₦airaland Forum

Marriage is an achievement and giving birth is the greatest achievement

If you are in doubt, try it !

hashtagged:
No they are not achievements they are liabilities

Same way you have been a liability to your parents, correct?
When you talk, do you consider the implications? Except you have been miserable throughout your life, then I can understand your resentment at being given birth to.
Also, if your parents complained all through your growing up years that you were a liability and a burden to them, I can then have a clearer picture as to why you think children are liabilities.
Further, if you're a broke ass and miserly and the idea of raising up and sharing whatever earthly things you have with kids you could sire fills you with dismay, then I might appreciate your stance.

Are you any of those?

Even wealthy people who decide not to have kids do adopt children and give them the best things in life.

BadRadio:
Some live to harness themselves for it.

Some would set no other goal & do nothing else but look forward to the excitement of being married.

For a man or a woman, Is marriage and having kids an achievement?

When a man or a woman decides by choice not to have kids or get married, does it in anyway affect them?

What are the core importance of being married or getting married.

Is having children paramount in marriage?

Anything that is celebrated is an achievement: be it positive or negative.

Nevertheless it's a positive achievement because if there was no marriage, you and I would not be here commenting on front page.

Whether anyone should marry or marry without having kids is left for the couple concerned to decide and is a function of their choice.

Raychee:
Achievement is subjective. What is good for Chinedu might be bad for Biodun.

Those taking davido and wizkid as their role models, well done! Obviously we know the age range. Una never see life. You know how much they pay in child support to several mothers every month? Obviously we're still kids and not thinking straight. Just need a couple of years to change your orientation.

If marriage doesn't work for you it's no big deal.
Just prepare yourself for your old age that's if you even make it to that point. I haven't seen single old men around. Probably a widower but not a single man.
Either your loneliness kills you, your reckless life or a young pretty lady hooks you down for your money and poisons you slowly to death.
If you're going to be single, make it worth it. Make an impact in your society and help as many people as you can. So you can have people to love you in your later days. And not being single with the messed up mentality of chasing different women about.

While you have made good points, you should also understand that children cannot continue to stay with their parents for the rest of their lives esp as many young Nigerians plan to or desire to japa. Many parents in Nigeria would have a considerable number of their children residing abroad implying they would be left with their partners. Also, with the distance people give extended families due to one reason or the other, how do future parents cope? Now, what about those who divorced? Or are we implying no marriage will experience divorce/separation?

I ask these questions because you seem to hinge the aspect of marriage on having children who would be available to cater for their parents during old age and assuming all marriages will continue forever.

hashtagged:
No they are not achievements they are liabilities

Are you a liability to your parents?

Speak for yourself alone. Some are assets and blessings but it's not actually the question op asked.

And some empty skulls will be using davido, wiskid, olamide etc as their reference points now because some of our youth do not know real success.
Even the rich are also crying.

Seyzcham91:
haha! right about that

Na this part(Africa) of the world we put am for head like Dreadlock, For Europe and USA, dem no care and thats why you see People of 60, 70 and above being single, never married and no kids

And they told you, they are happy with their decision..

Abi nah you dey conclude for them.

Marriage is the oldest institution on earth,older than both the church and the Bible. To some it's been a blessing, while a nightmare to others. When you see it as part of your responsibility as a man, the better. It's for men not boys. Age is not a function here as we still have boys at the age of 50. Personally I used to be a slow hustler before getting married, but this increased after the marriage as I knew kids were coming. In a bid to satisfy my woman and kids to live a little above the poverty line, God blessed us with properties.

gunners160:
Marriage is an achievement to a Lady and to most men a liability. Whenever a man should propose to a lady, the first thing you see is she is crying or shouting out of excitement. She starts flaunting and making paparazzi out of the engagement ring because she has seen some one who has helped her in accomplishing a goal. Just like the feeling of building a house

in addition to this,marriage to a woman is like a childhood fantasy come true. Ever since she was little, she has been made to belief she is a Queen and special so there is a Mr Knight somewhere who will one day marry her and fulfill all her fantasy.
.
A man looks for financial independence before getting married but a woman crave for good shape and a good dress sense before getting married. She knows all what she needs is a man who can shoulder her responsibilities. that is why men get married late while women get married so early. You hear words like " i need a rich man even though he is ugly"

Also, marriage to a woman is a respect on its own. She is given respect both in and outside her home. At church she is called madam, at work she is called a Mrs and at the society she is called a mother

Finally marriage can be an achievement and also a liability depending who u end up with. they either destroy you or makedo

flesh and blood did not reveal this to you... �
I need no liability pligs

internationalman:
After achieving everything in the world without a family, then you would know that kids are the biggest achievement of all...

Even though I'm scared of marriage but the feeling I get when my babe is sleeping over is enriching. I sometimes wonder how it would feel when this sleeping over happens everyday...

