₦airaland Forum

Oyiboman69:
I guess you didn't read where she stated where he gives her head...

I read it. He gave head but didn't penetrate.

bukatyne:
25yrs to 36yrs?

Babes why?

A 36yr old guy (almost 40?) to your young self?

Maybe my bias speaking here.

Anyways, good you came out of it and Bobo is a gamer, forget all the years and apology.

He probably realized you would not give up sex soon that's why he jumped to the next person.

@family welcoming you: some families are legit useless and immoral. Or since they are Muslims, he told them he wants to marry you.

Ask your friends what they saw in him then you can pick the logical stuffs for further learning.

Good luck.

if 36 to 25 meets you with a shock. How older should a man be than his wife?

Its not medically advisable to marry a girl who is up to 28 because the probability of child bearing is about 20% at that stage. Menopause has come down to the age of 35. A 30 years old lady is already too close to menopause.

So for a man who is 36, what age would you advice he goes for.

Oyiboman69:
I guess you didn't read where she stated where he gives her head...

I read it. He gave head but didn't penetrate.

alizma:
Don't respond to every post. There a many children on nairaland.

Pot calling kette black. You that's talking, aren't u a child?

Oyiboman69:
I guess you didn't read where she stated where he gives her head...

I read it. He gave head but didn't penetrate. It takes only a gentle man to give you head without penetrating you.

mrblessed:
The objective of this thread is exactly what? To celebrate an epic escape from the lion's den? Or to form a coalition of angry females on nairaland to bash men. Men and women encounter such people every day, who conceal their marital status from the opposite sex. In your case, the honeypot was not touched. That shows the man is not a gamer.

You are obviously disillusioned because the fantasies in your head exploded with the realisation of his marital status. Hey, you wrote he is a Muslim, that means he can married one than one wife. Despite his obvious fib, I think you ended the relationship in a huff, despite his sincere and heartfelt apologies.

You said it all.

Heartbrokengirl:
The objective of this thread is to tell people some signs to watch out for. They are always there.

So far the men have been the ones bashing, says a lot about who the coalition of angry ones are.

He is a muslim, but I am sure Islam doesn’t encourage polygamy by deception. He should have made it clear he is a muslim and married, let me make the choice to be a second wife.

I hope you get the “objective” now.

He might be too afraid to loose you, at the end his able to speak against his conscience.

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

Its well. Be strong dear.

God will give you a better man.

Heartbrokengirl:
Would have been better if I did this...unfortunately, he was the one that deceived me.

if you want to date again, I'm available and unmarried. you tall pass me sha. my height is 5"11 without shoes.

PrinceMajestic:
how some foolish adults believe this girl was not banged is surprising. no girl is descent, I m not a descent guy but I'm very principled but I never hid the fact that I love bitches who re sincere and proud of themselves. not you coming to tell adults a married man sucked u without f*ckin you. it takes foolishness to believe huge load of cum wasn't deposited in you regarding this Indecency story

We didn’t. That was one thing that made me trust him more. I concluded he is different

Adlac:
He might be too afraid to loose you, at the end his able to speak against his conscience.

Lolzzz. Glad his conscience worked

femi4:
Some ladies are fool, how can a 36yrs old , working class man with a car be single

Lol. Don't mind her. She got entangled with d look and height, so threw caution into wind.

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

Oloshoos everywhere causing problem everywhere. I wonder what the moral lesson of this epistle is. Nollywood should give you a call.

*spits***

Some men are like that. They are married and they keep deceiving single girl in relationship. Deceiving them for years in relationship. Some when they are tire of what to clear their conscience and still continue they tell the truth believing the lady will continue same. The wise one will dump him the once that want to teach him a lesson will. In all such men a wicked and they deserve the pit of hell.

He's description fit my friend, but this one has only been married for 6 -7 years.
The guy is so cool, most ladies loves him, I have never seen a lady say No to him, I pray you shouldn't meet him.

That guy is cute, tall , handsome, rich, intelligent , humble soft spoken with great sense of fashion , big boy appearance, modest too...
Also doing great in his career..

Heartbrokengirl:
We didn’t. That was one thing that made me trust him more. I concluded he is different

that's quite a principled man as I am. Its quiet a huge turn off to me if a lady says no sex. I immediately quit any further physical contacts with her till she leaves we will only discuss with no touching because I get so turned off if my sexual advances are rejected. so its more of a principle, its his principle and should not have been enough reason to trust him, u really seem so inexperienced but its good u didn't let a married man take what he didn't deserve.

I want to follow the logic in what you have written about your experience.

