₦airaland Forum

QuintessentialW:
Everyone needs discernment in this life. There are so many pitfalls. The married man who'll ensnare me hasn't been born.

Chai.. see confident tone...

I Wish you really confident like this in real life.... trust me it's an added advantage

He is infatuated with you. He does not truly love you. Love takes time. I'm pretty sure he was madly "in love" (infatuated) with his wife before getting married, and before she became "bad". To be honest, I don't think he'll make a good partner. A lot of people are saying that he is a good man, but I don't buy it. Maybe to some extent, but what makes you think that if you should end up with him, you won't become "bad" too?

Anyway, I'm glad that you've let him go. I hope you find true love.

DMerciful:
His only crime I see is that he deceived you but falling for you the first time and ignoring the fact that he is married to approach you might be beyond his control. Its possible he and his wife are no longer in a happy relationship hence her being abroad leaving him here. A man needs a woman he can love however you're to decent not to marry your own man 100%. You limit yourself by looking for a good man with all those qualities you highlighted including being taller than you.

To wholely love someone for 5 months and breakup is better than being with someone for 10yrs without love. That 5months will make you know how love feels and prepare you to look for someone you can love as much. If I were you I can only miss it but never regret it happened,
some people never experienced love!

I wasn’t looking for someone taller, my ex wasn’t taller and we did well together. The married guy only happened to be taller and I liked it. Should I lie about that? Is there anyone that hates good thing?

It was good to experience him. We made good memories. I regret making those memories with someone’s husband, lolzz

Heartbrokengirl:
Oh my God!!! I just checked, he is Libra!!! No, I don’t want to believe zodiac nonsense. He told me his birthday is “ending” of September

So you can see that zodiac juju works like I said

Your own birthday, is on the 6th, those born on the 6th or 15th or 24th of any month are usually venusian, they love the finer things in life, beauty, beautiful people, houses, environments on general, they love comfort, money, luxury, romance, charming behaviour; both receiving and giving, they love good food, they are on search of the perfect romance or perfect relationship or person and they hate to see the ugly side of the world or people. They are very refined and they look for refinement in others. They also tend to be gluttons


You in particular are a very passive person and you can be very lazy and unmotivated. You seem to float through life not caring about a lot of things and living inside your head.

Am I right or am I right?

When you saw the pity look from other ladies, you should have ran!! That look mean he is known heart breaker. He did to you what he did to other girls. Let you know the real deal after sex. He is probably up to his next victim.

Heartbrokengirl:
Lolzzz. I have to agree with you. My friend wanted to follow me that day oh. If she did, I am sure she would have badmouthed him before he says hi

Lols, thank God there are still some smiles left on your face. With this experience hope you don't engage in the stereotype of 'All men are same', cause there are still some few good ones left.

Donjazzy12:
I. Very very sure that you are a lesbian! That's why you collected head but was never interested in the main thing.

All men are decievers. Leave them alone for women who value men.

The man in question is a very good man. He never bleeped you. He kept his own desires in abeyance. Stop trash talking this good man. Continue with your lesbianism.

His female colleague who collected your number wanted to suck your pussy! That's how they do.90% of young ladies in Nigeria are coded lesbians. Anyways, you can go back to the female colleague to continue your lesbianism!

If it was a married woman that was sucking your pussy, you will never break up with her.

LESBIAN HYPOCHRITES!

Hence more interested in your money rather than your dick..

Heartbrokengirl:
Nairalanders and insults. How exactly am I the side hoe here? Someone clearly looked me in the face and lied to me many times and I am the hoe?

Are you always like this or you are faking it?

I don’t need your advice, I advised myself and left him for his wife and family.

Don't blame yourself, it's going to be fine. With time you will heal n get a true man for yourself. Mistakes like this do happen sometimes but I believe you r more informed n wiser now.

Shit happen ,either you play along or you get the hell out

Flier:
What if he is not married he just want to dump her ? These ladies don’t really know anything about Men.

uncleck:
You see, why I said he's a good man is because men have superior thought process. He could have led you on if he had wanted. He could have made you change to a stupid being if he had wanted. Even if you suspected him, he could still have had his way. But he chosed not to rush you in sex even when it was obvious he could have his way as much as he wanted. He choosed to not hurt you more and ended it.

He is ignorant because he doesn't know that if he had opened up to you during one of your initial dates, you could still have liked him. Women are simply emotional and devoid of logic.

