toren:
So much wisdom from you, Op. God bless you.

My ex was all of these and so much more. Not an exaggeration. Will continue to regret leaving him hopefully not for the rest of my life.

Can you tell more about him? Abeg

In the time of our parents, what I wrote didn't come off as unreachable, as most men wil score decently on it, can't say the same today. I like when I see men upholding traditional virtues as that is a societal template that have been proven to work.

I hope you find a good man like him again, all the best to you.

Regex:


As much as this thread is for them ladies, as I guy, I've picked more than enough knowledge here.

Guys, check it out too!

I like that you're trying to be a better man

No be only to de yab feminist, men sef need to level up. Na why I de fear that Ashawo thread like mad. Wetin I de read there eh, I shiver.

pansophist:


I like that you're trying to be a better man

No be only to de yab feminist, men sef need to level up. Na why I de fear that Ashawo thread like mad. Wetin I de read there eh, I shiver.

I'm giving it all I have and I'll will die trying. Good read Sensei

pansophist:


Can you tell more about him? Abeg

He was 10 men in 1. A staunch, very happy provider, confident go-getter with a very positive outlook towards life. Too positive for his own good. He'd declare with enthusiastic pleasure, "I know you love me" and I'd marvel in my head, "what kind of guy is this".

He likes to take charge of the problem of others as though they were his, he'd squash them and proffer working solutions. He hated to hear that I was having issues with anything. He'd quickly counter me with his usual response, "that's not a problem".

I'm from Lagos State and schooled in Lagos yet that i served in Lagos is a privilege I owe to this rare gem. He worked my NYSC to Lagos with his mum's influence. The "oga at the top" that helped and I quote her, "just name the organisation you want to serve in, I'll do that for you too".

He was generous. A giver. Open and honest. His integrity level was so high that I could never imagine him lying about anything. His phone was an open book. No girl was calling or chatting neither was he except with me. I may have been the centre of his world. I'm sure I was. He doesn't talk much about these sort of things. He simply was a doer, always actioning his words, never failing on a promise. The big things and little things. Little things like, "I'll call you", rest assured he would. We talked everyday unless we were together.

And when we fight, we'd make up like it never happened. We never carried a grudge to the next day. The way he handled issues with diplomacy and maturity, never involving third parties always awes me.

We were gist partners too, talked about everything and anything. Always teases about how I'm a talkative and in those moments he would quickly nod in agreement to all that I'm bothering him with to keep me from saying more. Lol. Don't mind him. Somebody that used to like my gist. Shebi we used to gossip together. Still calls me his best friend. Insists I'm his first wife.

He took me to meet his family within a year of meeting him. That was my first time in Abuja. Was always expressive about what he wants. What he wants he aims to get. Doesn't take no for an answer. Hardworking. Energetic. He can work any job to get by. In all the years we were together, he never took ill.

Don't even make me talk about his mum. She was gold. I think the love she has for her son, she projected on to me.

Ex and I made decisions about everything together. All that masculine energy, yet wasn't proud. We shopped together.. foodstuff and clothing. He was very assertive and would not let me do anything on my own. He was a superb cook too.

I think he loved me for the mere fact that I existed. Never asking anything in return or expecting much. I don't think he loved me for prospects either. I don't even think I contributed anything significant to his life. Though he would say I made him who he is today. That I "restructured" his life. Me ke? Funny. My ex being who he is, his excessive positivity always makes him see the good in people. I remember how he used to comment about how this and that person is nice. And I'd tell him, "No you can't know that. It's because he doesn't have money yet that's why you think he's nice. Wait let him become rich then come back to tell me he's nice". Lol.

In spite of everything, he got lucky. I don't see why he shouldn't. Posterity just has to be kind to and reward a good man as he. What I'm saying is, he found a good woman and that's all that he deserves. I believe he's happy now or at the least, not too sad. Though compatibility isn't same as was with me, she's just like me, he said. And that whenever he sees his children, he forgets his unhappiness.

Looking back, I see that, on a silver platter, he gave me things I never for a second thought I should place value on. The "emotional and financial security" that was him is second to none. To know that your man will never cheat on you even if you were walking on one feet is the greatest peace of mind a girl can only pray to have.

I also realize now that I may have amplified his flaws in my head. Even traits that were never there I imagined.