Oga please goan marry!!!!

Gerrard59:
Achievement is subjective, what you consider an achievement might be meaningless to the next person and vice versa. Also, what constitutes as "achievements" differs across age groups and changes as people grow old.

You are proving your own theory about achievement but in Africa and culturally, there's nothing to compare reproduction and continuity.
You can be blessed with physical possession and pass it to your children.
In summary, life is made to be revolving, from generation to generation.

Judybash93:
Define achievement please

Attainment, reaching, gaining, acquirement...feel free to add to d list.

My question still stands:

"Does that mean marriage & having kids aren't achievements?"

Seyzcham91:
leaving dictionary meaning

You can make a choice and it either favors you or not

when a choice favors you, you call it avhievement and when it doesn't, what do you call that?

thats more reason i said that point

and i am sure you also understand my bone of contention but to save us the argument

lets just marriage and having kids is an achievement, PERIOD!

Why should I leave dictionary meaning? Is it because it negates ur argument? What is now d basis of u defining a word if we can't make reference to it's dicty meaning? How can u take a word& give it ur own meaning & then u expect to make sense?

U are d one who brought choice into d discussion by saying that marriage & having kids isn't an achievement because it involves choice. My questions which u failed to answer are:

What is achievement in d dictionary? Do u achieve anything without making a choice to achieve that thing? How can u separate achievement & choice?

sircatherine45:
Bros, mention 100 married men in your community who has achieved more than Albert Eistein or Nikolai Tesla, and I'll deactivate my Nairaland account, forever!!!

you just mentioned two married people with kids.

internationalman:
After achieving everything in the world without a family, then you would know that kids are the biggest achievement of all...

Even though I'm scared of marriage but the feeling I get when my babe is sleeping over is enriching. I sometimes wonder how it would feel when this sleeping over happens everyday...

Bros e go Taya you. Hmm. I tell you

gunners160:
are u married? No. so chilax.
in every marriage dhr is always the fantasy stage, excitement stage, decline stage and Restoration stage. Don't conclude yet , you never start. It takes couple with a will to pass and conquer these stages not just by typing

bros leave that kid, na small boy him be

That thing marriage scares me.

My greatest achievement! Seeing my baby girl and beautiful and curvy wife always makes me happy. It involves taking responsibility though.

internationalman:
After achieving everything in the world without a family, then you would know that kids are the biggest achievement of all...

There are a lot of happy people who never got married and/or never had kids. They are happier than millions of people with wives/husbands and/or kids.

Gone are the days when your achievements are based on if you can or how many offsprings you can produce.

Nothing can substitute a family love either your children , a geniue wife and brothers. After all we are all craving for love from the society we leaves in, at our place of work and everywhere we go. No body want to be hate even if you are criminal. Therefore if everything falls in place marriage and children can be considered as achievement.

Westernization and trying to be politically correct has made people claim self inflicted curses and hard lucks.


For goodness sakes this is Africa,
Here marriage and children are great achievements, especially when you have the wisdom and grace to train them and to give them the best of life you can afford.

Most people here are sounding like marriage and children are liabilities. Never take a word of my fellow woman who missed her time chasing community chief pocket instead of, education, personal development and possibly pursuing career and eventually settles with a man who now becomes her backbone to help her balance career and family.

After the blessings of Gen 1:28 the next visible and tangible blessing in the scriptures is the blessings of family.

Most people especially my fellow ladies are afraid of responsibility and the burden of submitting to a man who will ask they whereabouts, how do you get that ? Who call?

Continue with your marriage and children are not success by 55 -60 your language will change
.

That’s how one of my aunty anytime she sends for us if we didn’t go on time she will start crying is it because she didn’t marry and have kids.

Time will tell.

internationalman:
After achieving everything in the world without a family, then you would know that kids are the biggest achievement of all...

Even though I'm scared of marriage but the feeling I get when my babe is sleeping over is enriching. I sometimes wonder how it would feel when this sleeping over happens everyday...

Total BS.

Life is personal.

Success is personal

Fulfillment is personal.

Stop projecting your idea of achievement on other people.

You Africans and your unending hypocrisy and ignorance.

Bleh!

vickydankal:
Westernization and trying to be politically correct has made people claim self inflicted curses and hard lucks.


For goodness sakes this is Africa,
Here marriage and children are great achievements, especially when you have the wisdom and grace to train them and to give them the best of life you can afford.

Most people here are sounding like marriage and children are liabilities. Never take a word of my fellow woman who missed her time chasing community chief pocket instead of, education, personal development and possibly pursuing career and eventually settles with a man who now becomes her backbone to help her balance career and family.

After the blessings of Gen 1:28 the next visible and tangible blessing in the scriptures is the blessings of family.

