₦airaland Forum

Dear OP,

I have carefully followed your thread and read all the comments by the contributors.

By now, you should appreciate some advices given to you about 2 months ago on the need for you to forget about the woman and move on with your life. Some women here tagged them to be haters, failed relationships etc.

Trust me, Nigerian women are naturally dangerous and complicated to understand. You should thank your God for making the path to separation so easy for you. I am married too and I know the kind of heart break I have suffered in the marriage. You are working your ass off and hardly have a life of your own just because you want your family to be happy and the same woman will describe you like a monster so that people can pity her and encourage her with whatever she is doing. That's why I don't contribute to any matter that any woman brings to NAIRALAND because I know that most of them are lies until you hear from the husband too. I have experienced it before and I know painful it was listening to your own woman describing you to be a terrible person just because she wanted validation. Another important thing to note is that, no matter what you do for your woman and her family, when the chips are down, they will always side with her.

Most times, if a woman is hanging on to you, it's because she is not economically empowered enough to challenge your authority. Average Nigerian women of today want to have an independent mind of their own whether they are married or not. Your woman has gained enough from you and doesn't need you anymore. She has just started a journey of seeing different men. She may even be lucky to meet some who are even more wealthy than you are. There are so many reckless men out there who are ready to spend the cash on women.

I can bet you that she is not in a hurry for any marriage but to enjoy her life, freedom and "easy" money from men.

Just be grateful that she didn't ruin you. Just put your life together and move on. IN ORDER TO HEAL UP, DON'T CALL HER AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS. IF YOU CALL HER BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SON, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO FEEL HURT. Focus on your happiness. Imagine yourself to be dead now (God forbid) and think whether your son will not continue with his life. Ensure you send his feeding allowances and school fees. You are also free to have another children wherever you are.

Now you see the reason why you have to become the so called ALPHA Male? Most of the women here will be manipulating you emotionally to try harder because they are not different from your woman including my wife too. I wish she can also walk away peacefully like this.

TO EVERY MAN, NEVER EVER SHOW YOUR WEAKNESS TO ANY WOMAN. MOST TIMES, THEY FEAR AND RESPECT MEN WHO TORMENT THEM.

Women are always unkind to men who genuinely love and cherish them because they will continue to ask for more and make you feel bad till you die. They want to be in charge of your life.

.

Broken2020:
Good evening to everyone that followed my post, thanks to everyone that advised me and to those that insulted me I say thank you too.

I learnt a lot from all y’all said, but it’s very unfortunate that she is really bent on quitting whatever we had.

The more I tried the more harder puzzle she became.

I just found out there is someone she is seeing, she told me the guy was an investor who offered to invest in her business, she said the guy wanted them to sign a 15yrs contract and I advised her not to go into that contract because 15yrs is so much.

She reluctantly agreed. When I noticed she wasn’t happy with my advice then I told her to tell the guy to bring his proposal so that I can send it to a business analyst to advice us on the deal.

About 1 month later I asked if she has heard from the guy she said no.

I have confirmed all she is doing with the guy, it’s business and pleasure.

She is bragging to everyone about the business and I know she has not saved enough to invest into the business.

No lies am heart broken, but i know I tried.

Please how do I delete this thread?

Broken2020:
I am losing access to my son, all I have worked for is about to crash before me. My baby mama’s friend has dealt a hard blow on my relationship.

Don’t mind my grammatical errors pls

I and my baby had issues last week, only for her to tell me she is not interested anymore, I was shocked because that’s not her, even if I threatened her with a breakup she will tell me I’ll die with you, but this time she said it’s over and she is serious, I have never called anyone into our issues since we have been together but this time I had to tell my younger sister who is married to help me talk to her, she sworn to my sister that she will come back to me only if her mum comes from the grave. My sister called to tell me what she said, my sister advised me to inform my dad since her mind is made up, I don’t want to do that yet.

This girl lacks nothing, am not in Nigeria but I provide everything for her and my son, my son attends one of the best schools in Amuwo Odofin, I bought her a car on her birthday in 2018.