@toren, Wow, that is one hell of a rare gem, he embodied the definition of masculinity, and how to love a woman. Was amplifying his fault the reason why you guys broke up? (you do not have to answer), regardless, the tragedy that plagues the youth is naivety, seeing diamonds as a mere rock, and the false delusion of infinite better options, that causes one to trash out what they have, for the hope of something better that may never arrive, the paradox of choice.

About him saying that you restructure him, I think I know what it means., I will try to explain it from a male perspective. You see, when a man loves a woman, she becomes his motivator to be better. Every man has one duty on this planet, and it is to multiply. You may be broke as hell but just multiply. Now imagine a billionaire a hundred years ago without kids, his money will not live after him, and it will be spent by other folks who are successful in spreading their genes.

Women have always been a signifier of a man's value. A graceful woman accords social privileges to a man in the sense that women generally do not lack men, but men generally lack women. Femininity amplifies the masculinity in a man, but masculinity shines out the femininity in a woman. Since you chose him, you have guaranteed that the chance for his gene to be passed into the next generation is certain.

Deep down the male psyche, there is a regulator that is hardwired in the nervous system that signifies his position in the social hierarchy, and a sure way to climb up there is to have a possibility for procreation, of which having a woman makes it certain. And to be chosen by a woman signifies he has a value other men do not possess, hence she chose him. By nature, women need a social situation to find a man attractive. A woman must compare a man with other men, in the context of the society she lives in, to be able to define if a man is worthy enough. He also crowned it all by saying that when he sees his kid, all his sadness disappears, and that is your answer. He is a success in the eyes of nature, and his kids are the result of it.

It is well documented that men become more responsible and motivated to work hard when they become a father, because evolutionary success is actually the real success as far as life is concerned, and material success is merely an aid to make the real success enjoyable. He sees you as a good mother and a partner, hence, you restructure his life in a way that gives a meaning that transcends time and space, and further establishes him as a good potential husband and a father.

Thank you for writing this, I have been keen on reading the tales of good men narrated by women, and you nailed it good. Good to know we still have men that know how to be men, to make women feel loved, raising good families that make society a better place. Gracias.

pansophist:
@toren, Wow, that is one hell of a rare gem, he embodied the definition of masculinity, and how to love a woman. Was amplifying his fault the reason why you guys broke up? (you do not have to answer), regardless, the tragedy that plagues the youth is naivety, seeing diamonds as a mere rock, and the false paradox of infinite better options, that causes one to trash out what they have, for the hope of something better that may never arrive, the paradox of choice.

I always thought he would be this and that once married. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Your writing is apt.

@toren, if I were to summarize your ex's personality in one phrase, it'd be "a cornucopia of positive energy". Almost everyone would love such a person, if it's their true personality.
Well, he's bygone now but every experience in life, presents an opportunity to learn something from and make you better. You need not cry over spilled milk or but look forward with maximum optimism as the power is in your hands to get the best out of life.

But first, try to take off the stereotype. Though he may have been one special guy, know there are many more, each with their uniqueness. Stay hopeful and open to this thought to begin with. Realistically though, these men make up the lesser half of the male population today.
The question is are you going to only hope for another ideal man to chance on your path or are you gonna make sure to attract them? What are you doing to ensure an ideal man would pick you out of all the other ladies? If you read my first comment here, you'd find a key.
Ideal men are not truly attracted to and quickly get dissatisfied with average ladies. They might have a fling with them but they'd only save a ring for women of value.

Here lies your chances. Become that woman that the others wouldn't pay the price to be if you're not already. If you've been building your capacity and expanding your skill set, there's always room for more. If you've not, begin now. Every little step would count. Go through the rigor and pain to conquer your own weaknesses with perseverance else make good excuses and keep them. Make sure you're bringing your dreams to life, one step at a time and making your passion a reality, impacting the society positively, with ever increasing scope. Continuous self-development is your key and the only process that will build the right character into you and the attractive personality to not just the ideal man but the right people altogether. Beauty will always attract men of all sorts but only character forged in the fires of persevering self-development will attract and retain the ideal man.


#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

Good but thats Mr perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BjAxyJIwMY

SpeciMental:
@toren, if I were to summarize your ex's personality in one phrase, it'd be "a cornucopia of positive energy". Almost everyone would love such a person, if it's their true personality.


