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My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:21am On Dec 14, 2020
if it was not stressful and safe for instance and its connecting people together, not about competition, i would do it in the village.

Someone made a good point, that it connects people together, that i would reason is good, also, i would not want people from different locations to use unsafe roads, just to attend my wedding, we hear of stories of people dying on the roads, to attend weddings and funeral.

mmsen:


You Africans who spend much of your spare time in church, pleading with a dead Jew. Or mimicking the words of a dead Arab.

Send your children abroad to be used as chattel.

But having a 'traditional' wedding in a city is where you draw the line? embarassed
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:22am On Dec 14, 2020
joyandfaith:


Na fear fear dey worry u not love for any tradition . Social construct!
dude I have done my trade and registrer years

I am here to advise

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Buliwyf: 8:22am On Dec 14, 2020
Anaerobi:
all this children that grew in the city .. in igbo culture it's not done so...
if she don't want to be an object of mockry in future by her own friends... "you that your traditional marriage was done in a strange land" let her change that notion of hers.
if she don't want her children to feel the pain. "children whose mother's traditional marriage was not properly done"
court marriage is done in court. not in the market.
white wedding in church not in Stadium.
traditional marriage in the woman's home town village...
let's respect and value our culture.

Nonsense superstitions. So all those children of Igbo extraction whose parents marry abroad all feel pain and their mothers are object of mockery.

Some of you just come online and spout ridiculous positions without even pausing to consider it deeply.

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NwaforIgbo: 8:24am On Dec 14, 2020
Athemisia:

Doing it in the city has nothing to do with bastardizing the culture... As long as the rites are carried out...

It depends on how much you know on Igbo culture and how you value it..

Let me ask you then, will you replace the palm wine for a fruit juce in your TM?
Will you introduce cakes to your TM?
Will you wear Agbada to your TM?

How you answer this question willgo along way to actually tell how you value and respect the Igbo culture.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:24am On Dec 14, 2020
SeriouslySense:
if it was not stressful and safe for instance and its connecting people together, not about competition, i would do it in the village.

Someone made a good point, that it connects people together, that i would reason is good, also, i would not want people from different locations to use unsafe roads, just to attend my wedding, we hear of stories of people dying on the roads, to attend weddings and funeral.


How can people even get married without knowing the spouses home of origin apart from connecting people, you don't see a girl in the city and marry her... You must know her very well and her village

It's funny how people are supporting such a travesty of traditional wedding in Lagos

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by kraftysprouts: 8:24am On Dec 14, 2020
NwaforIgbo:


And you are part of the people basterdizing Igbo culture.. I believe u used cake and juice to do the wedding too.

I am not igbo
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 8:26am On Dec 14, 2020
Buliwyf:


Nonsense superstitions. So all those children of Igbo extraction whose parents marry abroad all feel pain and their mothers are object of mockery.

Some of you just come online and spout ridiculous positions without even pausing to consider it deeply.
Is this the perspective u understand my point?
lol.... U can never compare a black man reasoning and a white man.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by atiku4President(m): 8:27am On Dec 14, 2020
Yes. Just settle village people with what is due to them and do your thing in town. They don't even need your presence. Just use someone close to you in the village and reach others
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:29am On Dec 14, 2020
Okay, that's a good point, you have given a good reason, although i am not fan of village marriage, especially if i am far, but this is a good point, you are right there.

IkpuMmadu:


How can people even get married without knowing the spouses home of origin apart from connecting people, you don't see a girl in the city and marry her... You must know her very well and her village

It's funny how people are supporting such a travesty of traditional wedding in Lagos
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Prinnce1: 8:29am On Dec 14, 2020
mrblessed:
It is not normal. Such practice is anti-Igbo culture and shouldn't be condoned. Traditional marriage should rightly take place at the village of the girl, because it has huge relevance to the family, kindred, village, and community/town. Do you mean that the Ancestors won't be informed that their daughter is tying the knot? Their participation in the process is very necessary.

Most people today seem confused because religion/Christianity has displaced culture from its prime position in marital issues. Part of the problem is that we are trying to become Europeans, a wild goose chase we can never achieve. If marriage is cultural, and yes, it is, why celebrate traditional marriage in a place that has zero cultural relevance and significance?
Have not yet married or have any sister yo give out for marriage, but what I will advice you is give what belong to Caesar to Caesar, you see those village people if by chance your dad has attended the giving out of any female for marriage there they can use it against her. Some of this barrenness, chaos in marriages etc are caused by this archaic village people. Apply wisdom
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Buliwyf: 8:29am On Dec 14, 2020
Anaerobi:

Is this the perspective u understand my point?
lol.... U can never compare a black man reasoning and a white man.

Which is why black men are backwards. Anyway why would anyone take such reasoning seriously? Any couple is allowed to choose wherever they want to hold their weddings. It is their right.