Most people especially my fellow ladies are afraid of responsibility and the burden of submitting to a man who will ask they whereabouts, how do you get that ? Who call?

Continue with your marriage and children are not success by 55 -60 your language will change
.

That’s how one of my aunty anytime she sends for us if we didn’t go on time she will start crying is it because she didn’t marry and have kids.

Time will tell.

So I guess you hope to live in this shithole forever then?

The world is now a global village and has left you behind in your awkward thinking.

May any prayers you have to leave Nigeria for any developed country never be answered.

Amen?

yes i had to separate Achievement and Choice

cuz when a choice favors you it's called Achievement and when it doesn't it's called Failure

which means we can't solely base Achievent on a Choice since it comes with Two Outcomes

lexy2014:
Why should I leave dictionary meaning? Is it because it negates ur argument? What is now d basis of u defining a word if we can't make reference to it's dicty meaning? How can u take a word& give it ur own meaning & then u expect to make sense?

U are d one who brought choice into d discussion by saying that marriage & having kids isn't an achievement because it involves choice. My questions which u failed to answer are:

What is achievement in d dictionary? Do u achieve anything without making a choice to achieve that thing? How can u separate achievement & choice?

Gerrard59:
While you have made good points, you should also understand that children cannot continue to stay with their parents for the rest of their lives esp as many young Nigerians plan to or desire to japa. Many parents in Nigeria would have a considerable number of their children residing abroad implying they would be left with their partners. Also, with the distance people give extended families due to one reason or the other, how do future parents cope? Now, what about those who divorced? Or are we implying no marriage will experience divorce/separation?

I ask these questions because you seem to hinge the aspect of marriage on having children who would be available to cater for their parents during old age and assuming all marriages will continue forever.

The inherent selfishness in all their explanations.

So dumb man.

So people who had kids and lost them?

People whose kids are grown and far from the parents?

In Africa, people give birth as a form of insurance and with the mentality that their kids must take care of them in latter stages of life.

In developed countries it's the other way round.

Parents have kid and try to ensure they are set up for life.

We need to move with the rest of the world, all these archaic thinking hasn't done anyone any good.

TheRealestGuy:
So I guess you hope to live in this shithole forever then?

The world is now a global village and has left you behind in your awkward thinking.

May any prayers you have to leave Nigeria for any developed country never be answered.

Amen?

My dear I could be leaving your fantasy you know lol leaving Nigeria is not the answer your problem.

vickydankal:
My dear I could be leaving your fantasy you know lol leaving Nigeria is not the answer your problem.

Yea, everyone can claim shiit on Obasanjo's internet.

I guess your (imaginary) father is richer than Otedola whose children live abroad and mostly just visit Nigeria.

Kmt.

Seyzcham91:
yes i had to separate Achievement and Choice

cuz when a choice favors you it's called Achievement and when it doesn't it's called Failure

which means we can't solely base Achievent on a Choice since it comes with Two Outcomes

What therefore is an achievement according to d dictionary? Can u achieve anything without making a choice?

Donpenny:
Nothing can substitute a family love either your children , a geniue wife and brothers. After all we are all craving for love from the society we leaves in, at our place of work and everywhere we go. No body want to be hate even if you are criminal. Therefore if everything falls in place marriage and children can be considered as achievement.

So far so good as I've read from every comments....

I think this is just the most satisfying answer to our topic of discussion....

Nice one boss....

TheRealestGuy:
Yea, everyone can claim shiit on Obasanjo's internet.

I guess your (imaginary) father is richer than Otedola whose children live abroad and mostly just visit Nigeria.

Kmt.

I thought we were talking about our lives?
For Otedola are you one of his children?

vickydankal:
I thought we were talking about our lives?
For Otedola are you one of his children?

Our lives

When cancer hits you then you'll know how much the country sucks.

Your next line would be "God forbid", the usual Nigerian BS yarn.

vickydankal:
Westernization and trying to be politically correct has made people claim self inflicted curses and hard lucks.


For goodness sakes this is Africa,
Here marriage and children are great achievements, especially when you have the wisdom and grace to train them and to give them the best of life you can afford.

Most people here are sounding like marriage and children are liabilities. Never take a word of my fellow woman who missed her time chasing community chief pocket instead of, education, personal development and possibly pursuing career and eventually settles with a man who now becomes her backbone to help her balance career and family.

After the blessings of Gen 1:28 the next visible and tangible blessing in the scriptures is the blessings of family.

Most people especially my fellow ladies are afraid of responsibility and the burden of submitting to a man who will ask they whereabouts, how do you get that ? Who call?

Continue with your marriage and children are not success by 55 -60 your language will change
.

That’s how one of my aunty anytime she sends for us if we didn’t go on time she will start crying is it because she didn’t marry and have kids.

Time will tell.

So by inference, if one doesn't get married or have kids they have failed in the marriage aspect of life?