1. He confirmed to you he is married.
2. He introduced you to 3 of his family members
3. He never had penetrative sex with you.

Logic 1
Any man could tell you this to put an end to relationship especially after having carnal knowledge of the lady. But in this case, he has not.

Logic 2
Introducing you to his family members means something is actually wrong with the relationship between him and his wife or better still, the family wanted him to marry another wife because his religion allows marrying more than one wife.

Logic 3
Not having penetrative sex with you was not at your refusal (I guess I am correct) because I am of the opinion that you could not have stopped him if he wanted.
Almost every man wants to have carnal knowledge of a lady irrespective of feeling ( love or fantasy). Choosing to be decent speaks volume about his personality.

My Submission
My view on logic 3 over rules logic 1. The submission in logic 2 is possible especially if he has challenge in his marriage. Because of his personality, he is looking for someone that would accept him not minding his marital status.

The plan for your marital life has to come to play. You are the sole person that can decide where you want to be.
My humble advice - Fnd your own man prayerfully because he belongs to someone.

Heartbrokengirl:
We never had penetrative sex, I have never had penetrative sex. The messages are from our past chat, I only cleared the chat after creating this thread. I have not set my eyes on him since then. He has called with other numbers, but that has been it.

Plz, you can reserve the “hoe” tag for your loved ones if it is such a pleasant name. Using it randomly on people you do not know is a not a sign of good upbringing.

You guys here are all about the dick, dick is everywhere, but I have lived 25yrs of my life without it and I didn’t die. I was only hurt he lied to me and led me on. Some of us are trusting. I know people that would have ransacked his house and social media pages, but I didn’t do that. I am not even on Facebook and Instagram. He preyed on the fact that I am quite private and trusting, direct your misgivings to him!!

You sound like my type of woman tho? And I ain't married, trust me.

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

Let me say a few things based on your write up.

The relationship was ended by the guy the moment he made up his mind to tell you the truth about his marital status. He was already done and was only willing to continue with you if your are ready to be a sidechick. And that is why he broke the news when he did.

Ladies of nowadays have big dreams about men they are ready to date. They meet potential husbands daily but are always quick to randomly assess them as not qualified or not up to standard but always give green light to the randomly qualified ones who are usually made and taken! This is exactly what happened to you. Married men have certain features which attracts ladies and they avoid countless ladies on a daily basis because of their wives but are not always able to do that at all times for different reasons. Married women too go through this temptations but are more able to control it.
Going forward, you need to first realize your mistake to avoid a repeat. I won't say lower your standard but pls have an open mind especially as per physical and financial status. That way you will be less susceptible to married men. And when next you meet someone that is too good!!!! I won't say run but SHINE YOUR EYES!!!!! So that you will be the one to figure things out on time.

Heartbrokengirl:
We never had penetrative sex, I have never had penetrative sex. The messages are from our past chat, I only cleared the chat after creating this thread. I have not set my eyes on him since then. He has called with other numbers, but that has been it.

Plz, you can reserve the “hoe” tag for your loved ones if it is such a pleasant name. Using it randomly on people you do not know is a not a sign of good upbringing.

You guys here are all about the dick, dick is everywhere, but I have lived 25yrs of my life without it and I didn’t die. I was only hurt he lied to me and led me on. Some of us are trusting. I know people that would have ransacked his house and social media pages, but I didn’t do that. I am not even on Facebook and Instagram. He preyed on the fact that I am quite private and trusting, direct your misgivings to him!!

what!

Zzor:
I don't know if it's witchcraft but once I see a married man, I will know, one wanted to deceive me here but I kept insisting that he's a married man and when he noticed I was so sure, he owned up lol.Ladies should learn to take their time before jumping on this species of men we have around these days, don't fall for what he's telling you now after he's done the deed or were you expecting him to tell you that he's happy to have slept with you and he's done? ladies should stop falling for that yeye talk, all those niceties he's forming now and you are buying it too was all part of the game. I'm waiting for that man that will come and deceive me,by the time you exhaust your energy, you will surely take a voluntary exit. Make I go chop jare

Mumu.... U never jam yet. Be forming voltron there. Na people like u we dey chop and clean mouth with ease

uncleck:
I read it. He gave head but didn't penetrate. It takes only a gentle man to give you head without penetrating you.

I'm surprised on how you could separate MouthAction from sex and later celebrate men who do one and and ignore the other...

If it is not clout chasing or validation, why are you telling us?
This is a deeply private matter so why do we have to know?
You even brought chats
Nawa o.

