₦airaland Forum

Stop deceiving yourself by calling her your fiancee because she's not even your girl friend. She does not love you.

Why do I have the feeling you're the one trying to force her to marry you when it's not her wish? Now Imagine you saying shes good generally... What's good about someone who doesn't care whether you die of hunger? I mean... A lady who loves and CARES about you will naturally do these things without being told or reminded. Maybe shes hooking on to you because of what shes getting now .... So do not be decieved that you have a fiancee. You are on your own.

I Know you'll go and beg her to accept you back. Typical of NIgerian men. Going for a woman who doesn't give a damn about them only to feel the heat after marriage, come out and start disturbing the single ladies with cor.k and boo story. Please don't take this personal. That is just the general truth.

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

If u are u guys never had any issues fit financials or maybe u r nt satisfying her sexually enough
But then I will advice u sit her down have a one on one talk with her
I pray u don't get stuck in depression bro
Good luck
And again make sure there's no guy involved already

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

She is planning to marry someone else.

U should be happy for such a MIRACLE.. and not creating topics

pozehnani:
Stop deceiving yourself by calling her your fiancee because she's not even your girl friend. She does not love you.

Why do I have the feeling you're the one trying to force her to marry you when it's not her wish? Now Imagine you saying shes good generally... What's good about someone who doesn't care whether you die of hunger? I mean... A lady who loves and CARES about you will naturally do these things without being told or reminded. Maybe shes hooking on to you because of what shes getting now .... So do not be decieved that you have a fiancee. You are on your own.

I Know you'll go and beg her to accept you back. Typical of NIgerian men. Going for a woman who doesn't give a damn about them only to feel the heat after marriage and come to out and start disturbing the single ladies with cock and boo story. Please don't take this personal. That is just the general truth.

WORD!

Confuzedman:
The thing juz weak me.she is a nice person generally

Since u no wan dodge the bullet , get her a cook , promise her of a cook and house helps

Confuzedman:
That is the only reason she gave me. she said I expect too much from her in a relationship and she wonders what will happen when we marry

bros oh go thank your good God oh move on as soon as possible if you need hock up to an amazing lady hit me will introduce you to one sharp sharp

SimplyFacts:
From my observation, marriage is likely to go extinct soon. I think the practice of feminism is making almost all the ladies of this generation think men are too harsh on them. A quite percentage of them are just too lazy. Thanks to the new-generation-mothers

As if your case is not enough,,,

A wedding slated to hold on Dec.19 is dissolved this week because the lady began to behave weirdly, claimed she has no interest again,,, giving flimsy excuses. We got to know that she just met a rich man (married) who promised to get her a befitting apartment if she could get pregnant for him. Some issues came up & her friend had to divulge all the secrets in retaliation for her betrayal, too. While the groom-to-be still finds it so hard to believe/sleep, she is busy littering her WhatsApp stats with the caption ***we move***.

OP, I hope you get over it ASAP. I'm used to saying one thing; I definitely can't be sad over someone that's happy somewhere. Do you really think she's worth sacrificing your happiness

Life goes on

I remember a certain relationship i had, and the girl was pestering me for marriage, i told her im my culture, it's the woman's family that spends more during the ceremony, to make a statement to the grooms family, so she would be respected, i told her i have 2 sisters, and we spent a lot, everybody contributed.....madam was shocked, in her mind, i would be the one to bankroll the whole event, if these ladies and their families are made to invest in the relationship and the marriage , she wouldn't think of misbehaving.
A lot of guys put money first when it comes to women issues, the problem is that there is always someone that has more money than you, and let the girl be the one asking for marriage, don't be the,desperate one.

pocohantas:
If all you said is true, permit me to say, your fiancee is not a smart human. She asked how you have been coping before she came? Well, now she is there, she should make herself useful!!

Sometime ago I was having a chat with my friend. He claims to be a strong defender of the patriarchy, but I still consider him one of the most rational Nigerian men. Anyway, he asked me a question;

Him: Is it bad if I EXPECT my wife to cook for me?

Me: NO, I can’t think of any reason that should be bad. I really do hope this answer isn’t because it is an easy thing for me, but heck NO!

Him: Does it make me chauvinist, misogynistic, wicked, entitled?

Me: Lol, Noooooo

I can’t remember everything we discussed, but he said something that struck. He said, what some people call gender roles is more of ACCOUNTABILITY. Someone has to be RESPONSIBLE for something, anything and everything.

I think it is okay to have REALISTIC expectations and even in offices, we have KPIs (the organization's EXPECTATIONS of us). We try hard to meet these expectations, but when it comes to marriage, we sharpen our mouths like a beak and start whining. Yet we wonder why marriages are failing. Why everyone is single but has so much opinion on relationships/marriages- #selflove generation.

These things spur us to be better and as long as they are done with love, respect and mutual interest/understanding, I would never see any wrong in them.

Marry/date people that have sense. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to be one.

Poco ma pami now!

Confuzedman:
she knows though she is not an excellent cook.She had this same issue in her past relationship

Kai, this guy you just a fool ooo, see you still giving excuses for rubbish

My brother, just thank your God that she started manifestations earlier... Just reason up and vacate the relationship.