The day Africans stop foisting their beliefs and superstitions on others the better Africa will become.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by sojfarm: 8:30am On Dec 14, 2020
Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?



Are you the one bankrolling the wedding? Otherwise, what is your fucking business

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by pocohantas(f): 8:30am On Dec 14, 2020
Majority of the people saying it is fine are not Igbos. The only people I know that will live, marry and be buried in Lagos without knowing their hometowns are Yorubas, no offense, but Igbos do not do that.

As woke as I am, one thing I will never do is my trad in the city or even marry without knowing the village of my partner.

All these woke Igbo people running away from the village saying “village people”, yes they could be a handful and I hate that- but a day will come when you’ll need those village people. I have an aunty that did Lagos marriage when I was a teenager, today she regrets it.


Even if you wake me from deep sleep, I will show you the way to my parents house IN THE VILLAGE. I can also show you their own parents houses as jara, that is my ROOT.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:31am On Dec 14, 2020
Given our Environment, this is a good reason to go to the village.
IkpuMmadu:


How can people even get married without knowing the spouses home of origin apart from connecting people, you don't see a girl in the city and marry her... You must know her very well and her village

It's funny how people are supporting such a travesty of traditional wedding in Lagos
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by nzeobi(m): 8:32am On Dec 14, 2020
Mynd44:

Culture is dynamic and never cast in stone as long as Tradition is followed.

You know she can actually give herself away in marriage right?
LOL a girl can never give her self out in marriage, even her mother can't give her out in marriage. Cohabiting doesn't mean marriage. Even in the bible only fathers give out their daughters hand in marriage.
Am talking of igbo culture anyway I don't know how yourbas do theirs.

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by pocohantas(f): 8:32am On Dec 14, 2020
IkpuMmadu:


How can people even get married without knowing the spouses home of origin apart from connecting people, you don't see a girl in the city and marry her... You must know her very well and her village

It's funny how people are supporting such a travesty of traditional wedding in Lagos

How do they do it?!!!!

Even if you want to do trad in the city, at least show him your hometown. Ahnahn!
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:33am On Dec 14, 2020
okay
pocohantas:
Majority of the people saying it is fine are not Igbos. The only people I know that will live, marry and be buried in Lagos without knowing their hometowns are Yorubas, no offense, but Igbos do not do that.

Your sister is not woke than I am, but one thing I will never do is my trad in the city or even marry without knowing the village of my partner.

All these woke Igbo people running away from the village saying “village people”, yes they could be a handful and I hate that- but a day will come when you’ll need those village people. I have an aunty that did Lagos marriage when I was a teenager, today she regrets it.

As woke as I am, even if you wake me from deep sleep, I will show you the way to my parents house IN THE VILLAGE. I can even show you their own parents houses as jara, that is my ROOT.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 8:35am On Dec 14, 2020
Buliwyf:


Which is why black men are backwards. Anyway why would anyone take such reasoning seriously? Any couple is allowed to choose wherever they want to hold their weddings. It is their right.

The day Africans stop foisting their beliefs and superstitions on others the better Africa will become.
oga be calming down pls. why is it called traditional marriage?
can u enjoy ur tradition fully elsewhere?

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:35am On Dec 14, 2020
Anaerobi:

u are right.but close relative can't come for ur traditional marriage in the city and come for wedding in city. u go to village for traditional marriage, they come to city for ur wedding... believe me u, an igbo man will say u did ur traditional marriage with ur friends and forgot them... am Igbo, but grew in North. though I don't travel frequently to east, but the little I have do. I can predict their behavior.
Lol.. Forget the wedding bros, that one no count really. What's most important is the trad.

But i get you clearly sha. My person is anything that could be resolved with good reason no need to even stress it. I no like stress.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by 1x2x3: 8:39am On Dec 14, 2020
Realhommie:
Yes, it doesn't have to be in the village. It is done anywhere the girl calls home. What's most important is that both families are ably represented and the necessaries done.

I'm from Delta central.

LOL I'm from Delta also and you lie big time. Your people are highly traditional people and I have never seen Isoko, ijaw, urhobo or ishekiri daughter being married out within Nigeria away from her ancestral home. I don't know how old you are but you have to ask questions.
You guys are fast losing your culture and it's unfortunate you are glad seeing it go. You think it's about evolving or development but when you travel to developed countries with cultural values you will notice how they judiciously protect their culture and traditions.

Let's assume a girl from your place grew up in Anambra state and she fell in love with a guy from Anambra right in the same place she grew up and lived most of her life so you feel it is appropriate holding her traditional marriage in Anambra because that's where she call home?

Let Africans keep losing their traditional values while coping western countries. One day we will read about our lost cultures in a book hidden at a museum in London.