Heartbrokengirl:
I am not buying anything, the chat is from months back.

Some of us are quite introverted, we don’t know these things and people capitalize on it to play us. Two of my friends told me he would hurt me. I kept asking him questions and he kept twisting details. I met 3 of his family members and they didn’t say anything, they were welcoming. I guess they all want him to remarry and felt he has told me he is married.

If u feel they all want him to remarry, then whats ur problem with that
You are too full of yourself

Oyiboman69:
I'm surprised on how you could separate MouthAction from sex and later celebrate men who do one and and ignore the other...

well, ideally, giving head is sexual immorality, but I'm a realist. Most of the women you celebrate as virgins take head regularly, yet we call them virgins. So as long as he didn't penetrate her, the girl will continue to parade herself as a virgin and the man cannot be charged with rape

sophy17:
Let me say a few things based on your write up.

The relationship was ended by the guy the moment he made up his mind to tell you the truth about his marital status. He was already done and was only willing to continue with you if your are ready to be a sidechick. And that is why he broke the news when he did.

Ladies of nowadays have big dreams about men they are ready to date. They meet potential husbands daily but are always quick to randomly assess them as not qualified or not up to standard but always give green light to the randomly qualified ones who are usually made and taken! This is exactly what happened to you. Married men have certain features which attracts ladies and they avoid countless ladies on a daily basis because of their wives but are not always able to do that at all times for different reasons. Married women too go through this temptations but are more able to control it.
Going forward, you need to first realize your mistake to avoid a repeat. I won't say lower your standard but pls have an open mind especially as per physical and financial status. That way you will be less susceptible to married men. And when next you meet someone that is too good!!!! I won't say run but SHINE YOUR EYES!!!!! So that you will be the one to figure things out on time.

I don’t have high expectations, the person I dated before him was nothing like him in looks and finance, but I loved and respected him till his father said his son would never marry me for religious reasons. I started keeping to myself and avoided social gatherings.

Apart from his looks and his caring nature, he was the average man. He is definitely not richer than my senior colleagues who ask me out daily.

Our first conversation was intriguing, I decided to let my guard down and be friendly again. My mistake wasn’t my standard, my mistake was being carried away with love and trust not to check. My mistake was avoiding all the warnings

Heartbrokengirl:
We never had penetrative sex, I have never had penetrative sex. The messages are from our past chat, I only cleared the chat after creating this thread. I have not set my eyes on him since then. He has called with other numbers, but that has been it.

You're somewhat like I. I'm so private and mind my business a lot. I don't do social media glam and don't know how to follow celebrities. I've never been on Linda Ikeji's blog. The only two celebs I follow are C. Ronaldo and one French actress like that. My FB posts since I joined many years ago can't be up to 50. It shocks me to find some NL users have up to 1000 posts. LIke how do they do it? What do they write about? Lol.

Btw, pay no mind to people telling you the guy is nice. There's nothing nice about a deceitful person. He's a liar and betrayer of all sorts. A cheat who wants to eat his cake and have it.

madgoat:
If u feel they all want him to remarry, then whats ur problem with that
You are too full of yourself

Was that necessary?

Heartbrokengirl:
I understand marriage could be complicated, I have heard and read stories. If you read my post, you will see my major problem is the deception. He took me out to many places and some felt I was aware of his marital status...whereas I wasn’t. He said he knew I wouldn’t continue if I knew he was married, so he couldn’t tell me. Was that fair to me??

Can you imagine how painful it is giving your all to someone, only for her to tell you she is married? It is more painful because I asked and he lied to me.

the good thing is you ve learn your lesson. Nobody is perfect

It's fine. Someday, I'll get it right

Chii59:
Aww. Sorry

bukatyne:
25yrs to 36yrs?

Babes why?

A 36yr old guy (almost 40?) to your young self?

Maybe my bias speaking here.

Anyways, good you came out of it and Bobo is a gamer, forget all the years and apology.

He probably realized you would not give up sex soon that's why he jumped to the next person.

@family welcoming you: some families are legit useless and immoral. Or since they are Muslims, he told them he wants to marry you.

Ask your friends what they saw in him then you can pick the logical stuffs for further learning.

Good luck.

Mama de mama, if you discourage ripe ladies in their twenties from marrying men of advanced age like me who're still looking for an under 80 to marry, it means some of us will be leaving this world without offspring. Age in particular and its gap in general are just ordinary numbers in things of the heart abeg. Lol.

It's just me finding out that I've been on my own

Juliearth:
Uh lordy lord!!! Mind shedding more light?