I didn’t sleep all night, I called her around 3AM this morning we spoke till 9AM while talking to her, her friend came to her bedroom telling her to hang up. I asked who was that she said her friend, I asked to talk to her and her friend boldly told me she advised her to quit because I can’t hold her down for that long without even proposing to her, I have been away for 2 years, will I throw a ring to her? They applied for visa twice last year they were denied, I was suppose to visit them this year but I can’t leave here due to the pandemic.

She is a product of a broken marriage so am I, I don’t wish that for my son at all, I have gone to see her dad, her mom is late, she is an only child, I personally took care of her mom till she died, i single handily cover her funeral expenses, including taking care of her aunts and uncles that went for the funeral in delta state since she could not make it to Nigeria at that time.

I met this girl on Facebook in 2014, two months later she joined me abroad. We had my son in 2015 though I wasn’t ready at that time but her mom insisted her daughter won’t abort I told my mom and she insisted I allow her have the baby.

Our wedding was suppose to be in 2017 but because of the disagreement between her dad and her mom’s family my dad insisted I hold on till they are ready. She only met this friend of hers when we got back to Nigeria.

My only crime is I call her too much, I told her she is getting too big, she called it body shaming. I have cried my eyes out.

She refused to go stay in my house in Benin, I pay 750k yearly for their rent in Lagos, their monthly upkeep is 200k, i have never complained till 2 weeks ago when I sent her 120k after two days I wanted her to help me send someone 12k she said she had 10k left, I got mad and told her how much is minimum wage, families still live on it.

Please I need advice, I just look at my son and cry because I know what I went through growing up with my dad and stepmom.

well, I keep saying this, only when some ladies will get sense, u don't allow a friend to dictate how to deal with ur relationship, she only forget to understand that if her friend finds herself in such situations, she will never take to ur Babymama's advice..na only God fit epp most relationship/marriages now, communication is dead, tolerance is zero..bro, keep trying to find a way to resolve things and if she's made up, just make sure u do ur part on ur son, I know it's hard to let go due to the boy involved in this..I feel ur pain, whatever it is, it that woman go reason am well, that baby should be considered first before she puts in her decision, all these women, oluwa lo ma GBA won..I know how you feel but try to do all u can to reconcile and hopefully she realizes that she no fit advice that her friend, make she take it..I don't keep friends because once u are family man, there should be limit to some things else , u will be making some behavior just like them.

area74:
Dear OP,

I have carefully followed your thread and read all the comments by the contributors.

By now, you should appreciate some advices given to you about 2 months ago on the need for you to forget about the woman and move on with your life. Some women here tagged them to be haters, failed relationships etc.

Trust me, Nigerian women are naturally dangerous and complicated to understand. You should thank your God for making the path to separation so easy for you. I am married too and I know the kind of heart break I have suffered in the marriage. You are working your ass off and hardly have a life of your own just because you want your family to be happy and the same woman will describe you like a monster so that people can pity her and encourage her with whatever she is doing. That's why I don't contribute to any matter that any woman brings to NAIRALAND because I know that most of them are lies until you hear from the husband too. I have experienced it before and I know painful it was listening to your own woman describing you to be a terrible person just because she wanted validation. Another important thing to note is that, no matter what you do for your woman and her family, when the chips are down, they will always side with her.

Most times, if a woman is hanging on to you, it's because she is not economically empowered enough to challenge your authority. Average Nigerian women of today want to have an independent mind of their own whether they are married or not. Your woman has gained enough from you and doesn't need you anymore. She has just started a journey of seeing different men. She may even be lucky to meet some who are even more wealthy than you are. There are so many reckless men out there who are ready to spend the cash on women.

I can bet you that she is not in a hurry for any marriage but to enjoy her life, freedom and "easy" money from men.

Just be grateful that she didn't ruin you. Just put your life together and move on. IN ORDER TO HEAL UP, DON'T CALL HER AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS. IF YOU CALL HER BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SON, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO FEEL HURT. Focus on your happiness. Imagine yourself to be dead now (God forbid) and think whether your son will not continue with his life. Ensure you send his feeding allowances and school fees. You are also free to have another children wherever you are.

Now you see the reason why you have to become the so called ALPHA Male? Most of the women here will be manipulating you emotionally to try harder because they are not different from your woman including my wife too. I wish she can also walk away peacefully like this.