4 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Anaerobi(m): 8:40am On Dec 14, 2020
Realhommie:
Lol.. Forget the wedding bros, that one no count really. What's most important is the trad.

But i get you clearly sha. My person is anything that could be resolved with good reason no need to even stress it. I no like stress.
lemme screenshot this and show ur woman that u will forget wedding ...lol... hahahaha.
and see how she will react towards u... ladies don't joke with such thing oh...
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by ayzTIGER: 8:42am On Dec 14, 2020
Most Igbo people abroad do come for traditional marriage but your sisters case they are here in Nigeria and want to do their traditional marriage outside homeland. That's why some Igbos resident in Nigeria but outside Igboland will be forming I can't speak or understand Igbo. This bastardisation of our culture and tradition by mostly Igbo girls must stop.
Homeland is very important for certain things in our life that even the ones that died faraway are brought home for proper burial

3 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:44am On Dec 14, 2020
So, there are merits to do the marriage in the village, its fine to do it in the city, but you have to sit your sister down ( We are reasonable), explain to her the benefits of also doing it in the village.

I see some, from peoples comments.

1) you get to know her families House, and the people that know them, and her family also get to know you, so creates more trust.

2) You connect with people positively in the village. (haha, i want to believe so)

3) Culture is sustained, especially the positive aspects of culture, (another smart person said, people make culture not culture makes people).

3) There is likely more agreements, possibility to solve problems in the future, and more cooperation within family
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Noneroone(m): 8:47am On Dec 14, 2020
Mynd44:

Culture is dynamic and never cast in stone as long as Tradition is followed.

You know she can actually give herself away in marriage right?
what's your interest in Igbo traditional discourse that you know nothing about as a Yoruba person. You claimed it's not Igbo culture but when several people told you otherwise you claimed "culture is dynamic"
Tradition is not dynamic that's why it's call traditional marriage. Desist from undermining people's culture.

5 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by YelloweWest: 8:49am On Dec 14, 2020
Allow your sister decide.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:50am On Dec 14, 2020
NwaforIgbo:


It depends on how much you know on Igbo culture and how you value it..

Let me ask you then, will you replace the palm wine for a fruit juce in your TM?
Will you introduce cakes to your TM?
Will you wear Agbada to your TM?

How you answer this question willgo along way to actually tell how you value and respect the Igbo culture.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Sterope(f): 8:52am On Dec 14, 2020
I am curious. Why is the village very important?

pocohantas:
Majority of the people saying it is fine are not Igbos. The only people I know that will live, marry and be buried in Lagos without knowing their hometowns are Yorubas, no offense, but Igbos do not do that.

As woke as I am, one thing I will never do is my trad in the city or even marry without knowing the village of my partner.

All these woke Igbo people running away from the village saying “village people”, yes they could be a handful and I hate that- but a day will come when you’ll need those village people. I have an aunty that did Lagos marriage when I was a teenager, today she regrets it.


Even if you wake me from deep sleep, I will show you the way to my parents house IN THE VILLAGE. I can also show you their own parents houses as jara, that is my ROOT.
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:53am On Dec 14, 2020
pocohantas:


How do they do it?!!!!

Even if you want to do trad in the city, at least show him your hometown. Ahnahn!
when showing him hometown why don't you do the whole thing at the home town....


We call it Amaram uno ogo
Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by NwaforIgbo: 8:54am On Dec 14, 2020
kraftysprouts:


I am not igbo

You see!!! So what gave you the moral right to advise an Igbo on how to observe his tradition??

You should have kept your opinion to yourself and wait till when you have to advice your keen

I sound angry right... Yes I usually do not take it lightly when people bastardize the Igbo culture.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by IkpuMmadu: 8:54am On Dec 14, 2020
SeriouslySense:
Okay, that's a good point, you have given a good reason, although i am not fan of village marriage, especially if i am far, but this is a good point, you are right there.


You must know the lady you are marrying down to her roots... You don't pick a random girl and marry

Any man that does that is a simp

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by SeriouslySense(m): 8:56am On Dec 14, 2020
NwaforIgbo:


You see!!! So what gave you the moral right to advise an Igbo on how to observe his tradition??

You should have kept your opinion to yourself and wait till when you have to advice your keen

I sound angry right... Yes I usually do not take it lightly when people bastardize the Igbo culture.

Re: My Sister Wants Traditional Marriage In The City: Is It Normal? by Realhommie(m): 8:57am On Dec 14, 2020
Anaerobi:

lemme screenshot this and show ur woman that u will forget wedding ...lol... hahahaha.
and see how she will react towards u... ladies don't joke with such thing oh...
Lol, off course.. What i meant there is the wedding is not so important for those village relative to attend.

But sincerely speaking i pray for a lady that won't stress me about a wedding, it's unnecessary. wink wink

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