#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

Oh wow don't know what to say...well, thank you.

I'm not average, ok? "Lesser half of the male population"? That's funny. That's inherently hyperbolic.

Btw, I liked your first response better before you modified. It is to that I responded.

I also wonder why few men commented on this thread, but when I wrote about the traits a woman should possess before a man considers committing to her, the male traffic was damn so much. Everyone is a gangster when it comes to women

CaveAdullam, can you answer this conundrum?

@toren, yes, you can be sure I'm in no position to judge you on "averageness". I think the best judge would be the next ideal man you attract, what do you say?
Best wishes!


@pansophist, when you say a woman who earns the love and appreciation of her man, is a motivation to his achievement drive, you're damn right again.

In this is captured the true and pure feminine power that will always be the treasure of masculine energy, her ability through virtue, character and gracefulness to command the love of a worthy man, rather than the farce of lust by the sexualizing and objectification of her body. It's unfortunate what the feminazi spirit promoted by the liberal West, is doing to women today and in turn, men. And it's substituted for true feminity, a narcissistic female ego trip that only ends in a vicious cycle.

But pure feminity is a receptacle and nursery for masculine energy like hand and glove, giving magnified, clarified expression to masculine splendor through the glass of feminine beauty. And pure masculinity, though self-subsistent, craves the feminine energy as it's only true nursery and succor into which it can infuse it's propulsive energy, its seed sown into the her feminine ground, certain of its fruit.
The behaviour of electric current between opposite potentials exemplifies this perfectly, taking masculine energy as supplier and feminine as receiver.

An ideal man will not undermine the potential of his woman but project his masculine energy into her, making her stronger, more achievement focused and disciplined hence bringing the best out of her, causing in return, an eruption of her natural feminity back to him as gratitude to his worthiness, further motivating him to greater heights, hence creating a continuously expanding eccentric loop of an operatic sport.




As to your question raised to @Caveadullam, well, while we cannot exactly say for sure about the traffic on the thread, we can certainly conclude that while one may loathe the deterioration of general female behaviour in society today, it seems many males on this section of the forum derive some kind of "high" unnecessarily downgrading females. Seems they feel a false sense of superiority in it, due to a latent insecurity, given away in the frivolity of the very posts they create to that effect.

In reality, it's against true masculine energy because in principle, masculine energy never seeks to destroy but only to build. Heck! no gain in kicking a wounded man even.
If one commits to building their lives maximally, they'd see the folly and loss of time in kicking another down.

#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

SpeciMental:
@toren, yes, you can be sure I'm in no position to judge you on "averageness". I think the best judge would be the next ideal man you attract, what do you say?
Best wishes!


#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

I make my own choices as regards relationships, so it's never about the category of men I attract but who I choose. Either way, thanks.

toren:



He was 10 men in 1. A staunch, very happy provider, confident go-getter with a very positive outlook towards life. Too positive for his own good. He'd declare with enthusiastic pleasure, "I know you love me" and I'd marvel in my head, "what kind of guy is this".

He likes to take charge of the problem of others as though they were his, he'd squash them and proffer working solutions. He hated to hear that I was having issues with anything. He'd quickly counter me with his usual response, "that's not a problem".

I'm from Lagos State and schooled in Lagos yet that i served in Lagos is a privilege I owe to this rare gem. He worked my NYSC to Lagos with his mum's influence. The "oga at the top" that helped and I quote her, "just name the organisation you want to serve in, I'll do that for you too".

He was generous. A giver. Open and honest. His integrity level was so high that I could never imagine him lying about anything. His phone was an open book. No girl was calling or chatting neither was he except with me. I may have been the centre of his world. I'm sure I was. He doesn't talk much about these sort of things. He simply was a doer, always actioning his words, never failing on a promise. The big things and little things. Little things like, "I'll call you", rest assured he would. We talked everyday unless we were together.

And when we fight, we'd make up like it never happened. We never carried a grudge to the next day. The way he handled issues with diplomacy and maturity, never involving third parties always awes me.

We were gist partners too, talked about everything and anything. Always teases about how I'm a talkative and in those moments he would quickly nod in agreement to all that I'm bothering him with to keep me from saying more. Lol. Don't mind him. Somebody that used to like my gist. Shebi we used to gossip together. Still calls me his best friend. Insists I'm his first wife.

