₦airaland Forum

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

doris4u:
If that is the only reason she called off the wedding, that means she wasn't really interested in getting married to you.

Innobee99:
U are the first man that's angry for dodging a stray bullet

Innobee99:
U are the first man that's angry for dodging a stray bullet

Innobee99:
U are the first man that's angry for dodging a stray bullet

Confuzedman:
That is the only reason she gave me. she said I expect too much from her in a relationship and she wonders what will happen when we marry

Sometime ago I was having a chat with my friend. He claims to be a strong defender of the patriarchy, but I still consider him one of the most rational Nigerian men. Anyway, he asked me a question;

Him: Is it bad if I EXPECT my wife to cook for me?

Me: NO, I can’t think of any reason that should be bad. I really do hope this answer isn’t because it is an easy thing for me, but heck NO!

Him: Does it make me chauvinist, misogynistic, wicked, entitled?

Me: Lol, Noooooo

I can’t remember everything we discussed, but he said something that struck. He said, what some people call gender roles is more of ACCOUNTABILITY. Someone has to be RESPONSIBLE for something, anything and everything.

I think it is okay to have REALISTIC expectations and even in offices, we have KPIs (the organization's EXPECTATIONS of us). We try hard to meet these expectations, but when it comes to marriage, we sharpen our mouths like a beak and start whining. Yet we wonder why marriages are failing. Why everyone is single but has so much opinion on relationships/marriages- #selflove generation.

These things spur us to be better and as long as they are done with love, respect and mutual interest/understanding, I would never see any wrong in them.

Marry/date people that have sense. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to be one.

Confuzedman:
That is the only reason she gave me. she said I expect too much from her in a relationship and she wonders what will happen when we marry

Confuzedman:
I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help

Openbusiness:
He didn't dodge a stray bullet, he dodged a meteorite bigger than the sun. and the guy is still deliberating on it, maybe he wants problem in his life by force, mtchwwwwwww

Confuzedman:
The thing juz weak me.she is a nice person generally

Confuzedman:
That is the only reason she gave me. she said I expect too much from her in a relationship and she wonders what will happen when we marry

SavageResponse:
She has met another person who she thinks is better than you.

Move on with your life, women full everywhere!

pocohantas:
If all you said is true, permit me to say, your fiancee is not a smart human. She asked how you have been coping before she came? Well, now she is there, she should make herself useful!!

Sometime ago I was having a chat with my friend. He claims to be a strong defender of the patriarchy, but I still consider him one of the most rational Nigerian men. Anyway, he asked me a question;

Him: Is it bad if I EXPECT my wife to cook for me?

Me: NO, I can’t think of any reason that should be bad. I really do hope this answer isn’t because it is an easy thing for me, but heck NO!

Him: Does it make me chauvinist, misogynistic, wicked, entitled?

Me: Lol, Noooooo

I can’t remember everything we discussed, but he said something that struck. He said, what some people call gender roles is more of ACCOUNTABILITY. Someone has to be RESPONSIBLE for something, anything and everything.

I think it is okay to have REALISTIC expectations and even in offices, we have KPIs (the organization's EXPECTATIONS of us). We try hard to meet these expectations, but when it comes to marriage, we sharpen our mouths like a beak and start whining. Yet we wonder why marriages are failing. Why everyone is single but has so much opinion on relationships/marriages- #selflove generation.

These things spur us to be better and as long as they are done with love, respect and mutual interest/understanding, I would never see any wrong in them.

Marry/date people that have sense. Your fiancee doesn’t seem to be one.

Confuzedman:
Thank u.I suspect her friend is influencing her

Confuzedman:
she hasn’t,she is stubborn. She told me hw her ex used to tell her to do those things,i thought he was bugging her, never knew it is this bad

SavageResponse:
Do you really want to complicate your life by marrying someone who you both agree is a stubborn person?!

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that...

Lalasticlala, plz help

Confuzedman:
Thank u.I suspect her friend is influencing her

Justmye26:
There is definitely something else aside from the cooking stuff, cause I see cooking or doing chores for someone she’s getting married to shouldn’t be a big deal...
However, you should try talk to her probably through any of her family members, probably she’s not used to doing stuffs like that.....and please pray about it too, God might be saying something to you through the whole situation...

Wish you the best

Confuzedman:
This is not a fiction, i had to create a new acct for advise. I have been dating my fiancee for over a year, tho it was a long distance stuff. Trouble began when she started visiting regularly. I noticed that whenever she comes, she’ll be reluctant to do certain things. When I get back from work, she will start acting like she is sick, somebody that was online all day. Later she said she doesn't know market,i got someone to buy foodstuffs for her, she still didn’t cook it. Whenever she visits, same story.I decided to have a talk with her over it, can you believe she said I am complaining too much. She asked if I haven’t been eating before she visited. I was heartbroken to hear that from her. As if that wasn’t enough, she said she is not marrying again and she isn’t a housegurl

I called her to talk after work today and she was still giving me attitude. Her friend is saying I was too harsh

Lalasticlala, plz help