny her from the listed items is item 3: "3. He supports me . . . Whatever I need to get to that next level, he provides. He doesn't get threatened, instead he pushes me to reach for the top. He thinks I'm the best, most intelligent and most gifted person on earth. I wish I could see myself through his eyes."

UjuJoan2:


Okay, let's say for arguments sake that I was subservient . . Do you think marrying one will make you do 1, 2 and 4?

RightToReject:

No. Truth is that I consider subservient (servile) people as draining as crass people - both personify opportunism, with the difference being that while the latter is haughty, the former is self-effacing. In the absence of a conscientious woman, a maverick one that has an altruistic interest in me has always been my best bet.

UjuJoan2:


Oh, I get it . .. you want an independent woman who is "humble" enough to follow follow you. Of course she can't be too "follow follow" cos we don't want to irritate you.

Doesn't that make you a bit manipulative too?

RightToReject:

Neither a conscientious woman (person) nor a maverick one who has an altruistic interest in me (or you) does "follow follow." Both always do what they know is right but for different reasons. The former does what's right because she's fundamentally or inherently from strong ethical leanings, while the latter does so because, despite being self-absorbing, has a special interest in me that isn't primarily centered on material things. In a nutshell, neither of them will mete out a pernicious act against me, provided that I stay conscientious.

The only person that needs to be conditioned is a manipulator (the opportunist), and when one does that, he/she can be said to be diplomatically offensive than manipulative.

UjuJoan2:


So do you think you know me well enough to categorically say that I am NOT conscientious, thereby undeserving of my husband's unreserved love and respect

How do you know he is not just reciprocating my own unconditional love? I mean for all you know, my husband's attitude could be as a result my own behaviour and attitude towards him.

Also, let's assume I don't have high ethical and moral standards, isn't love supposed to be unconditional?

You want a relationship where you can only love someone who you think deserves your love, but do you think you yourself really deserve to be loved? I know you think you are altruistic, conscientious and bla bla bla, but then you are still human nonetheless.

Except you want to tell me you are PERFECT!!! Trust me, you are already coming off as self righteous and conceited as it is.

UjuJoan2:

Whenever I complain about anyone to him, he automatically hates the person. It doesn't matter what happened, if you make me unhappy you become his enemy.