He took me to meet his family within a year of meeting him. That was my first time in Abuja. Was always expressive about what he wants. What he wants he aims to get. Doesn't take no for an answer. Hardworking. Energetic. He can work any job to get by. In all the years we were together, he never took ill.

Don't even make me talk about his mum. She was gold. I think the love she has for her son, she projected on to me.

Ex and I made decisions about everything together. All that masculine energy, yet wasn't proud. We shopped together.. foodstuff and clothing. He was very assertive and would not let me do anything on my own. He was a superb cook too.

I think he loved me for the mere fact that I existed. Never asking anything in return or expecting much. I don't think he loved me for prospects either. I don't even think I contributed anything significant to his life. Though he would say I made him who he is today. That I "restructured" his life. Me ke? Funny. My ex being who he is, his excessive positivity always makes him see the good in people. I remember how he used to comment about how this and that person is nice. And I'd tell him, "No you can't know that. It's because he doesn't have money yet that's why you think he's nice. Wait let him become rich then come back to tell me he's nice". Lol.

In spite of everything, he got lucky. I don't see why he shouldn't. Posterity just has to be kind to and reward a good man as he. What I'm saying is, he found a good woman and that's all that he deserves. I believe he's happy now or at the least, not too sad. Though compatibility isn't same as was with me, she's just like me, he said. And that whenever he sees his children, he forgets his unhappiness.

Looking back, I see that, on a silver platter, he gave me things I never for a second thought I should place value on. The "emotional and financial security" that was him is second to none. To know that your man will never cheat on you even if you were walking on one feet is the greatest peace of mind a girl can only pray to have.

I also realize now that I may have amplified his flaws in my head. Even trait s that were never there I imagined.

ND u still left him? Had he been he isn't a nice guy maybe u would have married him... Women are never logical and will never be. AWALT CREW

toren:


I make my own choices as regards relationships, so it's never about the category of men I attract but who I choose. Either way, thanks.

Now there, @toren, don't let feminine caprices get the better of you.
Let's bring this back to the frame of pure logic. A thousand times, yes! The circuit is only closed when you're chosen by who you choose, so it's never going to be just about your choosing but also being chosen.

A good way to see this is in the context of career. In Nigeria, think of the number of undergraduates who would choose to work in the oil and gas industry. Out of that great number, the only ones who actually get to work there are those who were chosen by the companies, those who paid the price to become what those companies wanted.
So with relationship, the only woman who gets the ideal man is the one who not only would choose him but who has built herself into becoming what he wants, what will attract him and what he will choose, from his abundant options. The vice-versa is true for the men who want the ideal woman.

Admitting this doesn't make you any weaker but actually gives you the realisation of your power to get what you want.

Once again, best wishes!

#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

SpeciMental:


Admitting this doesn't make you any weaker but actually gives you the realisation of your power to get what you want.

Once again, best wishes!

#Purely mental from your philosophical specimen#

Ok since the two must be judged when they find each other, who will play the judge then, you? Someone has to certify that the right boxes were ticked.

pansophist:
I also wonder why few men commented on this thread, but when I wrote about the traits a woman should possess before a man considers committing to her, the male traffic was damn so much. Everyone is a gangster when it comes to women

CaveAdullam, can you answer this conundrum?

Many people think the redpill in its entirety is about exposing the undercurrents of the female nature, and learning how to finagle their way to get a woman with little encumbrances(Game theory). But the game theory also extends to the male themselves; to understand their own psychological and behavioural make up, in order to propel a successful intersexual relationship.

Majority of the human population are very low in extroversion, always point fingers, see themselves as innocent and good, blame other people for both internal and external errors. We always want to claim victims without carrying out a thorough and internal auditing on ourselves. We want to "just be ourself," and compel others to tolerate our excesses and bullshits. And this is a major problem itself.

On the otherhand, I think many men haven't really contributed or antagonise the post because the post itself is a mirror of the archetypal male for each man to look into, and see his foibles and shortcomings. Maybe they now know that they've been in an effeminate mode for long, and have now seen what it means to be virile. Whichever way, I believe every man that has read this post of yours will definitely align himself, correct his errors, learn lessons and upheave himself to the upper echelons.

