This post is for intending grooms.

I made this post because it was one of the major reasons I parted with my ex(it was a serious relationship) few years ago, then I wasn't financially stable as I am now, so my decision was inline with my capability then. She told me she won't move in with me unless I do church wedding even after the trad. and she was serious about it. She wasn't ready to reason with me.

Considering the fact that majority of the men( those within the marriageable age range and above but are not financially stable enough to run everything at once) have the plan of doing the white wedding first, later on do the church wedding when they are more financially stable.

This led me to running a check recently and I find out that in some homes or families, they don't allow their daughters to move in with their husbands even after the men have paid their bride prices, until the church(or white) wedding has been done.

Dear single men, what do you think about this?
Can you cope with it until you're ready for your church wedding?

To the married ones, did you experience this?
How were you able to handle it?

MODs, please do the needful.

My sisters moved in with their husbands after traditional. I have 3, 2 are married (trad, court, church) with kids

Once tradiitonal marriage is done. Girl is your wife. That nonsense na eye service.

All of you men going to pay only bride price and postponing the rest are just looking for ticket to free sex.She's fully your wife and free to move in with you only after church wedding.

Iyaebe:
All of you men going to pay only bride price and postponing the rest are just looking for ticket to free sex.She's fully your wife and free to move in with you only after church wedding.

Some churches won't get couples married without traditional rites carried out.

Make I hear somebody tell me wife will move in after church. I go carry you go customary court - teach you some senses

Elporo:


Some churches won't get couples married without traditional rites carried out.

Make I hear somebody tell me wife will move in after church. I go carry you go customary court - teach you some senses

Oh,just because of the peanut you paid as bride price is enough to claim somebody's daughter abi. Mtcheww

There should be one wedding which is trad. All these ones are just nonsense and waste of funds

Always cut your cloth according to your cloth not size why not do small traditional wedding and go to the court straight all in low key?

ednut1:
There should be one wedding which is trad. All these ones are just nonsense and waste of funds

That vows before God is the most important after bride price, so you are only fully and truly married after church wedding

Elporo:


Some churches won't get couples married without traditional rites carried out.

Make I hear somebody tell me wife will move in after church. I go carry you go customary court - teach you some senses

Nna ehn, na that same thing my ex talk o.

There was a time her cousin got married while heavy i.e pregnant, I asked her "shebi you said your family don't do this and that, why is she pregnant before marriage?" but she couldn't answer but blab on about family rules/policies.


My wife dey follow me go home after our trad.

Anyway, I dey plan to do both on the same day sha, if not make I see anybody wey go tell me story sey na after church wedding.

Iyaebe:
That vows before God is the most important after bride price, so you are only fully and truly married after church wedding

no biblical backing for this. Only traditional wedding was in the bible

Iyaebe:
That vows before God is the most important after bride price, so you are only fully and truly married after church wedding

Traditional wedding is the real wedding, you can't have white without doing it first.

You can find it in the Bible but that can't be said about white/church wedding.

Where does paying of bride price take place?
Do you know prayers are also said in traditional wedding?

BabaIbo:

Anyway, I dey plan to do both on the same day sha, if not make I see anybody wey go tell me story sey na after church wedding.

Dem think sey dem get sense. If dem know sey the trad useless, why them collect bride price.

No gree .. promise them thunder and lighting if they mention this nonsense to you.

Funny, if you accept. Your inlaws no go respect you sef.

OP, what is your own family's stand regarding it? Did they allow your sisters/ female cousins go to their husband's house before the Church wedding?

Like seriously,I don't know who impacted the mentality of white wedding being a MUST-THING into the brains of Africans......As a matter of fact,I think if we as blacks must
make this white wedding stuff a compulsory thing,then we must put it at the back of our minds that we haven't been completely freed from mental slavery

I still dey talk am... Personally I won't do any white wedding.......Abi no be the same white wedding wey couples dey do,at the end,one party go still go cheat with his/her ring on ? . Sister,if you say I go must do the white wedding,abeg no vex, shift go front small,you go see who you dey find for front

Make Africans dey continue to dey deceive themselves......Oyinbo no gree do black wedding,but na we carry their own for head...So tay we even do am pass them now self

Wedding traditionally is our culture. Church wedding is oyibo man culture. C'est finis.

Elporo:


Dem think sey dem get sense. If dem know sey the trad useless, why them collect bride price.

No gree .. promise them thunder and lighting if they mention this nonsense to you.

Funny, if you accept. Your inlaws no go respect you sef.

You dey talk about "gree or no gree?"

Aswear, that talk above is funny. Me wey plan to give any babe wey I go marry belle before we proceed to the next stage.

No be when them get option them go bring up that kind talk?

It depends on how they sync up with their faith. If her believe of the bed undefiled implies until the vows are shared before God and the congregation as a witness, she has every right not to move in after traditional.

Both parties have a right to define what they want and how they want it.

Whatever works for the couple ooo.


for me, I have never been a fan of church wedding, I only wanted to trad wedding, do court and go home and rest.

So, after trad wedding, I told my hubby "Oya oooo Let's go". my sister brought my bags, I entered car, and off to my husband's house and village.

The thing is Couples should always do what works for them.

BabaIbo:


You dey talk about "gree or no gree?"

Aswear, that talk above is funny. Me wey plan to give any babe wey I go marry belle before we proceed to the next stage.

No be when them get option them go bring up that kind talk?

What if your babe no want the belle and goes ahead to......

Iyaebe:
That vows before God is the most important after bride price, so you are only fully and truly married after church wedding

traditional wedding supercedes all that

Iyaebe:
That vows before God is the most important after bride price, so you are only fully and truly married after church wedding

The problem we have is that we don't believe in our self just because its called church wedding does not mean is going to happen in a church, during the traditional wedding pastors are also invited and they make prayer is that not enough for church wedding?

greenie77:


What if your babe no want the belle and goes ahead to......

She won't or let me say she can't...

A man should know the kind of lady he's with na.
Again, I go don dey play her the tape small small i.e I go don dey tell tell her codedly before the e happen. So when it happens, her mind go dey.

NO

I didn't marry her for her parents

Lol..


Africans

Marriage is marriage,

Once you've paid her bride price, na you get her be that

I just pray sat I go meet person wey go understand me cuz if I must do church wedding then it must be Chapel wedding.
1. My family(brothers and some uncle)
2. In-laws and their few relatives cuz they won't completely agree.

Others who cares, nah for phone we go settle

Why not