TO EVERY MAN, NEVER EVER SHOW YOUR WEAKNESS TO ANY WOMAN. MOST TIMES, THEY FEAR AND RESPECT MEN WHO TORMENT THEM

Women are always unkind to men who genuinely love and cherish them because they will continue to ask for more and make you feel bad till you die. They want to be in charge of your life.

.

I understand you might be hurt but the bolded is quite wrong, the fact that something was what you experienced doesn't make it what happens in General.

There are men whose wives love and respect them despite knowing their weakness and I can say no woman wants a man who torments them

Perfecttouchade:
well, I keep saying this, only when some ladies will get sense, u don't allow a friend to dictate how to deal with ur relationship, she only forget to understand that if her friend finds herself in such situations, she will never take to ur Babymama's advice..na only God fit epp most relationship/marriages now, communication is dead, tolerance is zero..bro, keep trying to find a way to resolve things and if she's made up, just make sure u do ur part on ur son, I know it's hard to let go due to the boy involved in this..I feel ur pain, whatever it is, it that woman go reason am well, that baby should be considered first before she puts in her decision, all these women, oluwa lo ma GBA won..I know how you feel but try to do all u can to reconcile and hopefully she realizes that she no fit advice that her friend, make she take it..I don't keep friends because once u are family man, there should be limit to some things else , u will be making some behavior just like them.

I asked her if her friend will listen to her if it was the other way found.

I was considering my son and that never crossed her mind.

I tried bro but her mind is made up

area74:
Dear OP,

I have carefully followed your thread and read all the comments by the contributors.

By now, you should appreciate some advices given to you about 2 months ago on the need for you to forget about the woman and move on with your life. Some women here tagged them to be haters, failed relationships etc.

Trust me, Nigerian women are naturally dangerous and complicated to understand. You should thank your God for making the path to separation so easy for you. I am married too and I know the kind of heart break I have suffered in the marriage. You are working your ass off and hardly have a life of your own just because you want your family to be happy and the same woman will describe you like a monster so that people can pity her and encourage her with whatever she is doing. That's why I don't contribute to any matter that any woman brings to NAIRALAND because I know that most of them are lies until you hear from the husband too. I have experienced it before and I know painful it was listening to your own woman describing you to be a terrible person just because she wanted validation. Another important thing to note is that, no matter what you do for your woman and her family, when the chips are down, they will always side with her.

Most times, if a woman is hanging on to you, it's because she is not economically empowered enough to challenge your authority. Average Nigerian women of today want to have an independent mind of their own whether they are married or not. Your woman has gained enough from you and doesn't need you anymore. She has just started a journey of seeing different men. She may even be lucky to meet some who are even more wealthy than you are. There are so many reckless men out there who are ready to spend the cash on women.

I can bet you that she is not in a hurry for any marriage but to enjoy her life, freedom and "easy" money from men.

Just be grateful that she didn't ruin you. Just put your life together and move on. IN ORDER TO HEAL UP, DON'T CALL HER AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS. IF YOU CALL HER BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SON, YOU WILL CONTINUE TO FEEL HURT. Focus on your happiness. Imagine yourself to be dead now (God forbid) and think whether your son will not continue with his life. Ensure you send his feeding allowances and school fees. You are also free to have another children wherever you are.

Now you see the reason why you have to become the so called ALPHA Male? Most of the women here will be manipulating you emotionally to try harder because they are not different from your woman including my wife too. I wish she can also walk away peacefully like this.

TO EVERY MAN, NEVER EVER SHOW YOUR WEAKNESS TO ANY WOMAN. MOST TIMES, THEY FEAR AND RESPECT MEN WHO TORMENT THEM.

Women are always unkind to men who genuinely love and cherish them because they will continue to ask for more and make you feel bad till you die. They want to be in charge of your life.

.

Thanks bro, I have decided to gather up my remains and move on. I know one day soon she will realize the mess she made of herself.

My son is my hero and all I gained in the relationship

area74:
Dear OP,
I have carefully followed your thread and read all the comments by the contributors.

By now, you should appreciate some advices given to you about 2 months ago on the need for you to forget about the woman and move on with your life. Some women here tagged them to be haters, failed relationships etc.

Now you see the reason why you have to become the so called ALPHA Male? Most of the women here will be manipulating you emotionally to try harder because they are not different from your woman including my wife too. I wish she can also walk away peacefully like this.