If men want to see the resplendency, luminosity and beauty of femininity in a plethora, then, they must from themselves burst out masculinity in its pure form by becoming the archetypal male.

Before any man points to the log of wood in his brother's eyes, he must first remove the speck of sand in his own eyes. Without this, the equation will remain unbalanced, while the the intergender battle lingers.

Becoming the archetypal male is a must.

Thanks.

God bless.

CaveAdullam:


The majority of the human population are very low in extroversion, always points fingers, see themselves as innocent and good, blame other people for both internal and external errors. We always want to claim victims without carrying out thorough and internal auditing on ourselves. We want to "just be ourself," and compel others to tolerate our excesses and bullshits. And this is a major problem itself.

On the other hand, I think many men haven't really contributed or antagonized the post because the post itself is a mirror of the archetypal male for each man to look into, and see his foibles and shortcomings. Maybe they now know that they've been in an effeminate mode for a long, and have now seen what it means to be virile. Whichever way, I believe every man that has read this post of yours will definitely align himself, correct his errors, learn lessons, and upheave himself to the upper echelons. Thanks. God bless.

Exactly what I thought as well. In the very end, I will hold the institutions and positions of power that men have always, from the beginning of time, controlled as being responsible for the societal degradation we have inherited, not women. Women by their very nature are ''second-tier'' integrators and survivors, in the sense that men being the first-tier, survive by conquering the world and designing it to his taste, while women survive by understanding the world men created and integrating into it amorally.

We can blame feminism, gynocentrism, the deregulation of the sexual marketplace, social media, and any scapegoat of choice, but in the end, it is men, NOT WOMEN, that created it. I travel a lot, and so far, I have lived in over five countries, from developed, to mid-developed, to under-developed, and I see how gender interactions and how women behave in all societies differ. My experience shows that any society with a western social outlook (such as Nigeria, India, South Korea) would be a budget version of the social decadence of western society, and a society without it would still be patriarchial (e.g China, Turkey, Albania).

In the end, men are the god of the earth, the enforcer of rule, builder, of civilizations, and symbol of justice. and anything that goes wrong in it is simply men's fault. No other way to slice it.

°°°

Once had a man like this, but I lost him
Couldn't bring myself to love him like he wanted me to

Misslilbootay:
°°°

Once had a man like this, but I lost him
Couldn't bring myself to love him like he wanted me to

Now imagine that this (you not finding a good/masculine man attractive, aka feeling-based attraction) may be one of the reasons arranged marriage was a thing back then, and still a thing in many parts of the world (e.g India).

Food for thought.

pansophist:


Now imagine that this (you not finding a good/masculine man attractive, aka feeling-based attraction) may be one of the reasons arranged marriage was a thing back then, and still a thing in many parts of the world (e.g India).

Food for thought.

You are right but I can't stay with someone I dont have an iota of feelings for. A better girl who will love him for who he is will find him or he will find her.

pansophist:
@toren, Wow, that is one hell of a rare gem, he embodied the definition of masculinity, and how to love a woman. Was amplifying his fault the reason why you guys broke up? (you do not have to answer), regardless, the tragedy that plagues the youth is naivety, seeing diamonds as a mere rock, and the false delusion of infinite better options, that causes one to trash out what they have, for the hope of something better that may never arrive, the paradox of choice.

About him saying that you restructure him, I think I know what it means., I will try to explain it from a male perspective. You see, when a man loves a woman, she becomes his motivator to be better. Every man has one duty on this planet, and it is to multiply. You may be broke as hell but just multiply. Now imagine a billionaire a hundred years ago without kids, his money will not live after him, and it will be spent by other folks who are successful in spreading their genes.

Women have always been a signifier of a man's value. A graceful woman accords social privileges to a man in the sense that women generally do not lack men, but men generally lack women. Femininity amplifies the masculinity in a man, but masculinity shines out the femininity in a woman. Since you chose him, you have guaranteed that the chance for his gene to be passed into the next generation is certain.