Who ever wrote this has just made my day. Guy walai you sabi women.

Bbbwings:
So you live by nl likes

No, it tells you that your comment makes some kind of sense or that more people agree with what you’re saying, you should at least know that.

Heartbrokengirl:
He is muslim

If he is a muslim then this shouldn't be a problem because muslims are allowed to marry more than one wife unless you are not doing with been the only wife

daewoorazer:
What else can be more original than one that clearly steers clear of licking asses, yours reeks of As$-licking. Now that you’ve made your stupidity registered, you can crawl back to your tiny enclave

It doesn’t change the fact that your comment was boring and cliche. Try to be original in your life. Every single time someone wants to share their experience, it’s still same boring line you see in the comment section. Don’t you guys ever learn anything new in your life?

dejol88:
You ended a relationship because of his father insisted that marriage has to be conducted in the Catholic church, but okay to settle for a Muslim assuming he was not married.
My sister, na you play your self.

Dont mind her.

CHoccolaTE:
So you can see that zodiac juju works like I said

Your own birthday, is on the 6th, those born on the 6th or 15th or 24th of any month are usually venusian, they love the finer things in life, beauty, beautiful people, houses, environments on general, they love comfort, money, luxury, romance, charming behaviour; both receiving and giving, they love good food, they are on search of the perfect romance or perfect relationship or person and they hate to see the ugly side of the world or people. They are very refined and they look for refinement in others. They also tend to be gluttons


You in particular are a very passive person and you can be very lazy and unmotivated. You seem to float through life not caring about a lot of things and living inside your head.

Am I right or am I right?

What is this one saying.
Go to her dm if you wan toast am

SenecaTheYonger:
It doesn’t change the fact that your comment was boring and cliche. Try to be original in your life. Every single time someone wants to share their experience, it’s still same boring line you see in the comment section. Don’t you guys ever learn anything new in your life?

At this point, I’m pretty sure you lack understanding what the term originality means. You’re the feminist wannabe here from all indications.

And let this be the last time you’re ever gonna hop on my mentions again

Emaprince:
After reading this, I think you have nothing to be pained about. You lost nothing. Your dignity is still intact. So no need crying.

As far as what you wrote up there is who you are, then your kind is very very rare in a rotten world where the value of women have been washed up by women themselves. There is nothing left.

Pick your self up and keep your heads high. You are still 100% IMO.

Nah.
She is so partixular about no penetrative sex having taken place.
MouthAction it is.

You a a very lucky girl.

Heartbrokengirl:
I met a few members of his family. They were welcoming



He is muslim

And you are complaining? If he loves you like it seems, forget about the hurt and be with who ur heart yearns for. Omo life is too short o.

You can b his Nigeria based wife noni

femi4:
I know you ll come with the "I m comfortable" bla bla bla. Like I said, you got blinded by those material things not because you are not comfortable but because it COMPLIMENTS your status and perhaps his physique as well.

I know your your type, you get carried away easily without paying attention to details

Please be honest..has someone ever told you you possess a good degree of intelligence...I admire the way you argue

uncleck:
Was that necessary?

Park well.... Did i mention you? Busy body

Heartbrokengirl:
Women and men rant is not what I created this thread for. If he had told me, I would have left. I don’t date married men, I would never date one knowingly. I am also not one to suspect or snoop, my friend would laugh at me for this. She always told me I will one day regret my nonchalance to snooping.

I wouldn’t have had sex with him, I haven’t done it before and didn’t plan to start with him either. I just loved that he didn’t make it an issue like other guys.

Must you guys always have sex with whoever you guys dated?

Imagine you dated 10 guys before you finally got married to one

Mr R had his before the break up now Mr x got his share, y will get his and poor z will be finally be the husband.

zsamorano:
The fact still remain that, the guy is better than some single niggar out there...madam, make i advice u....give that guy second chance if truly u loves him and can follow your instinct. Don't forget plenty girl dey outside forming femism and will still end up becoming 2nd, 3rd and even 4th wife...u beta wise up. married men sabi love past all these single guy wey u dey see with 3 quarters and sagging jeans up and down. Wise up

lols

Bola146:
Enough of them here on nairaland Good forbid I should be a pain to my fellow woman. Thank God he opened up, I once met a guy here, he said he is a single father of one not knowing he is happly married with 4 daughters Mad man, you can never know because this guy na big fake ( his name on nairaland is HVIL... ) That is why single ladies should not just rush into marriage

Hahahaha

All I just want to say is Seun should make profile picture verification very compulsory. I am tired of reading write ups of people I can't see their faces. Some describe themselves to be mouth watery and I will just be acting aww when I can't see profile picture to buttress claims.