Some of them (the females here) may not be exactly like his babymama... but I learned early that whenever a man needs advice about women, the last people he should seek opinions from are other women. DON'T even try it!

If she's not his mother or sister (that kind of sister who doubles as a mother by her disposition), then forget it, because he will never get a completely objective and selfless advice from any other female.

I only had to read the opening post and a few subsequent posts of his before making my comment on page 4 telling him to forget this woman TOTALLY and focus on his son ALONE – I could already figure out his babymama just from those comments about her.
When you've had a zillion interactions with women of all kinds and statuses, it becomes that easy.

But of course, 'they' wanted him to try harder, to do more... which is not unusual considering that the default nature of a woman is to place herself in a position of unmerited importance – they want to be desired, they love to feel wanted, they want a man to pet them, even when they are misbehaving and being a complete nuisance... this is how they interpret love, so their first response is "wow this could be me and if it were me (although I won't do this much), I would want my man to try harder... maybe I'm just having bad days and need his support and love to weather it"
Rehabilitation Centre, Lol.

Personally, I don't even know how to try harder when it comes to women and it has worked out well for me thus far... it's been a very long time since I tried harder, probably in my teens.
I guess that's why I had always been attracted to very specific types of women who seem well put-together emotionally & psychologically... but even if some reason I got carried away without noticing anything ab initio, the moment I do, the disconnect is always instant.

Broken2020:
I asked her if her friend will listen to her if it was the other way found.

I was considering my son and that never crossed her mind.

I tried bro but her mind is made up

something is wrong somewhere I'm very sure. Be you bro.

Sorry bro.
I read your story from A-Z and I feel your pain.
You see, we live and learn everyday. No one is the wisest and I don't think there's any foolest anywhere if such word exist.. We sometimes found ourselves in a very critical situation beyond our control which your case is one of those.

I'm sorry your wife is not coming back to you anytime soon until she gets really messed up with that her man or maybe not! Maybe it's going to be a successful ending for her as well... That's not for us to know cuz sometimes shyte happens.
I personally feel her friend was the architect of the situation right now and she knew how your wife got the new man and all that...
Just have it at the back of your mind your wife isn't coming back cuz its too late and your most consign now is your son which I would really love if one of you trusted family member can adopt and help you raise... Forget you don't want your child being raised from a broken home . We all have plans how we want our life to turn out but sometimes we just accept what reality gives us.

Don't call her often as you used to.. Call just once a week...always talk about your son and let me tell you something... She would want to use your son as a bait to frustrate you and act crazy so you just need to act as if you don't care anymore .She might not want to give you your son so you have to be mentally prepared for that too. Don't fight her bro. If you discuss whom to keep the child and she said she will then just box in cuz she would want to extort you to the bone marrow if you put up a fight or maybe just block every means of reaching her if you put up a fight. . All you need is to just reach a compromise how much you bringing to the table for you son at the end of the month. And look, you have to be very smart here. Tell her you will be paying everything for your kids welfare. Like say 200k monthly, and make sure you pay that very maybe 4months and after that start acting broke. Like you are running into serious problem over there (come up with a very serious situation) then you should start sending small change like 50k 70k.. ( in fact always delay payment. You can send 20k 3 times just to Paint a picture you're really broke and things are not working... Bros it's would be very hard cuz your son will deff be affected along the line) Unfixed amount for your kids cuz this woman can run one or two science for your head if you're still vulnerable so you have to paint a picture of a broke and worthless man. She would eventually got tired ( if by any chance she got broke and she isn't getting money like before.. She will turn back to you by then you can then suggest your sister adopt your son) along the line when you can't meet up with the son welfare and by then her eye go don dey clear small when she no get too much money fallen on her lap here and there. .
It's not gonna be easy but you have to be mentally strong man cuz that's the reality of life.
If you're able to get your son and make her out of his life and yourlife as well then that's a win win... He just dey pain me like dis but I wish you all the best bro.

This looks pretty much like a made up story.

Broken2020:
The phone was just a gift and to say am truly sorry, besides I made it a habit to change her phone every year either before her birthday or few days after her birthday. This one came a bit late this year cos COVID-19 affected everything.