Confuzedman:
The thing juz weak me.she is a nice person generally

Oga everyone can be nice when they want to be. Her being nice to you is nothing special. You men are just so easy to deceive.

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

you said she stays online Everytime and when you get back she pretend that she is tired??

She definitely isn't stopping the marriage because you are complaining too much, she is stopping it because there is another person somewhere with better offer

pocohantas:
If all you said is true, permit me to say, your fiancee is not a smart human. She asked how you have been coping before she came? Well, now she is there, she should make herself useful!!

Sometime ago I was having a chat with my friend. He claims to be a strong defender of the patriarchy, but I still consider him one of the most rational Nigerian men. Anyway, he asked me a question;

Him: Is it bad if I EXPECT my wife to cook for me?

Me: NO, I can’t think of any reason that should be bad. I really do hope this answer isn’t because it is an easy thing for me, but heck NO!

Him: Does it make me chauvinist, misogynistic, wicked, entitled?

Me: Lol, Noooooo

I can’t remember everything we discussed, but he said something that struck. He said, what some people call gender roles is more of ACCOUNTABILITY. Someone has to be RESPONSIBLE for something, anything and everything.

I think it is okay to have REALISTIC expectations and even in offices, we have KPIs (the organization's EXPECTATIONS of us). We try hard to meet these expectations, but when it comes to marriage, we sharpen our mouths like a beak and start whining. Yet we wonder why marriages are failing. Why everyone is single but has so much opinion on relationships/marriages- #selflove generation.

These things spur us to be better and as long as they are done with love, respect and mutual interest/understanding, I would never see any wrong in them.

Marry/date people that have sense. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to be one.

Is this really poco? Unbelievable

Bros your matter has gotten to the judges of relationship ...(her friends) if you still love her they caution and guide her to your own terms..


https://www.instagram.com/p/CHMEHbsHZmG/?igshid=k69x4qblpqta

doris4u:
I f that is the only reason she called off the wedding, that means she wasn't really interested in getting married to you.

Confuzedman:
how is she my visitor?the first time she came, we ate out for almost a week.to lay bed and sweep was a problem for her

She stayed in your house for a week! You sef no get conscience that's why the universe is teaching you a lesson.

Never ever in your life develop any serious interest in a girl who not living with her parents or guardian. Never in your life . You want the women who are very close to the home and I mean very close.

She's so petty
And lazy

Common sense supposed to let you know she is not interested in marriage. What is her age ? Let make conclusion on the matter

Justmye26:
There is definitely something else aside from the cooking stuff, cause I see cooking or doing chores for someone she’s getting married to shouldn’t be a big deal...
However, you should try talk to her probably through any of her family members, probably she’s not used to doing stuffs like that.....and please pray about it too, God might be saying something to you through the whole situation...

Wish you the best

If "she's not used to doing stuffs like that....", who will do those stuffs for her when they're married?

My dear let's call a spade a spade and stop condoning nonsense. That girl is immature and as such should stay far from marriage. No be tomorrow now she go come here come post say the guy dey abuse her domestically, she no go talk wetin she dey do (or no dey do) wey lead to the man's aggressive behaviour

Tillatalk:
Common sense supposed to let you know she is not interested in marriage. What is her age ? Let make conclusion on the matter

Come of it!
What age did Omotola, Zara Buhari, Regina e.t.c get married?

There are 35 year old women still jumping from one man's bed to another.

Confuzedman:
The thing juz weak me.she is a nice person generally

Are you high on Jaz? How can you refer this lazy time waster as being nice... You need deliverance broh.

SimplyFacts:
From my observation, marriage is likely to go extinct soon. I think the practice of feminism is making almost all the ladies of this generation think men are too harsh on them. A quite percentage of them are just too lazy. Thanks to the new-generation-mothers

As if your case is not enough,,,

A wedding slated to hold on Dec.19 is dissolved this week because the lady began to behave weirdly, claimed she has no interest again,,, giving flimsy excuses. We got to know that she just met a rich man (married) who promised to get her a befitting apartment if she could get pregnant for him. Some issues came up & her friend had to divulge all the secrets in retaliation for her betrayal, too. While the groom-to-be still finds it so hard to believe/sleep, she is busy littering her WhatsApp stats with the caption ***we move***.

OP, I hope you get over it ASAP. I'm used to saying one thing; I definitely can't be sad over someone that's happy somewhere. Do you really think she's worth sacrificing your happiness

Life goes on

BRO, no fear marriage can't go extinct cos there is nothing new under the sun, moreover marriage is a commandment, whether we obey it or not it doesnt stop its existence.
With the divorce rate in america plus there wild freestyle, marriage still very much in existence when you now compare to nigeria, where we have religion, cultural & societal factor highly in regulation, my broda people we forever marry.

Nice quote, it as alway been the same here for me ... no time we move

Innobee99:
U are the first man that's angry for dodging a stray bullet

Exactly

If I were you, I'd gather a few friends and order drinks and suya, and party like it's 99. This is not a matter to weep over but a matter to celebrate.