Deep down the male psyche, there is a regulator that is hardwired in the nervous system that signifies his position in the social hierarchy, and a sure way to climb up there is to have a possibility for procreation, of which having a woman makes it certain. And to be chosen by a woman signifies he has a value other men do not possess, hence she chose him. By nature, women need a social situation to find a man attractive. A woman must compare a man with other men, in the context of the society she lives in, to be able to define if a man is worthy enough. He also crowned it all by saying that when he sees his kid, all his sadness disappears, and that is your answer. He is a success in the eyes of nature, and his kids are the result of it.

It is well documented that men become more responsible and motivated to work hard when they become a father, because evolutionary success is actually the real success as far as life is concerned, and material success is merely an aid to make the real success enjoyable. He sees you as a good mother and a partner, hence, you restructure his life in a way that gives a meaning that transcends time and space, and further establishes him as a good potential husband and a father.

Thank you for writing this, I have been keen on reading the tales of good men narrated by women, and you nailed it good. Good to know we still have men that know how to be men, to make women feel loved, raising good families that make society a better place. Gracias.

Well said.
Perhaps the overflowing love he poured out for her made her feel too special, thinking she will easily find another diamond like the guy, now she’s regretting. I hope she learnt her lessons and make all efforts to keep the next diamond that comes her way if she’s fortunate enough. Though I don’t condone cheating on the part of both men and women, she could have forgiven him if it was a one-time thing and he was really remorseful about it with a promise to never indulge in it again instead of breaking up with him.

maak400:

Well said.
Perhaps the overflowing love he poured out for her made her feel too special, thinking she will easily find another diamond like the guy, now she’s regretting. I hope she learnt her lessons and make all efforts to keep the next diamond that comes her way if she’s fortunate enough. Though I don’t condone cheating on the part of both men and women, she could have forgiven him if it was a one-time thing and he was really remorseful about it with a promise to never indulge in it again instead of breaking up with him.

I didn't say he cheated. He never did. Never will. You're mixing things up.

toren:


I didn't say he cheated. He never did. Never will. You're mixing things up.

Sorry I didn’t get the gist well. What was the main reason you broke up with him? Anyways, all the best in your future relationship.

Pansophist, I dreamt that you wrote a book and that you cashed out like mad. My dreams don't fail. Hearken unto my voice. You need to write a book.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Pansophist, I dreamt that you wrote a book and that you cashed out like mad. My dreams don't fail. Hearken unto my voice. You need to write a book.

I will. Thank you.

But I'm broke, will you sponsor ?

Abeg

I need a woman that will lead and push me to heaven. I want a woman that will sing and all heaven will be let lose.

A woman that will pray and heaven will stand still.

A woman who is heaven conscious and had good attitude. She must be very beautiful as well.

If you are that woman see my signature. Not kidding with my request.

pansophist:


I will. Thank you.

But I'm broke, will you sponsor ?

Abeg

How much do you need, dear?

newinventions:
I need a woman that will lead and push me to heaven. I want a woman that will sing and all heaven will be let lose.

A woman that will pray and heaven will stand still.

A woman who is heaven conscious and had good attitude. She must be very beautiful as well.

If you are that woman see my signature. Not kidding with my request.

You're looking for uyaiIncomparabl

She is fine, a Christian, but get small stubbornness sha, but about singing, I don't know lol. Anyways, you suppose like am.

Now the question is, are you deserving of her?

UyaiIncomparabl:


How much do you need, dear?

How much can you afford? Serious

newinventions:
I need a woman that will lead and push me to heaven. I want a woman that will sing and all heaven will be let lose.

A woman that will pray and heaven will stand still.

A woman who is heaven conscious and had good attitude. She must be very beautiful as well.

If you are that woman see my signature. Not kidding with my request.

And you, what will you be bringing to the table?

I hope you are deserving of this woman that you seek? For you to want these attributes in a woman, you must as well surpass or be at par with what you seek.

pansophist:


How much can you afford? Serious

I don't want to expose my net worth on this forum. Just mention. If I can afford it, I will let you know.

pansophist:


You're looking for uyaiInco.mparabl

She is fine, a Christian, but get small stubbornness sha, but about singing, I don't know lol. Anyways, you suppose like am.

Now the question is, are you deserving of her?

Fenks for the referral, Pansophist.

Now, thank you for asking him that question. Is he deserving of me? Making heaven is my goal and I will make sure to help him achieve this, too.

PS: I am a very GOOD singer!