I don’t really know where I missed it, but I wanted to touch every areas to see if I could fix things and the more I try the more it get worse, now I dare not crack jokes because I’ll get a very cold response, I dare not ask questions about where she is going, I’ll get an aggressive response. She does not tell me about where she is going now, I just call and see her driving, if I ask where she is going she will say I want to go get this and that.

My younger sister once teased me saying I bought her a car to be raving mad In the streets of Lagos since she is not under the authority of anyone.

This thing has become too toxic, I can’t take it anymore, she was the only one I could talk to on the phone for hours, not even my parents or siblings.

I swear I just confuse, this will make me see every woman out there as a betrayer. I don’t know how this will end.

The more I look the less I see......... imagine this happening again in the week of my son’s birthday.

My brother I have been reading your post and I can literally feel your pain. my advice

1. Do not communicate with her again.
2. Plan coming home as soon as possible without informing anyone.
3. Enter the house very early in the morning with mean face, collect every single gift and most especially your son.
4. call your friends and family to come your house immediately that their is fire in the mountains and you are back home.
5. Seive every thing including the car and iphone for the mean time.
6. wait and see her actions.

don't eat her food or have sex with her.

if you can do this before January, you will see how things will turn for your favour quickly.

her reaction will let you know the next step. you you do this. the juju her friend used on her will clear for her eyes. be blessed

RSVP:
Sorry bro.
I read your story from A-Z and I feel your pain.
You see, we live and learn everyday. No one is the wisest and I don't think there's any foolest anywhere if such word exist.. We sometimes found ourselves in a very critical situation beyond our control which your case is one of those.

I'm sorry your wife is not coming back to you anytime soon until she gets really messed up with that her man or maybe not! Maybe it's going to be a successful ending for her as well... That's not for us to know cuz sometimes shyte happens.
I personally feel her friend was the architect of the situation right now and she knew how your wife got the new man and all that...
Just have it at the back of your mind your wife isn't coming back cuz its too late and your most consign now is your son which I would really love if one of you trusted family member can adopt and help you raise... Forget you don't want your child being raised from a broken home . We all have plans how we want our life to turn out but sometimes we just accept what reality gives us.

Don't call her often as you used to.. Call just once a week...always talk about your son and let me tell you something... She would want to use your son as a bait to frustrate you and act crazy so you just need to act as if you don't care anymore .She might not want to give you your son so you have to be mentally prepared for that too. Don't fight her bro. If you discuss whom to keep the child and she said she will then just box in cuz she would want to extort you to the bone marrow if you put up a fight or maybe just block every means of reaching her if you put up a fight. . All you need is to just reach a compromise how much you bringing to the table for you son at the end of the month. And look, you have to be very smart here. Tell her you will be paying everything for your kids welfare. Like say 200k monthly, and make sure you pay that very maybe 4months and after that start acting broke. Like you are running into serious problem over there (come up with a very serious situation) then you should start sending small change like 50k 70k.. ( in fact always delay payment. You can send 20k 3 times just to Paint a picture you're really broke and things are not working... Bros it's would be very hard cuz your son will deff be affected along the line) Unfixed amount for your kids cuz this woman can run one or two science for your head if you're still vulnerable so you have to paint a picture of a broke and worthless man. She would eventually got tired ( if by any chance she got broke and she isn't getting money like before.. She will turn back to you by then you can then suggest your sister adopt your son) along the line when you can't meet up with the son welfare and by then her eye go don dey clear small when she no get too much money fallen on her lap here and there. .
It's not gonna be easy but you have to be mentally strong man cuz that's the reality of life.
If you're able to get your son and make her out of his life and yourlife as well then that's a win win... He just dey pain me like dis but I wish you all the best bro.

All you said is smart and wise, thanks bro I appreciate. My major problem now is staying a day without calling my son.. I just pray God help me through this.

craleonic:
This looks pretty much like a made up story.

I’m not surprised.

crackhaus:
Some of them (the females here) may not be exactly like his babymama... but I learned early that whenever a man needs advice about women, the last people he should seek opinions from are other women. DON'T even try it!

If she's not his mother or sister (that kind of sister who doubles as a mother by her disposition), then forget it, because he will never get a completely objective and selfless advice from any other female.