When I met my fiancé, one of the first questions I asked her is "do you enjoy cooking?"

Her response was "do you enjoy eating?" And she is a lecturer with a PhD. Some girls don't like you and don't want to sacrifice for you. Leave them alone.

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

congrats to u, u just saved yourself from heart break and fights everyday

BTW

It is spelt fiancee - for the female
And fiance- for the males

Both are pronounced as
Fi-on-sei

Okay?

pocohantas:
If all you said is true, permit me to say, your fiancee is not a smart human. She asked how you have been coping before she came? Well, now she is there, she should make herself useful!!

Sometime ago I was having a chat with my friend. He claims to be a strong defender of the patriarchy, but I still consider him one of the most rational Nigerian men. Anyway, he asked me a question;

Him: Is it bad if I EXPECT my wife to cook for me?

Me: NO, I can’t think of any reason that should be bad. I really do hope this answer isn’t because it is an easy thing for me, but heck NO!

Him: Does it make me chauvinist, misogynistic, wicked, entitled?

Me: Lol, Noooooo

I can’t remember everything we discussed, but he said something that struck. He said, what some people call gender roles is more of ACCOUNTABILITY. Someone has to be RESPONSIBLE for something, anything and everything.

I think it is okay to have REALISTIC expectations and even in offices, we have KPIs (the organization's EXPECTATIONS of us). We try hard to meet these expectations, but when it comes to marriage, we sharpen our mouths like a beak and start whining. Yet we wonder why marriages are failing. Why everyone is single but has so much opinion on relationships/marriages- #selflove generation.

These things spur us to be better and as long as they are done with love, respect and mutual interest/understanding, I would never see any wrong in them.

Marry/date people that have sense. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to be one.

aunty with double life speaking .... since when did cooking & taking care of man's home stop been tantamount to SLAVERY. or is it not what you and your wannabe feminist go about postulating.
I just pity all those spooks wey dey follow you, where linda ikeji today, maybe its bad to date someone without sense buh it will be worst to settle for a hypocrite,

no one sharpens there beak & wail like you now yu know

SimplyFacts:
From my observation, marriage is likely to go extinct soon. I think the practice of feminism is making almost all the ladies of this generation think men are too harsh on them. A quite percentage of them are just too lazy. Thanks to the new-generation-mothers

As if your case is not enough,,,

A wedding slated to hold on Dec.19 is dissolved this week because the lady began to behave weirdly, claimed she has no interest again,,, giving flimsy excuses. We got to know that she just met a rich man (married) who promised to get her a befitting apartment if she could get pregnant for him. Some issues came up & her friend had to divulge all the secrets in retaliation for her betrayal, too. While the groom-to-be still finds it so hard to believe/sleep, she is busy littering her WhatsApp stats with the caption ***we move***.

OP, I hope you get over it ASAP. I'm used to saying one thing; I definitely can't be sad over someone that's happy somewhere. Do you really think she's worth sacrificing your happiness

Life goes on

Guys get rich or die crying for modern Nigerian ladies


What motivates the modern Nigerian single lady into dreaming and praying to find a husband is the promise of luxury and comfort without stress (free luxury apartment, car (s), plenty house helps to serve her while she upload pictures on instagram and Facebook to taunt her single friends, free meals, etc).....once a modern Nigerian woman cannot see or perceive or foresee this comfort from a man she is dating or courting, getting married becomes boring for her and she starts to act up and give flimsy excuses why marriage is not worth it and why marriage is not for everyone.


But let the same lady meet a guy that shows or promises her that excess comfort without stress, she will be the one pressuring him for marriage and even going spiritual about making sure he gets married to her.


Marriage to modern Nigerian women is about comfort without stress, not for building a home together like the previous generation Nigerian women believed.


Once you understand this as a modern Nigerian man, you will never have issue or heartbreak or surprises from any modern lady of today.


There are still some Nigerian ladies who want to build with their future hubby, but they are very few and those type are not usually social media freaks, they are very reserved and family oriented, they keep no or few reasonable friends.


But the wild modern ladies keep a harem of friends they compete with on who flaunts luxury life most, who has the most engaging social media account, who shows off the most luxury life....their personality do sell them off to men of integrity. They are mostly good as babymamas, second or 3rd wives, concubines and flings to successful men, all you young men should leave such ladies for people like

Davash222:
Is this really poco? Unbelievable

My opinion on relationships/marriage have been constant, they are also quite simple. You are only shocked when it favours males. If I made this same comment to a woman, alfa males would have been crying in my mentions.

If he has sense, he deserves the best. If he is a senseless alfa male...oh well.

pocohantas:
My opinion on relationships/marriage have been constant, they are also quite simple. You are only shocked when it favours males. If I made this same comment to a woman, alfa males would have been crying in my mentions.

If he has sense, he deserves the best. If he is a senseless alfa male...oh well.

I’m beginning to love this new poco. Lol

Davash222:
I’m beginning to love this new poco. Lol

There is no new Poco.