Profile picture verification will also put an end to those e-rats always on ghost mode bashing people on Nairaland that they can't stand in face to face reality.

Nemo judex casua sua! I am available for serious relationship. Just pm if you need help. I am 38 years old o

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

Going by a few details you revealed in the narration, the following are my observations:
*I think you fell in love (or perhaps, got infatuated) with the guy too easily/quickly and also showed the love too innocently. (Please note that there is some advantage/benefit in a girl playing too hard to get. So many guys out there are only interested in chopping and going. The urge for sex (usually very strong) is mainly what most guys consciously or subconsciously seek to satisfy when they go into relationships (don't blame us for this; blame nature).
*Your love or infatuation for the guy probably prevented you from taking some red flags/warnings seriously or even made you ignore them altogether.
*The guy truly loved you and cared about you. Seeing that you are a good girl (and the guy most likely being reasonably good himself), he couldn't keep hiding his marital status from you anymore (because of guilty conscience). He took a risk by confessing the truth; he had hoped that you will not leave him because of such truth (probably based on his perception of your love for him). However, I doubt if he really planned to marry you. He just liked you a lot and wanted the relationship to continue while keeping his conscience clear.

My advice for you concerning your future relationship(s) would be this: Do your best to ascertain that any guy you are involved with is who/what he claims to be in ALL areas. Love is good, but do not allow it to hinder you from finding out every truth/fact that matters about your partner so as to prevent avoidable regrets.

How this you issue really match your nairaland username surprised me.
You created it purposely for this ?

TruthSeeker1:
Going by a few details you revealed in the narration, the following are my observations:
*I think you fell in love (or perhaps, got infatuated) with the guy too easily/quickly and also showed the love too innocently. (Please note that there is some advantage/benefit in a girl playing too hard to get. So many guys out there are only interested in chopping and going. The urge for sex (usually very strong) is mainly what most guys consciously or subconsciously seek to satisfy when they go into relationships (don't blame us for this; blame nature).
*Your love or infatuation for the guy probably prevented you from taking some red flags/warnings seriously or even made you ignore them altogether.
*The guy truly loved you and cared about you. Seeing that you are a good girl (and the guy most likely being reasonably good himself), he couldn't keep hiding his marital status from you anymore (because of guilty conscience). He took a risk by confessing the truth; he had hoped that you will not leave him because of such truth (probably based on his perception of your love for him). However, I doubt if he really planned to marry you. He just liked you a lot and wanted the relationship to continue while keeping his conscience clear.

My advice for you concerning your future relationship(s) would be this: Do your best to ascertain that any guy you are involved with is who/what he claims to be in ALL areas. Love is good, but do not allow it to hinder you from finding out every truth/fact that matters about your partner so as to prevent avoidable regrets.

Gbam. He took the risk to see if she'll play along and continue in an undefined relationship. That's yet another game itself

Jonasbadoo:
He gave you head but you didn't have penetrative sex with him? who are you fooling? get lost Hoe

Chei! You are wicked.

Heartbrokengirl:
We never had penetrative sex, I have never had penetrative sex. The messages are from our past chat, I only cleared the chat after creating this thread. I have not set my eyes on him since then. He has called with other numbers, but that has been it.

Plz, you can reserve the “hoe” tag for your loved ones if it is such a pleasant name. Using it randomly on people you do not know is a not a sign of good upbringing.

You guys here are all about the dick, dick is everywhere, but I have lived 25yrs of my life without it and I didn’t die. I was only hurt he lied to me and led me on. Some of us are trusting. I know people that would have ransacked his house and social media pages, but I didn’t do that. I am not even on Facebook and Instagram. He preyed on the fact that I am quite private and trusting, direct your misgivings to him!!

I like your eloquence & style of writing.
Which country are you residing?

Fastlinkpro:
How this you issue really match your nairaland username surprised me.
You created it purposely for this ?

Lolz.

Once I see stories like this, I always jump to the profile of the poster. And in this case, I'm not supprised. The story is as fake as the account.

Nice touching story though.