I only had to read the opening post and a few subsequent posts of his before making my comment on page 4 telling him to forget this woman TOTALLY and focus on his son ALONE – I could already figure out his babymama just from those comments about her.
When you've had a zillion interactions with women of all kinds and statuses, it becomes that easy.

But of course, 'they' wanted him to try harder, to do more... which is not unusual considering that the default nature of a woman is to place herself in a position of unmerited importance – they want to be desired, they love to feel wanted, they want a man to pet them, even when they are misbehaving and being a complete nuisance... this is how they interpret love, so their first response is "wow this could be me and if it were me (although I won't do this much), I would want my man to try harder... maybe I'm just having bad days and need his support and love to weather it"
Rehabilitation Centre, Lol.

Personally, I don't even know how to try harder when it comes to women and it has worked out well for me thus far... it's been a very long time since I tried harder, probably in my teens.
I guess that's why I had always been attracted to very specific types of women who seem well put-together emotionally & psychologically... but even if some reason I got carried away without noticing anything ab initio, the moment I do, the disconnect is always instant.

I’m done with this woman no jokes.

Am not the type that will beg a woman to stay with me, if my son wasn’t in the picture, am not sure I would have even brought this here.

When a woman says it’s over I immediately allow her bounce, I wanted this to work because of my son.

Broken2020:
I’m done with this woman no jokes.

Am not the type that will beg a woman to stay with me, if my son wasn’t in the picture, am not sure I would have even brought this here.

When a woman says it’s over I immediately allow her bounce, I wanted this to work because of my son.

there was a similar situation I knew about. There are certain factors to consider before making ur decision.

Perfecttouchade:
there was a similar situation I knew about. There are certain factors to consider before making ur decision.

There is nothing more to consider, she didn’t consider my son, she happy with whatever she is doing now and I can’t do anything about it.

I’ll be the last man to force or beg a woman to stay with me, man this girl will use me and mess me up if I allow this to continue.

Broken2020:
I’m done with this woman no jokes.

Am not the type that will beg a woman to stay with me, if my son wasn’t in the picture, am not sure I would have even brought this here.

When a woman says it’s over I immediately allow her bounce, I wanted this to work because of my son.

Bro, you could and can always have a relationship with your son without being tethered to his mother – you won't be the first to do it, and you certainly won't be the last.

I will admit though, she will try to frustrate you.
She's a woman and once she realizes she has no emotional hold on you anymore, she will look for something in her possession which you still care about and use it to keep your attention – in this case, it's your son.

What you have as an advantage though, and what every man should always have in order to gain advantage over the wiles and emotional manipulations/blackmails of a woman, is FORESIGHT – knowing what she can do & how she will react before she does, and being prepared for it.

Your babymama in this case, will make it harder for you to stay in contact with your son, she will even try to keep him away from you – this is all just tricks to get you to come kneel at her feet, not out of selflessness but out of vain glory.

You must ignore it all and continue doing right by your son ONLY. I remember suggesting here before that you could use your family to maintain contact if it gets to that point.

Please don't try to tussle/fight her to maintain a relationship with your son, this is what she wants because emotional blackmail/manipulation is a woman's place of strength and you don't want to enter her battlefield – you will lose.

Broken2020:
There is nothing more to consider, she didn’t consider my son, she happy with whatever she is doing now and I can’t do anything about it.

I’ll be the last man to force or beg a woman to stay with me, man this girl will use me and mess me up if I allow this to continue.

Take legal action to get the custody of ur child or you minimize the upkeep u are giving her such that it will be just enough for ur child's school needs and other things for him with little for her personal needs such that she won't get the chance of turning u to her ATM for no reason. You can even get your son clothes, toys and some other things regularly to ensure he is settled.

Stevenbright:
Take legal action to get the custody of ur child or you minimize the upkeep u are giving her such that it will be just enough for ur child's school needs and other things for him with little for her personal needs such that she won't get the chance of turning u to her ATM for no reason. You can even get your son clothes, toys and some other things regularly to ensure he is settled.

Thanks boss

Stevenbright:
Take legal action to get the custody of ur child or you minimize the upkeep u are giving her such that it will be just enough for ur child's school needs and other things for him with little for her personal needs such that she won't get the chance of turning u to her ATM for no reason. You can even get your son clothes, toys and some other things regularly to ensure he is settled.

And you think the little boy will be handed over to the father by the court?

The father has not said anything is wrong with her capacity as a mother ( to the boy) the issues they have are their own issues as a couple he has not stated she is found wanting as a mother.

These are different things entirely

Hello OP,

Logic and Reasons definitely work in your favor and the decision you have made.
Reading through, I can't say for a fact that you truly want this woman. Emphases has been largely on your son
and the ideal family you look to raise (You're a good father, he'd be proud to call you dad).
I don't know much, but I know forever is too long a time to be unhappy.
Lifelong decisions like this are taken with full considerations. Maybe this is all for the best or not, we never know.
However, let now count; get all you need (access to your son, documents et al).
You'd definitely find someone whose values and beliefs closely aligns with yours.


my own half a cent

shyman:
Hello OP,

Logic and Reasons definitely work in your favor and the decision you have made.
Reading through, I can't say for a fact that you truly want this woman. Emphases has been largely on your son
and the ideal family you look to raise (You're a good father, he'd be proud to call you dad).
I don't know much, but I know forever is too long a time to be unhappy.
Lifelong decisions like this are taken with full considerations. Maybe this is all for the best or not, we never know.
However, let now count; get all you need (access to your son, documents et al).
You'd definitely find someone whose values and beliefs closely aligns with yours.


my own half a cent

Thanks bro, she has since sent my documents to my sister, that was when I knew she was serious.

I know my son will be so proud of me

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Klass99:
I thought you wanted this thread closed . Stay here write and take in, other people's perspectives it will aid your healing process.

When you said you had moved on I smiled in my heart because I was reminded of my school days - when we break up with someone and be forming we are over them and we have moved on.

Only to see them at the library, school park or restaurant and your heart starts breaking into a thousand pieces, you can't help but admire them (if they are particularly looking really good the day you see them) and you'll be there trying to act all cool, calm and collected, like seeing them isn't messing with your psyche

I wasn't surprised when you subsequently acknowledged you were heart broken to find out she's mixing business and pleasure with a certain guy. Guy, you will be alright las las give it time but you have to grieve and don't pretend like you're cool/okay, when you're not.

I hear rebound relationships help to accelerate the process of getting over someone, I don't know how true that is, though. Try casual dating in your location, no serious or heavy stuff like sex involved. Just hang out do movies and other nice but inexpensive stuff, with a lady you fancy.

This is not the time to be smoking and drinking excessively to numb the pain, find other ways to cope. I
lose myself in movies and novels, when dealing with difficult situations, that works for me. Find what works for you.

Alcohol has been my best friend for weeks now, I just remembered I have not drank water for 2 weeks.

I got my fair share of 2020, so na to find another woman and start from the scratch...

Wahala dey oo

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Klass99:
Shame on you!

Because of woman wey say she no want you again, you wan destroy your liver, body and health. Dem use that chic swear for you?

Please amend your ways, no human being is worth self destructing or self sabotaging, for.

Maybe dem use her do me oo, but I’ll be fine sha

southniyikaye:
We are in the same shit, the only diff is, you dey abroad, I dey ibadan..
You send upkeep of 200k
I send 20k
Make I no even go the school aspect at all.
I think getting married is the issue here as they think maybe you have someone there already and may abandon her later..

Let me tell you a secret, if I am opportuned to leave this country, how I will take my kids from her is all I will think about...
If her friend could advice her to quit the relationship, do you know if she already introduced her to another guy who is already promising her marriage?
I still try to know what Nigerian girls problem is
For some it is money
For some it is love
For some it is both
Some don't even know what they want...

Someone said a lady can be with you, have kids for you, cook for you, have sex with you and the love she have for you is dead in her heart..

Mr South Aniyikaye,
Longest time.
What is your ex-wife or babymama doing for a living now? still staying with her mum? and what about the guy she is flirting with on fb? she is in another relation as expected of nigerian ladies?

Broken2020:
Maybe dem use her do me oo, but I’ll be fine sha

I usually smile when I see men especially here on NL forming redpillers.

Just move on and be focused on your finances at the right time everything will fall in place.

iamloyalty:
I usually smile when I see men especially here on NL forming redpillers.

Just move on and be focused on your finances at the right time everything will fall in place.

Thanks sis, God bless you